What's the biggest difficulty you are meeting in life with respect to this trait?
I can write a lot about my own case, but was wondering what other people have to say.
updated by @sasha-supertramp: 06/14/20 09:29:02AM
What's the biggest difficulty you are meeting in life with respect to this trait?
I can write a lot about my own case, but was wondering what other people have to say.
Taking over bad feelings and emotions from other people, unintentionally of course. I can protect myself much better now that I know what I am, but in the past, such encounters left me completely confused and heartbroken for days, almost unable to function.
The feeling of being watched. I feel like I'm on stage when out in pubic. I don't believe i'm being looked at anymore than anyone else, but it's hard to shake it off when someone is looking at me as I look at back at them. I can feel their curiosity, or what ever it is. If told anyone this they would say I'm being paranoid. I don't really care if people look at me after all. I get over it by not caring if I'm on stage or not, but it takes a concerted effort.
When it's a cop, or just someone scrutinizing me in some way, it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. I have to recognize whats happening and dismiss it. In the past that kind of judgment has made me nervous to the point where the person scrutinizing feels they must be right. I learned to notice it and act in a way that shows them they have nothing to worry about from me. The good thing about it is I can tell when a cop is checking me out. I can pick up on speed traps before I get to that radar gun. I know when I'm being followed by cops. I still don't like the feeling of having to think about the impression I give others. I end up thinking about it way to much. I just want to go about my life without worrying about what other people think.
Taking over bad feelings and emotions from other people, unintentionally of course. I can protect myself much better now that I know what I am, but in the past, such encounters left me completely confused and heartbroken for days, almost unable to function.
@GardenTiger thanks, similar in my case. I just was never sure what's happening, before I knew about the empath thing I thought I must be projecting a lot of crazy stuff on other people if it can throw me off balance for days. Did you have that doubt too or how do you tell it's different (if you feel like commenting on that)?
To be honest I'm sometimes still not sure which one it is (scientific mind), although numerous people have told me that my energy sensitivity is obvious (and I've verified it often enough, too).
emotions bouncing off from others, then hurting them unintentioanlly
@pinkrose That's interesting, do you mean that you get affected by others' emotions and then act them out and end up hurting others?
I was sometimes wondering if something like that is going on when someone I talk to gets triggered (loses ground/security/falls into anger) and it's as if I automatically feel like that too and then react from that trigger-state.
It's happened so many times that I started to suspect that there is an empath component to it; on the other hand any shrink would probably tell me that I just get triggered myself and that's certainly in part true; but not sure that's 100% of it.
Because sometimes it's really just the other getting triggered and not what they say. Sometimes it's even over text chat and I sense it before I even get the response.
Is that (somewhat) similar to what you meant?
The feeling of being watched. I feel like I'm on stage when out in pubic. I don't believe i'm being looked at anymore than anyone else, but it's hard to shake it off when someone is looking at me as I look at back at them. I can feel their curiosity, or what ever it is. If told anyone this they would say I'm being paranoid. I don't really care if people look at me after all. I get over it by not caring if I'm on stage or not, but it takes a concerted effort.
When it's a cop, or just someone scrutinizing me in some way, it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. I have to recognize whats happening and dismiss it. In the past that kind of judgment has made me nervous to the point where the person scrutinizing feels they must be right. I learned to notice it and act in a way that shows them they have nothing to worry about from me. The good thing about it is I can tell when a cop is checking me out. I can pick up on speed traps before I get to that radar gun. I know when I'm being followed by cops. I still don't like the feeling of having to think about the impression I give others. I end up thinking about it way to much. I just want to go about my life without worrying about what other people think.
@Zacharias interesting, i have not experienced that at all. maybe because of my myopia, i don't actually see half the time people are looking at me (now thinking, or perhaps my eyes are weak in order not to see certain things). on the other hand, i'm queer and often in places where you get plenty of stares for that, so possibly since it's an unavoidable part of life for me (unless i emigrate) i have learnt to tune this out.
@sashaw I felt the same, I only really found out after an encounter last year that got the ball rolling for me, I was with this guy I knew back from my Teen years and after that encounter, I felt absolutely heartbroken and bad for days on end, as if I just had experienced failure of a relationship which I did not. I knew this is the exact thing that my friend was going through at the time though, so I found it very strange that I felt exactly what he felt or was supposed to feel. This is how I ended up in this forum eventually by the way lol, I learned a lot from here and everything makes much more sense now.
In general, asking yourself "is this feeling/emotion really mine?" already solves the issue to 95% for me, as I can distance myself from it then when I feel it comes from some other person. Only rarely it sticks to me over a longer time and I can't shake it for a few days, very nasty when that happens.
@zacharias that's very interesting, I have the same feeling from time to time, especially when entering a building or bar, I feel immediately as intruder and as if I was standing in the spotlight. Protecting myself before this happens has helped me a lot though.
The feeling of being watched. I feel like I'm on stage when out in pubic. I don't believe i'm being looked at anymore than anyone else, but it's hard to shake it off when someone is looking at me as I look at back at them. I can feel their curiosity, or what ever it is. If told anyone this they would say I'm being paranoid. I don't really care if people look at me after all. I get over it by not caring if I'm on stage or not, but it takes a concerted effort.
WOW! Reading your post gave me chills and made me tear up. Not because I'm sad, that just tends to happen when I feel really passionate about something or if something i hear deeply resonates.
I have felt like this for a very long time but it seems to have gotten stronger since discovering I was an Empath and meditating often. I understand attraction etc but I feel like when i catch people looking at me, it's more like they are trying to figure out what or who i am. Almost like a specimen. A few weeks ago, i caught a man do a double take towards me with an expression of surprise/disbelief on his face as if he saw something out of the ordinary. I also get a lot of warm smiles from strangers which is nice. Walking into places like bars and gyms are the worst because i can see and FEEL all the eyes on me. I've always hated being in any sort of spotlight but I've learned to pretend to be oblivious and just go about whatever it is I'm doing which can be difficult but i get through it.
I had lunch with my dad a few weeks ago and mentioned this to him as well and that I sometimes feel like i am being watched/followed. The feeling of being followed has become extremely apparent in the last few months but I'm trying not to become paranoid about it and hoping that it just may be my guides or another explanation. I'm also wondering if as Empaths, we just radiate on a different frequency than others and they can feel or even see it when they look at us.
I got distracted in my previous post and realized i didn't completely answer the question. I would say my biggest struggle as an Empath at the moment is accepting that working for others and the 9-5 life just isn't for me. Being someone who sees and feels everything is difficult when the work environment isn't reflective of who you are as a person. On top of that, everyone including owners and managers want to vent to me about one another which is never fun. Being super aware of everything also puts me in a position where I catch and have to point out others mistakes which I get a lot of eye rolling for.
It's honestly so difficult for me to imagine holding a "traditional" job for the rest of my life despite all my schooling and previous work experience. I have been making the transition into being self employed in hopes that it takes off and i can finally just be my own boss.
@aiden thanks a lot for sharing. i've actually got the same issue, although until recently i didn't realise it's connected to being an empath (or that that's the name for it). i've got a lot of education including in disciplines in which i could get a highly regarded job, but i've never even attempted that because -- it was never quite clear to me, but because working in an office with people around made me sick even at uni. and doing anything when i feel it doesn't have a purpose / is soul-dead makes me sick too (as in, depressed, or i get "random" headaches that stop me from working etc.).
that basically took me out of any sort of career path and made me a hippie trying to live on nothing and working as little as possible in settings that only involve selected, super-friendly and empathic people, or no people at all (working from home). now after i've sorted that this is related to being an empath (perhaps other things, too, but this is one) i'm actually trying to do exactly what you're doing, namely finding a way to be self-employed (well, technically I am but not earning a sustainable income with it yet).
anyways, i wish you good developments on your path in that regard!
@aiden - I'm with you on not wanting a 9-5 job. I've had to learn many skills in order to keep from having to get a "real job". Having your own business is a lot more work. You have to wear many hats, so to speak, and solve problems on the fly. I pray that you do get out on your own and succeed at doing what even it is you like to do. We need that freedom to thrive in this world. Society wants us to conform to their way of doing things. Our goal should be to get them to want to conform to ours.
I did have a real job a year or so ago. It was a competition for rank. I saw it differently. I thought we should all work together for the good of the company. I was the only one that felt this way. The back biting got worse and I had to leave. Strangely enough my old boss and I are good friends, and he fired most of the people I worked with at the time. I still work for him occasionally on a contract basis. I know he would love to have me back, but I make more money on my own.
It's do-able, Aiden. It takes motivation and self discipline. It sounds like you have both.
@aiden and @zacharias Zacharias, congrats for getting that done. i'm on that way too now, actually it's not my first attempt and as you say it's like having to wear so many other "hats" apart from just being good at my subject area. oufff!
also interesting that the "they're looking at me" thing seems to be so common and i really don't feel like i'm having it. on the other hand, i do feel specific "presences" since childhood, and in that sense i never feel alone, but those are usually positive (unless my state of mind is really crappy, then i attract some negative ones, too). but i think what you feel is different from that.
on the other hand, that's maybe a banal point, but i remember years ago when i changed my dressing style (stopped trying to look straight, basically) and i was very self-conscious. and i think at that time people were looking me up and down. however, years later i'm really not self-conscious in that regard anymore and even though i wear the same or even more unconventional clothes, i don't feel the looks or if i do, they get under my skin less. so in a sense i think people were picking up on me secretly thinking i'm strange and when i stopped thinking that, it reduced a bit despite the objective fact that i can look unusual.
