Forum Activity for @tonyrn

TonyRN
@tonyrn
05/21/19 07:09:04AM
17 posts

Feeling emotional energy through movies, media, etc


Empath

I tend to watch movies/shows with grit, and often violence.  I'm always writhing and wincing when I see things on TV.  The movie Misery I thought was magnificent, I could feel everything, it should be my least favorite film, but it's so well done I could taste the emotion in the room. I play violent vid games more than watching TV and some of those have the same effect of pulling one in.  Difficult emotional moments on film do get me, as opposed to before, but also the positive things too.  Just as I feel the soul crushing cringe of a neck shot (Dexter) I can feel the warm fuzzy glow of sitting on the deck in the sun grilling meats and listening to nature.  When I see someone riding motorcycle on film I can feel the road and the bike just by watching.

I used to love horror movies, most of them are poorly done so that they really elicit no emotional response outside laughter. A good horror movie is something that should be treated carefully, a few that are so well done can be quite difficult to watch.  Recently I watched a few episodes of Drawn Together and I laughed so hard I felt great for the rest of the day, and my sides still hurt from laughing so hard.  Emotion through film is definitely real, and the good news is it seems to be a double edged sword, it can work with just as against.  There are a few choice actors/actresses that are really that good. I think some of them actually put themselves in unpleasant places to get and stay in character to deliver performances that do reach us as described.


updated by @tonyrn: 05/21/19 07:17:54AM
TonyRN
@tonyrn
05/21/19 06:34:37AM
17 posts

Am I an Empath? how definitive are the online tests?


Empath

@snap

That is an interesting way to look at it. I have had an opportunity to try some of the volume techniques I read about on the help page.  I can see where it might work but I guess I need more practice.  I had to go to town during rush hour and rescue a car and tried everything I knew, including Ativan.  I'm still not there, I guess it will take a great deal more practice to get the hang of it. I can become a wreck just anticipating a trip into town a day ahead.  I then have ample time to dread it, it's probably worse to know ahead of time if I must go, but I have to get psyched up for it or it just wont happen.

I have been using avoidance to the point that my earning potential has suffered. It's all I have that works until I master some of these other techniques.  Inward focus is another thing I can try.  I'm probably very lucky to have only a couple times a week (or less) where I need to be around others,  I strive for minimal time with Joe Q. Public.  At this point it seems like a daunting task to reach a place where these coping techniques become effective but it's nice to have things to try.


updated by @tonyrn: 05/21/19 06:36:56AM
TonyRN
@tonyrn
05/08/19 05:15:57AM
17 posts

Am I an Empath? how definitive are the online tests?


Empath

Simplicity for me means I've cleared stuff out of my life that doesn't need to be there. Complicated people included.  Mostly it was little stuff like zeroing out lines of credit, elimination of car/bike/truck payments. Cut cords so elec and internet only household bills.  Just simple stuff, I have so much less to worry about and do and it does help to clear my head. I'm still gradually getting rid of stuff, decluttering and simplifying every aspect of life I can think of. The cumulative effect is really something worthwhile.

Simplicity is not always convenient, but usually more so.  For me the advantages are vast and I'm seeing very little disadvantage.  I have a long history of making things harder than they have to be, this is a nice change and it really does make a huge difference.  Simplicity is much more affordable too.

Coping is an ongoing thing, but simplifying has made a significant difference for me. It seems like time to learn some other coping methods as well.  I found a way into the help page here so I'll go and give that a good read. I had to use a less secure browser but it will get me in.

Sorry about my delays all, sometimes I have to wait for privacy and internet at the same time. Rural internet is lots of things, but fast and reliable it is not.

Thank you, everyone helping, so very appreciated!

TonyRN
@tonyrn
05/05/19 08:12:02AM
17 posts

Am I an Empath? how definitive are the online tests?


Empath

Any coffee can wreak havoc, the stronger the worse.  I've probably dialed coffee back 95% since my peak (1-2 latte'/day, often 4-5 shots each).  I also figured out I was blowing $350+ each month on coffee.  I still drink coffee occasionally because it is part of the ritual we have when we do go into the hills or into town, but I'm down to 2-5x/month if counting drip coffee.

