Too much is retained

By Eternalcrow, 2019-09-17

That clenched feeling just remains as the need to let out a long breathe builds.


The whole body needs to be cleansed as too much is retained.

It is never released.

Posted in: Empath

Reading offer?

By Robertz Caffer, 2019-03-24

Id like to know if someone would be willing to do a reading on me,of me. Some use tarots, some are just using their own psychic abilities. I need assistance in clearing 2-3 subjects recently. A million hugs* !

Posted in: Reading

The Mirror & Me

By Muse Jewl, 2019-03-24
The Mirror & Me

My reflection is powerful....some days I look myself squarely in the eyes...other days I avoid my reflection altogether.  I don't want to address that right now...I just want to hide under a towel or a blanket and avoid myself haha...other times I look myself squarely in the eyes and give myself a good talking to...about where I'm at....what I'm doing...what's not working and what is...other times I smile and I'm so proud of you.  I wish I did that all the time...but some days I hide and that is ok.  Sometimes the reflection that I see in the mirror is who I want to be.... I look pretty...I look confident and even a little sassy...Those are the good days.  I want more of those.


By Robertz Caffer, 2019-03-23

Brain food is food

Brain food is rain

Brain Food drains music

Rain music is food

Main drain is rain

All my food for the Brain

Posted in: Brain Food

A lot has happened

By Peter, 2019-01-24


Hello fellow travelers,

This site (or the original one) helped me survive back in 2009. I kept abreast of things in the universe but have once again lost my way as life has been intense for the last few years. I am older and more introspective about things now. Less inclined to be open to any uncaring or hostile outside influences. This has allowed me some growth but recent events have overwhelmed me and I can't seem to get back on track. 

I have had close contact with a strong empath on a personal level. She ( as I recently found out) uses her sensitivities to control those around her. Its a survival mechanism for her, her parents were junkies who left her to raise herself from age 14 on. Her empathic abilities are very high and she uses them like a sword. I tried to help her with this for the last two years but she has now taken another path and I am left sad and adrift. Rereading this sounds like I am a candidate for the broken hearts club but it way more intense and depressing than a lost friend or lover. We were attached on a higher level which surprised me time and again and now I am situationally alone and feel like I am falling into nothingness. Not sure what I am asking for or needing here, maybe just to see it in print.

Normally when I sleep or close my eyes I see random Rhor-shock type light patterns behind my eyelids. This has always been a comforting thing for me. Past stresses and insomnias did cause them to disappear in the past but they always returned when I was once again balanced in my emotional happy place. Now the patterns are actually bright red on a stark black background and very disturbing.

I have always appreciated the brilliance of this site and adore the wealth of experience and situational experience here.


Posted in: Needing updates

An Apology and Explaination

By michelle, 2018-12-16

I apologize for any harm I caused you. It was not my intention to do so. I am not bi-polar but suffer from severe and long lasting PTSD. During our conversations, I experienced a shock and was having flashbacks. Not to place any blame but I was triggered by your words of suicide attempts, which was what I was thinking about but have never acted on them, ever. I wanted to speak to you of how you dealt with your attempts or idealization of suicide. For me it was also uncanny when you mentioned the neighbor's loud music which I had been dealing with nightly from my son all week long until 4am or so.

Again, I was triggered. PTSD is not a mental illness but rather soul loss or fracture due to trauma. Mine never responded to drug therapy which is more the norm than not. I also have high sensitivity to all medications. 

The ongoing trauma I experience is the result of others' depraved and evil actions, one who meant to kill me.

The premise which views post-traumatic stress as a disorder rests on the false belief that people are normally capable of enduring severe trauma or stress without lasting, deep and impairing mental and behavioral struggles. Yet as holocaust survivor and psychologist, Viktor Frankl wrote:

An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior."

Again, forgive me for any distress I caused you. I will not burden you with any news of my ordeal. I do wish that you had not spoken to our mutual friend. In regards to that, I naively thought to trust you; but as you said, I do not know you. 

Extremely Restless

By Steffck, 2018-08-14

anyone feeling extremely restless?  It creeps up in my back .but it’s worse than ever . I can hardly set still it miserable .

