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An Apology and Explaination

By michelle, 2018-12-16

I apologize for any harm I caused you. It was not my intention to do so. I am not bi-polar but suffer from severe and long lasting PTSD. During our conversations, I experienced a shock and was having flashbacks. Not to place any blame but I was triggered by your words of suicide attempts, which was what I was thinking about but have never acted on them, ever. I wanted to speak to you of how you dealt with your attempts or idealization of suicide. For me it was also uncanny when you mentioned the neighbor's loud music which I had been dealing with nightly from my son all week long until 4am or so.

Again, I was triggered. PTSD is not a mental illness but rather soul loss or fracture due to trauma. Mine never responded to drug therapy which is more the norm than not. I also have high sensitivity to all medications. 

The ongoing trauma I experience is the result of others' depraved and evil actions, one who meant to kill me.

The premise which views post-traumatic stress as a disorder rests on the false belief that people are normally capable of enduring severe trauma or stress without lasting, deep and impairing mental and behavioral struggles. Yet as holocaust survivor and psychologist, Viktor Frankl wrote:

An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior."

Again, forgive me for any distress I caused you. I will not burden you with any news of my ordeal. I do wish that you had not spoken to our mutual friend. In regards to that, I naively thought to trust you; but as you said, I do not know you. 

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