Excessive coffee (used to be a regularity for me) could make getting to sleep harder but I was still managing by not drinking too late in the day. After Fibro it's pretty harsh, not the same experience at all. If done to excess it's more like a bad trip and less like pleasant cup/s of alertness.  

Music is one of my main coping mechanisms.  Lots of folky classic rock but mellow classical and jazz now make the roundup.  I love me some country but I think it died with Cash. Modern country grates on my nerves the same way pop/top40/hiphop does.  The right music is a great way to shut off the outside world and get some calm back.  I have always loved music, even as a youth.

One other thing I did that resulted in less stress at home is I fired Direct TV, aside from Prime, Netflix and stand alone internet I have nothing. The lack of advertising has been amazing. Simplicity is amazing!  I guess I never realized what a profound effect removing annoyances like adverts has had until I'm in someone elses truck or house.

I guess I was looking for ways to cope, just didnt know what I was trying to cope with until now.

TonyRN
@tonyrn
05/03/19 05:21:43PM
17 posts

Am I an Empath? how definitive are the online tests?


Empath

@moonshine

With the Fibro, the effects of the coffee are amplified somewhat, but the frazzled nerves are quite amplified and the feeling lasts a while.  I love Turkish coffee, that stuff gawtz backbone! Also, your fav choices, very sound! I also ask the strength, if I'm not getting at least 3 shots in a 16 oz drink then I pass, If I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it right haha.  I drink coffee now only on occasion, and I pay the price every time.

Fibro seems to come in flares, so if I'm not in a flare I can get away with it. If I am in a flare then the coffee is a hard no, the price is just too high.  If I'm in a flare I'm probably uncomfortable enough to not drive unless I reeeeally have to.

As I have been reading, I see others with Fibro also have trouble with coffee, not only as it pertains to sleep disorders, but to just how ragged out it can make one feel. I guess the best way to say it is now I'm far more easily "strung out" on the coffee, if that makes sense.

If I'm somewhere I know I'm going to get a damn good and proper latte' then Im in, regardless of the price to be paid.  The Fibro seems to have just enough hooks in just the right places to be a real problem.

TonyRN
@tonyrn
05/01/19 04:42:32AM
17 posts

Am I an Empath? how definitive are the online tests?


Empath

@moonshine

Coffee has been one of lifes simple pleasures for as long as I can recall, but it works badly with the Fibro, or at least I noticed it's amplified effect after the fibro onset.  Anything more than half a cup is gonna be a problem so I generally just pass on it.

As far as handicapped, I know I'm socially handicapped, that goes way back.  Dealing with people is a protocol many have that I'm simply missing. Even when I try I just come up short, I'm not angry about it anymore, it just is.  It's been inconvenient but all things considered I'll take the social ineptitude, as long as I can still see, walk and wont die early then I feel gratitude above all else.  All that I have been learning lately just makes so much sense.  Learning about Empathic traits has answered so many questions for me.  Finally some of the pieces are starting to fit.

@hop-daddy

I'm checking into high and low vibration, its the first I'm hearing of this.  The more I read the more I see parallels between Empaths and Fibromyalgia.

TonyRN
@tonyrn
04/26/19 03:50:27PM
17 posts

Am I an Empath? how definitive are the online tests?


Empath

@womanwhowalks

I have noticed the as time passes I get more sensitive. EMFs are an interesting concept, and it also makes sense. I'm ready to try some different things, things I would have dismissed before.  When I was young I always knew I had "pieces missing".  I was always different and socially handicapped but never knew why. I just honestly thought I was broken in some way.  Even though now is fairly late in the game I'm thrilled to be here, and to have some real understanding of what the heck I'm made out of. Thank you for the EMF mention and relating your experience, it gives me more ideas.

