I guess I should say hello and give a few words about myself and why I'm here.
I guess I should say that just someone who's looking to learn something about themselves, I guess that's why I'm here. I think that I may be an empath or have some empath tendencies. I'm not certain on these things and I'm not totally sure if I believe in it but I like to keep an open mind on different possibilities and I do naturally tend to find rational explanations before I except supernatural/paranormal explanations for things but I have found myself questioning whether or not I may be an empath.
The other week I randomly came across something online about empaths. It was an article about empaths, their traits/characteristics and it made me think about myself and my past a little bit and as I read the list of these traits and characteristics I recognized some of them in myself and the natural tendencies that I have and how they've been a part of me during my lifetime.
There have been a few incidents, some more mundane and some that seemed somewhat out of the ordinary, that I have called back from memory in my life that seems to corroborate my current questionings of being an empath.
One memory was of a time when I used to drink with other people in a local bar and I had put on some music on the jukebox. After a while someone said that I was seemingly able to judge the mood of those who were also in there and put on music that would fit perfectly to the mood of the bar at the time. I think this may have happened a few times.
There have been times when I have been able to gauge general opinion on things, even when I hadn't really spoken to anyone on the topic.
This one's a bit of a bigger thing that happened and might be coincidence. There was a time that I had a really pleasant dream. It happened many years ago and I remember spending time with a beautiful girl. It wasn't anything sexual or anything like that but there was a general feeling of love and it was filled with a really loving air and we were mostly just hanging out and eating and I was lost in the general loving feeling that I felt being with her. I woke up and I was still feeling such great feelings at the time. About a week later I was out and had some places that I needed to go to as I had a couple of appointments that I needed to attend to. As I was walking down the road to one of these appointments I noticed a girl walking up in the other direction. We had caught each others eye as we got closer and we smiled as we walked past each other and I could have sworn that she was the same girl from my dream. I know that I should have said something to her at the time but I guess that I was a bit too shy about it.
I know that it could all be a coincidence or just my mind playing tricks on me and is just my imagination but at the time it was something that struck me as strange and still hangs in my memory.
There were other things during my life but I need to try to remember them and they seemed to happen a lot during my time at school
A few traits that I have that might suggest that I'm an empath:
- I prefer my own company and have been at my happiest in my life when I'm alone.
- I really dislike crowded places and I really like to avoid them when possible.
- I feel sorry for those lower down the 'social chain' and sympathize with those who are downtrodden.
- People have been known, including several strangers, to talk to me about their problems or life and some have said that they feel perfectly comfortable in doing so.
- I feel naturally drawn to supernatural/paranormal things and different spiritualities, even if I don't particularly believe in them I still feel a sense of wonder and curiosity.
- I have a creative side and an imagination. I've always enjoyed things like daydreaming and fantasies, writing, photography. I can't draw or paint at all but I do like the joy of writing and imagining various worlds and stuff. I also like video games such as Simcity and the like and the sandbox modes for freedom to create cities.
- There have been times when I get quite bored and I try to find things to interest me and to keep my mind entertained.
- I really hate liars and lying in general but if it's necessary, like telling a white lie then I guess I can forgive, given the situation.
- I hate any kind of violence or acts of cruelty.
- I really can't stand self-absorbed or people without any kind of self-awareness, or narcissists.
- I'm often aloof and very distant from people, even with those close to me; close in relationship and as in close proximity. I think that I'm naturally a very private person and I naturally keep people at a distance, mentally and often physically.
- I am prone to depression and anxiety, socially and generally. I have found that I am oddly selective about those who I am comfortable around and not socially anxious with. I can't really explain it.
- There have been times that I've had emotions or general feelings that I can't really put any words to other than 'positive', 'neutral' or 'negative'.
These are some of the traits that I currently recognize, maybe there are more but I haven't picked up on them.
A bit more about myself is that I'm not a part of any religion and I've never been Christened or whatever the ritual is for making people a part of each religion is. I was never brought up in any religion and pretty much all my family are non-religious/atheists or agnostics I think but I can't really speak for them as I'm not entirely sure on exactly what each family believes. I'd say that I'm an agnostic myself in the sense of not really knowing if there is a god/deity/higher power or not, or at least I'm not the one for current or past concepts of them and I do think that it's a natural part of the human mind to anthropomorphize things and that shows in people's general concept and idea of gods and higher beings/power and I feel that a lot of religions seem to be very earth- and human-centric but that's just my opinion and I really don't know what any god or higher power might be like and I guess there's an idea on that as there people.
Even though I'm not religious but I do have a strange fascination for them, especially ones outside the normal realms of spirituality and I have done a little reading on other religions and new-age stuff and it generally interests me. I'm not saying that I necessarily believe in any of it. It just fascinates me when hearing about various legends and myths. I don't know why it's just something that interests me generally, maybe it just stirs up my imagination.