I share that same challenge that you do. If I walk into a public place it's as if I'm walking on a stage. I not only feel like all eyes on me, but often I can see all eyes on me (or at least a lot of eyes on me). For a while there I thought maybe I looked like a celebrity that I wasn't aware of due to all of the attention. But now I know it's an empath thing. Some people, not all, are entranced by empaths. You can see it in their eyes when I walk in. It's like a spiritual switch gets flipped and those people can't take their eyes off of me for a few minutes. And quite often when out to dinner or at a store people will track me from across the room and come over just to tell me their life story. It can be draining because they are doing the energy exchange thing where they talk and feel better while I absorb their pain and take it away. It's a little unsettling since sometimes I feel stalked as I try to go about my private life.
But I will say the hardest thing I deal with as an empath is managing the energy I pick up from others and what it does to my body. I get really tired most days and get sick fairly often from being run down. By the weekend I just want quiet time at home to read and relax in silence.
@sashaw , thanks for this post. I love the fresh topic.
I also wanted to add as a 1a that I struggle with paranormal run-ins and spirit energy. I have clairaudient abilities and as I walk around my house things will thump or bang around trying to get my attention. It often startles me. Or I'll hear voices when I enter a dark room. Considering that my home is where I go to quiet my mind and decompress from the world, I often get caught off guard by spirits trying to get my attention through sound or touch. I also often pick up on spirit emotional energy at home. And I would rather not have to deal with that in my spare time. The frustrating part is that when I have an especially bad empath day, the spirit activity goes through the roof at my home. It's like they want to kick me when I'm down. But I'm convinced there is something to that. When my defenses are down I must leak energy that the spirits like. It happens every time like clockwork.
@hop-daddy ... concerning spirit energies and such ... i don't hear them (ok, maybe once i heard a voice) but i tend to "sense presences", i.e. i'd feel as if someone or something with a specific energy is present e.g. in the room, or -- what's worse -- sometimes i'd feel that in my body (like my mind is a bit clouded and i'm becoming someone else, slightly). this is creepy and it used to scare me to death when i was a teen, until i started to just face and then ignore it and lost the fear.
but it's just like with you, it essentially happens when i'm run down. on the other hand, when i feel great, sometimes i get these "visitors" too, but they will be positive energies (points or spheres of light, sometimes can develop into detailed visions, and usually accompanied by crazy, intense energy flow transformations in the body).
this dependence on my state is what led me to believe over time that it's projections of my own mind, as the bardo thodol ("tibetan book of the dead", describing the journey you take between lives calls them; on the other hand, i'm not sure -- it still feels fairly external. so perhaps it's that my "empath radio" gets tuned to specific frequency bands, so to speak, depending on my psychophysical state. i know for me that's definitely a huge thing, that's why i felt self-care (nutrition, rest, a good daily rhythm) and self-love (cheesy but essentially, working a lot on having an authentic positive attitude towards myself) helped me more than any "spiritual technique" i'd say.
well, and simple "mindfulness", i.e. over time being able to just watch even the dark, scary stuff with just a very gentle, observant, slow and neutral mind (1000 x easier said than done of course) and tune back to myself or to one of the positive energies.
it's a good question tho, my scientist mind is wondering about the mechanism behind all this.
@hop-daddy thanks for re-telling, that's super interesting. i think i do experience things that would count as spirit-realm, but not involving objects moving or levitating -- sounds pretty hardcore. for me it's all still somehow within my body/perception so that's why i tended to try to interpret it with psychology for so many years. cause no flying fans and such.
well frankly, kind of thankful for that.
i was listening to a podcast at a point that said that seeing ... well, balls of light pretty much has something to do with angels. i never believed in angels, i thought that this idea of people with white wings and orbs is kind of bizarre. but at the same time i always kept wondering what these presences are.
once after visiting someone i see rarely i saw a black one (first time in my life) which essentially told me that this person is going to die within a short time span; the person in fact did about three weeks later (was sick, but optimistic and not expecting to die). that freaked me out for a long time; it's also then that i asked a friend who dabbles in energy healing what that dark presence was, and she claimed it was the angel of death. so i dunno. maybe that's what it is. it wasn't an evil presence though, just maybe ... grieving.
anyways, i didn't mean to talk about that ... just cause you mentioned angels. i actually wanted to ask -- sort of off-topic but curious -- if you think that feeling i get sometimes, as if there's a faint shadow covering my face and mind, say, or there is something moving in my body/energy field that's not quite me, would be some spirit phenomenon that i don't know the name of? since a friend told me it's likely some kind of "entity" or attachment, i've actually been working on separating myself from it; but again i can't decide cause it doesn't feel clearly evil (nor good). there are some that just come and go, one that i got rid of apparently permanently, but one that seems to stick and to be old.
also concerning what you call angels -- i used to see only those until teenage. meaning, only light / warmth / loving presences. in my teens i started having huge emotional troubles (probably not necessary to give details) and then i started seeing the dark ones and getting freaked out by them. so again, for me that confirms that our state of mind and emotions matters really a lot. i guess dealing with all that onslaught in my teens without going completely crazy was sort of my "initiation journey".
ok i got really off-topic now and anyways maybe preferable to discuss that in a private conversation.
@hop-daddy ... ya just another thing i've noticed, that i should perhaps put in a separate thread; but over time, dealing with the dark stuff, at a point i developed a technique to communicate with them in such a way that at some point i sort of "see their pain", i notice their inner layer of suffering and ... emptiness, in a way ... like, they are a bit empty inside ... and then, some times they either dissipate or transform into light or a positive presence (that guards me or even gives me an offering). i haven't been able to figure out what that is ... again, didn't talk to people about it. any clue?
@sashaw :
I think you are to something. My son who is also an empath saw a white glowing ball of light travelling down the hallway outside his bedroom that had a warm light to it. He was scared and didn't know what it was. But when I last saw a white orb it was mysterious but yet comforting.
What I have learned from others is that the majority of spirits present as colorless or black. So I think we can't assume that they are all bad if black. I have also not ever heard of a legit angel of death. I think that is folk lore. Although when people are sick their auras show black sections to those that can see that. And it is quite common for people dying to be surrounded by spirits of their deceased loved ones who are there waiting for them. I wonder if that was what the black orb was that you saw? Either way, that would be creepy to see that days before someone dies.
I think the lesson that I have learned as an empath is to really work hard to ground and manage my mood so that I keep positive with a high vibration. I don't like feeling yucky and low vibration. And I don't like feeling low and weak to the point where spirits take advantage of that.
As for your comment about something entering your energy field that makes you feel out of it, that is what it feels like. You feel like something else crawled in your head. And you start to feel like your willpower is weakened and something has taken over part of your thoughts and motivations. Take a look at this story where this medium had an angry ghost take control of her. Her description of what her mind felt like is similar to what I experienced:
https://www.erinpavlina.com/blog/2010/10/paranormal-investigation-of-the-amargosa-hotel/
@sashaw :
To your last comment, with the living I do "see their pain". Within a few seconds of making eye contact with a person I get a pretty good sense of what is troubling them in their life. Sometimes I pick up on their physical ailments without them speaking a word. But with spirits I really just sense the mood change in the room that they project. I don't interact at this point.
What I believe you are doing is empathic healing. Most experienced empaths heal the living by taking away that emptiness and pain in an energy exchange that leaves the person happier and lighter. But if you can do that with the dead, then you're going to be one popular person. You'll be the type of person that can do spiritual cleaning of homes and help the spirits release their heavy feelings and pass on. That's an awesome talent by the way.
cant remember which thread I saw the posts on but yeah sometimes I go into a state where I feel like I'm peeping through the eyes of someone else, that's just sometimes a low frequency spirit energy that might be around, though we cant feel its presence, we are looking through its own eyes.. pretty creepy but Its happened a lot.. and we sometimes have spirits that are attached with us for whatever reason and if not careful they can add fuel to fire
@pinkrose ya, that sounds like what i mean. does that happen for you with people, too? for me it did a few times, especially as a kid ... like literally, almost physically peeping through another person's eyes, mostly if i have played with them for a long time non-stop or looked them in the eye too much ... just curious?
You feel like something else crawled in your head. And you start to feel like your willpower is weakened and something has taken over part of your thoughts and motivations.
@hop-daddy thanks for all the comments. the above nails it, although it's quite subtle in my case (like a faint shadow overlay), i don't think i've noticed it before i started doing a lot of energy work on myself. so you people call that something like a spirit possession ... brilliant, i'll tell my friends (joke) ... i've glanced briefly at the medium story you pasted but it looks creepy and i'm afraid if i read too much about that, i'll start seeing more of it, too, so i'll abstain for now. i might research this though when i feel in a very good/strong place to do that.
i've interacted with both types of spirits or whatever that is since childhood (the friendly and the creepy). it wasn't deliberate there just seemed to be an automatic "telepathic"/empathic connection (no use of words usually).
concerning what you call "empathic healing", i can apparently do that for spirits (sometimes) -- well had to learn to do something to get rid of them, but i've actually never (deliberately) tried it on people. at least not consciously. tho when i do bodywork or energy work, i frequently do sense black stuff coming out / off the body and sometimes emotions and pains briefly go through me very briefly / quickly (i throw them "out" or something, not sure what i'm doing but it doesn't usually stick to me) but that feels really different from the spirit thing. hm. ok i should definitely continue this in another thread as it has nothing to do with the original topic by now.
@gardentiger - Yes, I hate going into bars the most. If I would be more aware and shield myself before entering, I think it would be easier. I went to a bar on Sunday because a family was having a fund raiser to pay the medical bills of their daughter with cancer. It was a good cause so it was worth it. These people are crazy. I could write an essay describing the vibe in this place. I couldn't wait to get out of there.
