Could the way we define emotions be the reason?

last year
240 posts

Good feeling, bad feeling

We are brought up to recognize certain feelings as good and certain feelings as bad. I wonder if it is because of this that certain difficulties arise.

Good feelings are often also safe feelings. Since the mind has not paired an alert response to most good feelings, we do not become triggered when they arise.

Bad feelings are often a sign that there is some sort of unpleasantness in store. When they arise we become triggered.

Below is an article that briefly goes into how triggers work:

So when I feel sadness, I feel the urge to get away from it. Past experiences have taught me that when I feel this emotion it is because something awful has happened. So I become triggered and once we become triggered we experience our trauma again.

It would be similar for anger, pain, and all the other "negative" emotions. My personal memories of them are not good. So my reactions are equally as bad. I go on high alert.

When feel happiness it hardly registers. In those moments I feel safe. There is no need to be on alert.

As people who take on more emotional stimuli than most, could it be beneficial to change how we define emotion?

The fact for me is that these emotions are coming. The overload has this annoying tendency to be hiding right around the corner. Avoiding never works for long. Grounding is great, but what about those difficult moments? What about the times when familiar techniques just don't cut it?

My goal over this last year has been to find coping strategies that work more consistently for me. What I have been finding is that the more accepting I am of all the emotions flooding my way the easier it is to handle. Lately my view of emotions has been changing.

I find myself welcoming in my least favorite emotions. Treating them almost as if they are lost children who need help finding their way home. I am even beginning to see the benefits of even the most painful emotions.

I think that we cannot view emotional states in the same way others do. We have to learn to feel safe with every emotion because that more apart of us. At least IMO.

What do you all think? Has anyone had similar or different theories?

updated by @crystalsage: 06/14/20 09:29:02AM
last year
1,073 posts
I think that's a journey we all have gone through and will go through and share everyday. I don't exactly think the way you do about it. It's all energy to me. When I dealt with my own emotions and traumas and got to clear out a lot of the build up, it helped me get to that place where I can recognize myself from that energy. I will always be annoyed about the emotions because i can't do anything with a lot of it. But I'm no longer afraid of even the bad stuff I pick up. Although when I walk around my place and encounter spirit energy I still get a bit not emotions because I know it's not mine. How we get to that place is different for everyone. I'm very glad your getting there.
Kate T
Kate T
last year
169 posts

Well, about perception and good/bad. 

It's interesting that I'd rather describe the bad feelings as closed energy or energy not flowing; like a clenched fist around my stomach/chest.

Sending a wish/thought but feeling uneasy in return. It's not about human "walls" however (or maybe it is) but about situations. You ask yourself if you should do a certain activity or go to a place, you literally picture it, so to be clear, without any out of the ordinary or "psychic" intent to it, but what everyone does when talking about a future maybe-to-come activity. And sometimes and especially in my case, you have these very peculiar hard feeling coming back from sending that thought, like a fist clenching around your stomach or heart area. 

These are the hardest for me to handle or feel at peace with. I will never in fact put up with them again, or live amidst them, or in places where I feel a weird kind of pressure from sending my usual or good thoughts; it is like I have to do double the effort to get to or reach something. Things become much harder than usual to manifest. Murky energy. 

It is related to certain cities and areas. Or it can be related to activities or things you want to do as I mentioned. 

Naming it "psychic ecolocation" is a fun but close way of describing how it works, if you can put the two side by side, as far as sending and receiving (or not being able to tell what you receive except that it's not flowing through and it feels like a clenching fist) goes. 

These feelings do absolutely not reflect that everyone will have a bad time doing that certain thing or being in that specific place. They might however. But we all do different things and have different "resistance" levels. However it does usually indicate a problem of a more spiritual nature with that place or concept. It can be personal or collective. I used to think I am mistaken just because others can't feel it, but i've come to realise most people grow unaware of inherent issues as they get placed lastly on the priority lists and bring a small gain in the present. A very small gain in my opinion. The "clenching" feeling reflects stress that will come on myself that does not fall well with what is going on in my life at present, despite sounding fine from a logical point of view.

Now about coping

The best way of improving myself or getting out of a "cycle" is simply human interaction and actions. I won't even go to saying nature or "cleansing" traditions :), but those as well. It refreshes your mind or perception/ability to protect yourself from something entirely, when you do something for someone you love, maybe to just improve yourself, like for something you are truly interested in, apart from creating healthy habits like the 3 meals per day and getting a fair amount of sleep. To give an exact example, it can help modify how you perceive a trip to somewhere that previously you thought of as murky. 

But this means however is you are borrowing from others, it does not necessarily speak of the problem having been solved; and on your own after breaking contact with those people, you might return to not liking the idea once more. I find that interesting.

updated by @kate: 01/17/19 05:27:46PM
last year
266 posts
Ahh, triggers, how well I know them. They can be related to so many things for me and my body registers them all as stress....pain, sounds, humidity, physical exertion, and of course emotions mine or another's; they all equate to physiological symptoms for me.

Because I experienced severe trauma, physiological symptoms can make it difficult to separate my vs other's emotions/energy. So, the key for me has been to treat my endocrine systems first. And to make sure I get plenty of rest/sleep so my central nervous system can repair/refresh itself, daily. Cooking my own meals and hydration are important too. All this is done to bring my stress threshold up...I had no threshold for stress.

After adressing all that, coping skills can come into use. I find that becoming the observer helps the most. I name what I'm feeling [fear, anger, despair...] and permit myself to really feel it, all the while being the observer. Nothing you're feeling last forever and using this method makes that apparent so you begin to lessen resistance to those states of being and they will disolve much easier.

It takes alot of energy for one to resist and avoid. Observing and naming allows you to become passive to any negative emotions as you realize it's just a feeling and it will need to waste your energy or ramp up your thoughts, neurotransmitters and hormones; nor do you need to brace your muscles against them.

Finally, it once again, becomes easy for me to separate mine vs other's energy. 🙄


I was abandoned by wolves and raised by my parents.

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