Am I an Empath? how definitive are the online tests?

TonyRN
TonyRN
@tonyrn
one month ago
17 posts

Over the years I have occasionally had someone tell me that I'm an Empath, usually someone I only knew in passing if at all.  Recently someone I respect told me that she is an Empath and that I probably am too.  I promised to research it and I did, found some online tests/screening tools and tried those out.  They were so easy to take as the answers were pretty definite, if I'm to believe any of these tests and information about traits of an Empath, then am indeed a flaming Empath. 

It would explain my blistering social ineptitude, it's bad enough to make friends and career a real challenge sometimes/quite often.  Some days I just cant bear the idea of being around people at all.  Without recapping all the material I have read I can say that it matches me to about 95%.  I have never experienced any connection to someone distant as some others have claimed.  Everything else seems about spot on.  The BS meter is the true gift, but so far the rest of it seem to be more of a curse in day to day life.  I was mostly holding it together before, but an onset of Fibromyalgia seems to be exacerbating every aspect of this already tricky "gift". It's been much easier since I have learned to trust my gut and stop ignoring red flags.  I've also had to make some serious adjustment to my expectations of people in general.

Is there any other way to interpret all this above data that I used to self-diagnose being an Empath?

There is no way to switch it off, is there?

I hope to learn from others here, seems like the pieces are starting to fall together, like finally I can make some sense of why I am so damn different. I'm not enough of a people person for this to be a good thing, or so it looks from here.

Thanks for enduring my rant-clad questions, I thought I had some serious stuff wrong with me for many years, but this really could make so many things easier to understand.

TIA.

michelle
@michelle
one month ago
179 posts

@tonyrn Hello and welcome to the EC! Be patient; others will be here to greet you....I have more time on my hands than most. Thank you for your opening post.

I've never bothered with online checklists of 'are you an empath." I've always understood that I knew what people were feeling or experiencing, from a very young age. So, the concept of being confused about it is foreign to me.

There was no internet for info and people didn't talk much about such things. The only place I heard the word empath was in a 3rd season episode of the original Star Trek series, in 1968, titled, "The Empath!"

I am also more extroverted than most empaths...some of that comes from how I grew up: large family, moved about every 2 years and parents who welcome all our friends in our home. But I also think that it is ingrained in my personality. However, as much as I liked people, I needed downtime away from others which I refered to as detoxing myself from them.

I'm not saying it was always easy being an empath; I felt their distress in my body and was easily hurt by what I sometimes picked up.

The one thing that was constant was that I saw the gift as one of service. People familiar and unfamilar sought me out to listen and I was ready to sooth or help others in distress. Plus it was an edge I had in understanding others and what motivated them. When you know what they are feeling or that they are hurting, you are able to be less judgemental of behavior that would leave non-empaths confused.

Empaths are healers at an energetic level although most that I helped probably just thought I was being kind. The bs meter is true as I would feel quite comfortable calling some out and I get mixed reactions to this. One would call this mirroring truth to others. It depends on how open they are. A closed mind can be very defensive.

Fibromyalgia and similar syndromes appear to be common to many empaths. I think this comes from taking too much of others' engery on. Plus I believe we are very sensitive to the outside environment of the collective conciousnes, the earth herself, all creatures non-human and such. Learning to ground yourself and energy medicine is most useful to empaths. Other members here all have their favorite methods and will be willing to share those with you.

Alot of empaths have other psy abilities but if you don't that's fine, the empath gift is much to handle.

My best advice is to be gentle with yourself and if you feel out of sort with feelings and thoughts question if these are really yours. 'Know thy self!" is an axiom empaths should hold dear to themselves.


updated by @michelle: 04/12/19 05:59:25AM
michelle
@michelle
one month ago
179 posts
@tonyrn

I would be remiss to not mention that Elise has a section: Free Resources for Impaired Empaths. Go to the menu link, top your left corner and hit, Help link. She also offers other services.
TonyRN
TonyRN
@tonyrn
one month ago
17 posts

I want to thank you for the responses. I do seem to fit into the dysfunctional part of the spectrum in spite of some coping mechanisms I have sorted out. Most of how I cope is avoidance, and it works. I have been and continue to read up on survival and coping techniques. If I may be honest I'm pretty skeptical but for lack of any other explanation I am going forward. I may no longer claim to have an open mind if I exercise contempt prior to investigation. 

The whole concept of "Empath" makes the most sense in the absence of any other explanation.  Besides I know that dogs are empathic, so why not some people. I would be uncomfortable if I had to argue this in court, but I am convinced that there is something to it and it probably fits me.

I'm still not entirely sure why I'm here, not sure what my goals are. I'm happy as an introvert and living remotely, so not in any hurry to change that. Perhaps I'm curious how this could be a gift, perhaps It's self-discovery, I can use knowledge to make myself a better, more functional person. Maybe this understanding will make me better able to help others.  It's mighty confusing to not like people and feel a compulsion to help some of them at the same time.  Looks like I probably have a lot of stuff to sort through.

Thank you for taking the time to shed some light on this. 

Zacharias
Zacharias
@zacharias
one month ago
180 posts

I'll explain my experience. Lets see if you relate:

As a kid I thought everything was normal. I grew up in a tough neighborhood. We did a lot of fighting. I fought differently than most. I would stop when I saw the panic in their eyes. this was my first clue. I had invisible friends, not imaginary. People thought me quirky for it. I knew when people were lying. Even we no else did. Clue 2. I had issues being around people and would spend my free time alone mostly fishing and being out in nature. As a teen I would hang out with narc type kids that drew me in. In my late teens I started acting more like an empath. I had many parties at my apartment. We had the cops called on us a few times. I loved having so many friends, but at times I had to hide in the bedroom closet to get away. I was getting overwhelmed. Clue 3. At 21 I was watching Star Trek and identified with Deanna Troy, but simply thought this can't be a true thing. It was science fiction, not science fact. I keep this idea in the back of my mind for a while. When Curt Cobain died I talked to people about him being an empath and actually said out loud that I could be as well. Still I didn't want to believe it. I was in a punk band and did not like being on stage. I didn't want to be the front man even though I sang and wrote the songs. It didn't go anywhere because I couldn't deal anymore. I withdrew from the world and ran off to mexico. The idea was to find a cave and live there for the rest of my life. This was a dream I had to live alone and stop being this social person anymore. I came back to the states with a girl I met there and married her. We lived in a small town where she grew up and I did ok there. We stayed for close to 20 years. The town thought I was strange because I kept to myself. At about 30 I actually looked up the word empath on a search engine and was hit with all this information that explained so much. I knew at this point it was real. I couldn't deny it anymore, yet I still doubted it. There were things that happened that I couldn't explain any other way that convinced me. At that time I began practicing defence techniques(shielding, grounding) and was becoming more social again. I felt I had more of a handle on what was happening. It's not an easy journey. It was this curse for so long that I hated it. It wasn't until I fully accepted it that I started to heal. It's like a disability that you have to plan your day around. I didn't want to think about it. I wanted to be "normal".