@hop-daddy - The amount of spiritual activity in your home seems to me to be abnormal. I wonder why that is. I do have to deal with people leaving their energy behind after they visit. I end up doing a detail cleaning of the room they were in. I like a having a "clean" house. Because of this I don't let people come over anymore. I've been through a neighborhoods like yours were I'm constantly on guard and can't relax. I have more to worry about from live people than dead ones.
I also have 15 cats. The more the better. Cats help me clear the energy from myself as well. They seem to enjoy it. I have salt lamps and crystals everywhere. I just wouldn't want to live in a house with spirits coming and going at will. I also live more out in the country. My den is covered in wood that I oil occasionally. It's the best room in the house to take a nap. I know I do these things instinctively because it makes me feel secure. When I leave is when I get attacked by those entities that want to change my mood to something negative. I don't know what they are, but in minds eye they are dark balls that grow if I allow myself to get impatient, or angry. They seem to feed on my negative emotions. The two places I feel safe from them is church and my den. My wife is attacked constantly. I hate to say it, but I don't like sleeping in the same bed with her. She's a narc so...
@sashaw - self-love is the greatest thing you can do for others. Korny or not, it's vital to our inner being. Jesus said "Love your neighbor AS you do yourself." Not more, not less. You are worthy of love and a great asset to the world. Thank you for letting get to know you.
One hundred!
You and I have discussed my spirit situation before. There is something to my neighborhood. We seem to get ghosts passing through. Some stay for a while and then go elsewhere. But there are constant rotating visitations. Part of this is due to myself and two kids being empaths. We collectively attract some of that. But my house was built on a vacant lot where nothing was there before. I think there were native americans who lived in my area many centuries ago. Although there is no evidence that our area was a burial ground. And I don't know if vortex is the right word here. But it seems as if we are a spirit subway station stop sometimes. We get ghosts from many different times. My daughter sees them clearly and quite often she describes the ghosts as being dressed from the late 1800s-early 1900s.
The majority of the ghosts don't bother us. They'll make a little noise trying to get my attention. But them mostly just road around and move on. But when one of us is having a bad empath day that's when the activity picks up and I start to feel the spirit emotions. Between using salt bowls and protection stones I mostly have been able to create a space where they don't bother me or my kids.
I'm curious how you stay married to a narc wife? That must be challenging. And I'm guessing she probably doesn't "get you" as far as empathy goes.
@crystalsage - This has been a major difficulty for me most of my life. Not being able to talk honestly about my experience. When I was 6 my mother married a conservative-Christian-narc-disciplinarian. I grew up in church and everything that wasn't churchy was of the devil. So everything I did had to be hidden. I saved my lunch money to buy tapes because music was such a big part of me holding on to my sanity. They took those and my playing cards and would go though my room occasionally to take my stuff and just generally made my life hell. I hated them, I hated the church(all western religion), and stopped talking to the family for many years.
I have a great relationship with my parents today. I go to a baptist church and most of my friends are conservative Christians. You may wonder why. It's simple, I forgive them for being stupid. To me Jesus was the ultimate empath, and the bible is an energy manual. My relationship with the Holy Spirit has proven to me that being an empath is my natural state of being.
I would never tell most of my friends that i'm an empath and that they should accept everything I say. I don't have too. I have no need to explain. There is one deacon in the church that understands a little. I did explain to him my experience because I need his help to navigate this church thing. He knows me well enough to accept me and has seen some pretty major spiritual things happen. He meditates because the bible says too. He's open minded because God works in mysterious ways. I talk to him in his language. I'm very careful in how I explain things, but from time to time I blurt out something that throws him off. He's still confused yet knows the things I do are what God is doing through me. I'll always be the crazy weird guy in church. I don't care, they love me! They think i'm a superstar! If they knew the truth they would reject me. Once again, I don't care. They limit their understanding. I know that one day they will understand cause their spirit selves already do. They're in church cause they need help, not because they are so spiritual, but because they want to be. They are trying to become empathic. I've had to speak to the church(not preach) four times now. I always sneak in something about empathy.
I still hate religious doctrine, but I understand the need for it. I'm very conservative in the true sense of the word. Not the limiting definition society has re-created. I think I can say this without getting political. Conservatism is a respect of all things and all people. The root word is "serve". As an empath I serve them. I respect them and have to love them where they are at. You were given an understanding that you can feel, they haven't. Know that you don't have to be understood by friends or family. God understands.
@hop-daddy - I'm thinking about starting a thread on my 25 year relationship with a narc. Or maybe write a book. One thing I'll say now is that she knows I'm an emapth. She knows her daughter is an empath. She wants to be an empath. She understands what that means yet she can't get her mind around the fact that she's a narc. She's just co-dependent. That mask never comes off.
That's very fascinating. And somehow you have figured out how to co-exist? It's interesting how often there is a narc and an empath in the same family. But usually it's a parent or sibling that is a narc. I always wonder what the karmic point of that is? Are we empaths supposed to try to pull back narcs from their selfish ways and help them lead more normal lives? It's a head scratcher.
Those are great questions. You already know the answer. Narcs help us as well.
There is one issue that I deal with daily. A constant bombardment of negative energy. A lot of anger, depression, jealousy. I just cleansed the house, and it felt wonderful. Havent slept that good in months. I'e Been having my mother send me a lot of help. Heck, I won' even have anyone stay here while they visit.
I am creating a pyramid structure in the home with a blessing as my intentions charge it. That I know will be an immense help to us. I carved a sancturary in our room, so I have a place that is calm and peaceful.
I do what I can to help the one person. My father-in-law passed in 2014. Letting it go is part of the process. Some can' and it can be for a negative experience. We have woke up to Cupboards and drawers open in morning in kitchen when we make tea and coffee. Glasses sliding out of the cupboard and shattering on floor. Sometimes your feel as if someone is chasing U down the hall. I finally learned how protect myself with Black Tormaline Crystal pendant. Have had a dramatic ffect for me. I have Pine tar water, but that may not work on this. I feel it' a battle of energies.
When I leave home for a while. My favorite place is a place in the mountains by me. It feels so wonderful, and all my crystals are just eminating their energy strongly. Now that I am doing well with crystals. I am staring to learn about frequencies with crystals. That from my first few times was so puzzling, and interesting at the same time. I work slowly because I like everyone is to take your time. Never just rush into things. I do that once in a while, and correct quickly.
MY life is on a path that feels good and uplift at times. I have one other issue that I' dealing with. That is another reason I can come back. God Bless, Be kind, Be Safe......
Man... we as empaths are very powerfull sources of energy for any spirit.. we are naturally creative and problem solvers..when we tune it right, nothing cant stop us...thats why when we tune it wrong be super aware, cause something will want to take advantage
My biggest issue as an empath is being able to sense others feelings. I get some flashes of their thoughts from time to time also. Not enough of a flash that I could pinpoint anything though.( not sure if anyone else experiences this) It has recently been a not so good trait to have in my marriage. ( or maybe it is good?? ) I have been able to pick up on things that my husband has denied but I can just feel these feelings of his. I haven't admitted that to him. He already thinks I am crazy enough. Sometimes I wish I didn't feel every daggone thing so deeply. It has caused some pretty nasty health issues for me.
For me the hardest thing by far is that I no longer feel I can trust anyone at all. I am so tired of people looking me right in the eyes and lying to me, or telling me ridiculous excuses for things and expecting me to believe it, even people who know I am an empath and can read people. I can pick up that none of them believe I can actually read them, but unfortunately for me, I really can. I keep my mouth shut, almost never confront anyone, and cry alone, disappointed yet again, and knowing I can't trust that person.
The one time someone told me a bald faced lie and I looked her in the eye and told her exactly what she was really thinking, word for word, as I picked it up from reading her, her eyes got huge and she turned around and ran away from me in terror as fast as she could. She was very afraid of me and has never spoken to me again. In her case, I am very happy about that outcome, but in most cases, I do not want to get rid of the person. I am just sad, and don't understand why everyone lies so much, even when they don't have to, especially people who claim to believe in an afterlife. Just about every medium says that over there you cannot hide anything; everyone sees all you've ever said or done in all your lives! So, why not start being honest now?
@Curious Child - I could have written your last paragraph. Besides dumping a few people who abused me, I have also been dumped by people because I want to talk about ideas and concepts and important subjects, not just small talk, rather than run around doing mindless things all the time. I've also been phased out by people just for for disagreeing with someone once too often, no matter how much I bend over backwards to be tactful, or for wanting to do what I like just once in awhile, instead of always doing what they want to do.
It seems it is no longer allowed to let on that you know more about any subject than anyone else or that you are not an exact clone of them, lol. If you don't let someone keep their ignorance, you are making them feel bad, no matter how nice you are about it. I am not making anyone ignorant. A closed, locked, rusted-shut mind is their own choice. I have been used and hurt so much that I am now done trying. If you are young, I pray you can find a way to come to grips with this better than I have and live the good life you deserve.
C. Cat
@spiritualskies,
I think I know what you mean, and I tend in those cases to try to see signs of the goodness others may not see by looking deeper. If I pick up good things, I turn to the group, and often pick up general feelings of fear of the unknown from them. People who are different scare some people, the kind of people who need a narrowly defined, solid reality to feel safe, and IME, they are in the majority. That sort of person always hangs out in a group if they can, again to feel safe, though they are almost always unaware of why they do it. Bottom line: Conformists with little empathy are most likely to wrongly condemn someone.