@moonshine

Yup, that is me with the Fibro. Also a close family member suffers quite a bit with it. I'm not real sure I experience it much differently than her, we both got it and many of the symptoms are similar. Mine manifested later in life after a shoulder injury that kept me pinned for a couple years in intractable pain. Dr explained why I had this new rush of symptoms after the frozen shoulder cleared up on both sides. He explained that I've likely always had dormant Fibro, but often a physically or emotionally traumatizing experience will wake it right up if it's there in a person. He treats others in my family and is well aware of my family Hx of Fibro. 

As far as loosing chunks of conversations, I totally get that. I had a conversation with my psych prof about it. Her explanation is that people can only speak so many WPM, but we can think many times that which means as someone is speaking to us we have other ideas and threads running concurrently. I'm a big daydreamer so I can be sent down a completely different road by one or two well placed words.  I find keeping conversations brief helps, also I have a pretty good idea for those that are not compatible conversationalists.  There are many folks I really respect and like that I cant talk with for long because my brain is all over the place. I then feel like I'm being unfair to them. When I'm talking to others and they wane I can feel it, so I quick adapt, but I don't hold it against them, I understand quite well.  It's not just you by any means, I feel it and I see it in others besides myself too. I was diagnosed with severe social anxiety just recently,  just before learning that being an Empath may play a big roll in that. That anxiety (and accompanying racing thoughts) can make listening a very hard to master social skill.  This existed in me long before the Fibro Dx.

@cheshire-cat

I love this info, it's about how often I'm up on an average night.  it's enlightening to see that Fibro has a row of reserved parking here.  I'm probably beyond mild, right now I would find it impossible to hold a job as I never know when flares are coming. Some of them are so bad that I'l be in tears just from the feeling of my clothing on my body. I've tried everything I can think of to sleep, not just pharmaceutical interventions but everything.  Now here on this forum I've been given some other ideas and so much perspective.

" I firmly believe that learning what sort of environment empaths need to live in and doing your best to make that happen for you will greatly help your fibro." this encompasses exactly where I am. Now learning how the two Dx interact, there is a lot of overlap.  I know the sleep is critical. So far my coping mechanism is to cycle through sleep aids and techniques hoping to get the right one for the right time. Anything I do will loose effectiveness within a couple nights so I have to shift often.  I'm a real believer in the psycho-semantic link.  This is still met with skepticism in some corners of health care but I'm an avid believer in the holistic approach.  I figured this out when I realized that simply laughing with patients and bringing a little levity seems to often have a fairly profound effect on the physical ailment and any comorbidity.  More fantastic info. Thank you!

@hop-daddy

1.  Makes sense, as far as I know I get folks nearby.  I get mighty anxious when I'm near many.  Maybe when I remove some dulling factors I'll see more.  I have read a lot here bout how things like sleep aids can dampen the empathic attributes. I guess none of that helps one realize the full extent of their empathic abilities.

2.  Total night owl here, and you are correct on all counts in my experience.  Also with the caffeine. I LOVE THE STUFF! But even a couple cups in the morning will keep me awake at night. Since Fibro my caffeine tolerance has crashed. One delectable latte' can destroy my nerves for at least two days.  I always thought I liked to shop at night and work evening shifts was just because I never adjusted to be functional in crowds.  I guess that is still true but at least now there is a plausible explanation for it.

3, 4.  Agreed, seems to be exactly what I experience. Also agreed that I must focus on how to deal with the energy.  All that energy is just overwhelming, I should not be so happy to figure out why I am this way but it's pretty darn hard to compensate for an issue that one does not even understand. I've been thinking about some of the things mentioned earlier in this thread about crystals, stones or other shielding methods.

I only go to town 1-2x/week and that is overwhelming. If I had to show up for work every day I would probably melt down within a week.  Just the traffic would lay me out. I held it together somehow before, but after the Fibro onset things became very unpredictable and holding a job is quite difficult.  I'm optimistic that I'll get this under control at some point soon. I'm aching to get back to work, just not aching to interact with others so much.

