The mistaken identity of "understanding" with " soul mate love"
As an Empath... I have had problems in this area throughout my life. .
People in the world are often so touched when they have been "seen" that they sometimes mistake this gift of understanding for magical falling inlove. Or maybe not? I do feel things VERY deeply. When I see good in people, it fills my heart with light and love overflowing... mostly because the world can be such a dark and empty place sometimes. I believe that there are so many around us who are so engulfed in loneliness and in their own pain and stress that when they come across someone who can "see" them, they become so vulnerable and sometimes fall in love with the messenger.This is not good.
Has anyone ever had this problem?
It IS a problem because there are important times when we can feel compelled to reach out to those who are suffering. I am finding that because of this issue, if I am sensing this danger, Iwon't reach out.
I have had the "gift" all of my life. I have some intense memories as a child of being able to see things through the eyes of others. I remember feeling the intense pain and loneliness of a child in grade school who (because of what he was wearing) became labeled in the class as the "scape goat" through no fault of his own and was subject to the worst bullying and teasing I have ever witnessed. My heart broke for this boy and I absolutely refused to care what others thought and I reached out and made him my friend. Too many stories to share here....
That said, it has been a great awakening to me to realize that this gift is not something that everyone has.... and although I can see into others, sometimes very deeply, many times they are not ever going to be able to see into me the same way.I have made a few really bad decisions based on this wrong assumption that I had. THIS was my awakening. Once I realized this, I looked back throughout my whole life and every decision I made suddenly made sense to me... like someone took a needle and thread and made a very solid connection through every event in my life.
The painful fact that I am dealing with, even now, is this. I long to be seen too. Because it has only been recently that I learned that not everyone has the ability to see as deeply as others, it now makes so much sense why I feel so incredibly and very painfully alone. Even surrounded by many loving people, I feel alone and I want to be seen too.
This is why I am here and why I am grateful to have found this community.
I don't want any possible misunderstandings between "being seen" and "oh wow, you must be my soul-mate or something!!! " because I feel very vulnerable myself.
I chose the name "Jar of Clay" because I do love pottery. Clay, from the earth, mixed with some water, thrown onto a wheel, gets beat up and pulverized, gets built up and torn back down, built up, torn down, built up and torn down until it suddenly and magically takes form. Beautiful form. Art work. Humble dirt turned into a beautiful work of art. A JARis very functional. A work of art with a job to do. A purpose. A gift. A vessel to deliver life giving necessities, such as water, to those who are in need.
My journey has led me here where I need toheal, learn and grow.I need to know I am not alone and that there are others and I want to be there to do my part to be encouraging and uplifting to anyone who is feeling lost and confused (as Ihave often felt myself). I need to learn from your experiences. I am learning. For everything you all have shared here, My most sincere THANK YOU to you.
I am reading your stories. I am learning. I am crying with you. I am laughing with you. I am so happy to find out that there are others!!!!!
So THANK YOU. From my soul to yours. THANK YOU.
Jar of clay