The problem is the opposite of yours for me, if I understand what you are saying. I often pick up the opposite of what other people see, since they believe what they see on the surface. I don't know what to do with what I pick up. Let us say I am with 3 people, and we see someone coming. The others just befriended her and tell me she is very nice. I see her aura is full of swirling brown clouds. When I meet her, I feel intense jittery nervousness, and pick up that it's due to covering her lies and the phony act she puts on in public. If I tell those people, they will hate me for it, for many reasons. If I don't tell what I see, they will almost surely be hurt by her in the future. I used to tell. Now I've learned to shut up. It's not my business to save people, though that is very hard to swallow....why have the ability then? It occurs to me maybe this is not empathy but psychic ability, but I don't think it matters what it's called....
It's still being the odd man out and seeing the same situation entirely differently than everyone else there. I hope I got that right. I wish I had a solution for you.
This is simply the best topic!
Being almost thirty now...i can relate most to the people around me, and trying to understand or follow my instincts around them. It took me a long time to learn how to control my mouth..as sometimes i could use empathy to get to know people fast and then i'd just would go talking with them about my point of view and how i believe things are and the way it should be done..
And i guess for us empath we see thing in a energy level more than hierarchy, dogmas etc etc..So people can feel guilty for it, telling the truth so direct like this can make them mad, and they may get angry with you, they will see you as their enemies, or at least a threat. Cause they know ,you are one step ahead, but normally as a empath you are not understood so clearly by most people, so it is easy to use this against you, and try to put you on a tag, a mask, a joke, etc and etc..
After many fights, and other disorders, physically mentally. I see that you cannot save everyone and try to hug and care for all, they will attack just for the feeling of it and feel good about it. Coming to understand it was really hard. Cause i lost friends, i lost lovers, some family relationship has really stopped from developing and i came to understand i am alone in taking care of my health, and nobody will understand it fully how i see the world. But i guess thats growing up for us empath.
Life has gained a deeper and broader meaning for me as well.
Feeling like being watched is another major issue as well, especially as a kid, and feeling like being a weirdo, i could never fit into a playboy, a hippie, a nerd or narcissist. So i felt lost most of the time as well..asking myself nonstop, trying to make sense. It has eased much now becoming older, as long as i dont separate people between groups, i hope they try to accept me the way i am, and this is the kind of people i want to have around me at least to have a conversation with.
I did get blamed for many stuff i never did or never thought about, and would just laugh about it, cause for me was like
"how can they be so sure about life to the point of attacking someone? i wish life was this simple in my mind" (which i dont) lol
But that's it, they will start to burn the witch and then asking later if that was a witch...and in my mind i d be asking "what is a witchcraft?" why should it be forbidden? and etc... (just a metaphor)
Good to share it here..cause it gets heavy
Feeling weird or drained after talking with certain people or after certain social situations. I will need time to recharge and ponder over what happened/reflect, sometimes I can't even eat or so, I have to go straight to sleep.
Always been hard for me to keep/remain collected and grounded, yet at the same time able to pick up the good stuff "from the air" or surroundings.
Having to put extra time and care into who I keep as friends, where I go, what I pursue or do as my job, what i eat, how much I sleep, into what and how I think, and so on. Things can materialise for me pretty quickly, or if I'm not careful and get low, it can get pretty bad, like @hop-daddy explained. To deal with these I had to come to absolutely be certain of MY OWN way, and have belief in the way life works in general and my intuition, for they caused the least harm to myself ^^. Basically center my own energy around myself and make doubts go away. Realising that the weirdest, stray-est thoughts can have the biggest meaning. What's more, I had to NOTICE this in someone else, to learn how to do it myself, or rather to crystallise it. Otherwise just knowing what you want theoretically without searching or seeing does not have the same power.
@hermes , welcome back. I've missed you!
@hermes - Thank you! That in an excellent way to explain this interaction between narc and empath. There is a purpose to it. I've had so many relationships with narcs that it seems like half world is this way. When I'm told it's only one out of 100 people are narcs it's hard to believe. There is such a wide range of narc personalities that it could easily include 5% of the population, if not 20%. We have to bring them up too, not just those we want to be around. Learning to transmute that energy took many years of suffering through it to figure out, but I didn't really figure it out on my own. It was when I realized Jesus was an empath and must have been in absolute full control of his abilities. It was what I wanted so I follow his example. Forgiveness transmutes negative energy.
@spiritualskies - It's hard to find. Many Christian sites on empaths misconstrue what we are doing and the nature of our gifts. Rev. Steve Wilson and his wife wrote 'The Reluctant Empath'. So their perceptive is much more in line with ours. They see the Bible as an energy manual.
Elijah House - Its more of a Christian therapy center, now days, but it was started by an empathic couple to work with empaths. They call us B urden Bearers . Their children are running it now.
Humbly I would think Jesus as a true Empath. He clearly knew the thoughts and feelings of others - adding clairvoyant to the mix as well. Telepath and telekinesis, he probably would have many labels attached to Him. Basically, His pure spirit resonated beyond Him and He knew when others even touched His garment, stating that "virtue" had been taken from Him. Do we know as Empaths when we have a an energy drain from a moth that seeks our lighted aura? Do we Empaths know when a hitchhiker latches on to the energy we inadvertently - or purposely - emanate from our being for the sake of conscious or unconscious discovery around us, however far? Maybe that's what He meant when we void ourselves of negative attachments that more may come in their place without the Holy Spirit to fill us. Then maybe it is a power of the Spirit that allows us to see.. to feel.. to sense what the duller human cannot.
Wow, this was a powerful thread, I love the question. I want to answer my experiences.
So first, I want to say I can relate to you, @sasha-supertramp. I'm queer as well, although I experience the "everyone looking at you" thing others were talking about, or that feeling of being in the spot light. I grew up in a very conservative and christian home which had a very negative effect on me, causing me to actually hate myself at some point in my life (actually most of my life to date). It caused a massive amount of issues, and I only recently truly got comfortable with myself. I went on a date with a guy, but unknowingly to me it was to a more conservative area, and I could feel people genuinely staring at me, and being judgmental. It's one thing to feel people trying to figure you out, it's another thing when a ladies church group at a Panera bread move tables and stare at you the entire night (sadly I'm not making this up either). Most of the ladies actually were fine with us, it was a specific 2 ladies in that group, and one was angry about it. Thank god for my generation though, they'll stare for a moment, but then either not care, or have a "good for them" kind of reaction. anyway, the next thing was also being able to feel that someone feels lust for you and calls it "love". Massive turn off, and people don't understand.
Anyway, here's my list:
- Feeling like I'm in the spotlight, like others said and explained pretty well.
- Feeling drowned out by all the different energy in a room. People experiencing more intense emotions always grab my attention as well.
- When you finally feel a deep connection with someone, which is a powerful and wonderful experience, but then you look for that sensation of connection in every other person you meet.
- Being able to feel and see that not many people live a deep life. It makes me sad, but also frustrates me because people hold back.
- Picking up on emotions. I've actually got this almost under control, but I've always felt them "outside" of me. Even though this can be horribly draining for me, what hurts the most is when you can feel that someone is acting like you're good friends, but don't feel that way towards you. Or you can feel if someone has contempt towards you. I also hate it when people who "lust for me" are around me, or especially touch me. It feel so bad to me, and I can't stand it.
- Picking up on mentalities. Really I will feel restricted and held down around more close-minded people. I experience this a lot with my family, and I feel stuck and even lead towards expressing things I don't agree with. A few things I can pick up on are motivation, confidence, arrogance, how open or closed someone is, authenticity, etc..
- I also don't like when I know I don't like something in someone, usually I pickup on on bad intentions, but I have to wait for them to slip up before anyone will believe me.
- Picking up on whether a relationship will work out or not. This is really challenging because I feel at fault when I don't warn someone not to get too invested. I hate feeling one-sided relationships. I also hate how most people date just to date, or date to better themselves. No wonder a lot of people don't believe in love.
- Being more understanding and objective than most people. I find most interpersonal conflicts pointless and petty. My parents use me as their therapist/ mediator because I understand what's going on, but they still choose to cause each other issues, or avoid or try to twist what I point out. I can also feel the tension between people, so many times getting involved is mentally draining, and emotionally draining. I always find myself understanding everyone's point of view, and getting aggravated with other people when they make dumb comments about someone.
- I think the worst thing for me is I can't have a "normal" relationship. I make friends way too easily. People get very close to me, very easily, and always want to hang out. I never feel the same towards them. I am very picky about where I allow people to be in my life, but ever since I experienced real and deep connections with people, I don't want to be around any other people other than those I feel that way with. I'm very nice to everyone, and I'll be an ear for those people, but I don't like feeling stuck in relationships.
Another thing is the knowing people are lying, or aren't saying what they mean. People these days really don't know the difference between lust and love. They also don't let themselves feel all emotions they can and should. People are fake these days and I hate feeling that every time I go out. I hate social media because it's a constant reminder of that. Worst of all, I hate someone telling me they love me, but I can feel that it's not true.
Realising the big society trends and the difference between hearing a concept and understanding it, without having to really read or be told about these.
The discrepancy between concepts that exist within the individual vs concepts that the individual only adopts to camouflage.
The mental way of feeling someone when you know what they say is in contradiction with what they really think.
Fake everything: laughs, thoughts to "push through", public belittle-ing to cover for personal issues, etc.
Very suggestive dreams. "Dare" to push anything back in the subconscious and ignore it, it bubbles up and re-emerges with the first occasion and is more intense and clear.
