This year just keeps getting better
On Saturday I got a guilt-text from my brother saying he never hears from me and I replied the same thing because I too never hear from him. Before it got into a debate via text messages, I sent him an email when I got home from work. That spawned into a weekend-long argument in emails about my behavior being to myself, being introverted, not inviting him to my place, things of that nature.
The entire time, he made judgments based on ignorance because he clearly didn't know what he was talking about, such as my never inviting him over here to spend time with me. My last residence I could not do this because the landlord made it clear that it wasn't my house and I couldn't have guests, family or otherwise. In my current residence, my roommates are slobs which include a whole mess of dog poop on our front lawn that they don't want to clean, so I don't want my family over here so they can see such conditions then judge me even more. He made more judgments about how I never take a moment to contact him, only when I need something. So I shot that right back at him and brought to his attention the many times he sent me a text asking for someone's phone number or address.
His demeanor in all the emails showed him to be arrogant and full of himself. He knew it all and no matter what I said in my defense, he came back with a smart ass remark. I expressed to him if you don't know exactly what you are talking about, you shouldn't rush to judgment and analyze the situation or me because in the end you will always be wrong. I told him there's a reason for everything so don't just assume you have all the facts. I told him he doesn't know my real life so he shouldn't judge me to which he replied he doesn't know my life because I haven't shared it with him. I have, especially my empathic nature which he never once fully acknowledged. I told him I not only mentioned and explained why I am the way I am once in the past, I did it again twice this year and I pointed out that each time he avoids what I say and doesn't discuss it.
He replied he assumes I am talking about my being an empath and went on to say he doesn't believe such things exist. I told him his belief system doesn't make my life as an empath any less real. He doesn't know why I am the way I am and when I tell him why, he avoids the subject because of his disbelief. The entire time he just had smart ass replies after the next and continued avoiding the subject, so I told him I can't make him understand something he refuses to believe in, therefore in the future he doesn't have the right to criticize me for my behavior. From there, I had nothing more to say. He sent me another email with another smart ass reply that I read and deleted. This is the kind of drama that I constantly go through each year, it repeats itself over and over and all my family wants me to do is change how I am so we can all get along. When I called my dad, who also doesn't know I'm an empath, one of the first things he said to me was "sometimes you have to change how you are so you an get along with people a little better." They don't understand that it's not capable of being turned off like a light switch. I don't do well around the public and I especially don't do well around family especially if we have argued in the past about this same subject. So I can't just get out of my feelings and put my differences aside to please someone else, especially after all that he said to me this weekend. This is the very reason I keep to myself because my family all want me to change how I am so I can please them. I can't even believe that was suggested. If I were gay, would they want me to suddenly become straight so they can love me again? That's exactly how this feels.