I now fully accept it and function extremely well. I have 100's of friends. I still suffer through life. I still need my alone time. There are things I simply can't do because I'm Empath. I'm not normal, and I don't care. I like what I am because of what I can do. My perception of the spirit world has been heightened and I have "psychic" skills no one else does. People think I'm super cool because of what I do for them. The truth is I'm no better than they are. I serve them. It's my divine purpose. This fulfills me. I have joy because it. The key was to completely accept it.

TonyRN
TonyRN
@tonyrn
one month ago
17 posts

I never had a clue, at least not one that I recognized.  I always knew I was different, a misfit among misfits even.  My mother told me that even as a small child I would pretty much melt down in crowded places.  I'm not sure my aversion to crowds and most people has an etiology in possibly being an Empath, but it is starting to make plenty of sense. All I have recently read suggest that there is a probable/likely link.  I'm 50-ish now and It's only just very recently started to figure it out. During adolescence I just though I was a loner, a non-people person.  I highly suspect I would still be an introverted loaner even if not Empathic.

I experience "people pressure" when I'm in public. I explain this to those close to me as the feeling of a deep dive to the bottom of a lake. I feel the pressure on my body and my head, it just continually presses until said pressure is actually audible. The deeper I go the light fades and is replaced by cold murky depths and I can feel the pressure in the center of my brain.  Being in public is like that, there is always a basil pressure but throw in a few extra people or some mild/moderate traffic for maximum effect.  It takes days to recover from that. 

I relate to wanting to go live in a cave.  I was born in a horribly overcrowded city in SoCal, I was maybe 6-8 before I realized that this was not where I belonged and not much longer before we bolted to rural South Dakota.  Western SD was not so overcrowded back in the late 70s. When I was a younger man (1989 ish) I moved to a Metro area on the west coast to take advantage of an opportunity. It was not a mistake, the diversity was fantastic but the crowds were soul crushing.  So you have moved past the part of wanting to live in a cave, but I'm still there. In fact when this last snow melts I'll be back on my bike headed back to southern CO/Northern NM again looking for remote off-grid acreage along the high desert.  I've always known I would end up off-grid at some point. Thankfully I can use my RN to earn in places where jobs are scarce and land is cheap. I will likely capitalize off of someone else that bought land to live off-grid, but didn't do the math first.

I'm grateful that you took the time to share, I can relate to a whole lot of what you wrote.  I need massive amounts of alone time to detox from people. I'm very happy to be alone. It's not painful or distressing in any way. I'm ready to accept it and learn to live with it, but my goals are not to have many friends or be able too live in a populated place, rather make it tolerable when I do have to go to town or take a job/assignment. When I'm out riding the plains I experience true inner peace and tranquility, an ease and comfort that I rarely find outside nature. The Fibromyalgia has been making working extremely difficult so between these two issues I have some sorting to do.  At last I should say that I'm grateful to not be terminally ill and I have been blessed in many ways in life, so I'm hoping I don't sound like I'm playing a victim or whining needlessly. On the contrary these sets of issues I have are pretty light and I'm grateful for what I have and what I've been spared that others have endured.

I guess now I should continue to look at some of the tools and learn more. I'm not able to open some of the resource pages here, probably a script that my browser objects to, it's pretty strict in that regard.  I'm about to head to town and see my friend that nailed me as an Empath, this has been one heck of a year for self-discovery!

Thanks to all the help and guidance, glad I happened upon this forum.

Zacharias
Zacharias
@zacharias
one month ago
180 posts

Most male empaths don't discover it until latter in life. I fully relate to what your saying. I just drove through the Davis mountains down 60 wishing I could stay there. I plan to take my bike there this year. Something about it is drawing me. My brother was talking about Telluride. Sounds wonderful.

I haven't given up the dream of a cave. I've carved out this cave in my mind 1000's of times. It's in a forest in the mountains. Just me and my horse. I'm one these people that can walk into the woods with a pocket knife and stay for a month. 

I don't like having friends. It's a responsibility I don't want. I really only have one true friend. A fellow empath who's dream is to live in a cabin on the ocean shore alone. After all the difficulty being around people we just want a rest. I wish people were not so critical as to believe I'm anti-social. It's not really true. I just need to be alone to recover. If I don't get one day a week in my sanctuary I go a little nuts, like I am right now. If I could I would stay for years. I did in the past. I want to make a living carving stone, metal, wood, stuff I can sell, and have as little interaction as possible. I'm getting more sensitive as I get older. I'm close to 50.

The times I've been freaked out in traffic make me weary of driving into town. I get about a 3 hour window to do what I need to do. I had to move away from Houston because of it. I broke down a few times. I just cried and screamed. Houston is a horrible place for an empath.

I smoke a lot of weed. It dulls my senses. Helps me cope. It isn't for everyone. I would rather not because I like being fully sober. I quit now and then for the fun of it, but I always go back to it eventually. Things get way to intense once it leaves my system. I can tell after about 60 days and rush back to it. Well, now we have CBD. I can't believe we just discovered this. My Aunt uses it for Fibromyalgia. She is a big marijuana hater so it took her awhile to find. Now my most of my family uses it. 

The tools seriously help. I have a room full of crystals and carry stones with me. I shield myself around others and ground out the energy that builds up. People would think I'm New Agey if they knew. I'm not, just practical. We do what we have to do.

Yes, we suffer, but it can get better. We can be stronger. It's not about me anymore, it's about them. I rely on God to help me find the strength to continue. I really don't care about this life anymore. I've given it up to be used by Him. I want to be one with the Infinite.

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
one month ago
1,020 posts

@tonyrn

I would add that sometimes empaths are switched on or awakened. Sometimes it is switched on after a tragic event or accident. But other times it can be switched on for no identificable reason. That later is what happened to me about 4 years ago. Prior to that I did have some psychic things pop up throughout my life but it wasn't evident on a daily basis back then. And then all of a sudden one day during a time of stress it was all switched on.

There's no off-switch that I am aware of. But even better, you can learn to ground out unwanted energy and return yourself to a happy balance. Are you familiar with the grounding process that is really important for empaths?

TonyRN
TonyRN
@tonyrn
one month ago
17 posts

@zacharias

I can relate to so much of this. Especially the responsibility of friends, it's a challenge. I've had to adjust expectations not only of friends but family. People are quite a bit less disappointing when expectations are nil.  I've also had to cut out anyone that brings drama, that included several family members as well as friends. This has been a happy experience, not hard or difficult.  Likewise I've had to look at myself and make sure I'm not guilty of the very things that drive me nuts about people, some adjustments had to be made.

Sanctuary time is critical too, I'm good to go to town 2-3x/week max and I've gotta keep it under 2 hrs, and outside rush hours.  I do live in one of those towns that seems more toxic than most, lots of road rage and public rudeness. I can melt down in traffic pretty easily so I gotta watch it. I have no coping mechanism for that other than avoidance and a bit of extra HP.  For each trip to town I need at least a couple days to recoup.  After reading all about what an Empath goes through I'm pretty sure it's been with me as long as I've been alive, but the Fibro is relatively recent and it seems that the two have some sort of cumulative effect. 

