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Angel of Vatican

By Lavinia, 2011-02-21


Picture taken during Pope Joan Paul II funeral.


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Who am I meant to be ? ( test)

By Lavinia, 2011-02-18

Many people have two or three strong striving styles, and they can all be important in leading you to the person you are meant to be. If you have a few "highest" scores, read each matching description, and see what rings most true.

Striving to help: 16
Striving to be recognized: 12
Striving to be creative: 19
Striving to be spontaneous: 18
Striving to be knowledgeable: 16
Striving to be secure: 12
Striving to be in control: 19

You scored: 16

You are a nurturer: You are caring and supportive in your personal relationships as well as in your job. Unselfish and altruistic by nature, you often anticipate the needs of those around you before they are aware of them. If there is one thing that brings you satisfaction, it's tending to others.

What to watch out for: When you're doing things for people only to feel valued, you can become resentful. And if you sense that your help is not appreciated, you may end up playing the martyr. So before giving your time to everyone else, make sure to take care of yourself (physically, emotionally, and spiritually). And practice waiting until someone asks for help: While you may be able to perceive what a person needs, that doesn't mean she wants you to attend to it.

Looking ahead: It's important for you to be genuinely of service in acknowledged ways. Whether you foster a child, care for an elderly aunt, rescue animals, or support a rock star's career as her personal assistant, look for opportunities where you can help other people or bigger causes. Volunteer work has your name written on it, as do many careers: nursing, teaching, customer service, healing, social work. Don't feel pressured to run the company or lead the project; you may be even more effective as someone's right hand. And you'll likely find working with other people more meaningful than flying solo.

Find careers that match your striving style.
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You scored: 12

You are an achiever: Ambitious, competitive, and hardworking: That's you. With a clear image of who you are, you work tirelessly to make sure your accomplishments are recognized. Your drive for success extends to your family, and you invest a lot of energy in helping them live up to your expectations. Thanks to your knack for diplomacy and abundant charisma, you often inspire others.

What to watch out for: You are prone to becoming a workaholic, slaving away toward success while neglecting your personal life. Because you're driven to gain approval, you can find yourself performing for others like an actor; if you become overly concerned with your image, you end up feeling superficial. To keep your ambition under control, get involved in group activities that require cooperation. Also practice listening to those around you and think about sharing the spotlight from time to time.

Looking ahead: Any career that allows you to scale the ranks and gain recognition, status, even material rewards, lights you up. Actress, entrepreneur, salesperson, politicianyou get the picture. And consider balancing your professional challenges with personal ones: Run a 10K, train for a triathlon, compete in a tennis tournament, bike from one end of your state to the other; or join a debate team, play in a poker circle, enter your purebred spaniel in a dog show. Whenever you can win at something, you're happy.

Find careers that match your striving style.
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You scored:
You are an artist: You came out of the womb with a paintbrush in your hand. Or maybe it was a flute or a castanet or a fountain pen to go with your poet's imagination. The point is, you're an original, and you know it. Even if you don't have a singular gift, you're drawn to the artsanything creative, for that matterand you have a unique way of looking at the world. Your need for depth and authenticity in relationships can lead to both great joy and profound sorrow, depending on whether others reciprocate. You don't care so much about adapting to group or societal expectations; your independence and sharp intuition propel you on your own path.

What to watch out for: When fear of conformity overrides your creativity, you can assume the role of "outsider" or "orphan" and end up feeling alienated. You may even go so far as refusing to vote or pay taxes. This lone-wolf stance might be a defense against feeling vulnerable. Try to be aware that blaming others for your banishment, or pushing away those who want to get close, only makes things worse. Also, dramatizing your emotions can interfere with your creativity.

Looking ahead: As long as you genuinely express yourself, you feel like the person you were meant to be. How you do it is irrelevant. A chef or architect can be as much of an artist as a painter or sculptor. Many advertising and public relations executives are also highly imaginative. Beyond work, there are opportunities everywhere you look to coax out your inner artist: Design your own jewelry line, create an innovative blog, dream up a comic strip. Relationships are another avenue for self-expression.

