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48 year old white married male with an empathic 18 year old daughter.

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Cheshire Cat
04/05/18 11:25:28AM @cheshire-cat:

Hi @ Zacharias - I did not want to throw off the original thread, but I'd like to ask you about your (aside) comment about how you did not really want to die, but wanted the pain to stop, because you couldn't stand the way people are in this world. Then God showed himself to you and it all changed. I would like to know how did God show himself, and how did he show you your correct path? I am in the same dark place you were then, but I get no help when I pray, or meditate or ask outright, and it's been 20 yrs. since a spirit guide would speak to me.  Sad & curious cat here.....

Cheshire Cat

04/05/18 06:33:16PM @zacharias:

At 18 I got down on my knees and begged God to show me something, anything that would prove that He is real and would help me. Nothing happened. I felt lost and alone.

I struggled through life. Thought about suicide many times, but I did have a friend that helped me through it all. The struggle was a learning process, I see that now. This friend is the most positive person I know. He has a smile permanently etched on his face. He helped me think more positive. I needed his caring guidance. So I see now that God did answer my prayer, but it didn't happen the way I wanted. I was resisting God's instruction. I had to get to a point were I stopped resisting. 

I was walking around my backyard one day when I had this thought about Jesus. First, that He must have been an empath, second, that He was the greatest warrior of all time! I had been wrong in thinking He was weak, and that this is a man I could follow and learn from. At that moment I was filled with His spirit and got the answer I was looking for for close to 20 years. It felt great. I had passion for life again. This feeling I now know as Joy. The one emotion I had never felt from any other human. I didn't know what I did to deserve this gift until later. Now I know, I surrendered my will. I gave myself over to a belief that God's way is better than my way. Since then he has made that path more and more clear. It isn't without difficulty. In fact, it's been more difficult, because He urges me to face my fears and give up my anger. When I do His will he gives me Joy. "Not my will, but Thine be done", Jesus said this knowing he would be sacrificed for the souls of many. 

Spiritually is universal. How ever you get to God is just how you do it. You may not choose the Christian way. We are all unique in our relationship to the Source of all power and Love. The things all good faiths of the earth have in common is: Belief, surrender, forgiveness. It's a willingness to change how you think. I see so many people who are not Christians that have a deep spiritual understanding. They all go by the example that Jesus set, or Buddha, or whoever did the same.

I wish I could share this feeling with you. Joy is the greatest. Before I knew what it was I called it Fulfillment of Purpose. You want it! I get it by doing the things God leads me to do. Usually it's hard and I don't want to. So I ask Him for motivation and he gives it to me. I have to surrender my will to Him daily. I ask for His protection and guidance, then I go about my day. Things work out some how in weird ways that I didn't foresee (Irony is Gods sense of humor). Because of this, I don't have to worry about what could happen or even care about the outcome. It's the true freedom I was looking for. So I love you, Cat, just as I love all people, and animals, and trees, and bugs. I can now that the majority of the pain is gone. I want that for you too. I'll be praying that is does happen.

John Zacharias

Cheshire Cat
04/06/18 08:31:13AM @cheshire-cat:

Thank you so much for the heartfelt answer, John!

I have experienced some of what you talked about, and just recently had someone contact me and tell me her angels had told her to help me because I am being bombarded by negative entities that do not want me to complete my mission. I already knew I was being bombarded, and which type of entity is doing it, and I knew this was some of the help I'd been asking for. You are so right that we often don't notice the ways in which help is being given.

I do find great moments of joy in nature and animals, but have a very hard time with humans. The more I can see into them, the less I like most of them. I am not even sure I am human sometimes, but then I remember I have plenty of flaws too. Knowing that humans created the disease that is killing me and so many others does not help. Like many empaths, I have a push-pull relationship with people.

I agree the basic story is the same across all spiritual traditions. Jesus was certainly not weak! Throwing the usurers out of the temple and whipping them was hardly a cowardly act. It's a sad commentary on our relativistic, programmed society that so many unread, uninformed people would hold that opinion. Thanks so much for your input and may many blessings be yours.

Cheshire Cat