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Very unempathic: venting, getting worked up and upsetting people

Chrisis
Chrisis
@chrisis
2 years ago
102 posts

I'm quite fast getting worked up in discussion, getting stubborn about something, getting loud and into fight mode because I have the impression I will be walked over and have difficulty to wind down again when "started". Can anyone relate? How do you deal with this?


updated by @chrisis: 06/14/20 09:29:02AM
Karen2
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
2 years ago
1,080 posts
Hi. Well kind of. I get switch on when I converse with a narcissist. Its an all out loss of being in control of myself, instant aggression and anger. Which is never mine. It's an energy transference that I can't control. I know how I usually am with a non narcissistic person when in some sort of conflict. When I have no control then it's coming from somewhere else. If you havent done so yet you might want to learn how to clear your energy of connections of other humans. I can feel when something isn't right in my energy, especially when dealing with a narcessist. I have to sever all energy connections to that person before I feel right again. I suspect you have many connections to humans of that sort. I did a complete root removal of everyone I know from present day to my childhood and I can tell you it was a big job and i found so many deep roots embedded in my energy, transferring energy to me via these cords and roots. So a lot of my reactions to situations, my emotions weren't actually mine. It's the only way I could find myself and why I reacted to certain situations the way I did. I clear my energy on a regular basis although not as much as I used to. πŸ™„πŸ™‚
Chrisis
Chrisis
@chrisis
2 years ago
102 posts
Hello @womanwhowalks
I don't know, if this only happens to me when talking to a narcissitic person, perhaps I'm getting triggered by something in certain situations. One of my parents used to wind me up on purpose, perhaps I'm just repeating this setting.
Removing roots is surely a good reminder, I've been neglecting this. Anyway removing roots from childhood on is something I haven't done so far. Should be a good idea, thank you for reminding.❀️
Karen2
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
2 years ago
1,080 posts
Lol...all I mean is that you have links to people who may be linked to narcessists,or you've encountered someone who IS a narcissist and has linked to you without you knowing...or it's a buildup of many connections feeding your energy with information and emotions not yours. Just do some energy work on yourself and find out. Or all the above...lol...
michelle
@michelle
2 years ago
266 posts

@chrisis I'm working on same thing, currently, trying to cut off any reaction from me before it happens.

Working hard to keep the frontal lobes online and not get triggered. Breathing to stimulate the vagus nerve helps much. Can do this w/out the other noticing and I need about 12 sets of in/out.

Honestly, I'm just fed up with loosing energy because another is pushing buttons. Voice in my head is saying, "Don't go there. It really isn't important."

And, "Let them have the last word.".....that stops it in it's tracks.

Hang in there, sister. Your energy is too precious!


updated by @michelle: 09/06/19 10:16:17AM
michelle
@michelle
2 years ago
266 posts

@womanwhowalks said: "I did a complete root removal of everyone I know from present day to my childhood and I can tell you it was a big job and i found so many deep roots embedded in my energy, transferring energy to me via these cords and roots. So a lot of my reactions to situations, my emotions weren't actually mine. It's the only way I could find myself and why I reacted to certain situations the way I did. I clear my energy on a regular basis although not as much as I used to. πŸ™„πŸ™‚"

Can you give me more depth on your proceedure for this? Do you have to bring to mind everyone, one at a time or can this be done all together? I'm in a down phase and my visualization is a bit foggy right now.


updated by @michelle: 09/10/19 07:41:49AM
Chrisis
Chrisis
@chrisis
11 months ago
102 posts

Just came back to this post by accident - and it does fit a situation I have currently. I still havent learned how not to blow up ! πŸ˜…

Will start to work on it right now ...

gothceltgirl
@gothceltgirl
9 months ago
14 posts

Just b/c you're an empath, that's not all you are. I mean we've still got all the other emotions, plus other emotional or medical issues we're dealing with as well. So it's not just narcissists that set me off. I have a lot of other problems too, as well as hormonal imbalances which can present as mood disorders so back when I was younger I was very much a hot-head, as well as being an Aries. I'm so much more settled now. But it's not b/c I don't still feel aggravated, it's more b/c my medical conditions have progressed & made me more tired & therefore have a much more delayed response to things that years ago I'd have flipped out over. I don't know if I maybe read everything wrong or not. But that's my 2 cents, for what it's worth.

