Just Stevie

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Just Stevie
@just-stevie • last year

I am not sure if I am putting the response in the right place
It looks like the site has changed since I was here last

This did turn into a Novel It's tremendously long and probably redundant My memory 🧠 is shot too!
If you don’t want to dive in I totally understand You can just hit delete 😉
It actually was therapeutic 😁

Hi Karen it's been awhile Good to hear back from you
Thank you for your much thought out reply
It's REALLY hard to explain any of this because I can't explain it to myself There is nothing to compare or relate to
There is SO much involved because it redifines itself and multi-tasks

There are many parts to whatever this is I have no imagination so I don't belief I could manufacture the details and I never know what's going to happen next but I constantly challenge myself and wonder But it would be impossible
I am going to thank you for reading 📚 and caring in advance because this will be novel worthy I always try to give people details because I feel I have to create a mental picture Well actually I TRY to be brief but that never happens I really appreciate your taking the time and it feels so much better to have someone who understands So if nothing else I will try to make it entertaining 😉😅 I'm kind of snarky I take things very seriously but at the same time I keep it light and airy if that makes sense

This all started out of the blue totally contrary to who I was and the way I  processed thought
It Started with nightly visits from Ghosts? I called them visitors It was fun but emotional I never saw the same one twice nor were they familiar No verbal communication
I would sense them and wake up I knew I wasnt asleep because I would get up¹ and walk around the house and actually "pinch myself" 🙄

At some point I started mind traveling I can't remember how or why It was fun and interesting It got to be a little more intense because I felt a man was taking advantage of females It wasn't normal stuff It was more like "Twilight Zone Meets Pod people"
Being the Champion of the down trodden I had to stick my nose in Eventually I challenged him to show me what was going on He took me on a tour That was fun too It was like a Disney ride I felt the movement and sensations of the ride as it went switching directions and levels He tired of the game stopped ✋ and then at some point I am thinking ergo the man's face
What I see when I close my eyes is levels of colors behind maybe like a black hairnet that change Red bad Purple the highest and I think the next would be up & out Originally he presented himself as my grandmother but he could morph to any one One time he showed his real face which was evil and menacing he (the face) comes in & out from all directions I can send him away by averting or opening my eyes but I can also send him away with verbal hand signals or telecommunication He is sneaky as he comes and goes always tries to put his mouth on mine
The only way I see him is coming through the net like covering across the colors Starts with red usually  but sometimes it tries to trick me with other colors especially purple The other  colors go quickly back to red and then I am out of there

The other part is when this netting starts to crawl across the walls Eventually fill the entire room
It can break into pieces or shapes while never losing the space they occupy They can stretch out like a cobweb and attach itself to a thing or person especially my husband They make the bed look (only to me) like it's moving sort of like rolling waves or something crawling under the covers

I used to think I could make it go away with light I would leave the TV on all night I came to know they were there during lighting and day light I caught them in a sunbeam going across the room If you ever noticed (in reality) dust will float around on the sunbeam and you think OMG😲 I am breathing this stuff 🤧 and never knew it
but I digress...
So what I saw when I actually looked was more like very fine patterned plastic wrap all but invisible It was always there around me Then another eureka moment in the Opticians (recently) chair having problems with close up reading that the lens couldnt correct my vision I realized it was because I was actually looking through the filmy transparency that surrounds me

The third part is when it's dark or mostly  
there becomes what appears to be a wispy curtain like throw over some or all of the furniture and/or walls The same light burgundy colored pattern only solid I can put my hand through it and then I can no longer see it
Early on it had formed in front of my bedroom sliding glass door that has vertical blinds Curiousity got the best of me and I walked through not the verticals or glass just the curtain
I was standing at the edge of the door 🚪 opening on a concrete ledge on a 2nd story as I looked out I saw a large wood fenced backyard surrounded by tall Pine trees 🌲 and a thick covering of lush very green grass It was beautiful However since I was on the edge of a long drop I backed out through the curtain Then it's gone

Whatever this phenomenon is it reads my mind I try to ignore and it mostly works however if I carelessly think I haven't noticed it acting up in several days or indicate in any way I might do or say something to someone You guessed it Party time it acts up big time
Everything is covered and distorted in several rooms The worst or so I thought  was the master bedroom down a short hallway to the bathroom I literally have to feel my way past 2 walkin closets and upon entering the bathroom feel for the full length cabinets on the right then just around the corner is the potty 😀room if I go too far I hit a wall and then a opening to a double walk in shower I can see absolutely none of that I bounce off the folding closet doors usually try to turn to quick and hit sold wood cabinets ouch! 🥴 I feel for the molding around the door to walk through It should be easy breezy but I get totally disoriented still having to find the wall switch to turn on a light yeah! I made it without my husband seeing me or hearing me run into things