Find careers that match your striving style.
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You scored: 18

You are an adventurer: Action-oriented, curious, outgoing, and often technically gifted, you live for new experiences. You are drawn to risk-taking and aren't afraid to fail. Generally restless, you tend to job-hop or choose a field that offers constant novelty. If you had to name your favorite place, it might be the center of attentionyou're a born entertainer, and can easily adapt to any audience. While you collect many acquaintances, you're less likely to develop deep, committed relationships.

What to watch out for: When you can't satisfy your thirst for variety and excitement, you may see yourself as trapped, which can lead to impulsive and self-destructive behaviordrinking, drugs, breaking off relationships, ditching financial responsibilities. Try to find value in some traditions; if you learn to appreciate repetitive experiences, you won't always feel the urge to bust free. And when a new opportunity thrills you, keep in mind that just because it sounds exciting, that doesn't mean it's good for you.

Looking ahead: Life will have meaning for you as long as you feel stimulated. That might mean chasing twisters, exploring the polar ice caps, getting a degree in dance therapy, or becoming an astronaut. It might also mean reading new books, attending workshops, or letting yourself get swept up in an intoxicating romance. As a risk-lover with a lot of energy, you're a natural entrepreneur. You'll be happiest if you change jobs every so often and travel extensively. Movement is what keeps you going.

Find careers that match your striving style.
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You scored: 16

You are an intellectual: As a leader, you're often ahead of your time. As an employee, you try to surpass the competence level of peers, even managers. Incisive and curious, you're driven to deeply understand how things work. But that's things, not people. Oh, your family and friends are important; it's just that you don't need to spend hours engaging with them. Social validation isn't your goalyou're secure enough in your cerebral pursuits.

What to watch out for: When you can't find a way to be the expert, you may withdraw or simply withhold information, which can make you seem smug or arrogant. If you feel yourself retreating into your own world, seek a friend's help to pull you back. Also balance your cerebral tendencies through physical activities like jogging, hiking, or dance.

Looking ahead: You discover who you are meant to be through accumulating insight and knowledge. So follow your curiosity. Are you drawn to learning Mandarin? Join-ing a philosophy society? Studying and practicing Buddhist meditation? Delving into the complexities of computer programming? Writing a historical book? Pursuits that place you near the leading edge of technology, science, psychology, academia, or business are good bets. But any situation that allows you to work independently with freedom to investigate and innovate will fuel your drive.

Find careers that match your striving style.
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You scored: 12

You are a stabilizer: You are the rock in a storm, the one others lean on. Loyal and com-mitted in your relationships, you maintain a support system of like-minded people whom you look out for. (So what if you do it behind the scenes and don't get credit?) You're careful with money, cherish the familiar, and defend the traditions you care about.

What to watch out for: Rapidly changing environments (like a shaky economy) are very hard for you. As a result of such instability, you can spiral into a state where everything seems catastrophic and you're sure life will only get worse. You can also become overcontrolling, rejecting any suggestion that doesn't conform to your idea of the way things should be. To avoid being too rigid, each month try changing one habit. Exper-iment with clothes, drive a different way to work, initiate conversations about subjects you wouldn't normally discuss. And when the opportunity arises to do something new, avoid the impulse to immediately say nothis may be nerve-racking, but the more you practice, the less anxious you'll feel.

Looking ahead: You find meaning in pursuing safety and certainty. Focusing on family can give you great satisfaction. Also consider planting a vegetable garden, hosting class reunions, volunteering as a lifeguard, teaching at your church or temple. In the work arena, look for positions where you're responsible for others, and for making sure everyone is following the rules. You work well in any environment that is stable and consistent. Careers in government, finance, the military, law enforcement, and product manufacturing are strong options for you.

Find careers that match your striving style.
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You scored: 19

You are a leader: You approach everything as though you were born to be in charge. Confident, assertive, and decisive, you know what you want and you go after it. You also look out for family, friends, and communityyou feel you know what's best for themand have no fear of confronting anyone who challenges your ideas. Taking the driver's seat, you also generously donate time and energy to people and neighborhood projects.