Waking up suddenly (very suddenly) and speaking someone's name. Having a CLEAR notion, idea and/or feeling in your head about someone who should not be thinking or lingering around your energies, possibly "stealing". This one is mixed and not the clearest yet, but overall if there is something wrong or has the possibility to go very wrong I just wake up knowing it. It does not happen often and if it's people, it's not people I would think about rationally that much. Rationally speaking you think you can easily handle them and they're soft. Wrong... this makes their energies (and yours) more permeable.
Many people tell how they have issues shielding. You don't actively need crystals and objects to do that unless you're practicing something that disrupts them (or makes them more permeable) in a form or another. It should be enough to have these objects around and in need tapping into them is natural and should not always need special invitations. If you do this tells me you're doing something with your energies or tried reaching something outside your present ability (it's an example, not necessarily everyone's case). You need a very clear intent and decisive mind/will, belief in your gut feelings, knowing where it stems from. When you know or understand the name and the origin, you can act on it. This was transformed in popular culture into "knowing the real name of someone/power words".
Not only humans create attachments though. The clearest or most powerful drain I felt with animals for instance was when I was volunteering at an animal shelter, with the dogs in particular. It just hits you, but after you realise it, it gets a bit better in a matter of seconds. A quarter had locomotory or mental issues (not even mentioning behavioural) inflicted before ofr after they were abandoned. Those poor souls... does not really make you want to repeat the experience though, not alone that is.
I have noticed that handwriting too can be very powerful in directing energies, especially if you are upset at someone and trying to convey a message. Never do such things unless you feel the impulse to and not to do harm. There's a rule according to which you reap what you sow or you get what you give (they seem separate in one dimension of thinking, but they are not). In everything you do you use a portion of your energy and to do harm you rip from it, which in turn makes you more "volatile". In my opinion, today's views of what makes one "powerful" are a joke in terms of how volatile and unstable such people get.
One still needs a repeated prayer of some sort however. People are just made to do that. And gestures or movements of some kind. That's interesting.
Attachments always reflect something about you that you need to "readjust" or understand, hence why these happen. People are lessons, and so are you for them. Be respectful of others' physical and mental spaces, don't bulge in. Honest curiosity is one thing, but other forms of thoughts stemming from judgement meet with spontaneous rejection.
Western "1st world countries" children are being brainwashed to no ends. What communism couldn't succeed, they do. Very, too easy they are to be influenced, scared, told what they are or not.
Protecting the environment - they do not. In no Universe or system of thinking, destroying your own planet is normal. Common people are taught to think animals are cute and "let's protect them", but the people who take decisions do not think so - only in terms of profit. Also, if they can do that as far as possible from their homes - better. Nothing bigger than a deer or any carnivores live in these countries anymore, they've been wiped out, and it has extended to fish, birds, small mammals, insects, microfauna.
Like fish on land, men are shaking their hands and feet in the air, but not moving, like in a web.
Reinvention of religions and the past. Always brand new "chimeras".
Mass media - mass disinformation tools. Stop believing that everything that flies can be eaten.
There are very good things too. But I am afraid that the future is dictated by the now. The now is, one needs incredible amounts of energy (physical, mental, spiritual, take it as you may) to shift the thinking of these people, from ego centric to something else. I personally wish I could do more around me, or with myself for a start, maybe... the first dream I ever remember from when I was little ended with me seeing and hearing 2 golden lions roaring into the night as distant revolt sounds were intensifying. Of all the things and suggestions I could have caught when I was 6 or 7, I get this one.
That's just the Empath's Starting Kit.
Throw in for example, knowing that telepathy, image communication are as real as they can get, between both humans and animals. Animals are image/visual and sensorial (especially dogs and horses, races that have been evolving alongside humans, but not only). Humans are auditory and sensorial somehow, tapping into the same brainwaves. Others might feel it differently I guess, I don't know why or how.
from @kate:
"The mental way of feeling someone when you know what they say is in contradiction with what they really think. Fake everything: laughs, thoughts to "push through", public belittle-ing to cover for personal issues, etc."
A huge issue for me is how to handle this dichotomy in people who claim they are very close to you. It forces me to chose between being just as fake as they are by not saying anything and condoning by ommission, or withdrawing, which is what I've done to the point of it being very bad for my health. Being around that and doing nothing feels far worse though. I want to scream at them, and no longer trust myself to hold it in, but that is not productive.
Depends on what your expectations are from these people, or what you intended your relationship to be to them. The only lessons I know is that of becoming detached of passing thoughts and emotions coming from others.
Yet
Just as true is the reality of being able to feel one's heart and thoughts.
Tell apart various intentions form each other, joy, love, or darker feelings gathering. Immediate mental exchanges when in close proximity to someone. Some people are easier to read than others. It is not intentional. They will feel when and if you can "see" them. I personally don't know why I can "hear" thoughts, especially of friends and family, but I can, and I have learned to mask the fact that I can sense them in general because it makes people feel really awkward and creates weird scenarios otherwise. It feels like you have to take something away from yourself... it is not enjoyable, but it is something that has to be done sometimes to protect others. I believe we are searching for places and people who accept us as whole.
Some people have a well developed second side, almost like a shadow, but not with an inherently bad vibe. But it is the voice that wins, the face that comes to the surface, the form that you see and detect, as opposed to their real features. You speak to them and that is the side you hear. Is it the cynical voice? The inner voice that was pushed deep within? The one that realises what is happening behind the veil? And then the rational mind comes that somewhat mutes it, behaviour picked up from family and those around them. It is a truly interesting dichotomy and I was afraid of developing one when I was smaller. This second voice or desires can never be truly muted. They always surface first even if for a split second you recognise and know it, this is the rule of interaction between two beings. The only way to hide it simply to not to interact with people who can feel these. The conscious choice of interaction brings about an inevitable exchange of information. In person or in distance, or seconded by someone else.
You or we are able to communicate through unspoken mental projections with anything that is life around us. Despite these lessons people have been teaching and keeping alive for millenia, people still forget how everything around them is more or less "sentient". More or less, in a way or another, or maybe simply by congruence of forces or factors that force "something" to take your existence into account even when the two of you should not usually interact.
There is a risk and a coefficient error here too as well though, and I only know of time/experience and good intent to bring about the correct lessons. Sometimes the thoughts are very simply... not actually there. You just let negative thoughts gather and take them as reality when in fact others have moved on/the memories persist in your system. or maybe not, and you are just the only one tapping into them at a given time. Sometimes the person acts as if they never noticed anything passing through their minds, yet you are left struggling with this possibly weird impression you got from them, but again, they become weirdly unaware. Was it theirs in the first place, or coming from another source? Did we/do we take it off them and "clean/purify" them in any way, and are we left "struggling" with them for longer? I don't know for sure. Funnily and unexpectedly enough, time has actually been confirming from my thoughts. At least that is soothing to know ^^.
Thank you for sharing @michelle . It's good to be reminded of the benefit of being an empath. It's my greatest joy to be of service.
Years before I knew about being an Empath I went to the funeral of a teenage girl my daughter went to school with It was a senseless car accient less than a mile from the school
As I went through the viewing line and came to the mom. I reached out my hand and as I looked into her eyes I could feel her deep pain. As her eyes met mine I knew she knew I understood. We stayed that way for several seconds. I always felt like I gave her just a tiny bit of comfort.
With the recent catastrophes in California. I have been on overload. The day before the Bar shooting, every time I meditated I felt as if I was a large bomb of energy about to be released. When I closed my eyes to meditate. All I could see was a kolidescope of blood drops. That night as I slept. I dreamt that I was standing in a bar, and hearing gunshots,and seeing people dropping. I woke up and saw what was on TV and sat and cried for a while. I asked my guardian angels to go help those that need comfort and their help. It's hard to see the news. Because I recall my dream. Those that were there to help are very blessed people. For all those that passed, may God Bless their families for the comfort they need to go on with their lives the way their l9ved ones would have wanted them to.
With the recent catastrophes in California. I have been on overload. The day before the Bar shooting, every time I meditated I felt as if I was a large bomb of energy about to be released. When I closed my eyes to meditate. All I could see was a kolidescope of blood drops. That night as I slept. I dreamt that I was standing in a bar, and hearing gunshots,and seeing people dropping. I woke up and saw what was on TV and sat and cried for a while. I asked my guardian angels to go help those that need comfort and their help. It's hard to see the news. Because I recall my dream. Those that were there to help are very blessed people. For all those that passed, may God Bless their families for the comfort they need to go on with their lives the way their l9ved ones would have wanted them to.
I interesting enough, I know when others sense me but I often ignore this and can tactfully integrate their knowledge in conversation. I'd like to say I don't care but in reality things are buried under layers with the underlying truth that I am, always have been, and always will be an empath... how bland is that? Perhaps it's just the naked truth of acceptance that does it
I like my alone time to recharge myself . But people are always drawn to me and most times not to be rude , I’d rather be alone .
When someone is being fake , I can sense it even if they are pretending to be nice . I can’t really pretend to like them and that makes me uncomfortable.
I can be so sensitive. When someone tells me something that hurts my feelings , I have to cry .
when I read someone I take all of their emotions inside of me. Normally this is OK but I read someone who had been abused against my better judgement. Within seconds I could not touch her, the emotional pain was far too much. I wanted to see how she was but now I know that she hides herself from everyone. But she couldn't hide it from me, it was a very negative experience and I was hoping to chat with someone in a similar situation.
I was hoping for a chat where I could talk about feeling others emotions and the fear that came from the one time that I foolishly read a damaged person.
I have the same problem and nothing I've tried has helped. I live in what I call a 'darkness sandwich', in a house bordered on either side by the two darkest individuals I've ever known, and I can't move for several reasons. I pick up their negative mood all the time and it geometrically adds to the depression I already have. I keep looking for ways to get relief. I have a friend who says she can turn her ability off and on, but I have only seen the results of her having it off and being taken for thousands of dollars by 3 different people who fooled her, so I think it is necessary to also know when to turn it off, not just how.
