Scott Yates

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Okay.  Sorry it's been so long since I've been able to finish this blog series.  Life has a way of distracting you...lol.  Continuing on...

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire:

Let's talk about being a human lie detector......a natural built in polygraph.  I don't fully understand why or how, but empaths have the uncanny ability to sense when they're being lied too.  I know for sure that it has everything to do with the constant psychic connection we have with others.  I believe it goes hand in hand with the ability of intuition.  Ya just know.  Now, exactly how it works within the connection, I really have no idea.  But I'm really glad it does.  This ability has saved me so much money, from getting ripped off in deals, and many other situations.  Definitely not an ability I want to suppress.  Only drawback I have found with this ability is when someone your close to you and love so much lies to you.  It hurts. But ya know the truth and you can call them out on it if you deem necessary, 

Recharge:

Everyone needs a recharge now and again.  No one more than the empath.  There's no right way or wrong way to recharge your batteries.  Whatever brings you a sense of peace and calms your mind will do.  Try to find a place where no one is anywhere around.  Take a country drive if you have too in order to be alone and away from people.  Then plug in and recharge.

Kill Them With Kindness:

I've read so many posts and heard from others concerning narcissists, sociopaths, and the such. How they drain the empath of energy and drives the empath crazy.  Now, how can the empath fight against these types of people?  Simple, kill them with kindness.  If they see that they can't get to you, they'll move on.  Stop giving them your energy.  They live for drama and keeping you on an emotional roller coaster.  STOP!  They won't stop on their own; only you can stop them. Start killing them with kindness and not allowing them to bring drama into your life and stay off that roller coaster.  They'll leave.  You'll be so much better for it.

Part 4 will be here soon.  (Sooner than this one...lol)

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Filtering, Blocking, and Meditation:

In the last blog post, we talked about filtering.  How it filters the negative emotion and allows the positive emotion to reach you.  REMEMBERthere must be balance, so some negative will come through your filter.  Again, don't be discouraged.  You haven't failed.

Now let's talk about blocking.  This is gonna be all too familiar to those of you with children.  You know those times when your so engrossed in a TV show and your kids are screaming, "Mommy, mommy, mommy, I'm hungry, snack,snack, mommy, mommy" and you know they're saying something but you really don't hear them?  Or those of you without kids sitting in a bar and see a sweet little hottie shaking it on the dance floor and ya boys are talking to you and you don't even hear them?  If you've experienced this then you've officially blocked.  Blocking is a very helpful and necessary tool when helping others.  Even though your filtering the overwhelming emotions coming at you, you still need to focus on the one your helping and block out everything around you.  You can't help someone if your distracted.  They begin to think your just being nice and really don't care.  To break it down simple, it's all about individual focus.  Personal attention to the problem and person at hand.

Meditation.  I'm not going through another method of meditation and relaxation,  You can find those all over the net.  Meditation, as everyone knows is a great way to clear your mind and relax your body.  There are many forms of meditation.  You can meditate the traditional way, play music, draw, paint, or pray to name a few.  Whatever puts you in a peaceful state of mind and relaxes your body.  A solid foundation in a religious belief is a wonderful thing to have.  It helps out tremendously in the life of an empath.  

Feeling a Specific Person:

The way that each empath feels out a person is different.  There's no right way or wrong way to feel someone out.  Find what works for you.  For me, I have to see the person; look into their face and open myself up to receive the emotion that their radiating.  A person's emotions can tell you everything you want to know about them and their intentions.  

I remember when me and my late wife were dating.  She lived in a "not so good" apartment complex and everyone wanted to be her friend and hang out at "the new girls" apartment.  When I would stay there on the weekends with her and my kids, I couldn't help but feel out everyone who was around.  On many occasions, I would feel that one or more of those people weren't what they were portraying.  Something felt wrong and deceitful.  Then intuition kicked in and I knew exactly what they were after; what their true intentions were.  I tried to warn her over and over again, but she wasn't buying it.  After a while, their true colors shown and she realized I was right.  I never said "I told you so".  Hundreds of times she apologized over the course of our life together.

Empathic Attractiveness:

Aren't empathic people just so darn attractive.  We must be such beautiful and sexy people because everyone is so attracted to us.  NOT!  Empaths emit a sense of comfort to those we come in contact with; a feeling of being easy to talk to.  People sense that we care.  This is why we attract others.  On the negative side of attraction, we also attract narcisists, sociopaths, and energy vampires.  If you want to get all scientific about it, you can search up the Law of Attraction.  If your like me, there are time that you just want to be left alone; some "me" time.  Empaths get very little of that.  Seems like everyone needs you, so you have to be careful to not let your energy be sucked from you.