Thanks again to all who have shared.  This has been very enlightening. I feel like I have some understanding of why I am the way I am. With that and all the suggestions here I think I stand a great chance of regaining some functionality.  You all rock! this has been infinitely helpful and I suspect it still will be. Seems I'm at the beginning of a long road, but I'm cool with that, at least I have some idea which way to go.

I cant thank you all enough.

TonyRN
@tonyrn
04/23/19 08:20:20PM
17 posts

Am I an Empath? how definitive are the online tests?


Empath

@hop-daddy

My first reflex is to push it away and just remain skeptical, but I sort of figured this wasn't one of those things I was going to be able to get away from.  Once I read the descriptions and traits of an Empath I knew it was innate and there was no getting away from it.

I'm anxious to turn down the volume, where I sleep there is no noise or neighbors.  The loudest thing I hear at night are the owls.  I dont know why I'm waking up at night and unable to go back to sleep, what could I be picking up out here in the sticks? Maybe residual volume.

Is it silly to think that I might be picking up something from prey animals?  There are so many delicious things made out of meat in these woods.  We have some impressive predators too.

I've been trying to follow that link but I cant get there. I think my browser sees a tracker and stops it from loading.  I'll play with the script blocker tomorrow and see if I can see whats actually stopping it from working.

TonyRN
@tonyrn
04/23/19 09:07:01AM
17 posts

Am I an Empath? how definitive are the online tests?


Empath

The skepticism is wearing off some, it just makes too much sense to deny.  It will be interesting how this morphs now that I'm aware of it.  I'm still not sure if I want to muffle it or see what happens if I explore it.

I've tried I think all the OTC sleep aids. I always think I've got something that finally works, but they loose effectiveness pretty quickly, usually within a week or so.  The Ambien knocks my ass out but it doesn't keep me out, which is the problem I have with virtually anything for sleep I have tried.  Amitriptyline does still work if I take enough of it, but the next few days after using that and I'm assured complete and total exhaustion, not enough energy to do anything. After a week or so of not sleeping I'll sometimes bring that out and knock myself out but good.

I was doing alright until then.  It's hard to sleep with the flight of ideas and racing thoughts that just wont stop.  I had some trouble sleeping before, but with the Fibro onset it became a real issue, and remains so today.  Maybe some grounding is going to be necessary.

TonyRN
@tonyrn
04/22/19 11:42:04AM
17 posts

Am I an Empath? how definitive are the online tests?


Empath

What helps with the sleep?

Do some of these grounding techniques help? I thought Ambien would work but it is surprisingly ineffective given how many folks I know that swear by it.

TonyRN
@tonyrn
04/20/19 08:56:49AM
17 posts

Am I an Empath? how definitive are the online tests?


Empath

@hop-daddy

Thanks for the link, it was good reading. Claircognizant sounds pretty close. I tend to get flashes of stuff that I cant interpret but it leaves me with a clear gut feeling that I have come to know not to ignore.  It took me a long time to realize it is dangerous to disregard a gut feeling or a red flag, it's just to easy to rationalize a bad idea.

TonyRN
@tonyrn
04/19/19 07:17:13AM
17 posts

Am I an Empath? how definitive are the online tests?


Empath

I was Dx with ODD when I was but a wee lad, maybe 5-ish.  Mom took me to a leading child psychologist way back then because apparently I was not an easy child.  I do believe the defiance is innate, it goes back to my earliest childhood memories.  I think these other factors you mentioned keep it alive and well.

What your saying, I know it's true and believe me sir, I have to bite my lip plenty!  I wont lie, I'm quickly annoyed by kids but I care deeply about their well being. I had to teach mine shame, loyalty, honesty, promptness, integrity and kindness, and give them the knowledge that they will witness a disturbing lack of it in the real world.  The old narrative left the building with Elvis. I don't like it but that is the reality. 

When I was a child my favorite toys were Legos (I still have totes of them), anything under the tree best be Legos or have wheels. I was not even 10 when I could identify just about any car part, I could see the headlights way back in the dark and accurately identify make and model. I had to take stuff apart to see how it all worked and always loved getting my hands dirty. I could explain the difference between 4 stroke and 2, and how a rotary engine worked long before I was old enough to drive. I'm not claiming to be a master tech but I certainly hold my own. I guess now I know that there is a word for it.