Posted in: default

By Meaning of Name

By Chezarey, 2018-07-22

"Chezarey" Is a name I designed for myself when I was roughly 15 years old.

"Cheza" is the name of a character from an anime, which I found absurdly beautiful. The name resonated with me so much I felt it was for me. I decided to add "rey" to the end to make it different from the character and more of my own. Over the years "Chezarey" has been my handle for everything. I have also taken additional spellings of "Chezaray" and "Chezarae" for periods of time.

Recently, I have begun trying to figure out what this name means. In my research I have tried breaking the name(s) down different ways:

Derivative of "Chezarina" which is latin " feminine form of Cesar "

"Chez" meaning " house of "
"Rey" meaning " king "

In hebrew - " God will multiply " -- Spanish " God will add " -- " names that start with Che are more often feminine names ."
" Za names are more often feminine names "

-- In this search I found "Zarah." Zarah is " White; flower " also, a form of Sarah, which happens to be my first name.
"Zara" means " Radiance " and a form of Sarah.
"Sarah" Hebrew for " princess "
Meaning " King "

I looked into the additional spellings, too. I am a firm believer in my intuition and know there will be some kind of meaning from this name.

Can be broken down in the same ways with the added ending "ray" instead of "rey"
Of English and Old German meaning " protecting hands " Old French meaning " king " Scottish meaning " Grace " Latin meaning "radiance "

Can also be broken down with the added ending of "rae"
Of Scottish is " Grace " and " another form of Ray "


The conclusion:

Starting with the prefix - with the discovery of "Chezarina" meaning " feminine form of  Cesar " and the description of "Che" and "Za" both saying " are more often feminine names " I would conclude "Cheza" to mean " feminine " or " feminine form "
I will not discount the Hebrew and Spanish meaning of "Che" being "God will add" - Especially since my given first name is also Hebrew.
I will also not discount "Za" pointing to "Zarah/Zara" which leads to my given first name (Hebrew) "Sarah" meaning " princess "
"Cheza" meaning " God will add feminine " " God will add femininity " or " God will add princess "

God will add femininity to king. God will add feminine king. God will multiply feminine-king

I decided to research what it means for God to add or for God to multiply, as this interpretation makes little sense. I do love and GREATLY identify with the idea of "Feminine King." I am female and identify as female, though, I do demand the respect and treatment of a man and do not mind being called "boy" "man" "dude" etc. At the same time I often dress pretty girly - I love pink, wear a lot of dark colors but usually a dress or skirts. In short, I suppose, I have a lot of gender fluidity? This is an issue for another time.
Googling "meaning of god will add" I came across
Psalm 115:14-15 I will be taking these numbers as a sign: 11 and 15 from the "115" and the ending 15.
" The Lord shall increase you more and more —  In number, power, and in all temporal and spiritual blessings, notwithstanding the efforts of your many enemies to diminish, weaken, and distress you. Hebrew,  יס Š  עליכם the Lord shall add to you,  namely, further and greater blessings."
Taking from the first sentence I would say Chezarey means "God will increase/assist power/spirit of the feminine king." As I am not Christian, another interpretation for God could be "universe" "source" "creator" So, I am not sure how to put into words the assistance and empowerment of feminine king. For now, "Feminine King" sounds perfect to me.

The ending of "ray" only suggests a descriptor of "graceful" or "radiant" King. Feminine and radiant king. I decided the radiant meaning is a better fit for "ray" as it related to the rays of a sun.

The ending of "rae" is pretty much the same as the ending "ray" - a descriptor of King. Feminine and graceful king.

In a slightly farther stretch and in relation to my crafted name - I am a Leo. Lions, "king of the jungle" are usually the animal symbol for kings and royalty.
In relation to "ray" ending, Leo is a fire sign with 'planet' ruling of the sun. Rays of the sun.
In another relation: feminine. Lions are mostly ruled by the females - the males are only there for protection and breeding.

Diving in deeper and a little more personal : Numerology.

My given name is different from my current, second "given" name. My mom gave me her last name until her and my biological father were married, when she had my last name changed to his.

3, 8, 11, 15, 22 have been associated with me though my life. I won't be getting into the significance here.

