How does it feel 'from the other side'? - Dumping Emotions on me
Trying to keep this short I am relatively new to this, I only found out I’m an Empath few months back, after opening my first topic in this forum and after reading ‘thriving as an Empath’ and Elise’s book, which were both very helpful. I get better at this step by step I hope, but now I find myself wondering, how empathy is perceived (if at all) from the other side of the spectrum so to say.
I took on very strong emotions from a good friend of mine again recently, and I had a very hard time to shake them off (it took me a few days, almost a week! – feeling miserable all the way through) this person is a new friend I ‘found’ a few months back and we get along very well, safe to say we clicked from the start and have a very special connection and I believe it is not a coincidence that we met at this exact time in my life, which is quite difficult for me as I feel adrift and stuck in a rut since a few months – but I’m working on resolving this.
He is a free spirit, no attachments, an artist that does whatever he feels like and abuses drugs – I know his lifestyle, which I kind of envy, is showing me what is currently missing in my life and should be lived and brought to the surface by me again (especially being creative and free, but not the drugs of course, I don’t use drugs except Alcohol) that’s probably why we clicked so well.
We were very drunk and kissed a few weeks back, and afterwards I felt simply completely awful, it felt a lot like having a broken heart going through massive heartache, which is strange, as this is not an emotional state he is going through at the moment as he has no partner or lover in his life at the moment (we are not lovers just like each other a lot what somehow led to this slip up – confusing this strong attraction we have for romance). It was also the first time I picked anything this strong up from him. Usually it’s just some ‘light’ stuff which I can cope with easily and ceases after a day or two and cutting ties to him. This time it didn't work. So why did it feel like that to me this time? Is it an echo of HIS feelings after all or do these emotions unloaded onto us Empaths always feel the same kind of awful? Again, I only started paying attention to this recently so am quite inexperienced in really listening into myself and feeling others emotions.
Anyway, my friend does not know that I am an Empath, no one of my friends and family actually knows this, hence I found myself wondering, I felt miserable for a week after our last encounter, but how did he feel? I know from reading up that the others usually don’t feel the same emotions that we Empaths take on from them, but do they feel relieved from this emotional baggage after such encounters perhaps? What’s this whole experience like ‘from the other side’? I know this is not the main focus for us in general and perhaps not even that important, but I am curious because it would explain why some people I find exhausting are drawn to me, just for unloading their emotions and feeling better afterwards, perhaps? Do the others feel nothing at all and merrily go their way while we deal with the damage we never asked for?
Also, why do some people unload stuff on us and others nothing at all? I don't usually take on such strong emotions, not even from people who are much closer to me, or even family.
I would love to hear your opinions on this matter. This forum is the only place I can talk and read about these things, I am so glad I found it.
Thanks for reading and have a nice day!
updated by @gardentiger: 12/10/17 12:20:30PM