All in My Mind
I know I am not making anything up. I know the difference between when something looks mysterious and it turns out to be a lamp. I always assume what I see is simply explained. So, when I see things I know there is something really there but ONLY visable to me. It really IS ONLY in MY mind.
I fight constantly to not look or think about it because something will appear. It is like it sits there waiting for me; I guess it's like I summon it. A thought will pop into my head that I haven't seen anything in a while and they start, both visually and mentally. The moment I start thinking about writing I get hit with all their wrath. I will barely be able to see or feel where I am in the house or outside especially at night. Every room and everything thing is draped with the burgandy patterned whatever it is - more like a waving curtain. The webs still hang around. They start to crawl along walls where it meets the ceiling; spreading as proceeding. Nights are hellish because if I open my eyes it will look like a very perpetually moving dense snowy fog. Sometimes a group or the man's face will be in front of me waiting for me to see them. It's SO creepy. How can something live inside of my brain but not be a conscience or unconscious thought that I have no control over? I can't predict.
I still see a burgundy pattern in anything black and a yellow pattern on white. I spent almost a week at my son's house 100 miles from my home. No reprieve; it all came with me.
2/8/19 still procrastinating...
The other night I saw a man with a young boy standing in front of my dresser. He seemed to be combing the boys hair.
It was an odd vision because although it was formed by what appeared to be web formed shapes there was more solidity. I didn't actually see details of the forms; yet I had a strong impression leading me to believe what I described
I have been turning off the TV at night. Once I close my eyes I don't want to open them again until daylight because I know the moment I do they will start swarming the bedroom.
Occasionally if I need to use the bathroom I get up quickly and avoid looking around. I hold my arms up with my palms facing out. I make a pushing motion and the webs will move backward. I quickly turn on a light. The light makes them retreat. They are not gone but they are not readily visible. I usually pull the sheet over my head. Once in a while I awaken and peek out from beneath the sheet. I will always see 1 or more groupings within the massive snowy foggy cluster. They immediately advance toward me. Sometimes the man's face will be waiting in front of my face. I need to retreat quickly.
Last night there were 2 faces actually with an nondescript partial body. As they advance I quickly hold my hand up to stop them. This time the man was not disguising himself. In his anger he neglected to create an interesting and vulnerable face. His face was angry with teeth bared. Now that I think about it these forms have been an overall red. I retreat back down under the covers not out of fear but in avoidance. I do not want to find out what will happen if I don't. Its SO CREEPY.
For a reason unbeknownst to me they can not do anything unless I allow or invite.
On a previous night I did actually see a woman to the left of my bed. The vision was still a fuzzy static, however, it was clear enough to know it was a middle age woman average in size. She had short curly hair. The webs have suppressed the visitors and once in a while the webs try to appear as a person but their attempt is still primitive.
I was in my (home) office the other day. My desk faces the wall on the right side. Across the room my husband's desk faces left. I turned to briefly look out the window which faces the front yard. As I turned back toward my desk I saw my husband's chair make a deliberate quarter turn. There was no one there, no air movement. Nothing to explain the turn
Fast forward (because I STILL haven't posted this) I always plan to then but then I resist Why?? I don't know
Last night the webs were very bad; forming large black groups and rushing me if I peeked out. I could see them through the sheet, waiting. I gave up and went to the living room and laid on the couch. I turn the light to the brightest on my tablet and ignore. That usually keeps them at bay.
Tonight, TV doesn't deter them. They are more dense to my left. A glance is taken as an invite.
As I lay in bed I feel a tremendous magnetic like pull throughout my body. I have felt this before but not nearly with this intensity.
Still mostly ignoring. The pull is so strong I feel small jerks throughout my body. I feel slightly faint. Every morning I wake with my left forearm feeling cold and a pressure from my wrist to elbow WHAT IS THIS? Does anyone know?
Looking back at some notes I discovered this web thing has been going on for 1 1/2 years with about 6 months of just the visitors.
I NEED/WANT these webs to go find someone else to haunt because I will NEVER help them.
Yet, still they are here. It is to the point I realize even in daylight no matter what I do or where I go I am or they are my world. I thought my eyes were failing but it is because even when I don't know it I am looking through what seems like very thin swirling almost invisable plastic wrap. I don't know if I am behind it or in front of it. I dont know if I am here or there.
I would like to see if I have other talents but I am afraid to try as long as they are here (or I am there). I am definately going to post this tonight..
But.... One last ironically funny happening.
I have long hair so it is everywhere. My husband found a clump of it with a spider nestled in it (no longer of the living thank God)
updated by @just-stevie: 03/11/19 09:08:57PM