Secret Blossom


By: Secret Blossom
Posted in:
I was so excited when I found out I was probably an empath....and now I find myself doubting. I was never brought up to believe that this stuff is real. So i feel like I ve stuffed my senses so far down that I can't even tell what's what. I keep finding myself thinking...."you just want to feel that energy" or "you are thinking you feel something" or "thats silly, you know this isn't real" or "maybeit is just anxiety" .......ugh.....I ccan't sort anything out in my head. I try to concentrate to see who's feeling what, but its just a bunch of 4 kids for example, i try to hone in on separate emotio s, but i just get a buzz of chaos, but i don't know how to describe it. It's as if im mentally hearing a buzz, but if i dont pay attention its not there. The same thing happens when im out front of the house and all the neighbors are out. I just feel overwhelmed but can't pinpoint any one emotion. I just know i want to get away from everyone so i can calm my mind. Sometimes i feel like im going crazy and i just have social anxiety,and bipolar, and what if im just searching for an excuse for all these mental health labels.... i dont know what to think anymore. I don't get any alone time to even try and meditate...i just don't know
Secret Blossom
07/25/15 07:40:58AM @secret-blossom:
Thank you so much! It probably is just some anxiety. I have been diagnosed as having bipolar years ago, but i can go long periods of time without needing medications. And people who know me would never think I was. When I was younger, I was overwhelmed by emotions, and didnt know where they came from. After realizing that this whole thing could be real, i have no desire to ever take my meds again. I have not taken any in more than a year. It just doesn't feel right. I think i was just afraid of myself.
Secret Blossom
07/25/15 08:29:57AM @secret-blossom:
I do not medicate at all anymore. I usually go outside and take a walk or a bike ride. Being in nature instantly calms me. My bipolar symptoms started at about 12-13 when my dad started to not accept me, just because i wasbecoming a woman and had my own thoughts. Tbis is when wierd things started happening. I felt everything so deeply. I thought i was just being a teenager, but as the years went on, i noticed anxiety at family gatherings and would switch from room to room during them because i was overstimulated. I started sensing my grandpa's presence and he died when i was one.but when i was 17, i sensed my best friends death. I felt strange and off for an hour or 2. When the principal came in and addressed us, i started crying before he told us because i knewthat he had died. I also sensed my grgrandma's death coming and others i worked with in the nursing facility.i feel like my bipolar symptoms were something else and i just couldnt wrap my mind around it
Secret Blossom
07/26/15 06:39:31AM @secret-blossom:
Thank you! I will definitely keep myself health. Please don't blame yourself. Some people just can't accept the help or don't want to. We can't save everybody
Kit Kat
07/28/15 10:24:44PM @kit-kat:

Well I don't know as much as I wish I did about all the different types of empaths, but I think that you're definitely not alone in doubting whatever gifts you have. These times will come, but I think that as you keep learning more about yourself, you'll start to recognize how your empathy works (ours all work differently - I'm sure there are a lot of subcategories within the different "types" of empaths that there are) and then it will hopefully be easier for you to control your abilities.

Oh and that happens to me, too, where when I'm overwhelmed the atmosphere seems like just a buzz of emotions around me. I think this is normal, just that there are a lot of variables to take into account: for example, how situations and emotions change quickly, how our own emotions make a difference, and how a lot happens subconsciously for us.

I hope things get more peaceful for you soon, and that you can find more clarity :)

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