Empaths with chronic pain issues?

JustMe
JustMe
@justme
3 months ago
25 posts

I'm curious to compare notes with empaths who have their own chronic pain issues besides picking up on the pain of others. Do the people in your life who have their own pain issues ever think that your pain is actually their pain that you are picking up on? I don't know if I worded that very well, so I'll explain.

A little background . . .

I have Fibromyalgia and osteo arthritis. My wife has Rheumatoid Arthritis. Sometimes we both tend to have flares at the same time. I think that is partially due to the fact that we generally follow a Paleo-type diet and avoid foods that are known to cause inflammation, and if we go "off diet", we do it together, so therefore we often flare together, also.

When my wife and I are flaring at the same time, if I mention that I'm having back pain, for instance, my wife will say, "Maybe you're feeling my back pain." She doesn't mean this in a minimizing way. I know her heart, and she isn't the type of person who would ever try to make someone else feel bad. If anything, I think she is trying to make me feel better; that I'll feel better as soon as her flare is over. But I trigger, and the child inside of me feels as if other people don't want to allow me to have my own pain. I explained this to her and she told me she won't say that anymore.

I know that probably sounds silly, but it makes me curious if anyone else's loved ones ever say similar things. If so, how do you respond to it?


updated by @justme: 09/15/19 07:18:59PM
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
3 months ago
1,438 posts

@JustMe,

     I wish I'd seen this thread before I explained all about the sensory symptoms of fibromyalgia in your other thread, lol! Besides fibro, I also have osteoarthritis and a whole boatload of other stuff. My husband has osteoarthritis and sciatica. I used to feel like he was having a pain contest with me, so I think I understand where you are coming from.

     Neither of us can do the paleo diet. I tried, but my husband won't even try. In my case, I was a life long vegetarian and have to force myself to eat animal products at all now that I need to do so. I admire your ability to stick to it. I have a friend who says the similar whole 30 diet has eliminated her osteoarthritis pain, so she is staying on it forever. 

     For the past several years my husband has pain meds and I do not, so I tended to think his complaints were exaggerated, and I would resent him, until I read a recent article about how men and women feel pain differently. Women have a much higher lifetime  burden of chronic pain, and feel more pain from minor surgeries, but men feel more pain from things like colds and flus and from major surgeries. I guess the "why" of this will come from further research. I find that I am more compassionate now and just keep reminding myself that none of us really knows what is going on with someone else. It sounds like your wife cares about how what she says affects you and understands that you are an empath. I think that's half the battle....

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
3 months ago
1,060 posts

@JustMe :


This is a good thread topic. You'll find the majority of empaths have health issues. I have frequent stomach issues that include reflux that I can't seem to solve. Since the solar plexus chakra is the emotional chakra near the stomach, it is believed that emotional energy overload leads to stomach problems. And I have found stomach problems to be fairly common amongst a lot of empaths. I also get headaches from energy tension, and I get run down and start to catch colds and flus easily at times.


I think for many of us, managing pain, injury, and health conditions is a side effecr of being an empath.

JustMe
JustMe
@justme
3 months ago
25 posts

Thank you for the replies, @cheshire-cat and @hop-daddy! (Sorry I've been slow in responding.)

@cheshire-cat, the Paleo diet isn't for everyone. That's fascinating about men and women feeling pain differently. I kind of think that even outside of the gender category, we all feel and process pain a bit differently from the next person. There are all different variations on not only pain tolerance levels but pain threshold levels, too, as far as how strong certain types of pain need to be before we feel them, and then there is the variance in how well we tolerate it. It's pretty interesting stuff, I think.

@hop-daddy, I think you just solved a very big mystery for me. I've been dealing with afternoon headaches that can become severe (or can go into migraines) at times for years and I've been confused as to what has been causing them. I get them at work much more often than when I'm not working. I've tried altering what I'm eating, turning off fluorescent lights, and even got new computer glasses that block the blue light. I use a computer at home as much as I do at work, so I knew it wasn't the computer work itself, but I had come to the theory that it could be the computer work under fluorescent lights, but my new glasses didn't stop the headaches and neither did turning off the lights at work. Bingo, though - it's the people! LOL. I need to be around fewer people to reduce the headaches. More reason to stick with my work-from-home plans.

