Newbie to all of this amazing stuff
Welcome to the community, John
@moonshine what do you mean by trying to stop writing? do you mean writing online or writing in terms of journalling / poetry / stories?
As I understand it, being in the moment means to do, whatever you are doing, with all your attention and heart, paying attention to what you are actually doing and to where you actually are. this is not always easy, I tend to switch into "headzone" especially when I have some problems going on resp. issues with other people. I imagine what was or will be in an endless-loop, especially when I'm not doing an acitvity where I need to concentrate. What helps me in this situation is, actually, writing and / or drawing to get my thoughts and feelings sorted out. This helps me to get calmer and be able to stop thinking about an issue all the time.
the first time I really tried to actively be present in the moment was during walking around in my neighbourghood: I actually found out that I really hated the place, it was all too noisy and crowded and dirty - I would never have noticed this if I just had rushed about as usual, head in the clouds.
A good way to train to be in the moment is, I think, for example, drawing from life. Sitting in your garden or your kitchen and draw a flower or your teapot. Never mind the outcome, it's about the process. If you start to draw, you start to look at your environnment differently. You see things you didn't see before. If I am on holiday, instead of looking at things through my camera, I try to just watch, look at every detail, also pay attention to what I smell, hear or feel, and eventually take out my sketchbook and draw something I really like. the rest I try to take in for further inspiration. That's perpaps not for everybody, but you could do the same with writing.
And, if by writing you mean prose or poetry, then: please don't stop. that's a great thing to do. It's therapeutic for you and it's art. We need more of that. And if you need encouragement on that, you could get yourself a copy of "Art Matters", a thin booklet by Neil Gaiman (text) and Chris Riddell (illustration). Personally, I really love it
have a nice day
An interesting article I found today:
I don't know, but I know that "shit happens" :-D also on the spiritual level
I'm rather astonished that this seems so exotic to most of you ...
In the meantime, I found this story by Osamu Tezuka with the title "Princes Knight" , who got, by mistake, two hearts: a boys and a girls heart
the thread is actually not about taking on other peoples illnesses. I've experienced that too, but thats a different thing. My actual health issues are not related to my moms illness.
the taking notes and paying back things is not what my mom does but my sibling. I just mentioned it to give a better understanding of the situation, but I do not want to discuss the issues I have with my sybling right now. I hope you understand this.
thank you for your sympathy and advice, I appreciate this 💗
thank you michelle
it is not as bad for the moment that this person (my mom) could not cook for herself or needed help in the household all the time - but due to the treatement, she is not always well and is starting to feel the side effects of the treatement.Yet she does not assume that she needs external help.
I'm about to leave for another country in the next weeks, so I will not be able to just help spontaneously. Yet I need to leave, for sake of my own health and sanity.
Staying at this place is a problem for me and so are all the actions attached - it all stirrs up all the old problems constantly that I need to get a distance from. Even helping out with simple things, even just staying here, brings me to my limits.
And it does not help to know, that her other daughter, who is the neighbour, is not helpful at all. She does works around the house alright, but is constantly guilttripping or accusing me- since we do not talk anymore she now uses my mother to do so. I need to get out of this but I don't want to leave my mother in this situation. I already tried to motivate her to move with me before she got sick, but she wants to stay here and I think that it is partly the cause of the disease. I fear that she will not overcome the disease in such a situation. the other sibling is quite narcissistic, has mood swings, rages, comes up with the craziest beliefs and just does not really care. she does help, but in a compulsive kind of way and always with a hidden agenda - if you get her help you need to pay back some day, one to one, and she means this litterally. She even takes notes!
I feel totally guilty for going away but at the same time I really fear for my own life, I know this sounds dramatic, but my body is firing more than one alarm at once.
I do not know how to handle this: I would like to be there and help, but I am not well myself and do not have the strengh to do what I think should be done. I am not in a state to help others, still "licking my own wounds". I feel sad and guilty and helpless. And, you probably experienced this all of you, I do not observe the same attitude from the other people that surround this person. So I feel like it's all on my shoulders. My body was showing the strangest symptoms pver the last 3 years, I got the feeling that I was slowly dying. If I get to grips with one symptom, the next pops up. So I decided to go away from my job and this place and people that make me sick - and now this familiy member gets a cancer diagnose, just when I am about to leave and there is no turning back for me really and each further day I stay makes me sicker.
An article I read today- it is about how music affects empaths but (further down) also on inspiration and why it is so important:
quotation from the article:
“Let the beauty you love be what you do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.” (poet Rumi)
I just had the need to do this You're all so great and I am so grateful for this forum!
where did the internet research lead you? I found the following pages:
The last one says it's based on the Doreen Virtue book -I personally found this a bit too much though, whith the different earth angels and pixies and star people (but I did not read the book itself)
The other sources listed attributes that where mostly identical to the attributes that describe an empath (apart i.e. from the longing to go home - I hat a time in my life where I felt this very strongly - I woke up each morning and was very frustrated to find myself still here .... ^_^ )
I too experience the presence of wings, mostly during meditation or chakra activation, and more and more in "normal mode"
Isn't it possible, that the wings are a normal part of the human energy-field (like the crown chakra) -and have nothing to do with beeing a special sort of beeing? I included them when doing chakra activation - after the crown-chakra I "stretch my wings" :-D ). I also use them as a protection, to appear unconspicous or on the contrary to appear more impressive than I am - when encountering suspicious people when I'm outside - I don't know though if this makes any difference - never asked the suspicious bypassers (^_-)
I also feel like on a mission, but I have absolutely no clue what it is.
