Lavinia

Let the fun begin!!!

2011-02-16
By: Lavinia
Posted in:

"I want to go home" - that's all I could say...that's all I've been saying for the past years.

And every time I got a glimpse of home, every piece of stone that made the pathway to heaven, every feather that found it's way into my heart...were not enough to satisfy the hunger and deep longing for home.

"Don't make me come down there!"- and I did; I made you come, look straight at me and tell me "NO". "It's not your time."

"Only for a little while; just a break and I'll come back"

"You won't. I know you too well. I'll have to push you back and you'll be more miserable than now."

Same dialog, same signs, same answers ...for years.

Until one day when He finally gave in. He showed me everything. From the beginning of time until now. I remember home, I felt the excitement of the first day of creation. I saw how we looked down and jumped around in joy and anticipation of how much fun we will have. How wonderful it will be to have a body, to touch, smell, taste, create and reinvent our world over and over again... I remember 57_blogs.jpg?width=500how we all watched the first souls descend and start building our new "playground". We could only imagine how much fun it's gonna be, how we're gonna love laughing, crying, jumping, spinning, feeling with the sense of touch. I remember all our dreams and all the promises we made to each other. The sense of wonder as we saw our first creations. How proud He was of us...how we promised we would make him proud...the promises we made...

And then I jumped...So fast and hard that I slammed inside and it hurt. I felt it for the first time and it made me dizzy. And then I saw you. For a second I though I entered the wrong world and when I realized I was in the right place with my family I cried my first cry. And that was the first baby cry. Awkward and constraining, I was screaming at you from inside my head but no one could hear my thoughts. I couldn't talk like the rest of you, couldn't reach you to say all that I wanted to. All the pain I felt in all of you; where was the excitement? the love we had for each other? There was nothing but fear, all taken for granted, everything we build was forgotten, destroyed or abandoned. "This was not the world we agreed on building" I kept screaming."What happened to you?" But, of course, no one could hear me. And soon I forgot myself.

Every time I went back home I promised myself I wouldn't forget next time. And every next time I would find myself tangled up in the web of fears we created before. Trying to break it from inside.

But now I remember. It's all very clear. I understand why going home was not an option. I would want to come back here the moment I saw myself there. I love life, I love the Earth and all of you more than anything. I know now why I chose to be the way I am. It was the only way out of the web. And I'm taking as many of you as I can out with me!

Does anyone else remember? Flying...joy...the happiness and how proud we were ...how much fun we thought we'd have... like Disneyland! We knew there would be "lines", we knew it would be crowded, we knew we'd get dizzy in some of the rides and bored in others, we knew the burgers wouldn't all tasted great...but damn, how much fun would have have!

I'm back in the line at the roller coaster! Anyone wanna join me?

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