Coping with overwhelming emotions
Anybody, empathic or not, will be attracted to Narcs if their opposite parent was one. This is entirely subconscious of course, since on the surface that is the last kind of person think we want. We are more likely to be able to put up with what we are used to, and we are drawn to try to fix that first relationship with someone else.
It sounds like you know all the symptoms and signs of a Narc, and that can help you to avoid them. I avoided marrying one, but my FIL and BIL were both full blown ones, who would have been diagnosed with the actual Personality Disorder had they gone for help, but the moon would turn to green cheese before a Narc would voluntarily see a therapist!
I am going to recommend a video that really helped me to accept these imprinted tendencies from childhood and to deal with it all better. The video is on YouTube and is by Psychologist Alain de Botton, called "Why You Will Marry The Wrong Person". There are also many specialists in dealing with Narcs on YT, and I think my favorite is probably Joanna Kujath. Sam Vankin is also worth watching, since he admits to being a full blown Narc who is blowing the whistle on them, while getting some of the attention he badly needs from his videos at the same time.
There are many people here who have had Narc partners and I hope more come and reply to you.....you are definitely not alone!