Hi @goodenergyhealing, thanks for this reply.
yup, the breath thing seems exactly as you describe -- my chest / being tenses and so does the breath; then with the release, my breath also opens (the first few times i made instinctive "animal" sounds or had to exhale in a big way, which freaked people out a bit so i learnt to keep it quiet).
thanks for the tips. i know that "grounding" thing in part, and in part it helps me. i have been working a lot, over a long time, on increasing the degree to which i "inhabit my body", like, hard to express, but really reside in my own body sensing this internal settledness (and also sensing my presence in my organs, bones, etc.) rather than following everything that's zigzagging on around me like a crazy monkey. if that makes sense. i suppose that is a form of grounding, too.
yesterday i did a distance healing session with a client (started playing around with that after a lot of resistance, basically after my friend gave me one and i could feel part of what she's doing in my body and literally the second she stopped, even though we had not agreed on any time frame, so that i went to the phone the second she called that she's finished). anyways, an image i saw in y'day's session just came to mind; namely i saw that person's (energy) feet kind of growing luminous roots and growing deep deep into the ground, drawing nourishment in the form of white light (ya ... i give up can't do this without esoteric . this white light also extended up her legs all the way to the lower abdomen. i'd never seen sth like that before in a person (many seem to have kind of blocked, "cold", "dead" feet at least the ones i've worked with).
i was wondering how to interpret that, but now i'm thinking maybe what this person has is close to what you're recommending me to seek out (more), and that would make total intuitive sense.
the funny thing is that after i've felt it in another person, it's also easier for me to feel/encourage it in me (sometimes i think this empath-sense can in a way be helpful in learning / picking up skills / new ways of being more quickly?).
i'm actually thinking this "earth" connection should probably be my main priority ... because i see enough crazy stuff and my life tends to be ungrounded (i'm a nomad and basically live the modern version of a mendicant monk's life i guess ... aka).
the protection / guidance thing is something a friend who does reiki (the one who convinced me that i can do unusual things which before i thought everyone does) recommended. actually what happens in these sessions is that sometimes at a point i feel a "click" and i know that it's not really me doing that stuff -- cause i literally have NO idea what i'm doing and i swear i haven't even read about it (not in the science papers i read for work, anyways -- but it's like another hand is guiding my hand; or sometimes it feels like ... i'm going (back?) to another form of my self -- i become an "older" or different layer of self, which somehow "remembers" all kinds of stuff ... that i obviously don't.
that's the only reason i dare to do sessions on people now sometimes (after several friends convinced me), because if it were up to me personally to do that i'd feel i have NO idea what to do and be scared i'll mess up. i keep doing it though because it seems to help my mental health immensely. the way i go into it now is with an attitude of "ok, here are my hands, YOU (whoever "you" are) do with them what apparently somehow they're meant to do (sometimes)" ... like, i just let this other force operate through me.
still, even after accepting this and doing it from time to time so the spirits don't haunt and bug me (aka i don't get depressed), part of my mind -- i guess the part that's a scientist -- craves to understand what the heck is going on here actually.
at the same time, i admit i'm scared of that stuff. in part.
i guess i'm mostly scared of going far off the road of "sanity" (although i don't define that conventionally, but still ... i do sometimes feel that there is a danger messing with that stuff, so while it does have a fascination to it i try to only go into it as far as i'm really "asked" to in a way).
hm. i got rambling a lot.
thanks for your blog links. i'll certainly be curious to look into your approaches.
i've also just started writing down some of my stuff down (sensitivityisstrength.wordpress.com), while i'm obviously in the middle of the journey i feel that i've pulled myself out of quite a mess and some of the insights learnt may be interesting/useful too.
since atm i'm basically quitting my career path (PhD studies, always assumed i'd stay at uni) and looking for something new, it's actually crossed my mind to launch into this field, although it's certainly the craziest imaginable change to everyone who has known me probably. hm.
all the best to you