So now I'll get back to the "or so the "worst or so I thought" When coming out of my office I usually turn right stove light is on so it's ok but last night I came out and was going to make a slight left then forward to be in the living room I didn't quite swing far enough left and ran into the back of the loveseat So I know to go a little further before I turn Oops too soon again hit the glass end table ow! 🤕 Now I can make a right and the loveseat will be there Ah but I again turn too soon hit the table this time knocking over a vase luckily it was a small one In the other room this time husband hears👂it hit the table "what was that?" "I bumped the table and the vase fell over" "How did you do that?"  " I don't know" Close one! Seriously though He would be sick with worry Want me to see a Dr...
I mean if I am coming out of the office look to the right (kitchen) I can not see him standing there Of course he can see me so steady as she goes

About 2-3 years ago my daughter-in-law's mother had a stroke There is a 6 hr time difference between the two it's that far She flew out there Her mother never regained consciousness and had to be taken off life support She took it very badly My husband and I had been staying with our son He was a mess too and he couldn't go to California with his wife so he worried about her as well anyway... Off track again

Right after her mother had officially died I was laying in bed - middle of the night I woke up her mother came out of the closet or should I say through the closet

I saw her in her entirety I could describe her hair what she was wearing Mostly what she wore was a big satisfied smile and she didn't have a care Well she really didn't have a care 😏 She looked at peace
She never saw me just walked past
I wanted so badly to tell my daughter-in-law about it but I knew she wouldn't believe and couldn't handle it She needed to know It would have helped her but if it is not accepted it helps no one

Right now I am in the bedroom Since I have been typing I didn't notice it was dark As I look up I see I'm surrounded by web net whatever I can tell this is not

About a yr and a half ago She woke up not feeling well My son went to get her something cool Within minutes she had a heart attack Same scenario as her mother. They were able to restart her heart The hospital wrapped her in ice

This where my crazy kicks in
After a day they wanted to turn off life support We said we had to wait until her other son got there The next day we went to see her I was desperate
These colors changes I go throRight after her mother had officially diedugh is like staring into an abyss with levels I put my hands on her and just busted through telling who or what ever don't get in my way I searched all over got through a few layers but I couldn't get to purple (her favorite color) I thought if I could reach her then I could bring her back I moved my hands from place to place and concentrated so hard but I couldn't find her Even my husband understood what I was doing and said I know how hard you tried 

So we all went back that night to say good bye At that point I realized she was already dead (Later found out the doctor had pronounced her the night before but didn't tell us) I still wanted to reach her I guess to be sure she was alright so I tried to connect again My son was next to me nearest her head She is laying on her back arms at her side a sheet covering her body
As I watched her I saw her hand move I asked did anyone see that or was it just me They all agreed they had Her hand contined very slowly to bring it out from under the sheet bending her arm she reach for my son He said "what do I do" I replied "take her hand" and he did He could feel her love as she took his hand for the last time in their 20 yrs of marriage Then I saw angels? guides? whatever in billowy purple cloaks move in and swirl around her The last trace of doubt I still might have had vanished I do have powers

The point to this story is I knew I was playing with fire when I stepped into that world I was right Now I have a more determined slightly aggressive force to deal with I repeatedly say I want them to leave I wil never give into them (curious at times of course they know)
But I won't There has never been any fear of any of it and as much as I hate this I don't feel anger I actually think they need me for some rèason and I don't think it's for this world 🤷‍♀️

It keeps getting harder to deal with it and I think this force is sapping me of strength not to mention sleep plus I feel different inside I can't really relate to life It seems primitive Although I do not know of any other "life" I am still an Empath but more reserved

The other night with the love seat bit I had to leave the room because the shapes were closing in on me I felt an intense tremulous going through me almost electrified and a gravity pull
They have done this before just not on that level!
My husband and I were staying with my son He was pretty upset plus his wife was flying to California alone so he was very worried about that
Right after her mother had officially died
I was in the bedroom middle of night I walk up & see her mother walk out of the closet or I should say through the closet door in mid air because of course everyone knows dead people don't walk on the floor 🙄😅
I saw her in her entirety - solid looking I could describe her hair her clothes but mostly there was her big smile She was truly happy relaxed content peaceful She had a determined walk She walked on past me never losing sight of where she was headed
I wanted so much to tell her about her mother but I couldn't she wouldn't believe me and would be more upset

Here's a prime example:
I am in the bedroom since I have been typing I never realized how dark it was in there I got up and the net/ web was crawling all over the (whatever allows them to crawl separate & build) everything They know I hate the very black very thick webs so of of course it's game on They tried to intimidate me but I ignore (honestly they all creep me out but the thick ones the most) I pick up my phone and half of what I typed They obviously were quite pleased with themselves because they turned  sparkly & iridescent
But Ah ha I was able to get a good bit background clipboard Now they don't know what to do