@moonshine
You have alot going on
Grounding is a good technique and can really help you be yourself again. You may be caught up in the whirlwind of others energies and emotions often forgetting your own. This is quite common. I would suggest to try different grounding techniques and see what works for you. I can share mine, and maybe one may strike a chord. Being in nature, surrounded or in large bodies of water, Himalayan salt baths, lavender essential oil, palo Santo essential oil, sleeping with Crystal's under my pillow, always wearing a black stone. Obsidian types seem to be the best for me. I do keep a black tourmaline on me as well and Jet. (Usually in a pouch stuff in my bra, TMi) If you live and work in a large city like I do, chicago. Nature adventures are a God send. Snowfalls and rain always feel like junk in the air is washed away and purged for a bit. I wear headphones alot and that helps, along with not looking at people in crowded downtown Chicago.
First time I tried automatic writing, omg wow!!! It was fascinating. You learn so much

I suggest only calling upon your spirit guide (s) and Angel's and higher self. The new age may say universe, but then you are calling upon everything lol. I made that mistake once lol. Before hand really ground yourself. Talk a walk with the trees, have a salt bath, use a soothing scent, meditate for a few minutes in the bath to quite the mind. When you are ready call upon your guides and Angel's only and start to visualize the white light coming into your head and all over your body. Visualize it covering your head, your nose, your neck, moving to your shoulders, then down to your body, legs, etc. Then when you are ready write whatever comes to your mind. At first "purging" will begin, then as you continue "non sense" will start. You may get phrases pop in your mind, write it down. Images in your 3rd eye, write it down. You may start to feel tired after a few minutes, and you can say thank you to your guides and angels as you complete the writing as you have recievee the information for now.
Here are some weird things I got.
Example, The last few times I had done the automatic writing "eat leafy greens" kept coming. Naturally i thought strange, why do you want me to eat leafy greens?
So i did eat more leafy greens, for a whole month and I did feel better health wise. I think it raised my vibration too. If you look in my freezer I have 7 things of frozen spinach, lol. I try to keep a stock of it. Another example that came through was leaving my job. Of course I thought odd, it wasnt that bad. But later I found out why......oh and I did. 2018 was a not great working career. Now, my last automatic writing was a few months ago, i was told success is coming. I really hoped it was a new job, and it was. I also learned the negative people around me were holding me back, again I didnt see it until later I found out who my true friends are.
@hop-daddy knows my challenges with living in Chicago, but that has come through with automatic writing several times. I'm supposed to leave this city and negative people for continued growth. Now, I'm a logically person and have to plan for it lol. I apologize for talking so much of me, just wanted to provide a few examples of how it really does work. It may help on grounding and people. May even help with your other gifts. Automatic writing may just come freely and natural for you as it does for me, and I really hope it does. Feel free to smudge your area with sage before hand, I use a sage smudge spray I got from Amazon and sprinkle Palo santo essential oil on the carpet. Scents work just as great as smoke, in my rescent experience past few months. The room energy will be clear and ready for you
you can even spray the sage smudge spray around you after a hard day. It helps me and I hope helps you.
Here is the sage smudge spray link...you can find it on Amazon too.
https://juniper-mist.myshopify.com