I had a boyfriend that could only see the adventurous, impulsive Aries part of me (he's an Aries too), but not the Virgo moon practicality that comes with it. So he insisted that I was a sports car person, despite my protestations of preferring sedans. I also have a practical side & those attributes have probably kept me from getting into more trouble than my other Aries counterparts. Sadly, still don't have a car, despite having been in the 'burbs for 8 mos. now.

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
9 months ago
1,105 posts

@chrisis :

Something to add to this. I have found that empaths break into two types. You have the super senstive empaths who are generally amazing healers who are often oppressed and abused. They struggle from that and are at times low energy and need support. And you have the warrior empaths who are hair trigger ready to fight based on truth, justice, and ethics. The former is often bullied and shy. While the later if provoked, is often in far too many fights with extremely thin skin who will fight anyone at any time. If you are an empath, you know exactly which type you are. It's sewed into your soul, and you are who you are. The way I see it is the healer/extra sensitive empath is vulnerable and needs protection. Like the Queen in chess, protectors are needed. That's where the warrior empaths come in as a ring around the Queen for protection of her and others. I am a warrior empath and my daughter is a senstive type who often struggles in relationships because she is taken advantage of and walked over. But as a warrior empath that will never happen to me. If someone offends me, I'm ready to call them on it (very thin skinned). I'm not a manic, but it is what it is, I welcome confrontation. And fellow warrior empaths will understand this. That's how we are built. You don't take any crap from anyone and like a guard, you don't let them pass, you don't let them hurt others. So I think @chrisis there is a pretty good chance that you're a warrior empath. Embrace it. But at the same time I would say, pick your battles. Try to hold back a bit at times to go to the mat with everyone who offends. I have found personally that from my very presence people will offend and back down when I look them in the eye and I don't react. At that point, you've won by not reacting (even with parents).

TigerLily
TigerLily
@tigerlily
9 months ago
519 posts
@chrisis I am the same way. I havent figured out how NOT to get upset. I am also the type that will hold back on saying something because I know it will upset someone or I just don't know how to communicate it clearly.

One thing I have noticed is everyone wanting facts. At a meeting at work I can actually prepare ahead of time gathering facts, and then I am not upset. Discussions on social media, I tend to avoid in general as this a whole new animal. Seems everyone is angry in these discussions and I avoid all together. No matter what you say on social media discussions someone will assert themselves to their views and basically say your wrong. Then the fighter in you goes into defense mode etc. Along with their angry energy getting into you.
Chrisis
Chrisis
@chrisis
9 months ago
102 posts

Hello @hop-daddy

thank you for your insight. this might actally be the case with me. Although I'm rather trying not to be like this and try to train myself to have "adventurer" (pacifist / trickster) response rather than "warrior" responses. But I really cannot stand unfair situations and get automatically into fight- or protect-mode.

Ruby Fox
Ruby Fox
@ruby-stone
9 months ago
77 posts

Someone once told me my shine is what bothers those in darkness the most. I can see that is the case with everyone here. Another also called me a light-worker aka warrior of light b/c when you come against darkness (which is what many of us naturally attract) there will always be a fight. I will go out of my way to avoid negative people and a friend of mine and I will be driving down a road on New Years Eve just to witness something very negative. I realize a-lot of people get drunk on this day but the drunk can be theΒ  most vulnerable. I saw a teenager about 19 sitting in the middle of a parking area near a busy street while a man screams full blast in her face with a truck nearby. Clearly she wanted to get way from him why else did she run out of the truck in a drunk stupor. Something was wrong she was very out of it and did not respond to him. I hope she was not on drugs. Or he did that to her. She still tried to get way from him. The controlling ego maniac than picks her up but not without trying to embarrass her in public by partially taking her top off. I just had to vent about this. Then he threw her in his truck and drove off. I hope she knew there were cameras nearby. The cops like those. My point is I either witness these things as a light-worker or are around it in work situations (not the drunk part) but Narc colleagues which is why I no longer work 9 to 5 yippee! because I prefer the company of other warriors of light.

Ruby Fox
Ruby Fox
@ruby-stone
9 months ago
77 posts

I did scream out some colorful names at the guy and asked God to finish the light-working job as we drove by.

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