The All Day Healer:

Congratulations.....by being an empath, you are also an all day healer.  You are a healer of emotions.  We make people feel better and bring joy back to their lives whether it be through a few words, a smile, or an intense conversation full of advice.  We heal peoples hearts and emotions.  We heal without even knowing or trying to.  It just happens.  It's part of this wonderful package we were born with.  But this healing ability can progress.  If I'm not mistaken, the next step is taking physical pain from people.  We'll cover this later on in my blog segments.  By feeling what the other person is feeling and knowing the emotions from either our own heartaches or others we've helped in the past, we are able to heal someone else's.  By healing someone else, we slowly heal ourselves.  It's a win win situation.

I Know That I Know That I Know:

Intuition.  There's not a whole lot that I can say about this simply because I really don't understand how we do this.  Only thing I know is that it comes with our connection to others.  We just know things....it's a part of the empathy package.

Part 3 will be posted soon

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Empathy: You Don't Have to Suffer


By Scott Yates, 2017-01-09

Introduction:

All my life I have dealt with the positive and negative aspects of being an empath.  My family encouraged it and believed me when I told them what I saw and felt.  This made the learning process a little bearable.  Along the way, I have learned a few things that I'd like to share.  It's my hope and my prayer that at least some of this blog will help someone else.

I have comprised a 4 part series of what I've learned and how to make life as an empath bearable.  This may not work for everyone.  What I do know for sure is that everyone that I have helped has benefited from from this.  Hope you enjoy.

What is Empathy?........It's More:

If I was to ask the question, "What is empathy?", the answer that I would get would be "it's feeling the emotions of others.".  Although this is true, it's a lot more than that.  

It's a deep level connection with all living things.  A way to understand them and bring joy to their lives.  A vast warning system against those who want to do you or someone else harm. You are the peacekeeper of emotions.  

As many have already found out, many other abilities come with being empathic.  Clairvoyance, clairaudience, telepathy, and healing to name a few of the most common.  To those with emotions running rapped, these other abilities will cause more stress and anxiety to one's life. Resulting in the person despising their gift and referring to it as a curse.  I know there's not much training out there to help one co-exist with their gift, but this site is a good place to start.

Social Suppression and Self Suppression:

We are all born with the empathic ability.  It's nothing special given to a chosen few to bring light and love to this cruel and dying world.  We all have it.  Only difference is, it has been suppressed from a young age.  When a child starts showing evidence of this gift, the parents and schools suppress it because being different isn't socially acceptable.  Having a working ability makes you different and society is afraid of what they don't understand.  You hear statements like "science doesn't support that" or  "there's no logic in it" or "you better not let anyone know about this.  They'll want to experiment on you"...lol.  They will pull the "never make friends" card all in an attempt to make you feel bad for being different resulting in suppression.  Yet, there are those like me who are hard-headed and just don't care what others think that remain active and learn. Many don't realize their ability until later on in years.  By then, they are struggling with what they have been taught and what has just awakened within them.  To be honest, it drives them crazy trying to deal with it.  A lot of them turn to drugs and alcohol to suppress the swirl of emotion that they are feeling.

I have a friend that I've known for 20+ years and recently found out that she is empathic and dreams dreams.  She smokes pot to suppress her dreams because she can't stand knowing whats to come.  Claims it's always bad things that happen.

My late wife was ADHD and had severe anxiety most of her life.  After I introduced her to the idea of being empathic, she realized that her anxiety wasn't hers.  She experimented with not taking her medication and separating her emotions from those of others and had great success. She never took another anxiety pill all the way up to her death. (THIS IS NOT A DIAGNOSIS AND IN NO WAY AM I ENCOURAGING YOU TO STOP ANY MEDICATION).

These are two examples of self and social suppression.  

Can't Be Controlled.....Co-Exist:

You can't control something that you don't fully understand.  You can't control something as unpredictable as every emotion coming at you all at once.  It's impossible.  Therefore, you must co-exist with your empathy.  Learn to live and function together to enrich your life as well as others.  It's like losing a close loved one.  At first your devastated, but over time you learn to live with the loss.  I've heard people say that they have gained a small level of control.....no.....you've learned a way to co-exist with a small portion of your ability.  

To control something, implies that you are it's master.  No one has ever mastered empathy.  It changes all the time and takes on different forms and situations.  There's not enough years in a lifetime to master them all.  

To co-exist with something, implies that you live with it.  It's a part of your life.  The trick is to find that happy medium where you and empathy work together as one.  When one stops struggling, peace can be obtained.

