A lot has happened
Hello fellow travelers,
This site (or the original one) helped me survive back in 2009. I kept abreast of things in the universe but have once again lost my way as life has been intense for the last few years. I am older and more introspective about things now. Less inclined to be open to any uncaring or hostile outside influences. This has allowed me some growth but recent events have overwhelmed me and I can't seem to get back on track.
I have had close contact with a strong empath on a personal level. She ( as I recently found out) uses her sensitivities to control those around her. Its a survival mechanism for her, her parents were junkies who left her to raise herself from age 14 on. Her empathic abilities are very high and she uses them like a sword. I tried to help her with this for the last two years but she has now taken another path and I am left sad and adrift. Rereading this sounds like I am a candidate for the broken hearts club but it way more intense and depressing than a lost friend or lover. We were attached on a higher level which surprised me time and again and now I am situationally alone and feel like I am falling into nothingness. Not sure what I am asking for or needing here, maybe just to see it in print.
Normally when I sleep or close my eyes I see random Rhor-shock type light patterns behind my eyelids. This has always been a comforting thing for me. Past stresses and insomnias did cause them to disappear in the past but they always returned when I was once again balanced in my emotional happy place. Now the patterns are actually bright red on a stark black background and very disturbing.
I have always appreciated the brilliance of this site and adore the wealth of experience and situational experience here.