When you say weed works I know that you are right.  I started using it to treat Fibro for lack of any of the indicated meds being effective at anything other than profound side effects.  I used to smoke back in the 80s as a youth, then I quit for many years, a friend that could see I was suffering dropped off a little care package and while it's not a magic bullet it is by a landslide the most effective thing I have tried for the Fibro, I was already well into my 40s by then.  I does seem to work to dampen the people pressure.  I think the empathic traits go back to my earliest memory, and maybe thats why the cannabis was so effective before. It's pretty well known that cannabis treats Fibro, but what a boost that it helped with this empathic thing that I never realized I had.

BTW, I really like the cave idea.  While there seem to be some band-aids for this the only true treatment I'm aware of so far is avoidance.  Not an option for everyone I know but it's doing the trick for me.  I felt so good when I went to CO, I had to get a long ways south of Denver/Springs area for the air to clear, but when I got close to Alamosa and along the extreme southern edge of CO it felt like home.  Even Cripple Creek, stunningly beautiful, had to many people, but I wanted to see it being a fan of "The Band" I felt I owed it to myself to have a peek while I was close. Folks in southern CO seem somehow compatible with me. I plan to go stay in Ft Garland for awhile in the next few weeks and get a better feel for the community and the NM high desert.  Wanna to make sure I get the right acreage.

If I may be so bold there is one thing that jumps off the page to me, you seem to experience Houston the way I experienced Seattle. I moved some 50 miles away to rural Snohomish County but I had to move again in a couple years. The masses caught up with me in no time flat.  Are you sure your far enough away from Houston? I still had toxicity from Seattle and I was nearly 2 hrs away. If I even see a major city on TV my blood runs cold and I have to look away.  It does rack my nerves, even if just on TV.  

When I read your last two paragraphs I had to wonder if your still too close to a metro area, I could feel the words as I was reading them.  If I may be so bold, the things you describe seem all to familiar to me.  I had to get much further from Seattle before I could stop feeling the effects of it.  Of course then I had no idea bout being an Empath, at least now I have some understanding of why even one county over was not nearly far enough.  Seattle has an overwhelmingly high-strung, uptight displacement that seemed to spread all over the western part of the state, very toxic indeed.  I seemed to instinctively know that I had to go... far.  It cut my earning potential in half but was well worth it.  I honestly believe had I stayed I would probably be in jail now. 

@hop-daddy

Now that I'm reading and understanding I think it's innate and was fully awake throughout my life.  The issues have been long standing, it really does explain so much, so well.  I didn't figure there was an off switch but I had to ask.  Aside from a finely-tuned commercial grade BS detector this has not been a good time.  In retrospect I think this has helped me to be a better nurse when working hospice and long term care.  Boy it would be nice to have a toggle switch with this! I think I need to read more about grounding, sounds like it might help.

Thank you both!

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
one month ago
1,020 posts

@tonyrn:

I thought I'd add that it's very common for an empath to choose a profession that includes helping and healing others. You being a nurse is a perfect example. But the downside of that is that hospitals are tough places for empaths to be exposed to. People go to the hospital to get critical help in hopes to heal and reclaim their lives. Many go there unknowingly to die. All of that creates a lot of low energy vibes in the hospital from the patients and their families. As an empath you're going to absorb a lot of that low energy and it will sink your vibration. When your vibration lowers, you'll not feel well and will be an emotional mess depending on the severity of the energies you absorb. When you start saying things like "Some days I just cant bear the idea of being around people at all", that's your red flag warning that you have been swamped with low energy and have empath fatigue. When this happens to me I know I need some self-care and to ground that unwanted energy out of me.

A lot of empaths hold on to low energy that they take in. And frankly, that's poisonous and very unhealthy. So while step 1 is recognizing you are an empath, step 2 should be to learn how to ground low energy out of you. Grounding is the process of releasing all that pent up low energy that is bringing you down. As you push that low energy out, you will feel lighter and happier. And this is what I mean when I say "balanced energy". When you are your regular happy self, you are balanced. When you are sinking like a stone and can't stand to be around another person due to being all filled up with low energy, that means you are out of balance and out of your normal high vibration range.

I don't want to flood you with too much since I remember being where you're at. And you're swamped with all this info. and trying to understand it all. But when you're ready you're going to want to learn more about effective groundng techniques and the usefulness of crystals and protection stones. I'm happy to help explain all of that when you're ready.

TonyRN
TonyRN
@tonyrn
one month ago
17 posts

I had turned wrenches and operated a tow truck before becoming a nurse, I was alone in the truck, made lots of tips and met lots of ladies. It was great! During the rotations I had done in nursing school the long term care rotations were easily my favorite. Always more rewarding then stressful/taxing. Those patients that lived through the dirty 30s are generally humble and much less entitled.  Hospice is something I would LOVE to do again, and long term care are completely different and a great match for what I have to offer. Generally these facilities are more relaxed and a better fit.

My last few years as a nurse were private-duty 1099, much better. When I worked in facilities (one exception) I had to deal with a lot of drama, smack talking, back biting, power struggles, politics and enough venom and vitriol to intoxicate a mature rattle snake.  I'm used to coworkers having ups and downs but nothing like this, ever.  If I had a few more years left I would go to law school and become a mens/fathers rights advocate, it would also be a fantastic way to help children without having to deal with them. I think that was my actual calling and I missed it.

I'm happy to say that a lot of the Empath information I find pretty intuitive, I feel as though I'm understanding it well since it's something that makes huge chunks of my life and self make a whole lot more sense.  I'm still learning about specifics and variants of Empaths, I'm not psychic, I cant see or feel ghosts.  I think I read about "precognitive" that fits fairly well, along with dysfunctional.  I'm ready to understand grounding and mechanisms. 

Would the fact that I'm highly defiant tell us anything about any of this? That goes back to early childhood and still thrives in probably unhealthy proportions.

Do I need to narrow down what kind of Empath I am to properly formulate the best coping mechanisms? 

Is it possible that I have some ability that I have no idea about, possibly muffled by my healthy skepticism of most things?  Any way to tell if that may be the case? 

Once again, thank you.

Zacharias
Zacharias
@zacharias
one month ago
180 posts

I'd say you fit the profile pretty damn well. I wouldn't worry about what kind of empath you are. We all have all the gifts. We're strong at the ones we practice. Even if we don't know we're practicing them. 

I think we get a little defiant because of all the lies we are told. They still tell the same lies to kids today. I see it from the parents perspective now, but in watching other parents do the same things adults did in my day, I so want to take kids aside and say to them "It's all bullshit". It really is. I can only deal with for so long before I resist and call them out. 

Oh yes, you definitely have abilities you don't know about. Your a mech. I bet you have what is call analytical awareness. You know machines intuitively. Think about it. 

TonyRN
TonyRN
@tonyrn
one month ago
17 posts

I was Dx with ODD when I was but a wee lad, maybe 5-ish.  Mom took me to a leading child psychologist way back then because apparently I was not an easy child.  I do believe the defiance is innate, it goes back to my earliest childhood memories.  I think these other factors you mentioned keep it alive and well.