What to watch out for: When you feel threatened, or others refuse to go along with your agenda, you can become confrontational and domineering, sometimes to the point of being dictatorial. Practice letting someone else take charge on occasion. Also try meditation; it can help you be-come more aware of your controlling impulses and ease the anxiety that may be provoking them.

Looking ahead: You discover your purpose when you take control of your environment. For you, finding a decision-making role is key. That could mean anything from producing a play to spearheading a global campaign for something you care about. In work, you're suited for leadership positions in education, government, industry, finance, religious institutions, or politics. But you can find satisfaction anytime you're given the autonomy to do things your own way.

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Let the fun begin!!!

By Lavinia, 2011-02-16

"I want to go home" - that's all I could say...that's all I've been saying for the past years.

And every time I got a glimpse of home, every piece of stone that made the pathway to heaven, every feather that found it's way into my heart...were not enough to satisfy the hunger and deep longing for home.

"Don't make me come down there!"- and I did; I made you come, look straight at me and tell me "NO". "It's not your time."

"Only for a little while; just a break and I'll come back"

"You won't. I know you too well. I'll have to push you back and you'll be more miserable than now."

Same dialog, same signs, same answers ...for years.

Until one day when He finally gave in. He showed me everything. From the beginning of time until now. I remember home, I felt the excitement of the first day of creation. I saw how we looked down and jumped around in joy and anticipation of how much fun we will have. How wonderful it will be to have a body, to touch, smell, taste, create and reinvent our world over and over again... I remember 57_blogs.jpg?width=500how we all watched the first souls descend and start building our new "playground". We could only imagine how much fun it's gonna be, how we're gonna love laughing, crying, jumping, spinning, feeling with the sense of touch. I remember all our dreams and all the promises we made to each other. The sense of wonder as we saw our first creations. How proud He was of we promised we would make him proud...the promises we made...

And then I jumped...So fast and hard that I slammed inside and it hurt. I felt it for the first time and it made me dizzy. And then I saw you. For a second I though I entered the wrong world and when I realized I was in the right place with my family I cried my first cry. And that was the first baby cry. Awkward and constraining, I was screaming at you from inside my head but no one could hear my thoughts. I couldn't talk like the rest of you, couldn't reach you to say all that I wanted to. All the pain I felt in all of you; where was the excitement? the love we had for each other? There was nothing but fear, all taken for granted, everything we build was forgotten, destroyed or abandoned. "This was not the world we agreed on building" I kept screaming."What happened to you?" But, of course, no one could hear me. And soon I forgot myself.

Every time I went back home I promised myself I wouldn't forget next time. And every next time I would find myself tangled up in the web of fears we created before. Trying to break it from inside.

But now I remember. It's all very clear. I understand why going home was not an option. I would want to come back here the moment I saw myself there. I love life, I love the Earth and all of you more than anything. I know now why I chose to be the way I am. It was the only way out of the web. And I'm taking as many of you as I can out with me!

Does anyone else remember? happiness and how proud we were much fun we thought we'd have... like Disneyland! We knew there would be "lines", we knew it would be crowded, we knew we'd get dizzy in some of the rides and bored in others, we knew the burgers wouldn't all tasted great...but damn, how much fun would have have!

I'm back in the line at the roller coaster! Anyone wanna join me?

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By Lavinia, 2011-02-05


~ Magical Child ~

by Michael Jackson

Once there was a child and he was free

Deep inside he felt the laughter,
the mirth and glee of nature's glee

He was not troubled by thoughts of hereafter;
beauty, love, was all he'd see.

He knew his power was the power of God;
he was so sure, they considered him odd.

This power of innocence, of compassion, of light
threatened the priests and created a fright;

in endless ways they sought to dismantle
this mysterious force which they could not handle;

in endless ways they tried to destroy,
his simple trust, his boundless joy.

His invincible armor was a shield of bliss;
nothing could touch it, no venom no hiss.

The child remained in a state of grace;
he wasn't confined in time, or place.

In technicolor dreams, he frolicked and played,
while acting his part, in Eternity he stayed.

