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frustration with a friend

By: Karen2
Posted in:

I'm so frustrated....I reconnected with a friend a few years ago....he's a very good guy...helped me with so much at a time when I needed help the most....I knew he had feelings for me but I knew I wasn't interested in him in that way...the truth being...I don't trust him....I've known he's told me lies....there are times like today when he's promised to help me with something then something comes up and he cancels...or I do out of frustration...I try not to abuse his time and ask him in advance and I try and pay him what I can when I have the money...either right away or as soon as possible...I'm a very independant person and always feel like I'm imposing when I ask for help...it seems it's only with me he does this...and I feel very disrespected when he does....I sit here all day waiting only to have him cancel...and I've wasted my whole day waiting...I can't really ask my family for help...they also make me feel bad when I ask them for help...I don't like being in this position of relying on people who have proven to me I can't trust them to keep a promise....yet I keep asking and hoping things will work out...sometimes they do...and it ticks me off when I'm let down...he's put off helping me 2 times this week and I feel I can't get angry or tell him because it's his time...yet it's my time to...cause I have to do things around my work scedule......the only way I'm gonna fix this is to get my car going...but I'm gonna need help doing it...and the only person I know who knows stuff like that is my friend but I'll never get it dun because he'll always cancel....or nevershow up...lol....anyway...I'm not sure if I'm looking for insight on this...just need to vent...lol...he does have some empathic abilities...I think...but I don't think he's a true empath as I would think he'd understand how hurtful he is by treating me that way...cause I'd never do that to him...if I made a promise I'd keep it....freindship is important and I don't feel much friendship coming from him....he sais ok to help me then plans his day to over load and decides I'm not important enough to keep his promise...and it feels on purpose....and he's my only friend ...which makes this feel worse...lol...sux...

11/15/15 08:52:29PM @womanwhowalks:

Lol...it makes all sorts of sense...lol...and your not babbling....and thanks for your reply....I always think I'm over reacting....that is... that's what he implied when I just blurted out how I was feeling about being stood up...again.......lol...that I should understand that things don't always work out as planned...etc....he offered to fix it by helping me out tomorrow....the tone was not pleasant so I said no, plus I have to work and shopping before work just drains me and stresses me out, which he doesn't understand....lol....I don't want him to 'fix' things in an angry and resentful way...and now the ball's in my court to ask him all over again to help me out because he offered in that dumb tone saying he won't beg me, so now I gotta beg him.......I need dog food and cat litter and can't carry all that on the bus...and it's such a stupid thing to be angry about except if feels disrespectful when he stands me up...for me I would bust my butt to show up when I'm supposed to be there cause I wouldn't want to let him down....arrange my day so I wouldn't have so much to do so I'd be ABLE to show up...because I respect him...his way just makes me mad and upset...and I feel dumb for letting it bother me...lol...I'm the one rambling now...lol

11/16/15 07:24:08PM @womanwhowalks:
Nope...lol....not a single glee person...
11/16/15 07:24:56PM @womanwhowalks:
Sorry. ..glee isn't supposed to be in there..lol
11/16/15 08:48:26PM @womanwhowalks:

Yup...but I have to be very careful about how I say things....he gets angry pretty fast...not to the point of physical violence...but his energy is very strong when angry and when his voice is added to his energy' I hurt....I did tell him last night via text...and I felt his anger hit my chest even though he's across town...lol...I tried to word it in such a way as not to make him too angry....lol...but I'm always glad I'm not near him when he's angry....

11/18/15 06:14:50AM @laog:

Hmm well he likes you right, what if he thinks by acting like this you will be attracted? Most 'romance' portrayed in western media and 'attraction tactics' are made for people who are mentally unstable lol, i.e dont be frontal you have to beat around the bush(though that is at times understandable) or 'piss her off she will love it'(this is obviously not healthy lol). He could think that if he sucks up to you he will never get to be with you, but if he acts like this somehow he will be more desirable. Another thought is he could just want your attention. Anyway if this person gets pissed off that easily I don't think it is very healthy to be too close to them unless you can somehow confront them easily or know how to shift their anger away. It is possible at least in theory that he is still trying to seduce you and is unaware of his tactics. That can happen quite often.

Hmm well if your car is havin issues try researching solutions based on what isnt workin.

11/18/15 09:54:41PM @womanwhowalks:

Lol...thanks...he said he'd take me tomorrow so will see if he follows through...