When you pick up on self-deception, how do you handle it?
Thank you very much for your opinion.
I agree when it comes to the small stuff in life and it's mostly small stuff we all deal with, but it reminds me of the Law of Attraction, which my former church teaches. I see the belief in not interfering due to karma, carried to it's end point, as justification for walking past starving people in the street, and going home to meditate about how spiritual they are in a fancy house in their $200 yoga pants, which is why I quit my church. I am not saying that you do that! I am saying that I see others doing that and it really scares me about this way of looking at things. It is spiritual bypassing.
I totally applaud you for letting your kids fall down and pick themselves up from all the screw ups that teach them who they are and how to function. They will be good adults, not snowflakes who cannot handle the real world. Bravo to you!
My problem with ignoring what I pick up is with the really serious issues, and I take those case by case, like:
1) A friend of mine is literally starving and going w/o any heat, because most of her hard-earned money goes to a religious cult she was brainwashed into. She is a superb human being, but gullible with low self confidence, so was easily sucked in, and if anyone criticizes this cult, they are ordered to cut them out of their lives, so the only way I can ever be there for her is to shut up about it, and it breaks my heart. In this case, I agree about not saying a thing to warn her, since that would do more harm than good, but boy, is it tough.
2) A friend of my husband's who was clearly very depressed had all the signs of impending suicide, and though I was a therapist and maybe could have changed his mind, however small the chance, my husband told me not to interfere. Three weeks later he committed suicide. I'll never forgive myself for not speaking up in this case.
3) A lovely woman at church whom I could "see" had liver cancer. I did not tell her for fear of looking like a nut and because I did not know her well at all, and she died almost one year later of liver cancer. I will always regret this one too.
I was looking for criteria for how others handle this. For me, it matters a lot how serious the issue is, but not so much how close I am to the person. If I see someone may have cancer, I feel just as much obligation to tell them whether I know them or not. I am wondering how you all feel about this, so thank you very much for your honest opinion....my husband agrees with you 100%.