I'm not one for having many possessions.  I don't need new things all the time to make me happy.  I don't need another person to make my life to have meaning but I do get lonely every once in a while.  I was a very lonely child I didn't have very many friends and I was bullied.  I made friends evenutally but I had primary friends in my family and stuffed animals.  As I sit at my computer with a teddy bear in the crook of my arm.  He smells like cotten candy, he's not big and boastful.  I do not regret for having a deep connection with my inner child, I know her better than I know my actual self.  She's always been there and she became one of my friends in childhood.  I like soft and fluffly thing but not pink things. 

I don't require big and fancy things to bring joy.  I take each joy as if it was my first.  I don't want a lover that keeps things hot and heavy in love, I want someone subtle that can just gently take my heart for his own but is willing to give it back.  I've gotten crushes on boastful guys and they do things that make me wish I never liked them.  I grew to enjoy my simple life style of listening to classical and baroque music, to songs that almost never had words to them.  But change came and I got interested in Skillet and other bands (thanks to Evan who was highly influenced by worldly things).  I don't need music, stuffed animals and things like that.  Those are luxuries. 

Like my birthday presents that I get year after year.  And from my latest birthday.  I don't need two new books that costed 20 dollars put together.  I don't need new clothes.  I don't need a journal.  When Evan gave me my presents the day of my birthday I liked the bag better than the present.  I liked the ribbons on the presents better than the presents themselves.  Sounds bad doesn't it?  I know, but it's true.  I told him he didn't have to get me anything, and I really didn't want to go see the Hunger Games.  I wanted a simple day on the town with him.  Not big and important.  I am not a girl that'd be impressed by that. Some girls would love for people to spoil them. Not me.

I pretty much grew up in the shadows. I was never the most important person in the room, I was hardly even seen sometimes. I could stand in plain sight and be unseen. I'm not exaggerating either if you think I am. For years I was never anything interesting, there was always something more important than me. That's how I grew up so when I was just recognized and seen that made me happy. I was a lonely child, company is all I wanted. To have someone to play with. Most often times at school people didn't want anything to do with me so my teddy bears were my friends. And this went on for many years so I grew to not expect much from anyone. I was shy, didn't really open up to anyone that wasn't one of my stuffed animals.

So now I take each day as it comes, learning a new hated for the anniversary of my birth. I never really liked my birthday anyway. And my birthday was in March, and I am glad it is only once a year like March Madness. And one more thing: a sports game is more important then the life and well being of a child? Who came up with that?