I know, this sounds a bit weird...
Do you have any experience with influence on technology or feeling into machines (like your car)? I have the impression that my car depeloped some kind of a life of its own and that there is come kind of connection to me (example: I open the car and it is moving its rear windscreen once - like, hello, there you are)- It does this for years but not every time. Only lately, I thought of giving it away and buy a new one (I had a bad concience about it). It stopped 'waving' at me alltogether - I think it was sulking. You can put it on electronic malfunction and the rest on coincidence and my imagination. I know that. But it just feels like it has a personality.
Also, I never ever owned a car radio that works - before CD-time, it was always "eating" my cassettes (tapejam) and now, its always the CDs that don't work- event brandnew ones. Lately, I switched cars with my husband, and guess what, he could put all the CDs into the radio the wanted and listen to them without disturbance
ok, I feel a bit silly about posting this - but perhaps its more than my imagination running wild
is it possible, to have a connection to a machine similar than you could have it to a living beeing? this could be very useful (if you could control it). there are shamans expressly personalizing their technical items to make them work better or make them their accomplice
may I ask you a (perhaps stupid 😅) noob-question: how do you identify the cords that need to be removed? Or discern "bad" cords from healthy ones? what do you do if the root doesn't come out?
I only know this in the way of: going outside, finding a suitable stick or piece of wood, breaking it and throwing it away. does this have the same effect? (although it is only useful if you know which bond you want to cut)
Pretty good (if you skip the part with the singing )
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_P8aFACl-VqJl0flQPGMQQ/videos (Vital Mind Psychology)
these are just two of whom I know, there are others out there. If you want to really recover, you need to get help from someone who specialized in treating narcissitic abuse - normal therapy is not sufficient. There is a reason why you fell for that guy initially and you have to have a look at that, as painful as it may be.
I wish you all the best for 2019 and that you'll get better quickly
take care of yourself
I have been thinking about this special subject a lot these last days. I am questioning all my relationships right now, and so I do with my current partner. We've been together for a long time and we are a really good team, but I am beginning to miss depth and passion, a feeling that increased I think over the last months or so, as I am going through a development process right now.
I asked myself what was attracting me to that person and I came to the conclusion, that, perhaps, it was the missing of this intensity of feelings that attracted me initially. It felt safe and calm.
Some years ago, I was totally unable to hug people or kiss them on the cheeks, even close friends, it was totally overwhelming by then. When I touched a person emanating intense emotions, I sometimes lost orientation alltogether for some seconds. Now I can handle this better and I begin to miss something in my partnership.
I discovered that most of my family members have narcissitic traits and I am now panicking on the possibiliy, that my partner is like that too and I just don't want to see it. I'm trying to get more closeness into the relationship and talked openly to my partner about it. He sometimes feels to me like he's switched off, but when I got on my train home this morning (we are currently living apart) he looked as if he was starting to cry any moment. This is all so confusing and I totally don't trust my own judgement. What if "safe and calm" really is the absence of emotions (his or possibly mine)? Panic.
How did you get through this isolation phase? after some time alone it feels as if reality was getting kind of thin
Yes, I probably ought to take all my courage and try to go to places where it is more likely to find empaths or at least more sensitive people. I'm moving to Germany, I hope it will be simpler there, more people than cows at least :-D
have a nice end of the year
Actually, I'm planning to offer art courses for children after we've moved to our new place.
PS: I just heard this song on youtube. I thought, it fits quite well
I struck a nerve there
thank you for sharing your experiences, I can relate to most of it.
I live in Luxemburg right now and there seems to be no local emapth group - and if there were, I'm not sure if I had the courage to go there ... (erverybody just knows everybody around here). I'm attending an art class though, but it will only go on for some months now.
I made the experience too, that even good friends react strangely if you come up with needing emotional support. A really good friend of mine, who even offered me to call her anytime I feel bad - when I did, she kind of quickly ended the conversation, although she is normally a really gentle person. I don`t understand this. Perhaps I just scared her off. She even apologized the next time we talked. Nervertheless, I now hesitate to call when I don't feel good and stick again to my old rule to have no social interactions when in a dark mood. People don't want to hear it and I don't want to feel rejected. I realize I'm starting to sound a bit bitter, sorry for that.
💗 I really appreciated your kind and elaborate responses.💗
Thank you and have a nice and cosy end of the year.
What do you do against loneliness? In "normal" friendships I have always the feeling that there is something missing, that it is not close enough. In addition, you cannot talk about your true self to most people.
so, how do you do? how do you find the "empath next door"?
I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you and I want to apologize if I sounded self-complacent. I was so into my own experience that I forgot how much worse things can get.
