It's been a long while since I have posted here but you prompted me to share.
- I was in my 20s before I realized that I had, aged 3, made the decision to play weak and sickly to get love and attention form my mother. By the time I entered my first corporate job I had long forgotten that a useful and successful strategy with my mother was just that - a strategy! Needless to say, it did not serve me as a successful strategy in the corporate world. LOL!
- The science of epigenetics has enabled us to scientifically understand that strong emotions turn on and off DNA flags. So if our parents had strong emotions before we were conceived we literally inherited their emotions in our DNA. Ditto, grandparents, great-grandparents etc.
- There is certainly a way in which we are also socially conditioned. If our parents shouted at us as a child, we may come to think that our romantic partner does care about us unless they shout at us.
Similarly, one of my clients had an abusive father. His father was also abuse. My client was subconsciously expressing her natural love for her ancestry by loving an abusive partner.
I have been using a process with my clients along this line. I'll share part of it here:
I instruct my clients to honor their ancestors by saying to each generation of the 7 generations that preceded them:
(Ideally this process would be done using photos of the ancestors (parents, grandparents and further back if available). Where photos aren't available, visualizations also work)
"I honor you, my ancestors, for who you were and what you went through.
I honor your gift of life to me.
I honor your love for me and I now understand that I don’t need to honor you by holding, for myself, your emotional DNA and your emotional baggage.
I give back to you, with love, all that is yours and not mine.
I am sharing my love for you and thank you for your love for me."
Hope this helps,