By karma, 2016-07-29
I decided I needed to write a few thoughts down and if anyone comes by to read and comment it will be a bonus - Its more a case of sharing thoughts than wanting advice - But, feel free to give your two pence worth
I work in a busy food court of which it situated within a shopping centre. Its a private company that serves freshly cooked to order produce...
This as a job is pretty basic in skill - It totally goes against my ethics of `serving others` especially with the corporate customer service that is pretty much laying down your life to please extremely rude and impatient people - And even `that` is not enough at times
One of the most ludicrous gripe with people in general is having to pay extra for sauce - it is considered an extra so priced at 25p for a made up pot.
I have been sniped at several times, argued with, angrily demanded at for a justification, even threatened as to not wanting the meal if the sauce does not come free...
Another crazy matter is the lack of queue system... In a busy food court each food outlet kiosk is connected to the next, the ledge approximately 15ft long - People with trays have obviously been served and are stood at the ledge/counter awaiting their meal.... but, people still queue behind them regardless of the till and me being the other end and quite visibly serving and handing out trays.
This (when realized they wont be served because they are not in the queue) often results in angry and aggressive customers attacking me (regardless of my being busy focusing on who I am serving and them being behind others so very often unseen) The most common outburst is that I should sort it out if I want custom etc.... (Its not my company and personally I dont want their custom, not the rude ones at least)
The other day a lady ordered an item off the menu, it comes either on its own or as a meal - if on its own is provided a free sauce - I served, asked if she wanted the meal or cone, she wanted the meal - when no free sauce was provided she got very angry and demanded why no sauce.... I explained the sauce (as written on a big TV screen above) only comes when bought as a cone - She stated I should have explained this all to her (regardless of it being written above and my asking if she wanted the meal or cone)
I could not help myself and within all her angry ranting I let out a laugh and said (and in fairness in a very calm and polite manner), `But its not the end of the world is it` This was met with an aggressive accusation my customer service skills were awful, I wasnt doing my job properly.......
I looked at the rest of the queue and said ` I think my customer service is pretty good` - A few giggled, another stated, `Cant please everyone`..... So I knew it truly wasnt me being crap
I just think if I was like last year (anxiety riddled) I would not be able to do the simplest of jobs - I would have (on many occasions) ended up in tears or been unable to verbalise myself even when in the right. I would have probably lost my job.
It just goes to show the customer service rule of the customer is always right and a happy customer is all that matters is wrong.... besides these people are not happy with the service ever, the food takes too long to cook (regardless of a fresh to order sign) the longest meal will take 7 minutes - If we pre cook and leave in the hot hold its always angrily dismissed because the fresh to order is what is wanted. We truly cant win.
Many customers are indeed nice, I know a few regulars and they are friendly and chatty, but I kid you not a larger percentage of people are rude, impatient and aggressive and at times make it personal, even my `customer service smile` has been nastily commented on (`What you smiling for? it wont make me spend more)
Ive been told I am a f~~king rip off (over the sauces), People come right up to the till, I ask what they would like, I get glared at and angrily told `I am just looking` then they walk away muttering I was too in their face or stating loudly and rudely `I aint waiting for something to be cooked`....
As an empath I have had to do positive affirmations daily, it works 90% of the time - I have however told two people off for their rudeness in the last couple of months. One man for having had to wait ten minutes (3 mins longer than the allocated 7) he had taken the drinks back to his family sitting in the court and with that took his receipt therefore I could not conclude his order..... I was attacked for not explaining this then told in a very heated manner how hungry he was (effing hungry) , hed been out all day etc.... I wanted to ask how it was my fault but, instead expressed 10 minutes awaiting food was nothing compared to the starving In Africa (yes I know not a good thing to say but, its damn true! and I felt very angry so do believe I was picking up on him empathically so in effect it was his rage being returned)
A colleague was verbally attacked for a fish being the wrong shape), a demand for a fresh one and an angry stressed attitude having to await that fresh one - This person incidently reviewed us on trip advisor stating my colleague was rude and begruding in response to this womans complaint - I was there and my colleague was `too apologetic` I even said to her dont apologise for the shape of a fish -
The woman was so stressed yet knew there was nothing to really complain about so resorted to lying to justify her stressed self - I honestly cannot believe how people behave and treat others over the silliest of things
I could have probably expressed this all better but, have to get ready for work lol..... I just wanted to vent somewhere at least
By karma, 2015-11-04
I am feeling lost here because as yet I have found nothing to suggest a similar experience to my own. I have only recently become aware that I have literally been somebody else emotionally for a year.
So easy to determine me someone with a disorder as my mood swings have been erratic from confused, agitated, stressed, angry, all negative traits you can think of.... However now removed from a situation (working with a lad with learning disabilities who, although able to talk has no real ability to express feelings other than in behavioural outbursts) I am now beginning to wind down and think more clearly, am not with any otherwise irrational mood swings either.
I have worked with this lad for two years, the first was great but, his behaviours at home caused a move to residential in which everything changed for him and myself, our time together increased.
I initially began to get twinges of anxiety in which I just thought were down to having to cope with the stress of his behaviours... These twinges became more frequent and my brain truly began to fog, my emotional state was varied, my personality becoming more negative and I have believed I have been suffering a bit of a breakdown
Now though, taking myself away from the situation, I see, I was only ever agitated when he was, stressed when he was and the brain fog was just daily being in his presence... The more I analyse the last year the more clear and direct it all is. I was undoubtedly absorbing the emotions and feelings of this lad.
A good example would be, He would be asked to do something, I would be glared at and out of nowhere I would feel very agitated (I would walk away feeling disgusted with myself for the surge of agitation) another example, he would be told something he wanted couldnt happen, I would feel stressed and foggy, low and anxious... I also became very anxious around people.
At the end of each day rather than the feelings dispersing, I would be drained and feel very low as if all my energy had been used up. My self confidence has been quashed to nothing.
To so many it will sound far fetched but, I cannot express enough exactly how intense this has been. I came here hoping someone will recognize this as an empathic situation and help me/educate me as to prevent this ever happening again as in all honesty I am scared of it. I am not away and cured so to speak, this has affected me considerably.
I have always been sensitive to others feelings and emotions, I cannot bear any form of cruelty it makes me quite ill to hear of it.... But, nothing like this has ever happened to me before to be honest I did not actually believe anything like this could.
I always thought of empathy as feeling another`s pain I did not know what it was and how excessive it could be. Any advice or similar experiences?