By Rose3, 2015-10-12
I feel this light fluffy happiness with a hint of pain in my chest.It was weird I have never felt it before and part of me wants to cry.There is this guy I have always though about for years but never dated.Someone or something always got in the way.We hardly ever spoke but there was this connection.Now he is famous I didn't know until I looked him up.Funny because last year he was injured and not doing so well.Anyways I feel happy for him I always wondered what if.I just want to know what it means without talking to him.We had this I hate you but secretly like you thing going on as kids.We both have very strong personality.I am just confused because I am going to be engaged soon and I feel a surge of lust,love and happiness with the other guy and I wonder if I should of gave the other one a chance.
By Rose3, 2015-10-08
I feel like I am a good person.I strive to be my heart is in helping people and trying to change the world.I want to save it from itself and enlighten people.Then there are times I want to be selfish.I want to turn those emotions around onto them.I want to manipulate there emotions because I can.Then I don't I just shut down.I don't protect or defend myself.I am just standing there feeling everything going out of my mind an indecisive un-moving force of nature ready to erupt.
I feel like we as empaths can easily turn into sociopaths if we choose to.I have already crossed that line and it's like one thing can tip me off the edge.I feel like a siren ready for fun and games(the good kind),and then I feel like a banshee on the attack ready to defend.
I just don't want to be the in-between.I want to be good, soulful and pure but I have to try so hard to do that everyday. I want to feel everything yet nothing.I want to be extraordinary but normal.Sometimes I just don't know.
I just need people like me who will give advice and listen to mine as well.Also there is very intense negative energy on this site.Most of all I want training and to not abuse my gift.