Machines and animals I get, I'm quite comfortable around either. It's people that keep me guessing.

TonyRN
@tonyrn
04/18/19 06:59:04PM
17 posts

Am I an Empath? how definitive are the online tests?


Empath

I had turned wrenches and operated a tow truck before becoming a nurse, I was alone in the truck, made lots of tips and met lots of ladies. It was great! During the rotations I had done in nursing school the long term care rotations were easily my favorite. Always more rewarding then stressful/taxing. Those patients that lived through the dirty 30s are generally humble and much less entitled.  Hospice is something I would LOVE to do again, and long term care are completely different and a great match for what I have to offer. Generally these facilities are more relaxed and a better fit.

My last few years as a nurse were private-duty 1099, much better. When I worked in facilities (one exception) I had to deal with a lot of drama, smack talking, back biting, power struggles, politics and enough venom and vitriol to intoxicate a mature rattle snake.  I'm used to coworkers having ups and downs but nothing like this, ever.  If I had a few more years left I would go to law school and become a mens/fathers rights advocate, it would also be a fantastic way to help children without having to deal with them. I think that was my actual calling and I missed it.

I'm happy to say that a lot of the Empath information I find pretty intuitive, I feel as though I'm understanding it well since it's something that makes huge chunks of my life and self make a whole lot more sense.  I'm still learning about specifics and variants of Empaths, I'm not psychic, I cant see or feel ghosts.  I think I read about "precognitive" that fits fairly well, along with dysfunctional.  I'm ready to understand grounding and mechanisms. 

Would the fact that I'm highly defiant tell us anything about any of this? That goes back to early childhood and still thrives in probably unhealthy proportions.

Do I need to narrow down what kind of Empath I am to properly formulate the best coping mechanisms? 

Is it possible that I have some ability that I have no idea about, possibly muffled by my healthy skepticism of most things?  Any way to tell if that may be the case? 

Once again, thank you.

TonyRN
@tonyrn
04/18/19 05:58:46AM
17 posts

Am I an Empath? how definitive are the online tests?


Empath

@zacharias

I can relate to so much of this. Especially the responsibility of friends, it's a challenge. I've had to adjust expectations not only of friends but family. People are quite a bit less disappointing when expectations are nil.  I've also had to cut out anyone that brings drama, that included several family members as well as friends. This has been a happy experience, not hard or difficult.  Likewise I've had to look at myself and make sure I'm not guilty of the very things that drive me nuts about people, some adjustments had to be made.

Sanctuary time is critical too, I'm good to go to town 2-3x/week max and I've gotta keep it under 2 hrs, and outside rush hours.  I do live in one of those towns that seems more toxic than most, lots of road rage and public rudeness. I can melt down in traffic pretty easily so I gotta watch it. I have no coping mechanism for that other than avoidance and a bit of extra HP.  For each trip to town I need at least a couple days to recoup.  After reading all about what an Empath goes through I'm pretty sure it's been with me as long as I've been alive, but the Fibro is relatively recent and it seems that the two have some sort of cumulative effect. 

When you say weed works I know that you are right.  I started using it to treat Fibro for lack of any of the indicated meds being effective at anything other than profound side effects.  I used to smoke back in the 80s as a youth, then I quit for many years, a friend that could see I was suffering dropped off a little care package and while it's not a magic bullet it is by a landslide the most effective thing I have tried for the Fibro, I was already well into my 40s by then.  I does seem to work to dampen the people pressure.  I think the empathic traits go back to my earliest memory, and maybe thats why the cannabis was so effective before. It's pretty well known that cannabis treats Fibro, but what a boost that it helped with this empathic thing that I never realized I had.