I use the exercise you outlined every morning, slightly altered, so I can combine it with the moves in my daily Qi Gong routine. Like my daily meditation, it makes me feel wonderful while I am doing it, but the effect does not last. When healing, I find that locating the problem areas first, bringing in green healing light and then visualizing the area as healed works best for me. If I find dark spots in my own aura, pulling them out, digging out any roots, filling it in with white light and then patching my aura seems to work best.
As an interesting aside, all of my symptoms, both physical and mental, disappear w/in about 30 hrs. of starting to take an antibiotic called metronidazole, and they stay gone for about 2 wks. after I stop taking it. Our guts can really mess up our heads.
I have found the white magic of The Lesser Banishment Ritual to work well for getting negs out of my home, and if they do come in, ordering them to leave in the name of Jesus works better than anything else I've tried. However, getting neighbors to move is one thing I have not mastered. The Dalai Lama also said that his religion is kindness, and unfortunately, that is something I had to leave behind to get those neighbors out of my face. After more than a decade of bullying to the point where I was afraid to walk out of my house to get the mail, I finally blew up and gave one of them a dose of her own medicine to the point where she ran from me. That was the only thing that has worked with these people who are so spiritually undeveloped that they only respond to that type of treatment. Kindness only made me seem like better prey to them.
I agree about the adrenals and disciplines to keep my circadian rhythm in line have helped. The supplement Seriphos has been essential to keep high cortisol down at night. I need a lot of supplements just to function at all. I must be a slow learner. I was told back in 1988 that I could go at nay minute. In 1994, I was put on terminal/incurable disability w/o even asking and was told I should not even be able to walk w/the amt. of brain damage I have. In 2007, I was told I would never live past age 63 and that if I was still alive in 2017, I would have cancer. I am 67 now. A healer from the Barbara Brennan School told me my mission in life this time is to heal myself through spirit alone. I've been sick since 1986, and getting worse all the time despite never ending effort to get well, so I must be a very slow learner despite my empathy, or maybe because of it....at least that is how it feels to me. I am so sensitive that I can't handle things that others are not made sick or even stressed by. My spouse is not bothered by living next to these people, so does not see a need to leave the home he loves, and just tells me to stop thinking about it.
I will try what you have recommended but realize I have no training and have always simply read others and taken all of their feelings. I don't know how to stop it. Unfortunately, I have also felt others at a distance---what they are thinking if the feelings are extremely strong. But I have generally not felt comfortable telling them anything. As for reading a damaged person I knew she was but I had no idea how badly and how powerfully it would be. Since then I actively try as much as I can to block what I feel from others and actually live alone and try to stay alone. There is nothing like walking through a busy store like Walmart and pausing to look at something and feeling another's emotions. I try to go through any store thinking as much as I can on what I am buying or looking for.
Wow,
the feeling of being watched. That only happens when I start to feel someone and then they stare at me like I had two heads. Its like they know someone is seeing them in a way they don't want to be seen. Its very unpleasant and as I said earlier I try very hard to focus on other things but sometimes I slip up and they look at me in the strangest way.
I suppose I need to talk about why I am here. I always read people, got their emotions and their self-image, feeling towards personal success and it never bothered me. My girlfriend was staying with me at the time so I suppose I stupidly felt confident. A damaged girl was there that was not my girlfriend (there were father and uncle stuffs that started when she was 8, but I thought I could handle it). As soon as I started she was sheepish and happy to lucky I suppose. But what I read from her was incredible sorrow, I had to stop in less than a minute and I went in the other room and held my girlfriend and cried. im 50 and 250 pounds, 5'11" and was a fighter and I could not take what was inside of this silly happy little 28 year old girl. it was so bad, I am afraid to read since and I try not to stay near people long and I live alone with my 2 dogs The girl, she was like, what was his deal?
one thing id like to say is this shit is really hard to talk about. its not normal, people aren't supposed to be able to feel other people's emotions to the extent that I can. I have to duck and weave in any conversation not to say what the other person is really feeling. I am very glad for this forum but if we want to move forward for ourselves then we need 24/7 chat so we can share what happens to us without feeling like freaks and doing like im doing and isolating myself from humanity as much as I can.. just my .02
@jerrysto It is very hard to talk about it and sometimes we cant with our friends and family. I felt that way coming here a few years ago, but no one has ever judged or argued with me it's mostly "i get you" from this forum. I am just tainted with dogma sometimes. When I have gone to friends and family for help I get the dogma responses. I felt often times with unknown answers, what is the unknown, and how do i go about all this? It's not like life where you can't pay a bill or have a flat tire, and ask for a friend or family member for help. It's more and deeper than that, that others don't get or understand. This group has helped me so much and will for you too. People in everyday world, they don't get it or understand what life is like in our shoes daily. We really do feel what is like for them LOL. People will lie right to you, and you know that they are lying. Empaths are human lie detectors.
I started attending a class with other gifted individuals and they questioned the "feeling" I've told them how i felt others physical pains and of course their feelings, and whatever else is in the room with me that I cannot see. Maybe how objects either felt great touching, or others I wanted to throw up from touching. I get it through emails and text messages as wells. Back to that class, I said I'm not looking to pry into anyone or their free will, this just comes. I sense they are a little nervous when I'm around, and some have validated that by telling me so. But I told them to not, because there feelings are not mine and I don't judge. Seems that has helped calm them a bit.
I found a way to "shield" myself that seems to be starting to work for me, and it's amazing to be able to feel your own feelings and feelings based on your own thoughts. Or walk through a crowd and not feel something lol. However today, i forgot to do so and friend drama full force! lol. I'm hoping to be better at this and master this for myself and share what I have done, but I still get a few leaches sneaking in...
@michelle,
I have found the white magic of The Lesser Banishment Ritual to work well for getting negs out of my home, and if they do come in, ordering them to leave in the name of Jesus works better than anything else I've tried. However, getting neighbors to move is one thing I have not mastered. The Dalai Lama also said that his religion is kindness, and unfortunately, that is something I had to leave behind to get those neighbors out of my face. After more than a decade of bullying to the point where I was afraid to walk out of my house to get the mail, I finally blew up and gave one of them a dose of her own medicine to the point where she ran from me. That was the only thing that has worked with these people who are so spiritually undeveloped that they only respond to that type of treatment. Kindness only made me seem like better prey to them.
I agree about the adrenals and disciplines to keep my circadian rhythm in line have helped. The supplement Seriphos has been essential to keep high cortisol down at night. I need a lot of supplements just to function at all. I must be a slow learner. I was told back in 1988 that I could go at nay minute. In 1994, I was put on terminal/incurable disability w/o even asking and was told I should not even be able to walk w/the amt. of brain damage I have. In 2007, I was told I would never live past age 63 and that if I was still alive in 2017, I would have cancer. I am 67 now. A healer from the Barbara Brennan School told me my mission in life this time is to heal myself through spirit alone. I've been sick since 1986, and getting worse all the time despite never ending effort to get well, so I must be a very slow learner despite my empathy, or maybe because of it....at least that is how it feels to me. I am so sensitive that I can't handle things that others are not made sick or even stressed by. My spouse is not bothered by living next to these people, so does not see a need to leave the home he loves, and just tells me to stop thinking about it.
Thanx for the thoughtful response. When I blew up at the neighbor, I got the same reaction as your friend with the 'flying chair'....her eyes popped and she ran away. That was many years ago and lately she is trying to worm her way back in and involve us in her life again. She had to evict a "friend" who was staying in her house, and came over to tell us so. I made my husband go to the door. She came again a few days later and he was not home, so I ignored her pounding on the door until she left. I will not allow her in my space again. I have boundaries now, finally! Better late than never.
I also have conflicts about the salvation system and the concept of eternal hell. I can be a stickler for justice, and do not forgive easily, but even I would not condemn the worst being to eternal fire and any god must be far better than I am. I also lean towards pantheism. However, having tried every other name and found only Jesus' to work, it has made me reconsider, and I just finished reading the entire NT again. I wonder if all of us, including Christians with a capitol "C" aren't misunderstanding most of it. I do see how the underpinnings of civilization depend on it, with the invention of hospitals and public schools as good examples of things not even thought of before it, but I can't buy all of it w/o a leap of faith too far for me to take w/o some logical explanation. This subject should not be on the forum, so if you want to discuss it, let's take it to PM.
You are so right about anger being all right if it results in productive action, and not always being nice being not only okay, but a requirement for assertiveness and boundaries. I was brought up to never, ever get angry and still feel guilty when I do, but thanks to Lyme disease, I have full blown rages now, often over little things, another reason to isolate myself. There have been quite a few murder/suicides in Lyme patients due to these rages.
I come out of a church that teaches healing by spirit alone, but decades of working at it have not healed me. I am presently working on healing 4 other people. I figure why not try? I don't know if I can trust what I pick up or not. In one case, I strongly pick up that the diagnosis is wrong and he has something entirely different. I have not said anything yet, but am working on removing what I see. I have predicted 2 people's deaths and what they died from before they knew they had anything wrong, but have not healed anyone yet, except once when I told someone a supplement to take that got him off the heart transplant list. There is a strong genetic component to what I have also. I am reliving my mother's life to a tee, and cannot see the point of doing that.
Re: your ow cortisol. Have you tried Niagen? It is the new hot shot mitochondrial supplement for this problem, available at the store at prohealth.com. My cortisol is too high at night, but is too low during the day. I could not stand Niagen, since I am 'wired but tired' and it really raises energy. It has some side effects and I had all of them, probably since I am such a nervous nellie. Might be worth a try.
