By Lavinia, 2011-03-22
I used to think I only attract weak people in my life, needy, broken down, in need of assistance beings who seem to think I can help them in some way. I used to think that until today...when I realized that it's not the weakest that I attract but the strongest. Even they have weaknesses and need breaks once in a while; even they need someone to lean on from time to time, no because they can't do without but because ...it's human.
I saw how others see the ones I used to call weak; they are strong, wise and seem like an indestructible rock ...to others. And for some still unknown reason to me, they let their guard down in front of me and allow themselves to be vulnerable and ask for help or at least a shoulder or an ear.
No, they are not the weak, but the strongest; for it's only the strongest that have the power to admit when they are down and ask for a hand to help them get up again; it's the strong who have the power to be vulnerable.
One example is my dear mother. She's the strongest person I know; she's done and still doing things that I would never see anyone else capable of doing. She has a heart of gold, like and angle and the toughness of a lion. And yet, like any human, she has moments of vulnerability, and when she does allow herself the luxury of being "weak" she chooses to lean on me, of all people. The strongest woman I know! The grandest soul...
I still don't know why it happens... but at least I know now who I really attract in my life!
Beautiful people do not just happen - one has to go through suffering, defeat, loss and then find his way out of the depths.
By Lavinia, 2011-03-13
The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.
These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassions, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.
No, beautiful people do not just happen. They are created. Every day, with every thorn that is stuck in their heart, with every battle that cripples yet another part of their soul, they make a choice. They don't just give in to the pain. They build a crown from every stone and every stick that is thrown at them and wear it as trophy, as a testimony to what they have endured to get to where they are now. And that's what makes them beautiful. It's not the toughness of an iron armor but the softness of the heart who refused to give in to the bitterness.
These beautiful people have such a pure bright light emanating from inside of them that you can spot them miles away. And that light shines the brightest in the darkest of darknesses, when all the others are drowning.
I see so many living dead and in the best cases, dying people every day that when I do spot a beautiful being it almost makes me cry with gratitude and hope that there is still a chance. I can see God in their eyes just as I can see it in children who have not yet had the encounter with the "real " world. And they are rare and hard to stop sometimes.That makes them all the more precious and valuable.
They're the light of the world!
So thank you! Thank you to all the beautiful people out there who have fought their way out of the darkness and who sprinkle our lives with little yet so precious rays of joy and hope!
By Lavinia, 2011-03-09
...and I don't know weather to laugh or get mad. It was the most ridiculous "dumping" I ever experienced.
One of my "job friends" - in translation : the kind of friends who think they're friends but it's only a one way street where you give and they receive, you listen and they talk, etc; an empath job type of friendship - she called for the second time today, as she does every day, to tell me the same story about the same guy who she's been having problems with. I listened for about 30..as I do every time...gave her my opinion which she asks for every time...and as I'm a very honest and straight forward person, I told her exactly what I think and not necessarily what she wants to hear, the same opinion and advice I've been giving her for the past year since this has been going on.
And this time, she did something she rarely does, she asked about me. So I told her...for about 2 minutes or so...and as she always does when I talk about my problems she interrupts me to tell me something about HER. This time it was how her mom got a new phone contract that they didn;t need and then she said "Ok, go ahead..what were you saying?".
At which point I did what I always do...told her I'm done. There no need to go past the 2 minutes cause I know I'm just talking to the walls..her attention is only on her... and if I talk about me I talk to be listened to, not just for love of my own voice. So I said I'm going to back to my movie, talk to you later. I was ironic about it, I admit, but then again that's me..my defense mechanism I guess when I'm pissed off.
She started screaming about how I'm not her friend, that I make her feel guilty for not listening to me and so she also feel guilty that I DO listen to HER, and that she can't be my friend anymore. At that point I just had enough. This has been going on for a few years; I take full responsibility for being there, I am very well aware that this is just a "job", not a friendship but she seems to think otherwise. She also said that I'm not a real friend if I tell her that I mind when she's not listening to me, that she doesn't force me to listen to her and she doesn't need my advice. Which is soooo not true...but that's an even longer story; made short she calls at least 2 times a day, doesn;t care if I can't talk to listen at that time and If I tell her I have to go NOW she gets upset, she ALWAYS asks for advice and she always expects me to solve her problems.
I don't know whether to find it funny that some people can be so self centered to the point of stupidity or to be mad because my help is not only not appreciated but mocked. I think I'll stick with funny. Much healthier!
And honestly, even if it sounds mean, I feel relieved.
I know she'll come back asking for help..she's done this before...she just never got to hear my side of it. I'm glad I got to say it this time.
I hope to have the strength next time she comes back to either say NO or set some "ground rules" cause she's been such an emotional drain for me in the past years.
Venting ..I know..but I feel so much better for getting it out! :D
By Lavinia, 2011-03-06
By Lavinia, 2011-03-06
The World card pictures a dancer in a Yoni (sometimes made of laurel leaves). The Yoni symbolizes the great Mother, the cervix through which everything is born, and also the doorway to the next life after death. It is indicative of a complete circle. Everything is finally coming together, successfully and at last. You will get that Ph.D. you've been working for years to complete, graduate at long last, marry after a long engagement, or finish that huge project. This card is not for little ends, but for big ones, important ones, ones that come with well earned cheers and acknowledgements. Your hard work, knowledge, wisdom, patience, etc, will absolutely pay-off; you've done everything right.
