Le'

Le'

Family

2009-12-08
By: Le'
Posted in:
OK this is day 3-4 for me... and I'm busy getting ready to drive 300 miles tomorrow to go see my son and his partner.If you have seen my first blog you will know how amazing this is for me.This is a trip I have been putting off for over a year and I have been loading up my car with all the things I promised I would bring him and never could get out of the house to complete.I'm going ... thanks to those first lessons and the suggestions some of you in chat and posts have made to me (like the one about clearing my Chakras.)Am I "cured" of all my problems ... not by a long shot ... LOLBut I found myself looking for a new way to style my hair last night and pondering where to go to get the cut done and a perm.And clearly I'm up and MOVING.I'm interested in seeing if more of my sadness lifts on this trip. This doesn't feel like my sadness so much as sadness, hate, and anger coming from next door. But I will talk about that in a different blog after my trip.My mind is suddenly full of stuff... things to do, places to go, things I WANT... Hard to settle it down to talk about what I really wanted this blog to be about.Focus ... Just a word here about lesson three and my son...As a teen he went to live with my ex husband as he really needed that 'man' influence in his life. But when he was 19 he asked if he could come back and live with me so he could go to Jr. collage. I told him he could live with me rent free and I would buy the food and such as long as he was in school and he could get a part time job to cover his personal expenses ... but there was one rule we had to have in place first.That rule was that we live as room mates rather than mother and son.Why?Because as his mother I had to worry about him. I had to be upset if he didn't make it home in time for dinner, or if he was out really late at night, and I had to pick up after him and do his laundry and such.But as room mates we could live together with respect for his being an adult and free to come and go as any adult does. If he was around when dinner was on I would be happy to share. If I was tossing a load in the washer and he wanted to add a few of his things happy to share.But I wanted to see him as a free and capable adult. (which he was and still is)This allowed us to move on from a dependent Mother/son relationship to one of two adults who could enjoy an adult relationship We have kept that respect for each other in place ever since.For the last 14 years he has been happy and content with a partner who is the most warm and loving person I have ever met. She clearly loves him and he her. The last time I was visiting them I told her to her facethat she was the best thing that had ever happened to him and I really mean that. Of course they have their ups and downs, as we all do, but as far as Im concerned he won the lottery with her.So I doubt on this trip I will need to use the lesson offered in the third lessons survival guide with them ... but when I get back home and feel up to letting some of my friends back in ... I know that lesson will come in handy.I'm just totally amazed at how much better I am feeling in such a short time and it makes me want to do more, learn more, and get even better tomorrow.I am on the right path.

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