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Maybe I need some help.....

By RealFaction, 2014-06-11

Well...update....that woman I had the vision about, same one I've been in love with for 5 years, who I've tried to be a good friend to...well....familiar patterns are happening again...:/. By that, I mean, in 2012, she didn't talk to me for months, and well, she isn't really talking much either but I KNOW I told her what I was supposed to, but now my heart is starting to hurt again, but surely I've had this strong connection with her for a reason, right? I had that vision to warn her, I've been there for her....then I sent her that video about abuse...she believed me and everything, texted me, and said THANK YOU.

So, why am I so uneasy? Because of the past, and because of what a friend said last night. I know my manager said things about this woman and she might be right, but last night, someone said, "what if you creeped her out?" and "what if she's just not being honest?" and I'm worried...but how would that be true? I KNOW I have had this strong connection with this woman for years...surely it can't all be for nothing? My heart hurts right now, I'll say that....if anyone has a vision regarding this situation or any advice, let me know. I keep hearing, "wait", and maybe I'm just freaking out and need to relax, but I don't want to get hurt again. I'm trying to keep hope and I'm trying to listen to my heart. If I get screwed for that, I'll never be the same.

With that said, I'm leaving her alone unless she wants to talk to me. I figured if she didn't want me to talk to her she'd be honest, right? But honestly, I really hope I'm not being played, I'm just trying to listen to my heart and pursue it to the fullest, to take that risk I was scared before. But I'm not going to tell her how I feel unless things change for a while. But if she can't see how much I care, and misunderstands me, that's her problem, and it'll hurt me. But I think, "IF that's the case, why would all these things happen? Why the vision? Why this obtained knowledge about her?". Surely it's not a waste of time....I mean I'm just trying to be there for her and all. We used to be close a long time ago.

I'm just a bit upset...if I was forsaken, and if all of this was for nothing (but I don't see why it would be), I will be crying for days, because that would mean I would've been following my heart, for nothing, and I would be devastated. This is why I was afraid of taking the risk, I'll be so hurt if I'm wrong...but the way I see it, I'm just being a caring honest person, the only one in the wrong would be her if that was the case. My manager says she's just scared but who knows...

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If you were abused....

By RealFaction, 2014-06-07

...then you should watch this video I made. I have been listening to the voice lately guiding me and said to make the woman I had a vision about (who i've loved for 5 years old friend of mine) this video because she has been through a lot of abuse in the past and I'm supposed to help her find who she really is.

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Freaky Stuff Lately...

By RealFaction, 2014-06-04

Well this has been a story I've told many times, with a LONG version, so I'll try to shorten this. This is what's been happening lately on top of the vision I had. This is about a woman I've had the strongest connection with I've ever had in my life the past 5 years. We're both Empaths. I recently saw a vision last week of a young woman getting hit in the face by a man in a red hat and shirt (maybe hoody). She was crying, running, terrified. I was driving on the way home and it made it scarier. This was my first vision I've ever had in my waking life. Not only did I see it, I EXPERIENCED everything she did, minus the physical pain (but i felt the blows).

Recently I was guided to 2 empaths and they both told me important things, I was guided to them to help them, but they also had important info for me. I now know more about this woman. This is a woman I used to know, I already knew from the vision, but this is a woman I thought manipulated me, because she didn't talk to me for so long. BUT, I was so terribly wrong. One of the Empaths is similar to her and understands her, and explained she was probably scared and LOVES me. I was shocked. Another day, a few days ago, I was driving home again and tears came out of nowhere, well about to, I didn't cry though, but I felt such sadness! It was her. I knew it. There was a VOICE TELLING ME "HELP HER" over and over again!

I knew I had to message her, and so I did. Said basically, "I know it's weird hearing from me after all this time" and told her the vision. She was happy to hear from me even after i deleted her last year, she wasn't mad at me! All along she was scared to talk to me because she loves me so much, so my friend explained, and what she explained pairs up dead on with how she's been acting, she will deny how she feels my friend said. But the young woman I messaged, said it was her ex, her son's FATHER, who abused her and she said it WAS terrifying. I saw a vision of the future, of him coming back into her life, BUT, now it is possibly prevented because I warned her of the danger :).

I told her I still care about her and want her to be safe. She was very thankful. I believe this to be the woman I've been supposed to be with. I've been in love with her for the past 5 years deep down, and I guess well...she has been in love with me all along :). This is a very strange journey we've had, off and on, talking, not talking. I made her a song, tell me what you think! PS: Don't mention I'm an Empath on any of my music related stuff, my fans don't know. Thank you guys for all your support, I remember there were times I thought I was hearing things, it was her voice crying out to me even years ago and I didn't realize it! She's an Empath too! She didn't know, so I told her about it. I'm teaching her things :).

Before I go and share this song about her, any advice on how I can help her open up? I think though I may be fine as is and know what to do. Here it is! Real Faction is my main artist name, but Lectrix is my side project and the debut album of that comes in Fall, this is an early release. I'll post the youtube version once it's up, I'll be putting lyrics in the video.

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By RealFaction, 2014-05-08

For a while, the past month or less, I haven't been myself. I didn't truly realize why until now. I realize why I'm sad, why I've been so hard on myself when I mess up (which is unusual because usually I'm like "okay i made this mistake, it happens, no biggie").

I feel lonely...abandoned.

It's taken me a while to think on this and find out exactly what's going on with me, but now I understand. For months, I have been lonely in this house, and most of my life, I've been used to being alone, talking to my good online friends, but as of late, I've changed. I feel like I need love, and yet I don't want to be clingy or anything.

