Searching for explanation
I'm new to the Empath community as a whole.
I feel out of place here so far. I don't put any stock in "positive energy" or "healing crystals" or anything that doesn't have a good scientific explanation, but strange things have been happening to me my entire life (particularly this past year) that I can't ignore, and can't explain. I started doing some digging and found the word "Empath." It seems close enough to what I'm experiencing that I'm here looking for others who may have similar experiences, as well as tips and tricks for dealing with my (our) condition.
Without further ado I suppose I should share my experience. Sorry in advance for the long post.
I seem to have an uncanny ability to predict hardship, injury, and death (particularly suicides).
First incident I remember occurred when I was five or so. I woke up from a dream in which my aunt was clutching a baby bottle and crying. While the content of the dream was what most people would call concerning or sad, I woke up with a crushing sense of dread. Later that morning while I was eating breakfast, my dad got a call that my aunt had been rushed to the hospital in the night and had to have both her ovaries removed (rendering her unable to have children). I was a kid, so I entertained the idea that I was magical or something for a while, but eventually wrote this off as a coincidence.
The second major event occurred when I was in high school I became passing friends with a guy who halfway through the year transferred to a different school. We hadn't talked in a while and one night I woke up in the middle of the night with the urgent feeling that I should text him. I didn't (for a variety of reasons - my phone was across the room, it was late, I didn't want to disturb him) but I wish I would have. The next day one of my school's guidance counselors pulled me out of class and informed me that he had died. He had committed suicide approximately ten minutes after I had woken up.
It's been a few years since then, and This last year has been especially full of events like this. I have a good friend who was going through a rough patch with his girlfriend, and they broke up. I was passing friends with her, and we only lived a few houses away from each other so I still saw her and chatted with her every so often. A few weeks later, I had the strong urge to go for a walk in the park near my house (it was past midnight, not usually a time I'd want to go for a walk) and the urge was very specific to the park and even the route I'd take. I had my shoes and coat on and was halfway out the door before I got distracted helping my roommate take out the trash, and didn't end up going for a walk. The next day I saw my friend walk past my house, sent him a quick "hi" text, and he called me back and informed me that she (his ex) had hung herself in the park last night. I checked my city's police blotter and discovered that the time was about ten minutes after I had started walking out my front door.
That event was really rough on my friend. He came very close to suicide twice over the summer, and twice I awoke during the night in a panic and (not ignoring myself this time) texted him to make sure he was okay. He's commented on the fact that I always seem to know when to text him (I have a tendency to do it when he's just having a mildly bad day too -- same with the rest of my friends) but I don't know what to tell him. I mostly don't want to admit that I had a similar feeling before the girl died. Plus, I have no explanation myself.
There are a bunch of other minor incidents I won't burden you all with (it'd be a lot to read!) but I've also noticed that I seem to mirror other people's emotions and personality. I experience odd, VERY accurate and very long de'ja'vus (some of which I write down and draw ahead of time in my journal... creepy!) and I can always tell when someone is hiding the truth from me (and I know how to hide the truth from others easily -- I'm a very good liar)
Anyways, I'm here to talk to others who may be experiencing the same thing. I suppose I have two main questions:
1) Do you have any ideas of how this phenomenon may be explained scientifically? Electromagnetic waves? Mirror neurons? My personal working theory is that perhaps some people can sense a dimension above the 3rd (possibly time) and gain a small understanding or glimpse of what may be going on there, and that humanity as a whole may begin to adapt in this direction (think of the way eyes evolved -- certain micro-organisms gaining the ability to sense small amounts of light through certain cells that over billions of years evolved into the complicated eyes we have now -- this could also apply to electromagnetic waves or any number of other signals). Perhaps there is no scientific explanation, and I'll have to accept the fact that the paranormal and supernatural are a real thing, but for now (for my sanity) I'd like to think there's a cause just waiting to be discovered.
2) What can I do to become more in touch with this (so far unexplained) sense? I can't help but blame myself for the two suicides I "missed" and I don't want to miss another. Please throw out any and all tips you have. I will probably be skeptical (that's just my nature) but I'm willing to try just about anything, and I welcome any help you have for me.
Alright, thank you for reading this. I'm interested in hearing your experiences, opinions, and tips.
updated by @ellicent: 09/02/18 09:45:47PM