Scott Yates

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ADHD Overkill

2015-03-23
By: Scott Yates
Posted in:

Oh wow. Where to begin. My children are normally on meds for ADHD. One is ADHD and the other is Servere ADHD. Well, today they had to go without their meds because the doctors office didn't call them in. Nothing could have prepared me for this day. From the time school let out til bedtime, I got it all. I felt what both of my kids felt at the same time. There were times when I thought I was going to literally have a heat attack. I tried filtering, shielding, meditation, and idk what else. The only thing I could do was separate myself from them for a few minutes to release everything I was taking in then face it again. I can honestly say that I've never felt emotions that strong and that wild before in my life. At this point, they are asleep and I am drained. Definitely gotta focus on a defense against ADHD.

Emmy Long
03/24/15 08:11:51AM @emmy-long:
I have a meditation for times like this! I posted it on the meditation group. It focuses on letting in the love and goodness and filtering the rest out.
Scott Yates
03/24/15 08:15:48AM @scott-yates:
I'll definitely check it out. Thank you.
Phyllis
03/24/15 08:44:16AM @phyllis:

I wish I could offer some suggestions? I find the same thing happens with my boys. One has seizures almost daily and I find it very draining. The only thing that helps is to leave the room for a few minutes when things have settled, then I find it calming to sit beside him and cuddle if he needs that. If not, then just being close and giving off loving calm energy helps him and me. I will often try to meditate before falling asleep and that clears out all the day's clutter.


Angel
03/25/15 09:07:22AM @angel:

My daughter is ADHD and it can be quite difficult to handle. I also worked with kids before I had her that has severe ADHD and other behavioral/mental disorders do I kind of got a taste of what it was like. It's hard when they are on meds and then don't have any. Their bodies, physically have a response to it because it is lacking what it normally has. Then there is emotional and mental because the body doesn't have what it is accustomed to, which effects them emotionally and mentally and they have no idea why what they are doing or feeling is even there. You can tell them it's the lack of meds, but they are usually to young to understand thephysiological effect it has. They just know that they are feeling different then what they normally feel and because the symptoms are often high energy, aggression, compulsiveness and unable to focus, it's almost impossible for them to stop. Then there comes irritation,anger or other emotions and maybe even getting in trouble, so they feel bad about doing what they are doing and upsetting those around them, ect. I have no doubt the trying day you had was just as hard on them. I'm not a doctor and anything I say MUST be run by your doctor, but I do know that some stimulants, such as caffeine can often calm ADHD. The problem is that with most things if it has caffeine, it also has sugar and the sugar is what will make it non-effective. But you can look at some homepathic things such as black coffee or diet coke and run it by your doctor to see if it will help in case there are issues that arise like today. I also have 2 boys and one girl and when they were younger, I noticed that boys seem to have alot more energy naturally, so I would take my kids either to the park or swimming. Swimming worked wonders! An hour and a half in the pool or 2 hours at the park, especially one with a big field or grass patch to just run! And these kids ran! hahaha. I'm not saying to make it a daily thing, but in situations like not being able to have their meds, their routines may need to be changed up and keeping them active may help them burn off some of the excess energy, which may help also help them not get into trouble and may help you be able to relax for a few. It seemed to work at the hospital I worked at to, just letting them run around outside for an hour or so and when we came back in, they could usually sit through half a movie or so. It will be rough for everyone involved and if you have a wife or someone else in the family it is easier because on can do something with the kids and the other can take care of cooking dinner, cleaning or whatever needs to be done. They say to keep them on a routine, which I believe but if they are not on their meds that day, routine isn't going to work, so it may be a day to grab some McDonalds, hit the great outdoors and forgo homework that night. Call the teacher the next day and let them know why their homework will be late and when they are back on their meds and back to normal, they will make up the assignments. It also will help you because you are getting that time with them and could turn out to be a great bonding moment with them that is positive. It also doesn't mean they won't act out, but with an outlet for that extra energy, it will decrease the acting out which actually will make it easier on you as well. I would also stay away from mundane outdoor things such as chores, grocery shopping, and maybe public restraunts to eat inside that requires them to sit or stand for long periods of time that will make them bored. Their minds are going a million miles a minute and it's only going to lead to a melt down. My husband also has a drum set that the kids LOVE to bang on. Since my daughter has an anger issue that comes with the disorder, this works wonders to help release excess energy. You can also try a punching bag as an alternative just to let out that energy. The idea is to find ways to help redirect that energy in ways that it's hurtful and destructive.

I wish I had some miracle "cures" for these moments, but it's the "old school" ways that have seemed to work my family. My kids have never been on medication, but I know my daughter needed it yet they said she was to young, so this always worked for me and may work for you as well :)

The last thing is to not take it personally. Not saying you do but many parents with kids with ADHD are really hard on themselves, but in the moment of a meltdown, they feel like the child is doing it intentionally, or when the child say's "I hate you" the parent feels like the child does feel like that and that they have failed. They feel that when they are giving a direction and the child is difiant, they feel that the child's difiance is intentional, when more often then not, they just do it and really don't know why. I learned this when I worked with psych kids and then correctional kids. I learned the differance between most of the kids is that psych kids feel bad for what they do, they feel guilt, shame or whatever, which is a good thing, and it helps the adult realize that alot of the behavior is not intentional. With many correctional kids, they feel no remorse and alot of their actions really are intentional. Realizing this at the moment of difiance or melt downs or even just being really hyper and not listening, it really helps to take a step back and realize that they are not trying to intentionally be like that, so you handle the situation alot calmer, and then you can take a step back and see whether or not there should be a consequence or if maybe they just need your help directing them to channel that energy differently by giving them something specific to do.

The last thing I also learned is this. ADHD is the hardest on the person then any other mental disorder out there and the reason why is because THEY KNOW they are different. They may not be aware of the condition itself, but they know that are "not normal." or like everyone else. This is really hard on them and usually effects their self esteem and causes depression. My daughter lies like nobody's buissness and though she would like to believe it's true, unlike delusions, she knows it's not true and is consciously aware of yet, yet she doesn't know why she does it. Now that she is 14, the good news is that she also see's and understands the consequences of those lies and see's the effect it has in her social circle of friends. Kind of like a curse and blessing. We encourage her to write fictional stories which helps her channel this energy. Where as every other condition, they are so tied up in their own world they don't even realize it they are different or if they do, the symtoms have them so far into a different reality they don't see it or just don't care.

I know this is alot. Again, talk to your doctor about anything new you try or changes, if any you make, but this is my experience and hope that it might help you and their family.


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