I just feel like my friends abandoned me, and that I've been a bother in the past, so for months, I've rarely ever gotten calls from anyone in town, and I've rarely seen them. I try hanging out now but people are busy yet they'll make time for others...right.

I know I have good online friends, but on Facebook, i see my friends' profiles, and they are crowded with their friends in town, and get all the support for their music, but when I dare do the same thing, no one really ever looks at my music or likes my statuses much. I'm beginning to question myself, even though as of late I haven't posted anything depressing for a long time. It just seems like people don't care to contact me anymore, the ones in town. I feel unloved and abandoned.

Also, I feel like after all these years of not caring about being single, I'm starting to feel an empty void in my heart. I feel I need someone to break me, to tell me I'm wrong, because I know what I'm saying probably isn't right, that I shouldn't be hard on myself, but I just am questioning myself after all this. I feel hurt and alone...very alone. I'm glad to have my online friends though, but I just wish my friends here would like me again :(....and they were good friends too...what happened?

Also, any girl I end up falling in love with is either too far away, ends up being dramatic, or ends up being a back stabber. And now if I DO have feelings for someone, I say to myself, "she can do better than me". It's just not normal, and it's not as simple as depression, I went through years of that, I would know. Maybe there's something else beyond what I've realized that I'm not seeing. I don't want to be alone anymore, and now I feel I can't trust them, and I can trust you all more, even though in the past they used to be really close to me as I was to them. This is not good. :(

So my question to you all is, what else could this be? What do I do?
- John

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Emotional Breakdown

By RealFaction, 2014-04-29

I'm not confident in myself right now, nor the flyer idea regarding my discussion post about how to approach this woman I'm deeply connected to, yet have never met. I guess I have been verbally abusing myself, just like my father used to. I am scared. Lately especially today, things have not been well with me. I can honestly say I am in great emotional pain.

Long story short, I've never held a job past 3 months, and I really hope that changes with this job I have, today I had an emotional breakdown because a guy made me angry and cost me deliveries to get tip money. I guess I had a moment of fear, moment of greed, a moment of weakness, because after everything I've been through, I wanted to get every opportunity I could get, I feared something would go wrong. I DID get sent home, but the assistant manager cares about me and talked to me about it, he forgives me. I am so lucky....but even so, it's also the fact I am very alone...very lonely, and it hurts. I still feel bad for today and how I acted.

Sometimes, I wish my friends weren't always busy, that I wasn't always in this house alone, and that I had someone to come home to sometimes or hang out with, someone I can be with in person :(. A lot of my life has been like this off and on. I can do some things alone, and some things, I need someone to help me realize I'm wrong. I talk down to myself too much....I guess that's another reason I'm not so patient about this situation to meet this person, I get the feeling they're very special and could be here for me as well as me being there for them, as I know they're hurt too. That's the kind of relationship I really want to have, teamwork.

I guess I'm at the point where as much as I've done so much alone, I need someone to progress further, to give me strength. I am as strong as I can get on my own, and I am pretty strong, but also sensitive, and some things I can't do alone. I hate this....I hate going through it. I feel so hurt right now. Another thing I'm afraid of is, what if this woman is just like last time I felt this special connection? There was only one other time, and I wondered when I would feel it again. She ended up being a manipulator, a liar, even though she was a blue aura Empath. I was there for her, a good friend. She broke my heart and I thought she was sincere about things, and it's made me scared to love like this ever since.

There's some of the things bothering me, my heart is just a mess right now :(

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Life as a Blue Aura Empath Post #1

By RealFaction, 2014-04-28

I know there's a lot of blogs about being an Empath, but I thought it would be interesting to be more detailed on what it's like living with a certain aura color, because that makes Empaths different from each other. If you read about the aura color meanings, and meet people with different aura colors, you'll know what I mean.

Now mind you, there are times I am sad that I am an Empath, simply because I have a Blue Aura, which according to online research, is one of the most sensitive aura colors, if not THE most sensitive, and sometimes, that is a heavy burden to carry. Now I have Light Blue, but since a month ago, sometimes it changes to a darker blue, and I feel more energy and more sensitive to the point of being so overwhelmed. Now with my future posts, I'm not sure if ALL Blue Aura Empaths experience this, mind you, but this is simply what I experience.

Now, being 22, since a few years ago, there's at least one or two changes I go through every year with my growing development as an Empath. I can see aura colors (not everyone can do this, this may not have to do with your aura color to do this), but only in person. I am VERY sensitive to energy, and can feel that through the internet and cellphones, so I can also read people online. Sometimes, I can see people's memories, and feel their intentions like animals can. I can tell if someone is lying, feel when someone is sad even though they seem happy, etc.

I can work with my own energy and send it into someone else, I can read even pictures as long as there's eye contact, I can sometimes tell you what they were thinking in that picture and how they felt at that moment. I can shield myself, I can use telepathy to speak to you but I am still practicing that, it mainly works best with people I'm close to or other Empaths. I can also see energy in the environment and objects, and I can see trails of energy that connect to me, apparently now.

I have been learning about all this mainly since I was 18, but I've been mainly working with all this for the past 2 to 3 years. My main thing is the fact I can feel energy and emotions to a highly sensitive level, and more as I grow, which scares me. It's been very hard to deal with, but I'm trying better. I feel if I was in a relationship, I would have a better grip on things because lately I've felt like I need love and comfort, support. I'm not needy, but it would definitely help, and besides, I've been wanting to pour my love into someone awesome, as well as receive it. I'm finally ready, but I didn't used to be.

If anything changes or I have an experience regarding any of this, I'll be posting, but hopefully won't be this long next time :P

- John

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