I forgot it was supposed to be fun!
Lately life has been a struggle. Totalled my car, was sold a lemon, and essentially have no reliable income. I have gone on several interviews and am still waiting for something to work out.
During this time I have had several panic attacks, and been a walking ball of depression. I have been reaching out for help looking for was too change the energy in my life. Although I was not having any luck. Today while I was reading the book of storms I was practicing some of the techniques I finally felt a shift.
Afterwards a thought occurred to me.
I forgot life was supposed to be fun!
That was why Lao Tzu was laughing, because life is a game and games are fun.
I have been approaching this situation with so much anger and fear. That anger and fear put me in an extremely negative state of mind. This made my energy toxic and I kept finding myself drawn toward more negative situations. I realise now that in order to truly change my energy and therefore the energy I'm drawn to I have to go back to having fun.
I wonder if anyone else has had this experience?
updated by @crystalsage: 02/18/18 06:56:14PM
Recently, I have been trying to rush my accession. I wondered, why can't I see my guides, where are my visions! I realize that part of what was holding me back was that this process is supposed to be full of love! I hadn't been approaching it with love, only with greed because of my ego. I have asked my guides to help me open my heart so that I may feel more love for the process and not just the outcome. So far it's working. I'm learning to love the moment I am in.
In the name of fun I took a bold step today. I posted an ad on craigslist offering meditation classes. I have been feeling so unfulfilled lately with any kind of work that I am doing and I realize it is because I miss helping people. I got the most out of being an empath when I was helping or listening to someone. I realize that my entire life's journey is full of moments when I am helping someone usually with an emotional problem. perhaps it gives me a direct focus for my empathic nature so that I am not just walking around soaking a any energy I come into contact with. It was when I felt the most full of love. Meditation was a peace of cake as well as astral projection, and lucid dreaming. Yesterday during a meditation I realized I had soaked up a lot of hate and it was how I was approaching life. So I gave myself time to release that energy with the help of some my crystal friends and I am still worried but I feel much more determined today to find a solution. I feel like I can be strong. Like I want to be strong and I haven't felt that way for a while. I feel light and happy and sleep is actually sleep. I am relearning how to live with love.