Original given name : 4 with 14 total characters

Second given name (current name) : 11 with 13 total characters **

First name : 11 with 5 total characters **

Middle name: 8 with 4 total characters

Original last name: 3 with 6 total characters ▲

Current last name: 1 with 5 total characters *

Chezarey: 1 with 8 total characters *, ∞

Chezaray Chezarae: 4 with 8 total characters 

I think it is very interesting that:
All spellings of my crafted name contain 8 characters, relating to the numerology of my middle name. ∞
Chezarey and my current last name have the same numerology number, 1, in addition, my current full name numerology comes to 11 (two 1's)
Chezaray and Chezarae have the same numerology number as my middle name, 4.
It is really, really cool to me that my crafted names relate to the two names that have been consistent in my life in two different ways.

My origional last name shares the characters C, K, E, Y with Chezarey and Chezaray.

So, in the end. Holy crap, intuition.

Posted in: Sarah's Soliloquy

The energetics of food for empaths

By sasha.w, 2018-03-12
The energetics of food for empaths

My health-food obsessed atheist Jewish friend has a mantra:

Your diet is the religion of your body.

(N. Herbstman)

I'm not quite sure what he means by that. But let's say that he means that food is important. Amen. I would add, it is particularly important for sensitives.

During my hippie hermit phase in the countryside, after one of my many major crashes, we spent weeks, if not months, putting me on a nutritional rehabilitation programme.

His idea of that was pots full of blended beetroot, flax seed and oil ( insane amounts of flax oil!), and at least five raw yolks from countryside eggs (that we walked an hour and a half to buy privately from a nearby farm) daily.

It actually worked. I won't tell you to eat beetroot and flax seed daily though.


Eating "healthy" may not be healthy (or enough)  for you , especially as a sensitive

During my voyage with nutrition, lasting now 3-4 years of in-depth study and self-experimentation, and a much longer phase of struggling with eating disorders and making mistakes, I've come to see that nutrition – what is the optimal, or even the good-enough food for one particular embodied being – is individual.

Unlike the food pyramids that used to be on the back side of corn flake boxes, I've come to see that there is no one standard "healthy" prescription for everyone.

This can be especially important for sensitives and empaths, as our nervous system and whole bodymind is often quite far from the "average" that the standard nutritional recommendations are designed for (although you might question whether some of them even work for the "average" person).

Example : I know vegans with excellent energy, and a friend who eats processed meat three times per day (if not more) and is fit and radiant. My Jewish friend can literally live on beetroot, eggs, and lentils and hike and run daily. But his best friend who was vegetarian with a less active lifestyle kept crashing until she started eating meat (and now is fine). Another friend's great-aunt was sickly and overweight until she went on a raw food vegan diet at age 70 and regained her mental and physical vitality.

However, saying that what your body needs is individual isn't to say it's random .

Systems of personalised nutrition

My favourite system for making educated guesses on what might likely be good for whom is the extensive nutritional branch of Ayurveda, the traditional Indian medicine system underpinning Yoga. While there are other great approaches (both ancient and modern), this one happens to be my pet topic because it's helped me and was my initiation into understanding the energetics, psychological and spiritual meanings of food (which before that I had regarded as simply "calorie fuel", in a Western manner).

My other major influence is the holistic psychiatrist Kelly Brogan. I bumped into her website after my friend convinced me that it's an obvious fact staring him blatantly in the face that my energy crashes and mental episodes (many of which I didn't yet realise were empath episodes) were related to food . What I'd eaten on that day.

That was in 2012 and I thought he's paranoid. Now in 2018, after my moods have stabilised largely due to dietary adjustments that are a cross-over between Ayurveda and Dr Brogan's paleo-like brain-targeted recommendations (between which there is substantial overlap despite different genealogies), I see he was spot on.

If you experience mood instability that exacerbates the downsides of your sensitivity, food may or may not be a major driver. It's individual. But from my personal experience I would suggest strongly that you at least investigate it before you rule it out.

Why is body-type-appropriate nutrient-dense food crucial for empaths?

For a long answer, I have written a half-fictional, half-real nutritional horror story here.

For a short answer:

  1. If you suffer from empath overload, it seems quite likely that your body is depleted of various nutrients. This is because the stress response and all the biochemical processes you go through every time you have intense emotions (yours or others') actually use up nutrients. When you are emotionally stressed, as you may be, you use more . If you don't compensate with a very sound nutritional foundation, you may experience depletion symptoms without realising that's what they are (more below).