Soothsayers came and fortunes were told,
some were vehement, others were bold,
in denouncing this child, this perplexing creature
- with the rest of the world he shared no feature.

"Is he real? He is so strange
His unpredictable nature knows no range.
He puzzles us so, is he straight?
What is his destiny? What is his fate?"

And while they whispered and conspired,
through endless rumours to get him tired;
to kill his wonder, trample him near;
burn his courage, fuel his fear;
the child remained just simple, just sincere.

All he wanted was the mountain high,
to colour the clouds, and paint the sky.

Beyond these boundaries; he wanted to fly
in nature's scheme; never to die.

Don't stop this child; he's the father of man,
Don't cross his way, he's part of the plan.

I am that Child, but so are you,
you've just forgotten, just lost the clue.
Inside your heart sits a Seer.

Between his thoughts, he can hear
a melody simple, but wondrously clear;
the music of life, so precious, so dear.

If you could for one moment know,
this spark of creation; this exquisite glow,

you would come and dance with me;
and kindle this fire so we could see,

all the children of the Earth,
weave their magic and give new birth,

to a world of freedom with no pain;
a world of joy; much more sane.

Deep inside,
you know it's true,
just find that child;
it's hiding in You.

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By Lavinia, 2011-02-03
What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?
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Starting engines

By Lavinia, 2011-02-03

Back on the roller-coaster... keep going up slowly...the rise is long....knots forming in my stomach at the though of reaching the top and falling again...This is appearing as the highest climb so far and there's no way of getting off.

Going back down is not an option. But I know you're waiting at the top of the hill to take my hand and join me for the ride.

Just promise me you won't ever let go of my hand!

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By Lavinia, 2011-01-28

Swimming against the current, grasping for air more than seeing where I'm headed ...not knowing if the current is my path or my direction is my step ahead, two steps backwards...all the while asking "what's the point?"...tired and speechless ...

I want to stop on the shore...and just be...

You're my only wish and all I do is just to be near YOU!

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There was once a little girl with Golden Eyes!
She came from a far away place on a cold winter night, to a new cold world of wax still statues; but she came smiling! She couldn't talk, nor see, nor hear... But she had two big snow-white wings and she could FLY!
They didn't like her and couldn't understand her but they felt sorry for the poor creature and let her stay with them.

Day by day, they tough her how to talk and walk, how to dress and how to smile, but all she wanted to do was fly...And their answer was always the same: "Nobody can fly! Don't try! You'll fall! This is crazy!"
And every time she tried they would hold her down and tie her wings behind her back so tight that you could barley see them anymore. Until one day, tired of her prayers, they cut her wings off and put them away in a box.

But at night, when every statue was asleep, she sneaked her wings out of the box and flew home to dance and sing with the angels. And every morning she came back, put the wings back in the box and pretended she never left. She cried when she had to leave home but she did it because she felt sorry for them.

As days and years went by, the little girl grew up and started to become a big cold wax statue herself. Talked like one, dressed like one and acted accordingly. Even her eyes lost color! And they were... so proud of her!
But she wasn't... She'd forgotten the color of her smile, the smell of the rain and she couldn't remember what the rainbow felt like anymore. She wasn't a little girl anymore. She was a big still cold statue now that everyone admired!
It was only at night, every once in a while, that she could still do what she really wanted to...That she could still try to remember where she came from!

But one strange night she went to put on her wings, started to fly but after lifting 2 feet from the ground she fell and couldn't go back up. She wasn't so little anymore and the wings couldn't hold her big heavy weight. She took them off and just stood there, numb, staring at them...
She didn't sleep that night. She stayed in her big room, with her big things, looking at her big reflection in the mirror...while her little wings were lying dead on the floor.
And as the sun was beginning to rise she knew she had to make a choice...

She stripped off all the extra weight that her wings couldn't carry, put it in the box with a "Thank you" note for the nice statues that took care of her and finally left to the place she calls home to join all the other poor but happy creatures that she calls family.

And if you look in the sky at night, close one eye and gaze with the other, you might just see her smiling at you from behind the stars while she's tap-dancing with the moon!
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