As you know, I've had a similar experience with using Jesus' name as the only effective way to remove negs from my home, and also with healing, though that part was only temporary for me. I am working on healing my toe, which has broken again just from walking two blocks, and has been broken since July 19th. It will not heal and I am totally out of shape as a result. What you don't know, is that I too saw 5:55 all the time during that period. I am now seeing 3:33 and 4:44 a lot instead. How do you reconcile this experience with your very logical doubts about salvationism? I cannot do it and must not deceive myself, so I just let the uncertainty exist, though it is very uncomfortable. I can empathize too with the unrelenting illness and resulting frustration. I hang on by my fingernails and could never do it w/o my husband. I am sending you warm hugs....
That is a very good way to look at it. Please do put yourself first to rest and heal.
Since we've come back to this topic I thought I would add a little information that suggest some of the difficulties Jesus had as an empath.
Not even His disciples understood him while he was alive, but John wrote about an incident that doesn't get talked about much in Christian circles.
John 2:23- But Jesus on his part knew what was in a man and did not trust himself to them because he knew all people and needed no one to bear witness about a man, for he knew himself what was in a man.
In context, he was avoiding a group of men that wanted to talk to him after a sermon. He had also on occasion had to travel across the sea of galilee to get away from people. He needed rest. Something we can all understand. These people had to have been very draining. The mount of olives is a grave yard. This is where the garden of Gethsemane is. It's a great place to get away from people. John spoke about love. This was his message. He understood it and he had visions. Could have been an empath himself. Mary of magdala was plagued with seven demons when she met Jesus. Once again, her experience is something we can relate to. We are pretty sure that empathy is genetic. Mother Mary might have been one of the last empaths on earth before Jesus was born. Could have been that her husband Josef was as well. He acted like one. Jesus relied on women to support his ministry. Not typical for the time. He very much respected the power of women at a time when men mostly did not. I see the "gifts of the spirit" as empathic traits, all of them. I could go on and on. The Bible explains how to manipulate energy through our thoughts and behavior. God wants us all to be empath. Empathy IS the language of Heaven, and of angels. I adamantly believe this.
I had a talk with one of my coworkers at the Baptist church. She now knows she's an empath. She had a dream about a friend that went missing. She knew where he was and they found him. I've been watching this woman for four years. Since she was 16. I could tell the first moment I saw her that she was very special. I wasn't the only one. Deacons of the church have been supporting her. One of them asked me to consider her a spiritual daughter and help her as I can. The inner circle of the church understands us. And here I thought I would be shunned if they knew about what I am. This isn't something that is openly discussed, but there are those that can hear the quietest whisper. They listen to what God tells them to do, and they support us. Not typical of most of the congregation. They don't quite understand yet, but they will.
Healing through prayer is the greatest gift God has given us. Belief is the power behind it. Faith is belief in things not seen. Belief without evidence. He's building our faith by not making the evidence appear obvious, but after you take the leap of faith you see it. Our power is a creative unsertiny that we choose to use, or not. Please, use it as often as you can.
I finally blew up and gave one of them a dose of her own medicine to the point where she ran from me. That was the only thing that has worked with these people who are so spiritually undeveloped that they only respond to that type of treatment. Kindness only made me seem like better prey to them.
This has also been my struggle for such a long time. I am usually very kind to everyone i meet and can easily get along with almost anyone, until that one ahole comes along and messes up my vibe. I am patient for a while and hope that something within them changes but eventually I will explode. I don't even have to shout when this happens but I've been told that my words and delivery, are extremely powerful. I feel like being so connected to others emotions, it's easy to kinda hit them where it will really hurt ( which i dont like to do) and make their jaw drop (which has happened). I can do this with just a look as well where I don't have to say a word but the person will know exactly how i feel. I feel bad sometimes after this happens but the other part of me feels like they needed to hear it, like it is my mission to let them know and i have no other option but to lay it on them. I had my Akashic Records looked into once and the reader told me that i had the energy of a healer but the soul of a warrior which resonated so deeply. I will fight for anyone if i see any kind of injustice occurring in any form. I can't tolerate it at all!
Being too kind has also put me in situations where i felt taken advantage of or overlooked at times. I know that this is my true self but i feel that it isn't always beneficial in this society. In employment situations, it seems like the the ahole always get the promotion or a position of power. It's never the nice guy/gal that is liked by everyone.
Thank you for that very good and moving post!
I would also like to recommend a series on YouTube for anyone like me who was taught that the Bible was written hundreds of years after events and so it could not be accurate, the apostles had lots of reasons to lie to create a religion, the church has changed a lot of the writings to fit their agenda, nobody other than the apostles saw Jesus after he died, there is no historical proof he even existed, and many other things you may have been told and taken as truths and as reasons to doubt the whole story, like I did. The series of videos is called Cold Case Christianity. I especially recommend the one about whether the resurrection really did happen. It knocked me upside the head, since it is so logical when you know the facts. I am not trying to convert people. I myself am leery of accepting any labels, since that can stop spiritual growth cold. I just think it's always helpful to get as much info as possible and keep an open mind.
I could have written your post. I certainly empathize with all you said and was also told that I was a master healer in a previous life and am a light warrior now.
One thing I can add is that I never had those job problems you described when I was employed in my field, which was social services. The employment dog-eat-dog stuff only started after I had to relocate for health reasons and could not find a job in my field, so was forced to work in the business world. My mother once told me that "business ethics are an oxymoron" and I found out just how right she was. I know empaths who manage to work in business and come out unscathed, but I think most of us do far better in service jobs where we are of service to others and (I think) are much more likely to find other people like ourselves.
I remember you saying you have your own business now and that is bound to be better. That's what my HSP husband had to do, though he and I both still had to deal with some unreasonable clients. I hope what you have chosen is compatible with who you are. When I was young, I thought I was unlimited and could mold myself into anything I wanted; that I should and could fit myself into any type of job, if need be. That belief turned out to be so wrong that it cost me my health, permanently. I would not wish that on anyone.
I think I have read every word Tom Montalk every wrote, sometimes more than once, so we are on the same page! I have also read several of Phillip K. Dick's books, since I love sci-fi, partly because it so often becomes reality, or maybe already is a hidden reality. Thanks for the link, which I will enjoy while eating lunch.
That was some HEAVY stuff. Like most of what P.K. Dick said, I needed to re-read some of it, and I definitely need to think about it for awhile. The idea of death of the ego and submission to the Urgrund reminds me of the traditional concept of needing to be born again. A lot of the simulation theory being tossed around by physics seems to fit in there too. The total indifference of this reality experience we are living in rings true, unhappily, since I loved the idea of a personal God, whom I could actually petition and influence. I admit I have seen little evidence of that possibility, but it has happened to an amazing degree at least once in my life. There's some ego for you, lol. Something about the basic concept feels off to me, but I cannot articulate it at this point. I need to chew on it awhile...thanks very much for posting it and giving my tired brain a good workout. I'd love to hear your viewpoint on it. I recommend the Cold Case Christianity videos on YT to you, since they seem to take away much of the need to make the leap of faith he speaks of, before one is allowed to experience the Urgrund for oneself.
You said: "I just have this unrelenting compulsion to KNOW." This is off topic, but there are many threads at EC on this subject if interested.....do you know your Myers-Briggs personality type? That quote makes me suspect you are an INFJ like so many of us here at EC, the world's rarest type, but common in empaths. The Enneagram type and the Big Five typing are also interesting. The MBTI and the other two are free online. I find they help me understand people better, and as an INFJ, I need extra help with that, since I often feel like odd woman out!
I am sure there may be a few other ENFPs. The "N" is the thing that would be most likely associated with empaths, imo, though being an 'I' type may be easier for empaths, since we get overwhelmed by being around people too much and 'E' types really need people. ENFP is INFJs best match though, so you should get along great with most of us.
I tried to get in between two women at a rock show last saturday. I had to. The aggressor in this situation had no reason to pick on this girl standing in front of her. She just wanted to fight. So I worked my way in the middle of it attempting to block her. It didn't do much good. Instead, her boyfriend and his friends came after me. By trying to stop the conflict I simply made myself the target. I figured it was better for me to take the brunt of the attack than this poor woman just trying to enjoy the show. I left with a feeling that the world is falling apart and there is nothing I can do about it. I can't control the spirits of others.
I'm compelled to be the peace maker, but it rarely happens. I'm really tired of the conflict.
I remember you saying you have your own business now and that is bound to be better. That's what my HSP husband had to do, though he and I both still had to deal with some unreasonable clients. I hope what you have chosen is compatible with who you are. When I was young, I thought I was unlimited and could mold myself into anything I wanted; that I should and could fit myself into any type of job, if need be. That belief turned out to be so wrong that it cost me my health, permanently. I would not wish that on anyone.
Exactly! I've worked in different fields and molded myself into each position with such ease until i realized it was affecting my overall health. I also went to school for social services and am considering getting a part time job in that field while my Life Coaching business takes off. I hate calling it a business sometimes because it makes it feel like a transaction. All i really want to do is help as many people as i can but i guess at the end of the day, it is a business of course and that's okay.
Growing up thinking I was the only one experiencing the world the way I did and trying to find a diagnosis to match how i felt wasn't always the easiest. I feel so blessed to have found this forum and want to thank everyone for being so open about their personal journey. It's very healing and brings me comfort in hearing others experience a lot of the same things i went through and continue to go through in this human experience.