  2. Your system is sensitive. This sensitivity isn't usually confined to the mind, but affects your psycho-physical totality. Just like your mind can respond very strongly to things which less sensitive people would just pass over, it is very likely that your digestive system does the same. In fact, the brain, skin, and gut develop from the same embryonic tissue, and even Western science is increasingly recognising the central role of the  gut-brain axis  – how closely the brain and gut interact – to physical and mental health. This connection was a given for millennia in Ayurvedic, traditional Chinese, and even ancient Greek medicine (maybe travelled there from the famous Arabic medics). So as a rule of thumb, sensitive nervous system => likely a sensitive gut, too (and often a sensitive skin, with allergies etc., in my case true).

  3. If you are energy-sensitive, it's likely that you are also sensitive to the energetics of your food . This is a concept that doesn't seem to exist in Western nutritional science (at least I haven't come across it, please correct me if I'm wrong), while it's the foundation again of many traditional nutritional systems including Indian and Chinese ones. I discuss this in more depth below. In my experience, this ancient approach to food can be great empath-fun – you get to exercise your energy skills to compose meals! 

  4. Ultimate reason : once your body is well-nourished and (relatively) free from toxic build-up, you will gradually come to feel like you have been gifted a thick, cosy protection blanket that is always wrapped around you – negative energies affect you much less without you doing anything in the mental realm. I would say that this is the sound foundation for any kind of serious psychological or spiritual work, which may otherwise just overwhelm your system more. 

  5. Related ultimate reason : your mind will gradually come to feel clear , sharp and calm  most of the time (you may only realise the difference after the fact). With that type of mind you stand a much better chance of actually weathering emotional storms, stay cool in your contacts with the spirit world (if these guys talk to you), and mustering the necessary mindfulness and self-discipline you need to successfully get a grip on your interaction with energy or even start doing energy work.

Some basic Ayurvedic tips for empaths

Eat (mostly) what grows, not what's made. Or make it yourself

I won't take up space arguing why you'll feel better eating what grows on trees or in gardens or fields or on farms than that which is made in factories. Unprocessed, home-cooked (or cooked some place that cares about quality, which can get very expensive) food is the baseline.

You won't get away without some cooking. Well, I hate cooking, but there are workarounds to get decent, tasty, healthy meals in 15-20 minutes, or pre-cook greater quantities to eat over time. It's doable and there are many resources on how to do that.

Pay attention to the energetics of your food

The special point to add for empaths here is that to us this may matter even more, because of the energy carried in food. Try to sense it yourself. Pick a piece of fruit freshly from a tree – for me it feels like there is a kind of sparkling, upward-rising energy in my body after I eat it. It lifts me up, gives me a lightness and readiness for action.

Then pick something that's from a can or box and full of chemicals. Don't pay attention to the taste in your mouth as much as the "taste" that arises in your body after you've consumed it. Everyone senses this differently, but that taste will in all likelihood not be a sparkling, invigorating "upward" movement. It may more feel like tiredness, sluggishness, sleepiness; or on the other hand, getting slightly over-hyped, nervous, or even hungry (some industrial foods tend to be designed to make you hungry).

Experiment with what makes you feel how – not in your mouth, but in your body in the minutes and hours after you've eaten it. Do that for days, weeks. Then decide how you want to feel most of the time.

(This is an Ayurvedic concept. Each food has two tastes in Ayurveda, the taste in the mouth and the post-digestive taste in the body – the way this food affects your metabolism. You can even look that up in old scriptures and modern manuals. But you can just as well just  feel it, especially as an empath or sensitive.)

Eat (good) fat and protein

As they say, the brain is 60% fat (after taking out the water). Ayurveda as well as modern approaches to nutritional support for e.g. depression and autism recognise that the nervous system needs fat .

The type of fat matters – it has to be unprocessed. Good choices are (the virgin versions of) olive oil, coconut oil, flax oil (supposedly especially good for the nervous system), other oils that are directly pressed and unprocessed, avocados, ghee (the Ayurvedic panacea for nervous Vata issues) and butter (if you tolerate dairy), nuts and seeds, yolks, fish such as sardines, mackerel, herring (some fish contains toxic residues, read up on that), the fatty parts of animals that were farmed in a reasonable way (that includes lard).

