The Thoughts Of A Girl That Should Be Doing Homework
So yeah I should be doing homework but my mind itself is elsewhere, more in the area of thinking about the insigificance of relationships with people. In my own opinion relationships with human creatures are utterly pointless and right now I want to figure out who I am first. I am kind of in self preservation stage right because I have been double crossed in more than one time in my life, it's not fun as most people know. And the people who always did it just happened to be the people I trusted more than everyone else I know at that time in my life. Now that really sucks.
Though it really truly doesn't bother me because I am just about to end my final year in highschool and I am planning on going up and out. Turning my back on all the people who ever hurt me and creating my own better world. Now if only I could find a song on this planet that can truly convey my stern dislike for people that have taught me what not to be like. All the bullies that always wanted me to be deaf so I couldn't hear them. The friend that yelled at me for having a speech problem and made me want to be mute. She's just a ball of fun and when she verbally abused me because I didn't give her all my attention when I got my first boyfriend.
I know that the world out there is big and scary and not always kind but I don't care. My uncle got divorced 3 or 4 years ago and his daughters still haven't forgiven him and his middle daughter is graduating and he is forbidden to come. So guess what I'm doin'? I am inviting him to my commencements and graduation party. Why? Because he's my uncle and he may smell like cigerette smoke and beer but I don't care. Besides I don't know if my godmother is able to come and I want someone from my mother's side of my family to come. I don't get to see that side of my family very much.
What I don't get though, and I have said this many times already is that why do people constantly go against with one another? I have this friend that is having trouble with a friend that is pretending to be her best friend and yet is talking shit about her behind her back. I just did my normal thing of being silent and just listening because that's what I do and also my ex-best friend's girlfriend was sitting at the table. I don't talkaround her because she has this habit that I am not too fond of.
Anyway, my senior class trip was eariler last week and we went to New York City. On the way home I was being unusually chatty and some of the girls in my class asked me who I liked but apparently they didn't even need to ask since they all could guess it (wow). We were talking and I was telling them all this stuff, then a certain question came up. "How do you feel about Evan and Teresa?" My ex-best friend that only became my ex-best friend because he started dating her. I got out that I was supportive of the relationship before one of the others realized that the girl who was dating the boy we were talking about was right next to me.
Talk about awkward, we stopped at a rest stop and I got off for the sake of getting off and wanting to avoid Teresa, whom I had been nice to since she and Evan started dating and not just because that she was Evan's girlfriend. I am usually nice to people who replace me, well...this is the first that actually I come into contact with every day. The night before we left we got back to the hotel rather late in comparision to the other nights. Teresa wasn't feeling well so she just went to bed after brushing her teeth. I called my mother and talked to her on speaker phone because I hate holding phones up to my ear to talk to someone. Teresa told me that I could shower, so I showered and by the time I got out Teresa was asleep, so I took my ipod and listened to a song called Stay by Sugarland. I shed tears that needed to be shed and I felt better. Especially how for 2 hours Teresa was talking on the phone with someone noisy and disruptive, I was trying to work on my sonnets which requires some form of peace and quiet, and inspiration.
That was not happening as Miss Chatty Patty kept going on and on with her little phone call buddy so I blasted Supermassive Black Hole on my ipod so if I was going to blow my brains out at least Teresa and her little buddy weren't going to notice because they were just chatting away having a grand old time. I was so tempted to tell Teresa to be quiet or take her phone call into the bathroom because I was trying to work. She was not helping me. I never told her that and I never really figured out when the conversation ended because the magic of Supermassive Black Hole is that you can't hear anything at all.