I don't want to be an empath. I wish I could opt out of being an empath and just learn how people feel by asking them, like everyone else does. There should be an opt-out button somewhere.


updated by @justme: 09/04/19 09:22:38AM
Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
3 months ago
1,060 posts

@justme :


I notice that a lot of female empaths have migraines and general headache issues. I also can get either a pinpoint headache pain from a busy empath day. I also get heavy headed where I feel so exhausted that its hard to hold my head up. That's usually a sign that I'm at the empath burnout point and need some sleep and grounding.


For your people headaches, I strongly recommend that you try protection stones. They work great for me and a high percentage of empaths. These stones help block/limit people energy away from you so that you are not as impacted by people each day. The best stones for this in my opinion are black tourmaline, black obsidian, black onyx, hematite. I wear a bracelet with the aforementioned stones. And I also have a pouch of other useful stones in my pocket at all times. They are difference makers.


We've all been where you're at where you don't want to be an empath and want someone to take it away from you. In fact, I would say you're at phase 1 of being an empath where you get confirmation of your empathy and really don't like the challenges and side effects that come with it. Phase 2 is learning how to ground and learning some of the tips and tricks out there (like crystals and stones), to help you manage the energy you take in. And then the rest of the phases are about learning about your other psychic gifts and how you can help, heal, and influence people's lives in a positive way. If you spend time learning and mastering all of this, there will be a time in the not too far away future where you will be proud of your gifts and feel blessed that you have them.


P.S.-If you have a work from home option that could help a couple times a week. And a smaller work group could also help. Except that you have to remember that all it takes is one emotional or eratic co-worker to wipe you out with their energy. But no one wants to be a lonely hermit so it's important to learn how to survive and thrive around groups of people.


updated by @hop-daddy: 09/04/19 03:36:01PM
JustMe
JustMe
@justme
3 months ago
25 posts

@hop-daddy, My wife is a lapidary artist and we literally have piles of rocks all over our house! LOL! I read your post to her and she handed me a small slab of black obsidian, which I've been holding all evening. I've been interested in rocks and crystals and have kept a bowl of tumbled stones for many years. I have a little drawstring pouch of crystals in my purse and I used to carry several in my pocket all the time. I do have some black tourmaline and hematite, which I'll add to a pouch with the obsidian and I'll start carrying them every day. Right now, the only black onyx I have is set in a ring that my mother gave to me. It was a gift to her on her 16th birthday (she's 87 now). The stone is loose, so I'm not wearing it until I can get it fixed so I don't lose it.

Thank you for all the things you said about the phases of this. It really means a lot to me that you and @cheshire-cat have been taking so much time to talk to me about all this.

I don't have the option of working from home for my day job, but I've been working toward what I hope will enable me to start working from home in about a year or so. Since I was about 8 years old, I wanted to make my living as a novelist and I've been writing for most of my life, but always managed to let too many other things get in the way of writing for a living. So anyway, I've been putting my effort and focus into writing in my off-work time and I am hoping to be able to write full-time by this time next year.

Does a pinpoint headache feel like an ice pick to the brain? I get those sometimes. And the exhaustion . . . um, yep. I totally get that, too. A lot. 

Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
3 months ago
1,438 posts

@JustMe,

    Have you seen a headache specialist? Pinpoint headaches can sometimes be cluster headaches, which are a specific type, usually caused by food intolerance, especially to chocolate. There are treatments to cut them short, if that is not the issue. 

sher_ellie
sher_ellie
@sher-ellie
3 months ago
8 posts
Oh yeah, I have chronic back pain since the age of 19 and really strong headaches since I can remember really. My mom has early on arthritis and it's been a little hard to express how much pain I'm in when I know she's in a world of pain. About a year ago she had a really bad flare up that lasted for a long time and she barely left the house in six months because of it. I think it's hard for me sometimes to deal with her pain..I kind of minimize it in my head so I can digest it. I don't pick up on people's physical pain as much I pick up on people's mental state which most times isn't the best when they're in pain. This thread is really interesting, I didn't know that many empaths dealt with chronic pain in some way. I personally find that smoking CBD helps a ton with grounding yourself mentally and muscle related pain. Honestly, it has changed the quality of my life immensely and I can sleep so much better at night. It does "deafen" your empathetic muscles but that can be a lifesaver when your partner or someone super close to you is having a hard time mentally (I should add that I obtain it legally and almost all of THC is removed as per the law in my country)
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
3 months ago
1,438 posts

Hi sher-ellie,

     I am really glad CBD helps you. I could not begin to afford a high enough dose to get any results from it. I have read raves about using it for Fibromyalgia pain.

     I can relate to not wanting to end up in a pain competition with your mom! My husband has bad arthritis and sciatica, and I have fibromyalgia and Lyme arthritis. it can get tough when you are both in a bad mood due to unrelenting pain. 

     Has your mom tried an anti-inflammatory diet? Many alt. med. docs say inflammation is the cause of arthritis pain. I can't seem to make myself stick to that type of diet, but I have a good friend who has gotten complete relief from arthritis pain, lack of energy and brain "fog" by going on the Whole 30 diet plan, which can be found online. It is hard to stick to but she is on her second month and says she will never go off it since she feels so good. It may be worth trying if she can stand to stick with it.

sher_ellie
sher_ellie
@sher-ellie
3 months ago
8 posts
Hey @cheshire_cat thanks for replying,
Yeah, I definitely get that higher dosage CBD is expensive for most people's pocket. My mom has tried to do the keto diet, I don't know if she saw any results because we're a carb-loving family and she didn't stick to it nearly long enough. I will definitely look into the correlation between diet and flares. I will bring it up to her though, I don't think there's any danger to trying the paleo diet if it might merit results
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
3 months ago
1,438 posts

The anti-inflammatory diet I've always seen is no trans fats or Omega-6 oils, no sugar, no alcohols, and no dairy or grains. Not quite as strict as paleo, so maybe she could stand it for at least a week to see what happens.

I have eaten dairy at almost every meal of my long life and was a lacto-vegetarian until I got Lyme disease, and I just cannot force myself to eat a lot of flesh. If I get any sicker, I will have to try, but it will be hard when my spouse will not do it with me.

I have tried no grains and no sugars, etc. but kept the dairy and it made no difference for me. I did try no dairy about 30 yrs. ago when lactase pills had not been invented yet and I was diagnosed with IBS, but I did not give up any of the others, having never heard of any of this back then, so I got little change and have never given them all up at the same time, which is what has to be done, darn it all. 

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
3 months ago
1,060 posts

@justme


That's great that you already have access to some of the stones I mentioned. Here's an article that you may find interesting about all of this:


https://www.crystalhealingforwomen.com/crystals-for-protection/


You also need to clear any stone that is new to you (clear out other's energies). And then 2-3 times a week you will need to re-energize protection stones as they get weakened while in use protecting you. Here's an article about that:


http://www.thehoodwitch.com/blog/2014/9/18/crystal-cleansing-101


And as for sharp pin-point head-aches, I think we're talking about the same thing. Just a sharp throbbing headache that is hard to shake. If you feel this way at the end of the day or after being in an intense emotional environment, you are most likely dealing with emotional energy overload from the day. Take an aspirin or tylenol and get some personal time to relax and ground and you'll see those go away.