That's not exactly what's considered "healthy" in the mainstream. But if you're a sensitive or empath, especially if you are Ayurvedically a Vata-type, you may feel miserable – unstable, irritable, ungrounded – on a "healthy" diet of salads and crackers (unless you live in a very hot country; again, climate matters).

How much fat will depend on your body type – if you have a rather light (Vata) build (look at your bone structure, not whether you are currently overweight), you can get away literally drinking oil from a bottle on top of avocados and butter; I did that especially in winter (when the body needs more fat in northern climates) and lost weight . (That's because we gain weight usually from the blood sugar roller-coaster caused by sugar and refined carbs.)

The trick is to use fat to add flavour instead of using sugar.

And to use fat to add calories instead of using lots of (especially refined) carbs.

I don't want to go into the details why this works here, but the main point is that fat is processed much more slowly in the body, which is why it gives you hours and hours of stable energy – once you get used to this, you won't need snacks – instead of the quick fly-and-crash with episodes of low blood sugar that put a sensitive nervous system on edge (here is an illustration).

Note on body types :

If you are of a medium, naturally athletic build, and have a lot of "fire" (Pitta) in you (red or blond hair, sparkling eyes, freckles, ambition and a temper) you will need less fat and it's better if you focus on plant sources. Refreshing (including raw) food may be especially good for you.

If you are of a heavier (Kapha) build (again, look at your bones) even healthy fat may aggravate you. It will be more important to skip the sugar (learn about and use aromatic spices instead) and focus on foods with a clear, light, animating (as opposed to heavy and dulling) energy.

Take food sensitivities seriously, even if you think you don't have any

I thought I don't have any food sensitivities. I just had chronic, randomly appearing rashes on my hands (which the doctor said has no reason, just use cortisol). And joint pains (again, doctor said my joints look ok). And almost constant bloating (which I had since childhood, hence thought that's just the natural shape of my belly). And various PMS symptoms (hey, isn't that a "normal" part of inhabiting a female body? hint: no.). And apparently random mood swings throughout the day (especially in the afternoon), which were not always caused by picking up the emotions of others. And I'd wake up sometimes feeling heavy and sluggish in the mornings, with less than good breath (again, this is not how nature designed it). ...

I've lost most of these symptoms and greatly reduced others after I realised that I have several food sensitivities (in my case dairy, nuts, and possibly gluten – still testing). I used to eat all these daily, so I didn't notice the connection with food – the symptoms were just always there.

This changed when I visited a friend who was on a gluten and dairy free diet for her Hashimoto's thyroiditis (bringing her antibody levels down). Since I was staying with her for three weeks, and she loves to cook while I hate to cook, I just ate exactly what she ate during that time. And – after three weeks I almost had no rashes left (which I'd had almost non-stop from age 3 to 32).

Take dietary solutions to mood and mind issues seriously

Remember the gut-brain axis. Read up on it. Test it for yourself.

Going deeper in my search for solutions to my mood and other symptoms, and also suspecting that I may have Asperger's (in the phase when I had an interest in psychiatric labels), I bumped into the scientific literature on diet-based support for anxiety, depression (example here ), and autism symptoms. I read that sensitivities to dairy and gluten are frequent in people with ASD and other mental and mood "issues", and found additional tips apart from staying gluten and dairy free (like the above mentioned emphasis on fat and protein, and other tips I am hoping to gradually share here).

Note one thing about the population that these guidelines apply to – people with autism, those who have a tendency towards anxiety and depression, whose minds are strongly affected by negative life events bringing them into mental trouble – this is essentially a population of sensitives . For example Kelly Brogan, a psychiatrist who has developed a nutritional program for recovering from depression, recognises that in her article Heal the artists, save the world  (for some reason I get oddly moved by that one).

You may not think that diffuse symptoms like the ones listed above have something to do with food. You may even be depressed or diagnosed with a mental disorder, and think it has nothing to do with food. It may not (there are various reasons always). But actually there is a huge chance that it does, and an even bigger chance that even if the root cause is somewhere else, food will help a lot . To gain strength and be able to deal with the root cause. It did for me and many others.

