I just got dumped..

By: Lavinia
Posted in:

...and I don't know weather to laugh or get mad. It was the most ridiculous "dumping" I ever experienced.

One of my "job friends" - in translation : the kind of friends who think they're friends but it's only a one way street where you give and they receive, you listen and they talk, etc; an empath job type of friendship - she called for the second time today, as she does every day, to tell me the same story about the same guy who she's been having problems with. I listened for about I do every time...gave her my opinion which she asks for every time...and as I'm a very honest and straight forward person, I told her exactly what I think and not necessarily what she wants to hear, the same opinion and advice I've been giving her for the past year since this has been going on.

And this time, she did something she rarely does, she asked about me. So I told her...for about 2 minutes or so...and as she always does when I talk about my problems she interrupts me to tell me something about HER. This time it was how her mom got a new phone contract that they didn;t need and then she said "Ok, go ahead..what were you saying?".

At which point I did what I always do...told her I'm done. There no need to go past the 2 minutes cause I know I'm just talking to the walls..her attention is only on her... and if I talk about me I talk to be listened to, not just for love of my own voice. So I said I'm going to back to my movie, talk to you later. I was ironic about it, I admit, but then again that's defense mechanism I guess when I'm pissed off.

She started screaming about how I'm not her friend, that I make her feel guilty for not listening to me and so she also feel guilty that I DO listen to HER, and that she can't be my friend anymore. At that point I just had enough. This has been going on for a few years; I take full responsibility for being there, I am very well aware that this is just a "job", not a friendship but she seems to think otherwise. She also said that I'm not a real friend if I tell her that I mind when she's not listening to me, that she doesn't force me to listen to her and she doesn't need my advice. Which is soooo not true...but that's an even longer story; made short she calls at least 2 times a day, doesn;t care if I can't talk to listen at that time and If I tell her I have to go NOW she gets upset, she ALWAYS asks for advice and she always expects me to solve her problems.

I don't know whether to find it funny that some people can be so self centered to the point of stupidity or to be mad because my help is not only not appreciated but mocked. I think I'll stick with funny. Much healthier!

And honestly, even if it sounds mean, I feel relieved.

I know she'll come back asking for help..she's done this before...she just never got to hear my side of it. I'm glad I got to say it this time.

I hope to have the strength next time she comes back to either say NO or set some "ground rules" cause she's been such an emotional drain for me in the past years.

Venting ..I know..but I feel so much better for getting it out! :D

03/09/11 12:34:46PM @lavinia:

@ Sandy - Thank you, you are so sweet. I do realize she's not a friend but a "job" and i think I will think I will say no next time cause I've had enough this time.

@ Sleepy - yes I do have a job already and it pays too :))

03/10/11 02:02:37AM @lavinia:
I wrote her a very honest and long e-mail last night after she bombarded me with more texts accusing me of not being a friend. And the response i got is so cruel...apparently i'm a bitch of the century, pardon my french... I don't even know what to say to that...
03/10/11 02:03:21AM @lavinia:
@ Sandy - Thank you so much :D
03/10/11 02:06:55AM @lavinia:

@ Karina - Thank you and yes you're right...she must not realize what effect her words have...cause I cant imagine someone being like this in their heart. After I wrote her an e-mail last night explaining everything in the nicest way possible and even telling her that she's a good person, strong and she doesn;t need me to solve her problems cause she is strong and smart enough to do it on her own...she called me some really nasty things...

Damn if you do, damn if you don;t...

03/10/11 02:09:52AM @lavinia:

@ Fawn - Yes it is a blessing and I don't intend to talk to her anywhere in the near future, after what she said. I am so done with her. She managed o get my angry finally today...but it won;t last long.

Thank you so much Fawn! :)

03/10/11 02:10:43AM @lavinia:
@ Marla- yes Marla, released from duty in the front line :)) Free as a bird :P Hug back!
03/10/11 02:23:43AM @lavinia:

@ Wakahisa - That doesn't sound like much of a friend to me. I hate it when people do that..get upset and stop talking, being mean and not even giving you a reason. I think you're better off.

Thanks for your reply !

03/10/11 02:28:13AM @lavinia:

@ Liz - You're right about all you said. She should feel guilty but somehow I doubt it will happen anytime soon. She's too self centered to feel anything like that. I'm just glad I got away. And I honestly don't think I will let her in again. Not unless she changes which is not happening anytime soon.

Thanks again and I WILL love myself more form now on! :D

03/10/11 11:40:22AM @lavinia:
That's funny Rook, i was just thinking about that earlier. i think I will do that next time she contacts me :))