I feel like I am a good person.I strive to be my heart is in helping people and trying to change the world.I want to save it from itself and enlighten people.Then there are times I want to be selfish.I want to turn those emotions around onto them.I want to manipulate there emotions because I can.Then I don't I just shut down.I don't protect or defend myself.I am just standing there feeling everything going out of my mind an indecisive un-moving force of nature ready to erupt.
I feel like we as empaths can easily turn into sociopaths if we choose to.I have already crossed that line and it's like one thing can tip me off the edge.I feel like a siren ready for fun and games(the good kind),and then I feel like a banshee on the attack ready to defend.
I just don't want to be the in-between.I want to be good, soulful and pure but I have to try so hard to do that everyday. I want to feel everything yet nothing.I want to be extraordinary but normal.Sometimes I just don't know.
I just need people like me who will give advice and listen to mine as well.Also there is very intense negative energy on this site.Most of all I want training and to not abuse my gift.