Oh yes. I have managed to stay off of recreational drugs for most of my life, but now I wonder why. Sometimes I wish I'd just succumbed to an addiction rather than feel this way all the time. But stay strong!
Forum Activity for @visitor
Irrational fear sparked by empathy
I'm so sorry about your friend. I don't like the sound of phones ringing in general, but sometimes I notice that they sound different when the person on the other end is anxious. I can't really describe it.
Nobody ever recovers from a suicide. It's the worst thing in the world. You can't say it's God's will or bad luck or anything like that. You can't say it's old age, or it was her time to go. It destroys everyone around you.
Anybody ever sense an approaching death?
I've always been empathic, but this is new. I feel like something is going to change drastically very soon, like a death in the family, maybe. It's like a numb, gloomy feeling. I don't know how to describe it.
Does anybody here know when somebody's going to die, and do you know who it is, and how do you know? What do you feel?
UPDATE Jan 20, 2016: My beloved rescue dog died suddenly yesterday. Long story, but she was burdened by past trauma and physical weakness. Apparently she was a lot older and sicker than I thought she was. That would explain this lingering feeling of doom I've been feeling for months.
updated by @visitor: 09/01/18 09:27:44AM
Don't feel guilty. He is the one who caused the problem, and he feels terrible about it. That means he's human and vulnerable and regrets what he did, but he still did it, and you're wise not to trust him. Protect yourself first, and don't feel obliged to help him. I am in this exact same situation myself, except it's not a friend, it's a family member, so I know how hard it is!! Stay tough!
Hmmm. Being an empath should not be so lonely.
I would humbly suggest you find a healer of some sort. I've seen an intuitive healer and a shaman. Psychotherapists don't do the trick for me, although they're not all bad. I recently had a shaman remove a couple of entities from my body, and the results were remarkable. I've also had an intuitive healer drain negative energy from my body, and reconnect me with a few of my inner children, which freed them. You may have something or someone haunting you, possessing you, or following you. I really don't know how it works. But I know that empaths can easily let negative energies permeate them and we often confuse these energies with our own thoughts and feelings. Don't let this continue! Find somebody who can work on you hands-on. Someone in your town, or a few miles away. The drive will be worth it.
After becoming seriously ill several years ago, I suddenly "decided" that life was short and I didn't need negative people or leeches around me. I dumped them all, one by one, and didn't feel a bit of remorse (well, maybe a teeeeensy bit, but it didn't stop me). I never looked back. There are people who will use you, and people who will give back to you. There are also a lot of people who will kick you around and enjoy it - there are a LOT of these people around, and forget them! Life is too short.
Well, you will definitely need to join an least one empath community. If you can find one locally, you're lucky! But keep in contact with us and other websites that address this topic. I think a lot of people are just finding out about themselves. I didn't realize I was until this year. You will meet people who will nod and smile, or roll their eyes, but a lot of them will want to talk about it, and be drawn to you, because they know inside that you're right.
Most of us are empaths, if not all of us. You're not alone.
I'm a bit skeptical. I've always been scared of drugs, medicine, and too much alcohol (a little is OK), but other empaths use drugs and booze to stifle their feelings.
I do have a severe negative reaction to chocolate. There is a scientific reason for this that I FINALLY found in a Psychology Today article. It's not a common reaction - I get horrible mood swings - but it does happen to a small number of people and it takes them years to realize it.
I don't know much about dream interpretation, but you need to get a professional to interpret this for you - it means something very important. You might consult a shaman or a psychic. Good luck. This creature is real.
I've seen a shaman a few times - she removed a few entities that had been attached to me and disturbing my life. We removed them together - it turns out I knew who they were.
Ecila, if you have anxiety problems I'd suggest fish oil supplements. I take a (pricy) supplement called Barlean's pina colada smoothie - it's full of fish oil but you can't taste it. It's delicious and keeps me calm and sane. Truly amazing stuff. They have different flavors, and plain ol' unflavored too.