BTW, I really like the cave idea.  While there seem to be some band-aids for this the only true treatment I'm aware of so far is avoidance.  Not an option for everyone I know but it's doing the trick for me.  I felt so good when I went to CO, I had to get a long ways south of Denver/Springs area for the air to clear, but when I got close to Alamosa and along the extreme southern edge of CO it felt like home.  Even Cripple Creek, stunningly beautiful, had to many people, but I wanted to see it being a fan of "The Band" I felt I owed it to myself to have a peek while I was close. Folks in southern CO seem somehow compatible with me. I plan to go stay in Ft Garland for awhile in the next few weeks and get a better feel for the community and the NM high desert.  Wanna to make sure I get the right acreage.

If I may be so bold there is one thing that jumps off the page to me, you seem to experience Houston the way I experienced Seattle. I moved some 50 miles away to rural Snohomish County but I had to move again in a couple years. The masses caught up with me in no time flat.  Are you sure your far enough away from Houston? I still had toxicity from Seattle and I was nearly 2 hrs away. If I even see a major city on TV my blood runs cold and I have to look away.  It does rack my nerves, even if just on TV.  

When I read your last two paragraphs I had to wonder if your still too close to a metro area, I could feel the words as I was reading them.  If I may be so bold, the things you describe seem all to familiar to me.  I had to get much further from Seattle before I could stop feeling the effects of it.  Of course then I had no idea bout being an Empath, at least now I have some understanding of why even one county over was not nearly far enough.  Seattle has an overwhelmingly high-strung, uptight displacement that seemed to spread all over the western part of the state, very toxic indeed.  I seemed to instinctively know that I had to go... far.  It cut my earning potential in half but was well worth it.  I honestly believe had I stayed I would probably be in jail now. 

@hop-daddy

Now that I'm reading and understanding I think it's innate and was fully awake throughout my life.  The issues have been long standing, it really does explain so much, so well.  I didn't figure there was an off switch but I had to ask.  Aside from a finely-tuned commercial grade BS detector this has not been a good time.  In retrospect I think this has helped me to be a better nurse when working hospice and long term care.  Boy it would be nice to have a toggle switch with this! I think I need to read more about grounding, sounds like it might help.

Thank you both!

TonyRN
@tonyrn
04/15/19 08:41:32AM
17 posts

Am I an Empath? how definitive are the online tests?


Empath

I never had a clue, at least not one that I recognized.  I always knew I was different, a misfit among misfits even.  My mother told me that even as a small child I would pretty much melt down in crowded places.  I'm not sure my aversion to crowds and most people has an etiology in possibly being an Empath, but it is starting to make plenty of sense. All I have recently read suggest that there is a probable/likely link.  I'm 50-ish now and It's only just very recently started to figure it out. During adolescence I just though I was a loner, a non-people person.  I highly suspect I would still be an introverted loaner even if not Empathic.

I experience "people pressure" when I'm in public. I explain this to those close to me as the feeling of a deep dive to the bottom of a lake. I feel the pressure on my body and my head, it just continually presses until said pressure is actually audible. The deeper I go the light fades and is replaced by cold murky depths and I can feel the pressure in the center of my brain.  Being in public is like that, there is always a basil pressure but throw in a few extra people or some mild/moderate traffic for maximum effect.  It takes days to recover from that. 

I relate to wanting to go live in a cave.  I was born in a horribly overcrowded city in SoCal, I was maybe 6-8 before I realized that this was not where I belonged and not much longer before we bolted to rural South Dakota.  Western SD was not so overcrowded back in the late 70s. When I was a younger man (1989 ish) I moved to a Metro area on the west coast to take advantage of an opportunity. It was not a mistake, the diversity was fantastic but the crowds were soul crushing.  So you have moved past the part of wanting to live in a cave, but I'm still there. In fact when this last snow melts I'll be back on my bike headed back to southern CO/Northern NM again looking for remote off-grid acreage along the high desert.  I've always known I would end up off-grid at some point. Thankfully I can use my RN to earn in places where jobs are scarce and land is cheap. I will likely capitalize off of someone else that bought land to live off-grid, but didn't do the math first.