By Lavinia, 2011-03-04
Invisible, dispensable, run down
"Alone..lonely..no one there"
Theme song of the living dead
And yet I'm still there
In the hands of ghosts
They rise and move on
Then another comes along
Same story... Start over
The more I drag you out
the more I sink in
Push and pull
Shoot and kill
"Just playin' "
The deeper I go
the harder I'm tangled in your web
shouting to deaf ears
You find it funny
I find it ironic
I hear you cry and you don't know
how much I envy you.
I can't feel anything anymore
And yet I appear bright and shinny
While I'm painting in rainbows
The walls of my grave
I'm spinning the same wheels
Going round and round
For every grasp of air
Two more nails and 3 feet deeper
This child has seen
too much to go back
The wings are off
The smiles frozen
My dead don't ressurect
Like in your story
But God bless the colors of the rainbow
They make the world seem so much more
By Lavinia, 2011-02-24
By Lavinia, 2011-02-23
Enneagram Type 2 - The Helper
Helpers who need to be needed
People of this personality type essentially feel that they are worthy insofar as they are helpful to others. Love is their highest ideal. Selflessness is their duty. Giving to others is their reason for being. Involved, socially aware, usually extroverted, Twos are the type of people who remember everyone's birthday and who go the extra mile to help out a co-worker, spouse or friend in need.
Twos are warm, emotional people who care a great deal about their personal relationships, devote an enormous amount of energy to them, and who expect to be appreciated for their efforts. They are practical people who thrive in the helping professions and who know how to make a home comfortable and inviting. Helping others makes Twos feel good about themselves; being needed makes them feel important; being selfless, makes Twos feel virtuous. Much of a Two's self-image revolves around these issues, and any threat to that self-image is scarcely tolerated. Twos are thoroughly convinced of their selflessness, and it is true that they are frequently genuinely helpful and concerned about others. It is equally true, however, that Twos require appreciation; they need to be needed. Their love is not entirely without ulterior motive.
Twos often develop a sense of entitlement when it comes to the people closest to them. Because they have extended themselves for others, they begin to feel that gratitude is owed to them. They can become intrusive and demanding if their often unacknowledged emotional needs go unmet. They can be bossy and manipulative, feeling entirely justified in being so, because they "have earned the right" and their intentions are good. The darkest side of the type Two fixation appears when the Two begins to feel that they will never receive the love they deserve for all of their efforts. Under such circumstances, they can become hysterical, irrational and even abusive.
Because Twos are generally helping others meet their needs, they can forget to take care of their own. This can lead to physical burnout, emotional exhaustion and emotional volatility. Twos need to learn that they can only be of true service to others if they are healthy, balanced and centered in themselves.
Twos can mistype themselves if they are not in an obvious helper role in their professional lives; they might not recognize the extent of their involvement in assisting others. This is especially true for male Twos, who have not received the same social rewards for helping as female Twos receive. Male Twos frequently mistype as Ones or Threes, the wings of type Two. Females, of all types, are bound to recognize some of the dynamics of type Two in their personalities, as such qualities have been socially reinforced. Female Nines, for instance, are especially prone to mistyping as Twos, particularly if they are the mothers of small children. But Nines are self-effacing and humble; Twos are proud and have a strong sense of their own worth.
- Root (1) chakra for grounding and stability to deal with one's own needs
- Crown (7) chakra to develop wisdom and self-awareness
Acupressure on points
- ST-36 for grounding and stability to deal with one's own needs
- P-7 (reduce) to heal effects of too much emotion on the body
The Two's own needs
Strengthening the Root chakra provides Twos with the sense of stability they need to attend to their own needs, instead of focusing their energy on catering to the needs of others. Twos can also work with ST-36, either instead of, or in addition to working with the Root chakra, as it also helps to provide a sense of stability.
Twos are emotional people and are sometimes too emotional. Unrestrained emotionality can result in a kind of nervousness that can be treated by doing acupressure on point P-7. (This point needs to be reduced, which is an uncommon acupressure technique.)
Thinking instead of emotion
Twos look outward for a sense of meaning and purpose in their lives. With their focus on emotion and their emphasis on relationships, they often overlook the importance of introspection, and they frequently fail to develop wisdom and self-knowledge. Working to open the Crown chakra can help Twos develop insight and self-awareness.
Acupressure Points for Enneagram type 2
Acupressure points for emotional well-being, recommended for Enneagram type 2. Their location, photograph, use and warnings are listed.
Name: Great Mount (Pericardium 7)
Location: On the middle of the palm-side of the wrist, in the depression between the two tendons, on or just below the crease of the wrist.
Use: Reduce, so move your finger in counterclockwise direction over this point.
Warning: Don't use when weak or low on energy.
Effects: Heals effects on the body of too much joy or emotion.
Also diminishes nervousness.
(click for animation)
Name: Leg Three Miles (Stomach 36)
Location: On the front of the leg, one hand width (four fingers) below the kneecap, on the outside, in the depression between the shinbone and the leg muscle. What can go wrong is that you may be locating it somewhat too low on the leg. The point is immediately one hand breadth below the kneecap, so if you'd use something thick, like a finger, you might get half a finger breadth to low. It's at the outside of the bone that's on the front of the lower leg, one finger breadth from the crest of that bone.
Use: Press. A fingernail or thumbnail is particularly suited for this point, as you will be able to press more closely to the bone and on a broad range.
Warning: Using this point to go beyond your limits (e.g. overwork) will damage your health even further.
Effects: Increases stamina and energy. Provides stability and grounding. Heals effects on the body of too much worrying and thinking.
People of the sexual variant are very much interested in one to one contacts. They are looking for intimacy and this may show in sexuality, though not necessarily. Being in a relationship is very important to them. They are the most passionate of the subtypes, being temperamental and having more energy. They have less of a problem with getting into a fight and care less about rules and responsibility.http://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test.php