What your saying, I know it's true and believe me sir, I have to bite my lip plenty!  I wont lie, I'm quickly annoyed by kids but I care deeply about their well being. I had to teach mine shame, loyalty, honesty, promptness, integrity and kindness, and give them the knowledge that they will witness a disturbing lack of it in the real world.  The old narrative left the building with Elvis. I don't like it but that is the reality. 

When I was a child my favorite toys were Legos (I still have totes of them), anything under the tree best be Legos or have wheels. I was not even 10 when I could identify just about any car part, I could see the headlights way back in the dark and accurately identify make and model. I had to take stuff apart to see how it all worked and always loved getting my hands dirty. I could explain the difference between 4 stroke and 2, and how a rotary engine worked long before I was old enough to drive. I'm not claiming to be a master tech but I certainly hold my own. I guess now I know that there is a word for it.

Machines and animals I get, I'm quite comfortable around either. It's people that keep me guessing.

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
one month ago
1,020 posts

@tonyrn:

In response to: Is it possible that I have some ability that I have no idea about, possibly muffled by my healthy skepticism of most things? 

As you accept and learn more about your empathy, you'll likely see other abilities open up. I like to explain this like when you go to college you have a major and a minor. You major in empathy but will likely have 2-3 minor abilities that will show. And with work you can strengthen those. 

Here's a link taking about the various Clair skills that people have. In time you will likely find that you have a hidden but natural ability of one or more of these:

https://www.psychic-readings-guide.com/list-of-psychic-abilities/

To your question: Do I need to narrow down what kind of Empath I am to properly formulate the best coping mechanisms? 

I would say no to that right now. For example, if you start to see or hear an occasional ghost. I don't think that will bother you enough to want to limit that skill. However, if it does come on like a storm then you may want to get some advice on how to limit it. I went through a phase where I was getting bothered all the time by ghosts. And it was interrupting my sleep so I did some research and found some coping tools and options. But empathy and your psychic skills are seeded in your chakras (this will be a topic you'll want to research). And sometimes certain chakras can be open too wide and cause a psychic skill or two to come on too strong. The same with empathy. We often refer to this as turning down the volume on a skill that is overwhelming you. Just like when listening to music too loud it can be a little hard to take after a while, the same is true here.

In response to:

Would the fact that I'm highly defiant tell us anything about any of this? That goes back to early childhood and still thrives in probably unhealthy proportions.

I find that most empaths are very old souls. And being an old soul is kind of like experiencing 100 years of college and then being thrust in to a world where most people only have 4 years of college. You're on a different level at your core. Old souls know things through many lifetimes deep down that cannot be explained by modern science. Empaths are also typically very truth and justice based people who get upset when they see corruption and deception in the world. I think this can lead to defiance because you feel that you know better and don't want to follow the lead of someone who is flawed.

Great questions. As you ask and learn more you're going to notice that all along your life had the framework and pattern of an empath.


updated by @hop-daddy: 04/19/19 09:01:49AM
Zacharias
Zacharias
@zacharias
one month ago
180 posts

Wow, @hop-daddy, once again you have a great way of explaining things I can't quite pin down until I hear you say it (so to speak). I'm about to go to the church council and call them all out on what they're doing. It's corruption and it affects the entire church. I won't have it anymore. I may end up losing the best job I've ever had, but I just can't let it stand. Thanks for the pep talk.

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
one month ago
1,020 posts

@zacharias, thank you. I'm happy to help any way I can.

As to your situation I would add that we empaths are very sensitive and can be hot under the collar and sometimes over-react. I have found from my own mistakes that sometimes when upset it is best not to lash out then but to instead take a day or so to calm down and let my rational side catch up to the emotional side of my brain. I don't know is this at all helps you. But I've done better holding myself back since I know I'm prone to over-reacting. Good luck!

TonyRN
TonyRN
@tonyrn
one month ago
17 posts

@hop-daddy

Thanks for the link, it was good reading. Claircognizant sounds pretty close. I tend to get flashes of stuff that I cant interpret but it leaves me with a clear gut feeling that I have come to know not to ignore.  It took me a long time to realize it is dangerous to disregard a gut feeling or a red flag, it's just to easy to rationalize a bad idea.

TonyRN
TonyRN
@tonyrn
one month ago
17 posts

What helps with the sleep?

Do some of these grounding techniques help? I thought Ambien would work but it is surprisingly ineffective given how many folks I know that swear by it.

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
one month ago
1,020 posts

@tonyrn:

I was amazed that once I accepted and bought into this empath stuff how much my skills materialized and strengthened. Expect that to continue. And over the coming months and years you may get surprised with some completely new skills that come along for you.

Grounding techniques will help calm your mind and ready you for sleep. But I take a sleep aid each night so that I can get a better chance of sound sleep.

I have never personally taken Ambien. But it is well known that alcohol and drugs dim and even shut down your empath skills. So it is possible that Ambien may have similar effects. Maybe others who have used Ambien can share their experiences. But as an empath you have a very busy mind. You have the part of your brain that handles all of Tony's life, and the other part that is the empath receptor and analyzer. And a lot of empaths have a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep due to a very active and often stressed out brain.

Whenever I am going through a really rough time I find OTC Benadryl really knocks me out and allows me to get a full night of sleep. You can find this at every store under brand names like Tylenol Simply Sleep etc... But Benadryl used daily is not healthy so I keep that as my "break in case of emergency sleep solution". What I do use daily is a melatonin based product. I find it works well. Here's a link:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B06XYVBW5F/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

TonyRN
TonyRN
@tonyrn
one month ago
17 posts

The skepticism is wearing off some, it just makes too much sense to deny.  It will be interesting how this morphs now that I'm aware of it.  I'm still not sure if I want to muffle it or see what happens if I explore it.

I've tried I think all the OTC sleep aids. I always think I've got something that finally works, but they loose effectiveness pretty quickly, usually within a week or so.  The Ambien knocks my ass out but it doesn't keep me out, which is the problem I have with virtually anything for sleep I have tried.  Amitriptyline does still work if I take enough of it, but the next few days after using that and I'm assured complete and total exhaustion, not enough energy to do anything. After a week or so of not sleeping I'll sometimes bring that out and knock myself out but good.

I was doing alright until then.  It's hard to sleep with the flight of ideas and racing thoughts that just wont stop.  I had some trouble sleeping before, but with the Fibro onset it became a real issue, and remains so today.  Maybe some grounding is going to be necessary.

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
one month ago
1,020 posts

@tonyrn:

For whatever reason, this is your time for your empathy to be front and center in your life. When that happened to be I kept trying to deny it and push it away. I was a big skeptic. And no matter how hard I tried to shrug it off and ignore it, the empathy kept coming through to the point where I had to face it head on. And that was a turning point for me as facing and accepting it helped answer a lot of questions and puzzle pieces in my life. I would say for you there's no hurry. Question and examine everything. 

We did a community poll about a year asking our fellow empaths how many had insomnia and/or inconsistent sleep issues. I believe we were over 90% saying yes. So you're not alone. My own personal onservation is that when I'm stressed and not grounded, I have sleep issues. And when I have better weeks and do a better job monitoring my health state with consistent grounding, I sleep very well. The mind calming and clearing that you get through a solid grounding meditation is especiallu good before bedtime.