I'll Take That Filtered Please:

Over the years, I have tried shielding and grounding to just cut down on the emotions that flooded my body.  Let me tell you, for me, they didn't work.  Shielding started cutting it out all together.  Suppressing my ability.  I definitely didn't want that.  Grounding was just non-existent for me.  I never could grasp the concept and apply it.  But, filtering has been a blessing.  Took a while to become comfortable with envisioning myself being surrounded by a reusable coffee filter, but now it's second nature.  

The filter concept is to filter the negative emotions from the positive ones.  Like coffee grounds and water.  There's a flaw to this concept.  Everything must be in balance.  Even though your filtering, some negative emotion is going to get through, so when this happens don't think that your not doing it right and give up.  It's going to happen.  The good thing is, is that it's nowhere as intense as without the filter.  

Empathy responds well to filtering.  It's not suppressed, not running wild, yet comes and goes as needed without struggle.  You have to filter continually to make it second nature.  After a while, you'll filter without realizing that your doing it.  Being filtered allows you to concentrate on who needs your help and keeps your mind calm enough to know how to help.  

Part 2 will be ready and posted soon

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Some days as an empath


By Scott Yates, 2015-10-03
Most of the time I love being an emath. It gives me a sense of being special and I'm extremely grateful that I am given the ability to help others. Yet, there are those times when I wish I wasn't able to feel others. I think sometimes it gets to be too much to carry. That desire to just be burden free for 1 day and breathe easy overtakes you. Sadly enough, that's not an empaths life. Grounding and shielding helps a lot, but your never truly free. Akwardly enough, I'm okay with that because I love helping people. I love making them smile when they are sad. Giving them advise and watching their lives turn around. The reward for being an empath makes up for the bad days that I have. I think this is why so many in this community doesn't mind to be what they are. Those who hate this great gift, I believe haven't realized exactly what they have.This is just my thoughts and feelings on the matter I guess. Maybe they'll help someone realize something or help them in someway. Thanks for letting me rant.
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ADHD Overkill


By Scott Yates, 2015-03-23

Oh wow. Where to begin. My children are normally on meds for ADHD. One is ADHD and the other is Servere ADHD. Well, today they had to go without their meds because the doctors office didn't call them in. Nothing could have prepared me for this day. From the time school let out til bedtime, I got it all. I felt what both of my kids felt at the same time. There were times when I thought I was going to literally have a heat attack. I tried filtering, shielding, meditation, and idk what else. The only thing I could do was separate myself from them for a few minutes to release everything I was taking in then face it again. I can honestly say that I've never felt emotions that strong and that wild before in my life. At this point, they are asleep and I am drained. Definitely gotta focus on a defense against ADHD.

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Regenerating


By Scott Yates, 2015-03-20

There are time when I get so loaded down with the negativity of situations and peoples emotions that filtering nor shielding will protect me. At this point, I have to regenerate somehow. I need to obtain the most purest of positive energy next to God to push out all the negative. Here's what I do.......

First, I find a quiet place outside where there are all kinds of wildlife and plants and flowers. A place where I can also see the beauty of the sky. I'll take a few deep breaths and take everything in. Second, out of respect, I ask the plants, flowers, tree, sky, and earth if I may have a little of their pure positive emotional energy so I may regenerate. Thirdly, I draw in all the emotional energy around me from nature. Within just a few minutes of drawing in this natural emotional energy, all the negativity that I was carrying around is replace and I feel so alive again. Lastly, I thank them for their help and ask God to place a blessing on nature.

The thing about nature is that they don't require much in the line of thanks. Pass them a blessing, spread some seed, plant a tree, or just visit often. It's all accepted. They can take negative emotional energy and transform it back to positive emotional energy to continue flourishing.

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Feeling Another's Pain


By Scott Yates, 2015-03-18

My 2 year old son and I were at Taco Bell the other day for lunch when this couple sat down to eat across from us. Immediately, I began to feel sadness and afraid. I could tell they weren't my emotions because they felt distant. There was no need to scan the lobby, my eyes fell on the couple when I raised my head. As I gazed on the couple, I felt the woman's fear of her spouse and she was so sad being with him. There was a knowing of her unfaithfulness through text when he was away. From him, I could feel the mental abuse that he gives and how he threatens with physical harm, yet has never followed through with it thus far. He wasn't happy either. As they got up to leave, I got confirmation of my assessment of the couple. He got up to dump their tray while she was talking, stopped, and whirled around towards her. She jumped and coward back like a wife that had been beaten into submission. A sad situation indeed.

Just wanted to share the experience.

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