By Mythical Spark, 2017-02-20
Back in December, 2015, I was in a bookstore, one of the major book retailers in the UK, and I was just looking around for nothing in particular and I had some books that I was going to purchase and I was just doing a brief last look at some odds and ends before going to the checkout to purchase the books I had and I was at a rotary of things like games and stuff and I come across a deck of tarot cards.
I was never the one for divination and I'm not much of a believer in them or anything like that but the general idea interests me for some reason, so I thought I'd pick up a deck while there, mostly just for fun. I had used them once or twice on the first couple of days of getting them and gave it no real thought.
Then, this afternoon, I picked them up again, just for a bit of fun I guess. I thought perhaps I could channel some of my own 'energy' or 'essence' or whatever into them as I clasped them in both hands so as they be 'in tune' with me as I used them for information.
The instructions were to draw 4 cards, A; B; C and D. A being what's at hand, B being past influences, C being 'ponder this' and D being what to do.
Anyway, for A I drew XV: The Devil; for B I drew IV of Swords; for C I drew III of Pentacles and for D I drew XVII the Star.
I consulted the book for information on the cards and what they represent/mean and it seemed to make a far amount of sense of what was at hand, or what I had asked in my mind before shuffling and dealing out the cards but I don't want to read too much into it as I understand and know that these things require interpretation and I know that there is probably just as many possible interpretations as there are people.
But then again, I don't wish to seem close minded and I like to be open minded to possibilities that there might be and I guess that there are people who might be more au fait about such things who might be able to actually shed light on such things.
I do not wish to disclose what was at hand or what I had inquired mentally before dealing out the cards as I feel it's a bit of a personal matter, not that it's anything embarrassing or anything against anyone, it's just that I'd rather keep it personal.
By Mythical Spark, 2017-02-11
Sometimes I get the feeling of something deeper inside me that my conscious mind isn't aware of and I am only able to sense fragments and bits and pieces to whatever lies deeper down in the darker recesses of my mind.
Occasionally a flash of an image or a sound or a word or a whole train of thought pops out of somewhere in my deeper subconscious that my conscious mind just will not or cannot latch onto for more than a fleeting moment and without any context or rhyme or reason.
I often ponder what gift, if that is the right word, has been repressed by my own conscious mind and, if so, what reason? Maybe it was out of fear or lack of comprehension, maybe I just wanted to seem 'normal' in the eyes of others and I learned how to repress and hide these things deep down inside me and forgot all about them until I learned about empaths.
Sometimes I wonder what I might have become if I hadn't fallen into the trap of 'normality' and tried to lead a 'normal' life and embraced my natural or true self.
But I also wonder if I'm just crazy and if I'm just repressing some form of madness. I wonder if I am harbouring some empathic abilities or if I'm just getting some fuzz from my own subconscious mind.
By Mythical Spark, 2016-09-27
I guess I should say hello and give a few words about myself and why I'm here.
I guess I should say that just someone who's looking to learn something about themselves, I guess that's why I'm here. I think that I may be an empath or have some empath tendencies. I'm not certain on these things and I'm not totally sure if I believe in it but I like to keep an open mind on different possibilities and I do naturally tend to find rational explanations before I except supernatural/paranormal explanations for things but I have found myself questioning whether or not I may be an empath.
The other week I randomly came across something online about empaths. It was an article about empaths, their traits/characteristics and it made me think about myself and my past a little bit and as I read the list of these traits and characteristics I recognized some of them in myself and the natural tendencies that I have and how they've been a part of me during my lifetime.
There have been a few incidents, some more mundane and some that seemed somewhat out of the ordinary, that I have called back from memory in my life that seems to corroborate my current questionings of being an empath.
One memory was of a time when I used to drink with other people in a local bar and I had put on some music on the jukebox. After a while someone said that I was seemingly able to judge the mood of those who were also in there and put on music that would fit perfectly to the mood of the bar at the time. I think this may have happened a few times.
There have been times when I have been able to gauge general opinion on things, even when I hadn't really spoken to anyone on the topic.
This one's a bit of a bigger thing that happened and might be coincidence. There was a time that I had a really pleasant dream. It happened many years ago and I remember spending time with a beautiful girl. It wasn't anything sexual or anything like that but there was a general feeling of love and it was filled with a really loving air and we were mostly just hanging out and eating and I was lost in the general loving feeling that I felt being with her. I woke up and I was still feeling such great feelings at the time. About a week later I was out and had some places that I needed to go to as I had a couple of appointments that I needed to attend to. As I was walking down the road to one of these appointments I noticed a girl walking up in the other direction. We had caught each others eye as we got closer and we smiled as we walked past each other and I could have sworn that she was the same girl from my dream. I know that I should have said something to her at the time but I guess that I was a bit too shy about it.
I know that it could all be a coincidence or just my mind playing tricks on me and is just my imagination but at the time it was something that struck me as strange and still hangs in my memory.
There were other things during my life but I need to try to remember them and they seemed to happen a lot during my time at school
A few traits that I have that might suggest that I'm an empath:
- I prefer my own company and have been at my happiest in my life when I'm alone.
- I really dislike crowded places and I really like to avoid them when possible.
- I feel sorry for those lower down the 'social chain' and sympathize with those who are downtrodden.
- People have been known, including several strangers, to talk to me about their problems or life and some have said that they feel perfectly comfortable in doing so.
- I feel naturally drawn to supernatural/paranormal things and different spiritualities, even if I don't particularly believe in them I still feel a sense of wonder and curiosity.
- I have a creative side and an imagination. I've always enjoyed things like daydreaming and fantasies, writing, photography. I can't draw or paint at all but I do like the joy of writing and imagining various worlds and stuff. I also like video games such as Simcity and the like and the sandbox modes for freedom to create cities.
- There have been times when I get quite bored and I try to find things to interest me and to keep my mind entertained.
- I really hate liars and lying in general but if it's necessary, like telling a white lie then I guess I can forgive, given the situation.
- I hate any kind of violence or acts of cruelty.
- I really can't stand self-absorbed or people without any kind of self-awareness, or narcissists.
- I'm often aloof and very distant from people, even with those close to me; close in relationship and as in close proximity. I think that I'm naturally a very private person and I naturally keep people at a distance, mentally and often physically.
- I am prone to depression and anxiety, socially and generally. I have found that I am oddly selective about those who I am comfortable around and not socially anxious with. I can't really explain it.
- There have been times that I've had emotions or general feelings that I can't really put any words to other than 'positive', 'neutral' or 'negative'.
These are some of the traits that I currently recognize, maybe there are more but I haven't picked up on them.
A bit more about myself is that I'm not a part of any religion and I've never been Christened or whatever the ritual is for making people a part of each religion is. I was never brought up in any religion and pretty much all my family are non-religious/atheists or agnostics I think but I can't really speak for them as I'm not entirely sure on exactly what each family believes. I'd say that I'm an agnostic myself in the sense of not really knowing if there is a god/deity/higher power or not, or at least I'm not the one for current or past concepts of them and I do think that it's a natural part of the human mind to anthropomorphize things and that shows in people's general concept and idea of gods and higher beings/power and I feel that a lot of religions seem to be very earth- and human-centric but that's just my opinion and I really don't know what any god or higher power might be like and I guess there's an idea on that as there people.
Even though I'm not religious but I do have a strange fascination for them, especially ones outside the normal realms of spirituality and I have done a little reading on other religions and new-age stuff and it generally interests me. I'm not saying that I necessarily believe in any of it. It just fascinates me when hearing about various legends and myths. I don't know why it's just something that interests me generally, maybe it just stirs up my imagination.