Emmy Long

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Bill Walker

Perspective is important

By: Emmy Long
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I love my gift, and being an empath is one of my favorite things about myself, but sometimes if I lose perspective for even a second it can make the world seem so cruel. Sometimes if I forget that not everyone FEELS the world and people/animals in it like I do, then I get to wondering how people can be so cruel. How can they judge a person for how they feel? And then I have to step back and remember that maybe that person judging, wouldn't be judging if they understood how the other person felt like I do. Or I witness somebody bullying another person and think to myself how can that person get pleasure from the negative way they are making somebody else feel? And then I remind myself again that they probably wouldn't enjoy what they were doing if they actually felt what the other person felt right then. But the truth is, they don't. And because of that, I honestly don't think the world is bad, or that my gift is a curse, or that even people in general are bad. People are good. <3 I can't judge them for what they don't know. I'm not saying it's ok for them to bully, just that it's not the same kind of bad to them as it is to me or somebody who feels the world like me. On a basic level, it's like a little kid calling a large person fat, it's not nice nor appropriate, but you can't punish them for what they don't know. If instead we teach what we do know to others who don't understand, we might be more impactful than just scolding them for doing wrong. A parent would take the child aside and tell them it isn't appropriate to say those things because it can be hurtful. We too should do that with people in the world who cause hurt. We shouldn't yell at them or berate them or judge them. I choose to think that people are good and if we show compassion in helping them understand the things we see that they can't, then maybe we'd be more successful in helping them.Empathy isn't bad, nor are people. But losing perspective of what really is can cause it to seem like what it's not.
Emmy Long
04/12/15 09:51:31PM @emmy-long:
I just went back and reread it. :) It is true we can't save the whole world. Some people are just mean. I suppose I meant that in general I don't think most people are intentionally cruel, just that they don't understand. And while we may or may not be successful, we should still show love and compassion over judgement and anger. BUT the key to that is knowing when we've done all we can and when to let go and let them do for themselves, as you mentioned in your blog. You were very right when you said some people will never learn, and it can be so disheartening when you put your whole heart into helping them.
Emmy Long
04/17/15 07:30:40AM @emmy-long:
Billy, I'll play devils advocate a little here. :) Yes a person who has been bullied knows what it felt like when it was happening to THEM, but they don't know what it feels like to the other person they're bullying (unless they're an empath). And I think a lot of people who have been bullied and then become bullies don't do it because they want to hurt people, I think their past experiences have given them a very wrong, and very sad, view that that is people need to interact with others if they want to be accepted and liked by peers. I don't think they do it to be mean, I think they do it because they honestly think that's the "normal" way to have friends and respect because they've seen the people who bullied them earn "respect" (and I use that term loosely because really it's fear) that way.Of course that being said, I've been called an optimist and a Pollyanna, and it's probably true. :) But my rose colored glasses just give me a different view, and it's not one I'm willing to accept as "wrong". And trust me it's not because I've never been wronged in life. I've had more than my share of troubles. There are some people who are just truly mean and there's probably reasons for that. And for people like that, I agree with skyshadows comment, you just have to know when you've helped enough and it's time to let them find themselves on their own.
Emmy Long
04/17/15 09:53:52AM @emmy-long:
That's beautiful. <3
Emmy Long
04/17/15 10:51:03AM @emmy-long:
That you don't want to ever hurt people because you know what it's like.