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
one month ago
1,020 posts

@tonyrn:

Here's a good place for you to start for learning grounding and calming techniques. It sounds like you could benefit from "turning down the volume" before bedtime.

https://www.eliselebeau.com/free-empath-survival-program

TonyRN
TonyRN
@tonyrn
one month ago
17 posts

@hop-daddy

My first reflex is to push it away and just remain skeptical, but I sort of figured this wasn't one of those things I was going to be able to get away from.  Once I read the descriptions and traits of an Empath I knew it was innate and there was no getting away from it.

I'm anxious to turn down the volume, where I sleep there is no noise or neighbors.  The loudest thing I hear at night are the owls.  I dont know why I'm waking up at night and unable to go back to sleep, what could I be picking up out here in the sticks? Maybe residual volume.

Is it silly to think that I might be picking up something from prey animals?  There are so many delicious things made out of meat in these woods.  We have some impressive predators too.

I've been trying to follow that link but I cant get there. I think my browser sees a tracker and stops it from loading.  I'll play with the script blocker tomorrow and see if I can see whats actually stopping it from working.

Karen2
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
one month ago
1,006 posts
Hi. I Knew even before the internet and these tests were available that something was off with me. I didn't need a test to tell me that...lol...it just help to be able to put a name to it. And know that I'm not alone in dealing with this. So really, that's all those tests do. Is give you a place to start. You know in your heart you are one...its allowing yourself to relax about it and going with the flow to see where it takes you, that can be difficult at times...lol
Karen2
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
one month ago
1,006 posts

Another thing you might wanna think about is being over stimulated by man made emfs. I've been having trouble with this., too. I never had trouble with this before, so was skeptical about such a thing. But I'm discovering that I'm way more sensitive to the invisible waves of energy coming from all my appliances, electronics, and barcodes. I've been experimenting with shielding myself from these emfs and been noticing my house is much quieter after turning stuff off and getting rid of the barcodes. Now everytime I step outside THAT feels louder than inside my house...


updated by @womanwhowalks: 04/24/19 03:48:12PM
Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
one month ago
1,020 posts

@tonyrn:

Sleep issues for a new empath is another confirmation of what you are. In fact, if you weren't having sleeping issues as a new empath I would be surprised. Here are a few thoughts on that:

1) As I've noted, empaths all have different skill sets and ernergy range sensitivities. Some empaths mostly feel people energy when they are in close range (like in a home, in a building etc...). While others also feel energy from across town or even across the world. Quite a few empaths on this site have been so connected to a family member that they will pick up on their pain energy from 10,000 miles away. So it's all over the board where you can get it from.

2) A high percentage of empaths are night owls. I personally feel a caffeine like jolt after about 10PM each night that makes it very hard to get sleepy later when I do want to go to bed. The theory on this is that when the world is up and awake, our empath minds are very busy receiving and assessing human energy signals. It can be very exhausting. When people go to bed their conscious minds shut off as they drift off to dreamland, and your empath brain is dealing with a lot less signals. Instead of being exhausted, we become energized and happy late at night as humans switch off. In my case my mind and body are feeling a great weight shifted off me when others go to bed. And it feels good and I want to stay up and get some "me time".

3) Empathy is all about managing energy. When you take in a lot of people energy, that energy has no where to go without you directing it. Some very experienced empaths are adept at blocking unwanted people energy. Others are good at immediately pushing unwanted energy out of their bodies just as fast as it came in. But for the rest of us, we have to practice grounding where we at the end of the day go through a process of pushing that unwanted energy out of us (through meditation, salt baths, and a variety of other methods). If you go to bed with all of that energy bound up in you, it's going to preoccupy your mind and keep you awake. 

4) A newly realized or awakened empath is usually going to have chakras that are too wide open. That means that you are taking in too much people energy (also know as "having the volume on high"). This causes wild mood swings, sleeplessness, anxiety, and depression (to name a few). Through grounding meditations you can learn to push unwanted energy out of you while also helping realign your overactive chakras. This brings you back into balance and makes it easier to be out in the world. And sleeping soundly becomes much easier.

On another note, there are definitely people with psychic abilities that allow them to comunicate with animals. That's always a possibility. Although my guess is that you're going through pretty typical empath energy overload. Especially with all the people you interact with at your day job. We just need to get you to start grounding yourself and you'll feel a lot better. 


updated by @hop-daddy: 04/24/19 04:18:23PM
moonshine
@moonshine
one month ago
70 posts
Hi @tonyrn is it you that has fibromyalgia or someone around you?

I know someone who has this though I don't see them day to day, as a woman I guess my experiences will be different from how male empaths experince things?

The person I know who has fibro I kind of got into lots of complications with still trying to work through that.. the strangest thing is when I'm around this person and she's conversing we can have general discussions but I feel like I don't want to offer her any sympathy; I don't know why that is, I'm actually not much of a talker but I do like to listen alot regardless if a person's good or bad, that's usually if they're within a social network otherwise intend to stay away from I don't really know, though regular bouts of confusion don't help being an empath or a day dreamer I tend to lose track of conversations pretty easily, but I wondered if thats not just me?
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
one month ago
1,396 posts

@tonyrn,

I didn't have time to read his whole long thread, so please forgive me if this is repeat info....One of the diagnostics for Fibromyalgia is  the presence of the alpha-delta sleep anomaly disorder, which involves awakening at the end of each sleep cycle of about 90 mins. or so. The very first research done on Fibro at McGill Univ. confirmed this by hooking up med students to EEGs and waking them up at the end of each sleep cycle. This caused Fibro symptoms in all of them by the 1 1/2 week mark. 

Some fibromyalgia specialists think beating this is the key, and I agree, but after 35 yrs. of fibro, I've not been able to do it, since heavy drugs are not prescribed any longer, and most are not on the market. With amytryptaline, watch out for weight gain as it can be dramatic as I found out the hard way. It only works for 15% of us, so if it helps,  that is great. Benadryl is even worse than Benzodiazepines at destroying your memory and is now proven to cause dementia. I had to take Benadryl to get off the bentos and it has made my deep sleep and memory problems even worse than benzos did. Dr. Jacob Teitlebaum, author of From Fatigued to Fantastic has a website with a SHINE system for overcoming the sleep disorder and other problems. Ime as a support group leader, his techniques work best for those with mild Fibro (those who can still hold a job). He uses integrative medicine to treat people, so you get the best of both worlds. 

I turned out to have late stage Lyme disease also, and have developed several other serious problems as a result, and I now have 4 sleep disorders. However, there are some things that help a lot you may want to try. Magnesium threonate - one cap at dinner, 2 at bedtime =total dose 2,000 mgs. daily. L-tryptophan - up to 3,000 mgs. as needed during the night. Melatonin - 1/2 mg. doses as needed during night, but not w/in 1 hr. of sunrise. I would avoid herbs that are as addictive as the benzo drugs and it goes w/o saying to avoid benzos at all costs...they are harder to get off of than heroin and destroy deep sleep! Ambien also does that, and so do the other Z-drugs. 

