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Intuitive Tune-Up (3): The Fear of Being Weird

Do you keep your intuitive insight quiet sometimes because you're afraid of sounding weird? Finely tune your intuition with the Left Brain Intuitive: ...
Cheshire Cat
11/30/19 11:15:36AM @cheshire-cat:

Engineers who are into intuitive readings? That you found any amazed me more than anything else you said, lol. 

Thank you for this video about a major issue I've had. I do not mind being laughed at by total skeptics, but normally avoid those types of people. Imo, there are lots of people who love to be read, but only if you tell them something positive.

What does come up for me, is my seeing something awful that will happen if a current course of action continues, or that a person is going to be badly hurt by someone they trust who is not trustworthy, or that someone already has or will get an illness, often due to behavior that may be changed in time. I feel an obligation to tell them. Then the following sequence occurs:

1. They are angry at me, insisting I am just a negative person out to upset them and cause trouble.

2. They continue on their present course and the exact thing I warned them about occurs.

3. Every time they see me, if they can't avoid doing so after that, they get angry at me again, since seeing me reminds them how foolish they were.

As a result, I've stopped telling people things for the most part. This leaves me wondering why I have this ability if I cannot ever use it due to people's self-deception and inability to handle truth. I would be thrilled if more people cared enough about me to tell me the honest truth!

I agree you can say most things to anyone if you say it right, but "I feel some thing is wrong with your liver, please get it checked right away" is a hard one to rephrase in a way that it won't still be a gut punch, for example. I knew it was cancer, but would not have said it that bluntly...ime, it does not matter how much I soften what is said though. (I did not tell that woman and she died one year later of liver cancer). How would you approach something like that?

It is so frustrating that it is contributing to me isolating myself. Any ideas on how to deal with this are welcome. Thanks!

12/01/19 10:18:25AM @eliselebeau:

I know exactly what you mean :) . That's why I have I mention that my policy is to wait until they ask.  Most of the people you are describing would never ask.  Which means I would avoid 90% of the emotional hardship you're describing above.

However, it does lead to the question: what CAN you do with your gift?  I feel a very strong urge to say things to people who need to hear then.  But this need an appropriate outlet .

If you have my book, here is an excerpt that describe why we need to start away from inappropriate outlets, and focus on the productive ones.

From I Can Feel Your Pain : How to Cope with Life As An Empath.

Balanced Empaths

Although I have mostly discussed emotional chaos, fear, and doubts, it doesn’t mean that all Empaths are doomed to a life of despair. Some Empaths talk positively about their experience and have found ways to use their Empath skills productively, to help themselves and others.

I refer to the term Balanced Empath to describe someone who has mastered their Empath skills and is able to put their emotional sensitivity to good use, meaning that they have an appropriate outlet.

For example, Mark is a novelist who can deeply touch his readers because he is authentically connected to them. He can tune into his audience, get a sense of what inspires or intrigues them and fill his novels with emotional content that instantly resonates with them.

I have a friend who is a realtor and uses her skills to match people to a house that makes their heart sing. 

Every Empath has their own way of expressing their skills. I’ve often talked to Balanced Empaths who consider it part of life’s purpose to use their emotional skills in every day life.

Most importantly, a Balanced Empath has figured out how to detangle their personal feelings from the emotions of others, which is a crucial step towards a peaceful Empath experience. They can modulate their Empath skills at will.

I would like to make a distinction between a Balanced Empath and a Professional Empath . Being a Professional Empath requires a lot more skills, training, and practice than what I’m covering in this book.

Professional Empaths are able to interpret and convey complex emotional information accurately . They can use this information for specific purposes, such as healing work or counseling. They have integrated their Empath skills into a career.

My transition to becoming a Professional Empath was sporadic and difficult. I had to learn to control my initial reflex to use my skills to help the people around me. An innocent conversation with a friend would inevitably turn into: “here’s what you’re REALLY feeling and what to do about it”. The words would spill out of my mouth before I had time to evaluate if it was appropriate to say. And most of the time, it was not.

People get defensive very quickly if you suggest they might be attracted to their sister’s husband…

After being whiplashed a few times by offended friends, I realized that it might be best for me to shut up. Almost ten years after leaving my career in psychology, I was still learning the same lesson: wait until someone asks for advice before trying to help them.

It’s ironic that while I was trying to help those who didn’t ask for it, I was unable to help those who did. Even after publishing my self-help tools like the Empath Community and the Empath Survival Program , I was still getting numerous requests for help, which I could not answer for lack of time and energy.

Between taking care of my family and going to work, training Empaths just fell off the table.

In the end, I managed to put two and two together and started offering Professional Empath reading and training sessions.

Most people came to my web site and found everything they needed by themselves, but those who were overwhelmed, lost, or confused could talk to me directly and get help tailored to their specific circumstances.

I feel that by the time you withdraw your energy from this outlet, you'll find another more productive one.