You, old friend, I dream't of you once more.
And I've hated at what we've become.
I hate the fact, that I will forever be in love you
because I rather suffer than to let you go.

And you chose not to understand anymore-
like those years ago, the dream you stood in the doorway...waiting
I knew you were going to shut me out. I knew. I just didn't know when.
You judged me because we are young and I chose to have a child.
& I wish you knew that I had commitment. I have tried to love a boy, who is not a man,
and only ended up hurt.

So when I close my eyes, these...past 7 years, I fall into a deep sleep.
I wake up looking at you, stareing as you sleep in the morning sunlight that seeped

through the curtains only to find your perfectly perportioned face still asleep. I find myself being
in love; truly, madly, deeply. And we laugh, and you look at me like you did. I finally get to touch you,
just like we wanted as kids.

Then I wake- My stomach in knots and I forgot to breathe that quickly led into a panic. All day is just the thought..."What if..." untill it drifted, only to be revise months later after another dream.

I always just felt embarassed, and pathetic. But I know, somewhere in a time, you were the one. And I didn't have the power to touch you, to hold and kiss you. I didn't. I just know, and feel that I have to be the one to seek you again when the times comes, like the old stories we talked about.

Even if you are not the one that I feel, I will still feel like I don't dream anymore because I saw you. I was there. I won't have to wake up. So forgive me, old friend.

Some letters are never mean't to be written.