I agree that fibro and empathy often go together. Fibro is an epigenetic illness, which runs in matrilineal bloodlines and is then triggered by stress, trauma, or illness. The #1 trigger is whiplash injury, causing 41% of fibro cases. I firmly believe that learning what sort of environment empaths need to live in and doing your best to make that happen for you will greatly help your fibro. 

TonyRN
TonyRN
@tonyrn
4 weeks ago
17 posts

@womanwhowalks

I have noticed the as time passes I get more sensitive. EMFs are an interesting concept, and it also makes sense. I'm ready to try some different things, things I would have dismissed before.  When I was young I always knew I had "pieces missing".  I was always different and socially handicapped but never knew why. I just honestly thought I was broken in some way.  Even though now is fairly late in the game I'm thrilled to be here, and to have some real understanding of what the heck I'm made out of. Thank you for the EMF mention and relating your experience, it gives me more ideas.

@moonshine

Yup, that is me with the Fibro. Also a close family member suffers quite a bit with it. I'm not real sure I experience it much differently than her, we both got it and many of the symptoms are similar. Mine manifested later in life after a shoulder injury that kept me pinned for a couple years in intractable pain. Dr explained why I had this new rush of symptoms after the frozen shoulder cleared up on both sides. He explained that I've likely always had dormant Fibro, but often a physically or emotionally traumatizing experience will wake it right up if it's there in a person. He treats others in my family and is well aware of my family Hx of Fibro. 

As far as loosing chunks of conversations, I totally get that. I had a conversation with my psych prof about it. Her explanation is that people can only speak so many WPM, but we can think many times that which means as someone is speaking to us we have other ideas and threads running concurrently. I'm a big daydreamer so I can be sent down a completely different road by one or two well placed words.  I find keeping conversations brief helps, also I have a pretty good idea for those that are not compatible conversationalists.  There are many folks I really respect and like that I cant talk with for long because my brain is all over the place. I then feel like I'm being unfair to them. When I'm talking to others and they wane I can feel it, so I quick adapt, but I don't hold it against them, I understand quite well.  It's not just you by any means, I feel it and I see it in others besides myself too. I was diagnosed with severe social anxiety just recently,  just before learning that being an Empath may play a big roll in that. That anxiety (and accompanying racing thoughts) can make listening a very hard to master social skill.  This existed in me long before the Fibro Dx.

@cheshire-cat

I love this info, it's about how often I'm up on an average night.  it's enlightening to see that Fibro has a row of reserved parking here.  I'm probably beyond mild, right now I would find it impossible to hold a job as I never know when flares are coming. Some of them are so bad that I'l be in tears just from the feeling of my clothing on my body. I've tried everything I can think of to sleep, not just pharmaceutical interventions but everything.  Now here on this forum I've been given some other ideas and so much perspective.

" I firmly believe that learning what sort of environment empaths need to live in and doing your best to make that happen for you will greatly help your fibro." this encompasses exactly where I am. Now learning how the two Dx interact, there is a lot of overlap.  I know the sleep is critical. So far my coping mechanism is to cycle through sleep aids and techniques hoping to get the right one for the right time. Anything I do will loose effectiveness within a couple nights so I have to shift often.  I'm a real believer in the psycho-semantic link.  This is still met with skepticism in some corners of health care but I'm an avid believer in the holistic approach.  I figured this out when I realized that simply laughing with patients and bringing a little levity seems to often have a fairly profound effect on the physical ailment and any comorbidity.  More fantastic info. Thank you!

@hop-daddy

1.  Makes sense, as far as I know I get folks nearby.  I get mighty anxious when I'm near many.  Maybe when I remove some dulling factors I'll see more.  I have read a lot here bout how things like sleep aids can dampen the empathic attributes. I guess none of that helps one realize the full extent of their empathic abilities.

2.  Total night owl here, and you are correct on all counts in my experience.  Also with the caffeine. I LOVE THE STUFF! But even a couple cups in the morning will keep me awake at night. Since Fibro my caffeine tolerance has crashed. One delectable latte' can destroy my nerves for at least two days.  I always thought I liked to shop at night and work evening shifts was just because I never adjusted to be functional in crowds.  I guess that is still true but at least now there is a plausible explanation for it.

3, 4.  Agreed, seems to be exactly what I experience. Also agreed that I must focus on how to deal with the energy.  All that energy is just overwhelming, I should not be so happy to figure out why I am this way but it's pretty darn hard to compensate for an issue that one does not even understand. I've been thinking about some of the things mentioned earlier in this thread about crystals, stones or other shielding methods.

I only go to town 1-2x/week and that is overwhelming. If I had to show up for work every day I would probably melt down within a week.  Just the traffic would lay me out. I held it together somehow before, but after the Fibro onset things became very unpredictable and holding a job is quite difficult.  I'm optimistic that I'll get this under control at some point soon. I'm aching to get back to work, just not aching to interact with others so much.

Thanks again to all who have shared.  This has been very enlightening. I feel like I have some understanding of why I am the way I am. With that and all the suggestions here I think I stand a great chance of regaining some functionality.  You all rock! this has been infinitely helpful and I suspect it still will be. Seems I'm at the beginning of a long road, but I'm cool with that, at least I have some idea which way to go.

I cant thank you all enough.

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
4 weeks ago
1,020 posts

@tonyrn:

I should add that empaths quite often struggle with illness. We think it's because we are moody as a byproduct of who were are that when we spend time in low vibration our physical health suffers. I am lucky enough to be pretty healthy. But I will say when I go through stressful, low vibration periods I seem to catch every cold & flu bug in the tri-state area. I also know that we have an amazing capacity to heal others and ourselves. But we have to be in high vibration for this to work best. And to be high vibration and at your best, you have to ground out/push away that low vibrational energy that you take in each day.

And I wanted to add that it seems just about every time I comment on a post that people with fibro come forward. Does anyone know what the deal is with empaths and fibro? Any known connection @cheshire-cat?

Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
4 weeks ago
1,396 posts

@hop-daddy,

     I am not aware of any actual studies on empaths and fibromyalgia but it makes a lot of sense. Hypervigilance is a major feature of both. According to Dr. Devin Starlanyl, at least one Amer. Indian tribe confers automatic Shamanhood upon any member who develops fibro. They consider it a gift. I think most of us with fibro would welcome that, for the validation alone.

     However, having run a fibro support group for 14 yrs. before I had to quit, I have met many people with fibro who are not particularly empathic or observant. So, it is not a 100% match up. I also wonder how many people are misdiagnosed, as I have met people who were told by docs they have fibro, when they do not even meet the basic requirements of the diagnosis. I think some docs just want to be rid of a "problem" patient. In two cases, I knew I was being lied to by people who wanted to say they have fibro, rather than face their true diagnoses.

     As a physical empath, I would guess that may be the connection. People with physical empathy would be more likely to get fibro, imo, as long as they have the genes for it, and unless they are aware of being empaths very early on and can learn to adequately clean out the negative energy and illness vibes they pick up. 

    I have questions about that also. From the point of view of my therapist background, people who convert physical illness vibes from others into physical illness in themselves should be expected to be high on the hysteria and conversion scales. I cannot speak for others, but my scores were very low on those 2 scales. I can only postulate that empathic illness has different mechanisms of manifestation than pure conversion, which often takes emotional symptoms and converts them into physical ones. I would only be wildly guessing as to what those were.....sorry to raise more questions than answers!

moonshine
@moonshine
4 weeks ago
70 posts
What is EMF?

