I Believe I Have Had An Epiphany...
I was inspired by watching Legend of Korra Season 2, so I started drawing and out came a girl I hadn't seen in a while. She was a fan character I made for a forum years ago, but she had died in the forum and was my first character to die (ever). Her name was Neva, meaning snow, and she was born in the Southern water tribe before Avatar Korra was discovered; she had a brother named Bolin (whom in my defense was named before I believe the series even really came out...yes because it was several months later when I was late going to my friends house to do a project because I was watching the first episode of Legend of Korra) who was engaged to Primrose. She was a water bender, but she was terrified of air benders because when she was very young her parents went out fishing but their ship was either lost at sea or it was sunken by a secret tribe of air benders that sent the storm that sunk them (yeah, I know, but it turns out they just got severally turned around and were stranded somewhere and then they headed to the nearest pole which was the North, so they are just lost in the Northern Water Tribe).
She met an air bender, screamed and ran away. They get to talking and she develops a crush on said air bender (I can not remember his name...), she gets injured while trying to run away and she landed on a very sharp fishing knife usually used in the gutting of fish. So she got a large puncture wound in her abdomen, she bleeds out and dies.
Pretty gruesome way to go...and she was only 14. But I convinced the forum leader to let me have Neva's spirit come back just for a little bit to take care of some "unfinished business" with her air bender friend. She told him that her death was not his fault (because he was kneeling right next to her as she was bleeding out) and that she will always care for him.
Anyway, I realized something. My little sister was 9 minutes late for one of her marching band practices, so as customary she received a lap for each minute she was late (9). But my little sister was crying her eyes out because she didn't want laps, she has asthma, and I yelled at her that crying about it was useless. She was getting the laps if she wanted them or not; there was no use in crying over something that can't be helped.
So that got me thinking, realizing that I had been crying over things that couldn't be helped:
1. My aunt got a divorce; she was unhappy in her marriage and once that became public news everyone turned their backs on her. That made me very sad, she has a right to be happy; she shouldn't be scrutinized.
2. My dog of 13 years died last September. He was old, sick and a girl's best friend. George and me got along from the beginning (except I didn't exactly trust him at the beginning ^^; ).
3. 2 years ago I lost a very good friend to the evils of selfishness and bullying. He could have been there for me but he chose his path. I chose mine. If he wants to go looking for "The One", a perfect person in every way that will make his life so much easier, that's fine by me but I refuse to be a part of his fall back plan and I refuse to sing him Soft Kitty whenever he feels ill or gets his heart broken. I only existed when it was convenient, but not anymore.
4. My best friend decided to leave high school and pursue a GED online after all our friends from high school decided she wasn't good enough for them. I had a problem with it when they started putting her down in front of me, but I understand and encourage her decision because if that makes her happy than she should have my support.
5. My great-grandmother died just before I started high school, so I got to be a little anti-social only to have my best friend at the time claim she wanted to commit suicide because I stopped talking to her (can you see why we stopped hanging out?).
I re-imagined Neva as a survivor, she had lost her right arm but she is still the same little girl I see hiding in ice tunnels to get away from the world a little bit, yet independent all the same.