JustMe
JustMe
@justme
3 months ago
25 posts

@cheshire-cat, I have noticed that I have issues with some foods. The diet we are on that I've been referring to as a Paleo-type diet actually is called AIP (Autoimmune Protocol). It's essentially Paleo minus some foods that are usually ok on Paleo but are known to cause inflammation for some people. It's an elimination diet, so after you are on it for a while, you can start to reintroduce some of the restricted foods (one by one, very slowly) and then add them back to the diet if there is no reaction. You end up with pretty much a Paleo diet, minus anything that you still can't tolerate. Chocolate is one of those things that is a reintro food and I do seem to still be having a problem with it. For me, though, the reaction seems to be more mood-related than physical, although I've never gotten to a point where I feel consistently ok physically, so I can't be sure yet. lol.

@sher-ellie, Thank you for mentioning CBD. My wife and I have had great results with it. We use a convection vape to vape it, and we also make a homemade tincture in oil. I hadn't thought of CBD deafening the empath muscles, but I would find that a welcome thing, honestly, sometimes. lol. I will give that a try. (I don't use it nearly as often as I should, really, but I will pay attention to the energy I feel in the future.)

@cheshire-cat, Are you in the US? We've ordered CBD flower from a place in Oregon where they grow it organically and test it regularly to make sure the THC levels are at or below the legal level. They have several different strains, some we liked a lot better than others. That seems to be a personal thing as we all respond differently. I don't know if we are allowed to put links to businesses in the forum, but if you'd like to PM me, I'll be happy to share their name and URL. I'm not affiliated with them in any way other than as a customer, but they have really reasonable prices.

@hop-daddy, Thank you for the info about clearing the stones! I read it after I got home yesterday, with a headache. I had just figured maybe it would take time for the rocks to help or that the headache was caused because I was around more people yesterday than usual. I used the dry-salt method on the rocks overnight last night and today I do feel a bit "lighter", if that makes sense. I'm still questioning everything and being a bit of a skeptic at this point, but I hope this feeling can continue and even improve more.

I ordered some small beads made from each of the stones that you recommended. I'm going to make two bracelets so I can wear one while the other is in the salt and I'll manage to always have one with me that way. Except for when I'm in water . . . not sure how that would affect them.

Fortunately, when I get those ice-pick headaches, it's a short-lived pain. It goes from zero to 10 for maybe 5 or 6 seconds, then goes away. I've been attributing it to inflammation because it seems to happen when the inflammation in the rest of my body is high. Hopefully that will improve, also.

sher_ellie
sher_ellie
@sher-ellie
3 months ago
8 posts
Wow, will definitely google the diet plan. My mom will probably have already read about it, I bet. She's constantly trying to learn how to manage her pain. It's been a couple of years since her diagnosis and we're still learning how to move forward to make her life more comfortable. And I have a pipe for my CBD, joints are out of the question for my pocket. When you use a pipe or a vaporizer, you use so much less product and get the same results. I get that it still is a relatively expensive thing for a lot of people though. In any case, I don't know if it exactly "deafens" the empath part of me, I just notice that I'm so much calmer and I don't pick up on strong emotions as much.
JustMe
JustMe
@justme
3 months ago
25 posts
@sher-ellie, If you or your mom are on Facebook and would like to learn more about the diet, there is a group called AIP Elimination Diet Support Group (Autoimmune Protocol). They have 46,000 members. It can be overwhelming, but they have a lot of great info there.

I notice when I use one of the CBD strains that really works well for me, my anxiety is less. I'm more able to acknowledge it and just let it be.
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
3 months ago
1,438 posts

@JustMe,

   Yes, I am in the U.S. I tried 5 different types CBD, most were the highly recommended ones by companies that do independent testing. Cost was $100 for 100 caps, but starting dose was 6 caps per day. NO way I can afford it and it had no effect that I could see even at 6 caps per day. I use other supplements for anxiety that work better for me, though it's still not enough sometimes. I use all of the following: Tryptophan, Ashwagandha, Oleamide, and Magnesium Threonate. 

     I will look up the AIP diet, thanks. I've done elimination diets that take months to do, and pulse test diets, and had two sets of RAST blood tests for foods done several years apart with no positive results. I am lactose intolerant, but take Lactaid to make up for it. 

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