And, funny enough, this is also a basic tenet of many traditional medicines throughout the world (including Ayurveda) – the mind is not as independent of the body as we like to believe in the West, at least not while we are in this earthly life. A stable mind is greatly furthered by a healthy gut. And a stable bodymind makes life as an empath incomparably easier; I would say it's indispensable for keeping your sanity.

Forage some of your food

This may sound unusual, but for me learning which wild-growing plants in my immediate environment are edible (trust me, there will be plenty wherever you live) and adding even tiny amounts of plants I have personally collected to my meals was the grounding of groundings.

Not every empath may be sensitive to this, but for me this was healing on a deep psychological level, as if a sacred connection that had been broken was being mended.

A friendly starting resource, written by an empath (she doesn't call herself that, but what do you call someone who communicates with plants since childhood?) is The Wild Wisdom of Weeds  by Katrina Blair.

Eat when the sun is highest

We are a diurnal species, meaning we are designed to be active during the day and sleep at night. So is our digestive system. Eat during the day, eat less after sunset and nothing late night. The body is designed to follow the rhythm of the sun – digest during the day, detox during the night.

Eat a big lunch, a small dinner, stop eating 2-3 hours before going to bed, and observe how you feel when you wake up after that in the morning. (Hint: fresh, light, and ready to go.)

While these are basic tenets of both Ayurveda and what's now called "circadian medicine" valid for everyone, I feel that as empaths we may get special psychological / spiritual benefits from synchronising with the natural cycles – after a while, this may feel to your body and also spirit like mending a broken but vital connection.

Eat (only) when hungry, and (if you are eating natural foods) what you are hungry for

The first part of this is hopefully fairly obvious; don't eat out of boredom, nervousness, pain, lack of stimulation or lack of love. In those states your food just burden your system instead of being transformed into energy (for some that means it gets stored as unnecessary fat). Having myself had an over 10-year-long history with eating disorders, I know that this is much easier said than done, and I hope to write on this in detail if there is interest.

Once you eat natural foods and have (roughly) synchronised with the cycle of the sun, your body's hunger and craving patterns will shift. As the connection between the natural world and your inner ecosystem is re-established, you will gradually be able to trust your cravings more – your body is designed to know what's good for it when you put it in conditions that are as close to our ancestral ways of life as possible (i.e. real food, some outdoor time, diurnal activity cycle). This is also a bigger topic that I hope to write an in-depth article on.

Pay attention to your own energy when eating

Try as much as you can to eat sitting down, in a peaceful setting, with a relaxed mind. That is the only way your food gets digested properly. Even if you eat "healthy", eating on the run is enough to interfere with your body's capacity to break the food down and get all the nutrients you need.

This is especially true if you have a sensitive nervous system. Movement and too much stimulation (TV, heated discussions, a nervous atmosphere, or even walking / running around) while eating makes for an agitated brain which directly makes for a dysregulated gut (think gut-brain axis) – your body is closer to "fight or flight" than "rest and digest", which makes your physiology inefficient at getting energy even from the best food.

If you think that as long as you just stuff in the "fuel"  somehow , you will get the energy – test this. Have a rested, slow meal, and check in with how your belly, body, and energy feel. Check how you digest (bloating? rummaging?). Then eat on the run, and test again.

In conclusion

In my experience, meditating, practicing empath techniques, seeking out insights and self-development, without working on a strong psychophysical foundation makes us a bit like the Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland ... you run a lot but don't get far.

By all means work on meditation, empath techniques, and spiritual development – but also consider that food is not fuel – food is information and energy . Food is one of the main routes that our bodies are connected to our ecosystem, to mother nature. That connection is sacred (even though our current lifestyle is desecrating it in unspeakable ways). From my experience, as an empath or a highly sensitive person, finding a new (or ancient) connection to the living universe through food can be the most profound grounding and rooting practice that you will ever find, and can be profoundly healing not just to the body, but also to the soul.

If you got through this post, you may also enjoy my other empath lifestyle articles on

Sensitivity is strength

By sasha.w, 2018-03-10
Sensitivity is strength

Walking down High Street naked, backwards and blind: empaths and hypervigilance

Don’t worry, the title is metaphorical (and not meant as an offence to nudists or blind people).