I have watched a lot of Richards youtube videos before buying some of the courses. I found all of them helpful. Do you know Pete Walker? he wrote books on ptsd, "From surviving to thriving" and "The Tao of Fully Feeling".
Thank you for sharing the video. There are similairities, but contrary to Tom Montalk, what Sam Vaknin say is, that there has formed something called "the narcissictic shell" inside the human where the true self is hiding (as a surviving response to abuse or trauma) because reallity is too painful. The ego has taken over and is running the show. Healing would be possible if the initial trauma could be resolved, but this is something the most skilled therapists are not (until now) capable to do and the process would be very painful.
I have this really strange question: is it possible, that in one body two souls incarnated - like one frontend and one backend? What I don't mean is: siamese twins, walk-in souls or psychosis with different personalities. Just two souls in one body, possibly even of different sex, one active and one passive, but they can exchange place and do communicate. Perhaps an accidental incident, or for the purpose of healing or even hiding? Anybody experienced or heard of something like this?
I'd be grateful for any chared experience.
There is a thing called "cold empathy" which narcs /psychopaths/cluster-bs can display. Sam Vaknin coined the expression. it means, that the narc can see what you are feeling but is not feeling with you or give any care about it. the whole thing with cluster-bs is, that they are cut off from their feelings. So, a narc cannot be an empath, but he or she can be really good at knowing or at least guessing what you are feeling - it is part of their survival strategy. But they don't care about what you are feeling. Sam Vaknin aboud cold empathy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J09lXzhq5DA (note about Sam Vaknin: he is a diagnosed psychopath) citation from the video: "the brain is there - the heart isn't"
If you need help to recover from narcicisstic abuse, I recommend Richard Grannon (spartanlifecoach.com). He is also on youtube. He is really good and has a lot of free material online.
hope I could help
.Me to I see things when I close my eyes, some times more instense than other times, sometimes even with the eyes open. its nlt only faces, but all kind of picures, most of the time moving, like a film.
I sometimes think its a kind of connection to some kind of information stream being out there.
I do go to the doctor - but you can bet, the moment the treatment is helping there's another completely different symptom popping up
There is something strange happening. Everytime I get to cope with a symptom, there's another one propping up - a bit like bubbles in a sticker. I used to have severe headaches. I went to the ostheopath, the headaches have gone. Then I got diagnosed on having asthma. The medication is helping - I start to have prickling extremeties (diagnosis: carpal tunnel syndrome). I'm doing extra stretching and massage to avoid an operation - the symptoms get better and there comes the next problem: I get really bad dorsal pain. Along all this, I have sleeping difficulties, returning diarrrhea and seemengly allergies. I say seemingly because the medecine helps but the tests are without result.
I wonder, if I am really this ill. I was wondering, if this ridiculous buildup of symptoms where alarm signals for something else. I am currently in a job thats not too bad, but I feel, its not the right place for me anymore. I learned a lot, but I got the feeling, I have to move on. Only, I cannot simply quit my job like that for the moment. I'm right now attending courses to be able to make a carreer change and I have to be patient still, but it's getting more and more difficult to go on.
Now, my question, finally ☺:
Could it be, that all those symptoms and illnesses are warning signals that I am not fulfilling my destiny? Or am I symply getting more sensitive?
1) this "I know you look" / "I know you reaction" happens to me sometimes with children or dogs (parents and owners are not amused). Most adult strangers rather avoid me
2) I have a variation of this: I see people I haven't seen for a long time when I'm looking at strangers passing by (i.e. passing in a car). They look like these people but I know they're not them.
3) this looking at somebody to have the person turn her had is always working. People and animals feel if somebody is looking at them. You don't have the effect if you look slightly past the person.
4) this never happend to me. On some occations, I dreamt of situations though, that happed like this afterwards.
Ecila, Caren, Visitor.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I do a little yoga myself at home and I always feel better afterwards. I tried doing the Qi Gong exercises alone at home but I stopped this because I always felt a bit "beside myself" afterwards. Sure it would help to get instructions from a Qi Gong teacher whom I could tell I was an empath - but I did not have enough trust in my teacher at that time to share such information about me. Interesting to know though, that yoga can have a similar effect.
I tried something different, in the meantime, that is finding and deleting inferfering "soul contracts" (I'm not sure if this is the right translation). The first time I did this was a real overwhelming experience and there was a whole lot of "me" coming back to me. I didn't think of it until now, but perhaps I should try the Qi Gong exercises once more, to see if it made a change.
best wishes and thanks for sharing
a friend an colleague at work has recently gone trough a complete change. From good humoured, self-confident to totally insecure and anxious in a few days. She has some private problems an has to fight an illness, but this situation has been going on for some months whereas this change in her behaviour came totally unexpected and within a few days. I have the impression she is getting thinner (not in terms of bodyweigh, although she is loosing weigh too) every day. Like she was slowly disappearing. Before this change, she spoke of her problems quite freely and frequently, now, she only repeats that she is insecure and seems often to be at a loss for words. She sometimes just stands there and looks at me and says nothing. I have no idea how to help. I already asked, if something had happened to her recently, but she denied.