Empathy: You Don't Have to Suffer
All my life I have dealt with the positive and negative aspects of being an empath. My family encouraged it and believed me when I told them what I saw and felt. This made the learning process a little bearable. Along the way, I have learned a few things that I'd like to share. It's my hope and my prayer that at least some of this blog will help someone else.
I have comprised a 4 part series of what I've learned and how to make life as an empath bearable. This may not work for everyone. What I do know for sure is that everyone that I have helped has benefited from from this. Hope you enjoy.
What is Empathy?........It's More:
If I was to ask the question, "What is empathy?", the answer that I would get would be "it's feeling the emotions of others.". Although this is true, it's a lot more than that.
It's a deep level connection with all living things. A way to understand them and bring joy to their lives. A vast warning system against those who want to do you or someone else harm. You are the peacekeeper of emotions.
As many have already found out, many other abilities come with being empathic. Clairvoyance, clairaudience, telepathy, and healing to name a few of the most common. To those with emotions running rapped, these other abilities will cause more stress and anxiety to one's life. Resulting in the person despising their gift and referring to it as a curse. I know there's not much training out there to help one co-exist with their gift, but this site is a good place to start.
Social Suppression and Self Suppression:
We are all born with the empathic ability. It's nothing special given to a chosen few to bring light and love to this cruel and dying world. We all have it. Only difference is, it has been suppressed from a young age. When a child starts showing evidence of this gift, the parents and schools suppress it because being different isn't socially acceptable. Having a working ability makes you different and society is afraid of what they don't understand. You hear statements like "science doesn't support that" or "there's no logic in it" or "you better not let anyone know about this. They'll want to experiment on you"...lol. They will pull the "never make friends" card all in an attempt to make you feel bad for being different resulting in suppression. Yet, there are those like me who are hard-headed and just don't care what others think that remain active and learn. Many don't realize their ability until later on in years. By then, they are struggling with what they have been taught and what has just awakened within them. To be honest, it drives them crazy trying to deal with it. A lot of them turn to drugs and alcohol to suppress the swirl of emotion that they are feeling.
I have a friend that I've known for 20+ years and recently found out that she is empathic and dreams dreams. She smokes pot to suppress her dreams because she can't stand knowing whats to come. Claims it's always bad things that happen.
My late wife was ADHD and had severe anxiety most of her life. After I introduced her to the idea of being empathic, she realized that her anxiety wasn't hers. She experimented with not taking her medication and separating her emotions from those of others and had great success. She never took another anxiety pill all the way up to her death. (THIS IS NOT A DIAGNOSIS AND IN NO WAY AM I ENCOURAGING YOU TO STOP ANY MEDICATION).
These are two examples of self and social suppression.
Can't Be Controlled.....Co-Exist:
You can't control something that you don't fully understand. You can't control something as unpredictable as every emotion coming at you all at once. It's impossible. Therefore, you must co-exist with your empathy. Learn to live and function together to enrich your life as well as others. It's like losing a close loved one. At first your devastated, but over time you learn to live with the loss. I've heard people say that they have gained a small level of control.....no.....you've learned a way to co-exist with a small portion of your ability.
To control something, implies that you are it's master. No one has ever mastered empathy. It changes all the time and takes on different forms and situations. There's not enough years in a lifetime to master them all.
To co-exist with something, implies that you live with it. It's a part of your life. The trick is to find that happy medium where you and empathy work together as one. When one stops struggling, peace can be obtained.
I'll Take That Filtered Please:
Over the years, I have tried shielding and grounding to just cut down on the emotions that flooded my body. Let me tell you, for me, they didn't work. Shielding started cutting it out all together. Suppressing my ability. I definitely didn't want that. Grounding was just non-existent for me. I never could grasp the concept and apply it. But, filtering has been a blessing. Took a while to become comfortable with envisioning myself being surrounded by a reusable coffee filter, but now it's second nature.
The filter concept is to filter the negative emotions from the positive ones. Like coffee grounds and water. There's a flaw to this concept. Everything must be in balance. Even though your filtering, some negative emotion is going to get through, so when this happens don't think that your not doing it right and give up. It's going to happen. The good thing is, is that it's nowhere as intense as without the filter.
Empathy responds well to filtering. It's not suppressed, not running wild, yet comes and goes as needed without struggle. You have to filter continually to make it second nature. After a while, you'll filter without realizing that your doing it. Being filtered allows you to concentrate on who needs your help and keeps your mind calm enough to know how to help.
Part 2 will be ready and posted soon