But this is what some empaths and clairsentients seem to feel like – at first – when we try, perhaps for the first time in life, to navigate life without having our psi-radar scan   everyone ,   everywhere ,   all the time .

Or when for some reason, such as extreme exhaustion, it malfunctions. This never happened to me, but did to a friend and she described it as feeling “blind” suddenly, being unable to identify people’s feelings and intentions without huge mental effort. She felt lost and scared.

In my own case, I didn’t realise or accept I even have a psychic radar until age 32 or 33. It took a psychic healer accusing me of invading her field and a long follow-up research to realise that I’m actually   constantly   reading people – I just thought that’s a normal part of just seeing or meeting them (and everyone does it). I didn’t realise that’s what was driving me so intensely   exhausted   whenever I spent time with people.

Now after at first regarding that kind of accusation as absurd and fictional, I started around with testing my supposed psi. And I saw it was correct much of the time, and also that most other people   really   didn’t see what I saw.

So when I saw and accepted that, I understood that it’s in fact unethical to just leave this radar “on” at all times, and started playing with ways to switch it “off” – I learnt after a while that I can choose to  not   go down a certain path of psycho-physical-soul “attunement” with a person and then I won’t receive all these signals.

I actually only learnt this when I started doing energy work and deliberately attuning to people; I realised then that – hey – but actually I am doing this   all the freaking time . So I started trying to   not   do it to preserve not just others’ privacy, but also my sanity.

And that’s what I felt initially: naked and blind; and also lost and worried. Like a child in the fog, as we say in Poland, and at that at night. I felt like anything (what   thing ? energy? behaviour?) could just grab me out of nowhere and I would have no way to predict and evade – I wouldn’t “see it coming”.


However, since I was at this point convinced (mostly thanks to a mentor) that this was the more ethical and, bottom line, healthy thing to do, I persisted.

I had also learnt that this pattern – of having to constantly monitor your environment, with your senses and if you have a psi-like sense, also with that one – can be a product of feeling unsafe in childhood (or some other period in which you pick it up) and become a deeply ingrained habit that is eating up your energies and reserves without you realising it. Just consider how much energy it takes to constantly pay attention to   everything  with your senses, then add on top of that paying attention with your innermost emotional feeling-body (which I’d say I did as an empath).

This pattern is known as hypervigilance – being extremely vigilant because you are implicitly always expecting danger. It can be hard to overcome and un-learning should only be attempted when you are actually safe and can trust that.


After persisting for a while despite the discomfort and the previously unconscious fears that suddenly became conscious, I saw the benefits unfold relatively quickly. It’s like my mental and psychic energy consumption dropped by 80% or something like that. I suddenly had resources free for other things, like enjoying the weather, focussing on work, or being creative. Or thinking clearly. Or being able to focus on myself – on what I myself feel and need (from food to safety to love, which I had previously overlooked), and taking care of that.

I also started feeling safe in a different way – which is not based on monitoring everything around me, but on inhabiting myself in such a way that I feel much more settled and stronger to handle whatever comes my way.

Since for me most of the “danger” was emotional (not physical), I’ve learnt that being settled in myself, I deal with this type of issue much better even if I don’t see it coming from 100 miles away – and the fact is that my intuition usually still tells me early enough. Seeing it from 1 mile away is good enough and allows me to save energy and focus and then have it when it’s needed.

One way I have dealt with this was to actually   ask   my empath sense and intuition to alert me   only   when there is something going on that is really of importance   to me . The rest of the time, I enjoy more peace, silence, and space.


While this is not just an empath issue – anyone can develop mental hypervigilance – for empaths this can be especially burdening when it becomes the major trigger for (subconsciously yet) actively seeking out and reading  everybody’s   emotional and psychophysical information. I used to do that literally with every person who shared a train compartment with me,   just because they were physically there . And needed to almost be (energetically) resuscitated after every train ride.

If this is an issue for you, you might also want to read  (Why) do other peoples’ feelings “stick to you”?


Can you relate? Do you see this differently?

I will be excited to read about your experiences with this in the comments.

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