@zacharias and @michelle,
I really don't feel I can add much to what michelle said, since she did a good job, and I have a serious rage problem from the Lyme Disease being in my brain, and have avoided crowds for over 3 decades now due to the overwhelm, so I have not been in that situation for a very long time. I have no right to say what to do, since I could not handle even being there in the first place!
In the past I have been in situations like that and I usually tried to make a joke out of it and say to the aggressor something like "hey man, you must be having a really bad day and Im sorry, but it's not her fault", meaning the stranger who was being harassed. I am not sure that will work today, when people seem angry for no reason at all., as if they were being manipulated like marionettes. Like michelle, I suspect more interference by the dark side, and maybe even from all the radiofrequency pollution going on. There are videos on YT by Edge of Wonder about mind control through smartphones. Sounds bizarre I know, but I don't think we need microchips inside us to be controlled by them (mark of the beast), and it is one reason why flip phones are back in style with those who are awake to this. The 2 guys who make up Edge of Wonder are Christians and they try to keep even heavy subjects hopeful. They have a 2 part video on this subject which is about 20 mins. total for both parts.
I think helping someone who needs it is always better than not helping, but we need to try to avoid burn out somehow.
The part time Soc. Serv. job sounds like a great idea. My husband made his house into a duplex and rented half of it out while growing his business, then converted it back to single family once he was making enough. We do whatever it takes to get it going if the passion is there.
Social services pays horribly as I'm sure you know. Teachers are rich by comparison, lol. I grew up very poor and that actually helped me there, since I never had trouble living on what others considered a too low to live on salary. I wish you the best possible outcome for all of this. I too find this forum to be a life preserver in a sea full of sharks!
This situation happened very quickly. I didn't stop to pray and ask for God to work through me. Instead I acted on my own. I know what I did wrong. It was pride. I thought I could handle it on my own. I'm still a stupid human. No I didn't get hurt except my ego.
Normally at these shows I'm able to transmute the energy and use it. I'm filled with energy! That's why I love going. The vibe at this show was different. My mood going in was different. Nothing happened the way I expected. The one thing I normally do that I didn't do this time was pray. Before the show starts I usually pray for everyone and ask God to give me strength to last the night. These show are very physical. I'm an old man. I need that energy. It's a great thing to be able to connect to the entire crowd. The energy from them makes me feel like a teenager again. This time I messed it up from the beginning. I was waiting at the front of the stage for an hour or so for the show to start. The whole time I'm looking around at these people I despise. It was wrong. I fill myself with anger and you can guess what I received in return.
I haven't been able to shake this feeling of resentment, anger, frustration, despise for the human race. People around me have been extremely stressed lately. The past few months have been very off. I know it's a spiritual attack. I'm using it to work through all the negative emotions I'm holding onto from the past. I know I could be a healer if I would drop this. It's a major spiritual conflict to love all people and hate them at the same time. This is definitely my biggest issue as an Empath.
Thank you @michelle , I very much appreciate your input. I see the enemy as weak but not ineffective. These beings are much smarter than I am. I underestimated the influence the enemy has on others. I try to remind myself that what I read from them isn't who they really are. I do the same things they do. I'm no different. I'm no better. It's judgment and pride I allow to get between me and God. Once I do I can't hear that quiet voice. I'm going to meditate on this for awhile. It seems to always come back to forgiveness. I haven't forgiven them all.
@cheshire-cat - I'm an esoteric Christian. I decided this after listening to Mark Passio. To me it isn't important if Jesus actually existed, although, it's much easier to believe He did than not. It's the example he set that we emulate. Therein lies the power and freedom from the slavery of the enemy. Jordan Peterson put it another way. He doesn't claim to believe in God. He acts as though God exist.
Glad to see another fan of Mark Passio. I do wish Mark would not make the same point over and over though. His talks could be 1/3 as long and still make the same good points. Mark also gets very worked up and angry and I pick that up, making my own anger problem worse. I also love Jordan Peterson....seems you and I think a lot alike.
I have the same love-hate problem with people. I think it's from easily seeing negative traits that other people don't seem to pick up, not to mention all the lying that goes on. I think that push-pull people thing is common in empaths, and more importantly, I believe most people would feel that way too if they picked up what we do, so please don't be too hard on yourself.
Thank you again, @michelle . I'm guess I'm more or less an idealistic person. I thought I was a realist. In some sense I am. There is plenty I simply accept about the world with no judgment, but the things that effect me directly I want to change. At this point I just want peace, so today I see the world as is.
This morning I saw the picture of Jesus you have hanging on your wall. The first time was the link you put up of the poster. The second time was the actual framed print. I have it sitting next to me at the moment while I'm thinking about where to hang it. It measures 21.5" by 13.5" with a gold frame. It's an extremely close copy to the poster except the color is darker and Jesus has a halo. He's watching the city by night. He's separated from it, yet the look on his face is compassion. I can identify with this. This is an amazing coincidence that I find this picture in my workroom today of all the days. It must have been in the church for 30 years or so in some back closet, but someone put it in my workroom for me to find. Thank you God. That was a cool one. It reminds me that even though he knew the people of Jerusalem would turn on him, He still loved them. He was looking at the world without judgement.
Yes, my prayer today was out of desperation. I feel 100% better than I did last night. God answered my prayer in an unexpected way.
@zacharias and @michelle,
What a fabulous story to read this morning. NO coincidences indeed.. your poster story made my day. Thanks for letting us all know about it.
hmm my biggest empath problem is my mother haha....I love her of course but living with her I feel so many of her emotions and pains. She tends to spread them about all over the place. She does not show emotion very much on the outside but on the inside there is a whole turmoil going on and she 'projects' those emotions and pains into her surroundings. I can walk from my studio into the kitchen and through a 'cloud' on the way there. Empath perceptions always seem to be magnified to a degree and I guess that is from conditioning myself as a child to be hyper-vigilant where my fathers emotions were concerned, so it's definitely a well worn in habit. A habit that really turned up a notch when I was 32 years old.
My biggest issue is to not always know what I have just detected. But I feel I must react to it because i might loose a ''hint''. but is it a trap? is it real? it drives me nuts. Its the hardest thing ever for me....
My biggest issue is to not always know what I have just detected. But I feel I must react to it because i might loose a ''hint''. but is it a trap? is it real? it drives me nuts. Its the hardest thing ever for me....
Hi Robert....Yes it's very uncomfortable isn't it? I can read a few different feelings now....one in particular is a 'puffed feeling' that I've added to my list of 'I know what that is now' feelings. The puffed feeling comes from when people are doing one thing and thinking about the next thing they need to do and then the next thing. Too many things. But I still get feelings that I have no clue about.
Hi Muse Jewl, yes sometimes I am feeling like that, the fact I am not sure of what went wrong makes me crazy sometimes, because I was sure something bad happened and I had to figure out what, because my radar picked up a VERY important negative trait from them (or her-him)...a deep sure subconscious feeling. Not always translated in my conscious mind...!
i feel that a split second is enough for the person in front of me to know i am distracted and unsure, and they use that split second of void (knowing in that time, i am off guard!!) to provoque even more...by saying something that doesn't help. They can detect that a split second did happened and know my hesitation. , and then, things get out of control! know what I 'm saying, its like a war of words, energy and feelings.!!!!!!
Hi Mike, What are the top 3 crystals your using to get rid of any types of negative energies an where on your body you put them? Do you use bracelets? necklaces?
My biggest issue as an empath is feeling very high inhibition at all times. For example, driving is a big issue for me because it feels as though everyone around me is judging everything I do.
I really need to live alone. I do best when I do, but I had a really bad experience in my last apt. Hostile neighbors, rent too high, etc. Then I had (what I thought was) was an opportunity to get away from that. For reference I lived alone for 15 years. Then things didn't work out and I left NYC, which I love, and came down to Va. Beach to stay with my best friend, her 3 yo daughter, & grown son. It's been grueling. She's a highly sensitive/empathic person as well, but has very different mind issues to me, as does her son. I don't really care to be around children and swore as a childfree person that I wouldn't ever live with any, but I have no choice, as I have a cat and a disability, so anyway, I've asked her to give me space in the kitchen so that I can prepare dinner w/o her energy infecting me. She just thinks it's funny that her spaciness and forgetfulness infects me, but it isn't funny b/c I have ADHD, my own stuff, & need her to be away from the kitchen, but on a few occassions she's not done it, as I asked. I haven't been eating right the last few days and am feeling quite cranky living on snacks (healthy ones, but still). Her son got a mini-fridge for me for upstairs to put my coffee maker on. My cat food is in there too. The 2nd floor isn't doing me any favors either. My right hip has been hurting since I arrived. But she's been so generous and tried to accommodate me so much. I feel so bad for feeling bad, or not better. But my life blew up in a short amount of time, I didn't have time to deal. And now I'm living with people again, really need my own place. I also don't have a car and am on a fixed income, as I'm on SSD.
So the biggest challenge for me is living with other people. I am an extrovert, but I like to come home to peace, quiet, & solitiude. W/O solititude I feel really irritable, aggravated, & annoyed. I find it easier to deal with my physical problems when I have a peaceful head, than to have everyone in my face & trying to help & being kind. I know that sounds counterintutive. But they overwhelm me a lot more now that my health has gotten worse. I am looking for places I can afford and applying to affordable housing. But I'm hoping that I can get into work mode again, do something freelance online/from home to save more money.
My friend is bringing the rest of my belongings from my storage facility in NYC, I had lived in Newark NJ, then stayed in NYC for a little while at a friend's house. But his wife was an awful person. One of those people who likes to create problems, drama, & issues. She doesn't sleep & won't let anyone else sleep either. I'd been awake for about 3 days straight when I arrived here. It was a nightmare. A store for another post.