I'm grateful that you took the time to share, I can relate to a whole lot of what you wrote.  I need massive amounts of alone time to detox from people. I'm very happy to be alone. It's not painful or distressing in any way. I'm ready to accept it and learn to live with it, but my goals are not to have many friends or be able too live in a populated place, rather make it tolerable when I do have to go to town or take a job/assignment. When I'm out riding the plains I experience true inner peace and tranquility, an ease and comfort that I rarely find outside nature. The Fibromyalgia has been making working extremely difficult so between these two issues I have some sorting to do.  At last I should say that I'm grateful to not be terminally ill and I have been blessed in many ways in life, so I'm hoping I don't sound like I'm playing a victim or whining needlessly. On the contrary these sets of issues I have are pretty light and I'm grateful for what I have and what I've been spared that others have endured.

I guess now I should continue to look at some of the tools and learn more. I'm not able to open some of the resource pages here, probably a script that my browser objects to, it's pretty strict in that regard.  I'm about to head to town and see my friend that nailed me as an Empath, this has been one heck of a year for self-discovery!

Thanks to all the help and guidance, glad I happened upon this forum.

TonyRN
@tonyrn
04/12/19 11:12:12AM
17 posts

Am I an Empath? how definitive are the online tests?


Empath

I want to thank you for the responses. I do seem to fit into the dysfunctional part of the spectrum in spite of some coping mechanisms I have sorted out. Most of how I cope is avoidance, and it works. I have been and continue to read up on survival and coping techniques. If I may be honest I'm pretty skeptical but for lack of any other explanation I am going forward. I may no longer claim to have an open mind if I exercise contempt prior to investigation. 

The whole concept of "Empath" makes the most sense in the absence of any other explanation.  Besides I know that dogs are empathic, so why not some people. I would be uncomfortable if I had to argue this in court, but I am convinced that there is something to it and it probably fits me.

I'm still not entirely sure why I'm here, not sure what my goals are. I'm happy as an introvert and living remotely, so not in any hurry to change that. Perhaps I'm curious how this could be a gift, perhaps It's self-discovery, I can use knowledge to make myself a better, more functional person. Maybe this understanding will make me better able to help others.  It's mighty confusing to not like people and feel a compulsion to help some of them at the same time.  Looks like I probably have a lot of stuff to sort through.

Thank you for taking the time to shed some light on this. 

TonyRN
@tonyrn
04/11/19 08:05:00PM
17 posts

Am I an Empath? how definitive are the online tests?


Empath

Over the years I have occasionally had someone tell me that I'm an Empath, usually someone I only knew in passing if at all.  Recently someone I respect told me that she is an Empath and that I probably am too.  I promised to research it and I did, found some online tests/screening tools and tried those out.  They were so easy to take as the answers were pretty definite, if I'm to believe any of these tests and information about traits of an Empath, then am indeed a flaming Empath. 

It would explain my blistering social ineptitude, it's bad enough to make friends and career a real challenge sometimes/quite often.  Some days I just cant bear the idea of being around people at all.  Without recapping all the material I have read I can say that it matches me to about 95%.  I have never experienced any connection to someone distant as some others have claimed.  Everything else seems about spot on.  The BS meter is the true gift, but so far the rest of it seem to be more of a curse in day to day life.  I was mostly holding it together before, but an onset of Fibromyalgia seems to be exacerbating every aspect of this already tricky "gift". It's been much easier since I have learned to trust my gut and stop ignoring red flags.  I've also had to make some serious adjustment to my expectations of people in general.

Is there any other way to interpret all this above data that I used to self-diagnose being an Empath?

There is no way to switch it off, is there?

I hope to learn from others here, seems like the pieces are starting to fall together, like finally I can make some sense of why I am so damn different. I'm not enough of a people person for this to be a good thing, or so it looks from here.

Thanks for enduring my rant-clad questions, I thought I had some serious stuff wrong with me for many years, but this really could make so many things easier to understand.

TIA.


updated by @tonyrn: 06/10/19 09:52:45PM