Caffeine is good but strengths/quantity can increase paranoia, thoughts, adrenaline and withdrawals can cause anxiety like symptoms. So watch out for that. I used to drink loads many years ago, even worse on an empty stomach.

Sleep is something I've been struggling with also, not consistent at all, pharmaceuticals do help but can cause addiction, plus the doctors only prescribe for a certain amount of time anyway untill they force one to come off, eventually people seek out holistic/natural remedies.
moonshine
@moonshine
4 weeks ago
70 posts
I wanted to ask you @tonyrn why would you think you were handicapped or something? That's pretty harsh to be on urslef?
TonyRN
TonyRN
@tonyrn
4 weeks ago
17 posts

@moonshine

Coffee has been one of lifes simple pleasures for as long as I can recall, but it works badly with the Fibro, or at least I noticed it's amplified effect after the fibro onset.  Anything more than half a cup is gonna be a problem so I generally just pass on it.

As far as handicapped, I know I'm socially handicapped, that goes way back.  Dealing with people is a protocol many have that I'm simply missing. Even when I try I just come up short, I'm not angry about it anymore, it just is.  It's been inconvenient but all things considered I'll take the social ineptitude, as long as I can still see, walk and wont die early then I feel gratitude above all else.  All that I have been learning lately just makes so much sense.  Learning about Empathic traits has answered so many questions for me.  Finally some of the pieces are starting to fit.

@hop-daddy

I'm checking into high and low vibration, its the first I'm hearing of this.  The more I read the more I see parallels between Empaths and Fibromyalgia.

moonshine
@moonshine
4 weeks ago
70 posts
What are the parallels you are noticing with the coffee and fibro?

What does fibro feel like? I have read up on it, I'm sure I experienced someone's fibro in my own body and i think the person that I know who has it was diagnosed after a karmic stint. To me it felt like a bright light inside my whole body.

Though I do love coffee myself, I'm not a heavy drinker as I was in the past, toffee/caramel/mint are my favourites

I've tried Turkish in the past with a friend and it tasted like an Ash tray lol no disrespect.. some coffees are absolutely lethal I stick to lattes they seem the friendlier versions, when I'm out I always ask my friends what strength is the coffee first.. I tried mocchiatto once cause it was cheap and to just fit in with a group and dear lord help me it was vile 😭🤣

Never again, I do love the frozen ones I tried it after I heard something one of the cute guys from the group b2k liked it lol I was never a social person, someone who suffered with an eating disorder will avoid all social events wherever food is mentioned at all costs even probably go into meltdown and anxiety on how to avoid the situation... the whole time in the past I'd be thinking how many cals in this, how am I gonna burn it off,
TonyRN
TonyRN
@tonyrn
3 weeks ago
17 posts

@moonshine

With the Fibro, the effects of the coffee are amplified somewhat, but the frazzled nerves are quite amplified and the feeling lasts a while.  I love Turkish coffee, that stuff gawtz backbone! Also, your fav choices, very sound! I also ask the strength, if I'm not getting at least 3 shots in a 16 oz drink then I pass, If I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it right haha.  I drink coffee now only on occasion, and I pay the price every time.

Fibro seems to come in flares, so if I'm not in a flare I can get away with it. If I am in a flare then the coffee is a hard no, the price is just too high.  If I'm in a flare I'm probably uncomfortable enough to not drive unless I reeeeally have to.

As I have been reading, I see others with Fibro also have trouble with coffee, not only as it pertains to sleep disorders, but to just how ragged out it can make one feel. I guess the best way to say it is now I'm far more easily "strung out" on the coffee, if that makes sense.

If I'm somewhere I know I'm going to get a damn good and proper latte' then Im in, regardless of the price to be paid.  The Fibro seems to have just enough hooks in just the right places to be a real problem.

moonshine
@moonshine
3 weeks ago
70 posts
I don't know how you can enjoy Turkish coffee but good for you, that must play havoc? I mean with fibro and coffee completely opposites? I can get nervous sometimes but it doesn't bother me as much.

People used to say coffee can interfere with sleeping patterns but it's never happened to me

Just something you said reminded me of rag n bone the music artist he has a few songs I like, so your into rock/punk/metal etc? Most empaths turn to music and stuff for healing and sometimes just for the pure love of music, have you always been into stuff like that?
TonyRN
TonyRN
@tonyrn
3 weeks ago
17 posts

Any coffee can wreak havoc, the stronger the worse.  I've probably dialed coffee back 95% since my peak (1-2 latte'/day, often 4-5 shots each).  I also figured out I was blowing $350+ each month on coffee.  I still drink coffee occasionally because it is part of the ritual we have when we do go into the hills or into town, but I'm down to 2-5x/month if counting drip coffee.

Excessive coffee (used to be a regularity for me) could make getting to sleep harder but I was still managing by not drinking too late in the day. After Fibro it's pretty harsh, not the same experience at all. If done to excess it's more like a bad trip and less like pleasant cup/s of alertness.  

Music is one of my main coping mechanisms.  Lots of folky classic rock but mellow classical and jazz now make the roundup.  I love me some country but I think it died with Cash. Modern country grates on my nerves the same way pop/top40/hiphop does.  The right music is a great way to shut off the outside world and get some calm back.  I have always loved music, even as a youth.

One other thing I did that resulted in less stress at home is I fired Direct TV, aside from Prime, Netflix and stand alone internet I have nothing. The lack of advertising has been amazing. Simplicity is amazing!  I guess I never realized what a profound effect removing annoyances like adverts has had until I'm in someone elses truck or house.

I guess I was looking for ways to cope, just didnt know what I was trying to cope with until now.

moonshine
@moonshine
3 weeks ago
70 posts
Wow doesn't seem like so much until you add it up I suppose. Simplicity isn't always simple it also has its advantages and disadvantages.

There's always lots of ways to cope sometimes in times of need or peak of that moment it becomes unbearable , it's easier said than done, haha besides coffee know how many times I thought about hitting the bottle to cope with stuff, like so many times I'd think about ways to sneak past and make sure no one noticed or how I'd hide it but guess it never turned out that way. Since I had members to be mindful of. But that doesn't resolve anyone's problems, can make things worse if anything.
TonyRN
TonyRN
@tonyrn
3 weeks ago
17 posts

Simplicity for me means I've cleared stuff out of my life that doesn't need to be there. Complicated people included.  Mostly it was little stuff like zeroing out lines of credit, elimination of car/bike/truck payments. Cut cords so elec and internet only household bills.  Just simple stuff, I have so much less to worry about and do and it does help to clear my head. I'm still gradually getting rid of stuff, decluttering and simplifying every aspect of life I can think of. The cumulative effect is really something worthwhile.

Simplicity is not always convenient, but usually more so.  For me the advantages are vast and I'm seeing very little disadvantage.  I have a long history of making things harder than they have to be, this is a nice change and it really does make a huge difference.  Simplicity is much more affordable too.

Coping is an ongoing thing, but simplifying has made a significant difference for me. It seems like time to learn some other coping methods as well.  I found a way into the help page here so I'll go and give that a good read. I had to use a less secure browser but it will get me in.

Sorry about my delays all, sometimes I have to wait for privacy and internet at the same time. Rural internet is lots of things, but fast and reliable it is not.

Thank you, everyone helping, so very appreciated!

Snap
Snap
@snap
one week ago
108 posts

Is there a way to shut it off?

For me, yes. It's very simple, in a way, but often tricky in practice.

We can sense others' energy but we can also sense our own. Sit in a somewhat meditative way and feel your own energy.

What I've learned of myself is that I sense energy most where I focus.

What I do is focus inward, particularly toward the heart area. I focus on my own energy. If I'm around someone anxious or controlling, I do this to 'switch off' the incoming energy. It's effective for me. I need to go against my desire and instinct to focus on another, but the interesting thing is that people don't realize I'm focusing inward. At some level they may realize I'm not paying as much attention, but that's nobody is ever offended. You can focus on yourself energetically and still listen to what others say and so on, but the sights and sounds are backgrounded.

With respect to being out around lots of others, I think there's a lot of conditioning around this. I'm very selective about being around other people in public spaces. I'm quite happy to limit the amount of time I spend. There are so many people who 'spray' energy and emotion around, or react to things, or worse, focus 'intrusively' on others. It can be unpleasant and I've learned I don't miss being in various public situations too much.

But certainly I can sense my own energy in the same way I sense others. And I do so when there's tension or discord in the air. I don't always have the discipline to do so, however most of the time I am disciplined, things are fine. If you're like me, this sometimes means 'disconnecting' from someone's unpleasant vibrations etc, and the conversation/interaction may have to politely end. But why put up with another's unpleasant emotions unless you really must, for some reason?


updated by @snap: 05/18/19 11:42:23PM
TonyRN
TonyRN
@tonyrn
5 days ago
17 posts

@snap

That is an interesting way to look at it. I have had an opportunity to try some of the volume techniques I read about on the help page.  I can see where it might work but I guess I need more practice.  I had to go to town during rush hour and rescue a car and tried everything I knew, including Ativan.  I'm still not there, I guess it will take a great deal more practice to get the hang of it. I can become a wreck just anticipating a trip into town a day ahead.  I then have ample time to dread it, it's probably worse to know ahead of time if I must go, but I have to get psyched up for it or it just wont happen.

I have been using avoidance to the point that my earning potential has suffered. It's all I have that works until I master some of these other techniques.  Inward focus is another thing I can try.  I'm probably very lucky to have only a couple times a week (or less) where I need to be around others,  I strive for minimal time with Joe Q. Public.  At this point it seems like a daunting task to reach a place where these coping techniques become effective but it's nice to have things to try.


updated by @tonyrn: 05/21/19 06:36:56AM
Zacharias
Zacharias
@zacharias
4 days ago
180 posts

I was hoping you would see, @tonyrn, that we don't have to avoid the world. My income was less than half what I make now while I was hiding from it. It's still hard, but life is hard for everyone. We have to be stronger than they are. I believe the reward is greater because of our struggle. 

Snap
Snap
@snap
4 days ago
108 posts

@tonyrn

I tried techniques, and I'm sure they can help used well. Remember this though. You, like me, have an unusually strong capacity to sense energy. This is a strength. I'm learning it's much more of a strength than I understood. It's taking time, though.

Everyone and every'thing' is vying for attention, for focus, all the time. I'm trying to make my default focus on my own energy field. I have a long way to go. Still, I regularly bring focus back to my own field whenever I think to do so. In doing so I tend to 'zone out' just a little, with a tendency to for the eyes to focus less, I believe reflecting less focus outward.

I feel certain people's energy so strongly it can be very uncomfortable. This is the toughest time to focus on my own energy field. It seems to be tougher only because I feel I am somehow being rude to people (including loved ones) to not focus on them. If you're anything like me, seriously, you won't realize your focus is outward till you bring it to your own 'field'. Then nasty energy drops 90% ... at least for me. Then my focus goes back outward, and the nasty energy ramps right back up.

I've found the biggest step is taking the leap of focusing on your own energy right in the midst of a situation. I feel discourteous, rude, inattentive. But then magic happens--the other person doesn't seem to notice and may even seem somehow better for it.

That said, the time to 'practice' is definitely when you're alone. My favorite time is before going to sleep. Wax on wax off. A lot in that silly film. Once you remember how focus works, I believe you just remember.

I've learned my greatest "weakness" is my greatest "strength". I'm just getting more and more fussy about where I focus attention. Do you know the word 'attention' comes from 'stretching toward'. The mind's energy stretches out, literally in my opinion. (I've learned from Rupert Sheldrake in this).

Regarding techniques, I used to follow them too intellectually. I think you have to return to what you intuitively sense and get a feel for it. In my humble opinion, the answers aren't 'out there', they're right 'at home'. I focus on my own energy field first and foremost. Maybe for you something else will bring you back home. I find when I'm disciplined enough to focus on my own energy field, my mind quiets. Not the other way around. I don't quiet the mind to focus on my energy field. Also, I find that once I've focused on my own energy field for, I guess, 30 seconds or more, I generally take a deep breath that is satisfying. Again, I don't focus on breathing first. I just keep focus on my energy field and the breath comes when it comes.

I hear you on pre-empting what is coming up. I used to do this all the time. I still do it sometimes but largely I don't. I've gone through stages. I realized I'm sensing all this energy around me, and kind of felt like it was interesting but also caused issues. I noticed more and more detail about it. Then I started focusing on my own energy and noticed others' kind of disappeared. And I happen to be just as adept at sensing my own energy as others. So I continue to work on making my own energy the default focus, and being more discerning about how I focus outward.

I hope this makes some kind of sense. Best with it, I know how tough things can seem.


updated by @snap: 05/22/19 05:53:46AM
Zacharias
Zacharias
@zacharias
2 days ago
180 posts

@tonyrn- I was re-reading your posts about being too close to the city. I moved away from houston about 7 years ago just to move closer to Austin instead. People are more liberal, generally, and at that time they kept their energy closer to their body. This has changed. They let the political environment get to them. The anger level is much higher now. This is a major challenge, but it just pushes me to consider myself more and pull back from trying to help them as much as I would like. This, evidently, is what I supposed to be doing. I've been at such peace by pulling away. My focus is now on my home and building my spirit. 

No matter where I go people are going to be draining and effect me. If I allow it. I keep my shield up and can ground out anywhere now. It's easier to be in contact with the ground, but it isn't necessary. I've put the weed aside and feel good no matter how many people are around. I think i'm turning the corner and can function much better. I did have to get away from some very toxic people. The people I considered friends hate me now. I really couldn't care less. They were tested and they failed. I know in the future they'll come back around once they understand what really happened. At least the good ones will. The toxic ones I leave to their misery. 

I just want encourage you that you are on the right track and that it does get better. Much better. When we choose to be on board with our divine purpose instead of trying to follow our own plan, things work themselves out in amazing ways.

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