I talked to a shaman who said that when the time is right, you will remember events from past lives. You remember them in your soul, anyway. You know how you know things that you couldn't possibly know? That's probably from a past life. We all know different things about the truth. We get reincarnated for the experience and the knowledge. That's what I've been told.
Of course I believe in reincarnation. I know I used to be Native American, and I lived in the Southwest. Even though I was born in California, I never felt at home until I moved to the SW, back to the area where I had been happy, even if it was for just a short time. I don't remember anything about that lifetime; just that I loved being there. We've all been around many, many times. That's just the one I remember.
Chay, you don't sound mean at all. When I was a kid (pre-adolescent) I studied French. My teacher asked me in French, "Do you love your mother?" I said "Non." She insisted that I really did love my mother and forced me to say "Oui" so I did just to avoid further embarrassment. I didn't feel guilty - I was being honest, and that was important to me. Still is.
While I understand Crownite's apparent aversion to labeling, I have good reason to believe my mother was a "Cluster B" type. She was constantly depressed, angry, mean-spirited, jealous, punitive (though usually not physically), self-centered, melodramatic, and all-around abusive to me, my siblings, and my father. It actually gave her pleasure to see one of us in pain or suffering in any way, kind of a vicarious Baron von Munchhausen type. I escaped from her by creating my own little space in my bedroom, surrounding myself with pretty, comforting things, music, etc. My brother turned to drugs, my sister turned to sports. My father still lives with her abusive behavior, and he is the most non-abusive, kind, generous person I ever met (I'm not going to harp on enablers right now - this is about my mother).
I have seen therapists, counselors, psychiatrists, tried meditation, antidepressants, healers, shamans, and all kinds of stuff. All of it helped. I avoid certain foods (chocolate makes me feel 100 times worse) and take lots of vitamins and supplements - always liquid since they're digested quickly. I have tight control over my life and my very few friends.
It never occurred to me until recently that my "clinical depression" may have been empathy for my seriously disturbed mother. I do remember being depressed as a little kid and not knowing why. People treat depression like a disease; I think it's more likely a symptom of empathy.
Cats and Emapths?
Not at all. I love dogs more than anything, but cats seem attracted to me too. Probably because I will pet anything furry and soft that's sitting in front of me. But I'm definitely a dog person, and a strong empath.
Ithink we're all empaths, just to different degrees. Even the most shut-off people feel others' vibes; if you look in their eyes and watch their body language, you can see it even if they aren't aware of it.
I see a lot of anthropomorphism in these comments. Shame on you (I scold you gently)! Animals are very empathic, but they're simple (though very intelligent)creatures. Cats are not superior to dogs or vice versa. Dogs have been domesticated for thousands of years, cats not as long so they're a little wilder. Dogs are pack animals; cats are not. Both species were sent to us as companions and guides.
Been so forgetful lately
I haven't been more forgetful than usual, but I've been murderously angry, and once that wore off I became deeply depressed. I've been sleeping a lot, which isn't typical of me. I live near the infamous Animas River, which was recently polluted by a toxic spill and has been in the headlines, and I thought I was picking up negative energy because of that. I'm sure that's part of it, but I thought it was just local. I guess not!
Overwhelmed by sudden rage - local mine disaster
You've probably heard of the toxic waste spilling into the Animas River, if you live in the U.S. I live in the area and I'm in a murderous rage, whereas I'm usually pretty calm. I think I must be surrounded by people whose lifestyles are threatened by this mess. I'm picking up some pretty awful energy. Already a few businesses have had to shut down. People's health will be affected; we don't know how. The government is shrugging everything off and saying it's all back to normal. We ALL know that isn't true. I feel homicidal - this is awful. My family is completely unsupportive - they think I'm a crazy weirdo. I feel like I'm the sane one.
Any suggestions on how to deal with this? Anybody had this experience?
updated by @visitor: 01/25/17 02:03:58PM
Grounding quickly in a pinch. How do you do it?
I'm still new at this, wish I had some good advice.
There are times when you are going to be ungrounded, and it sounds like you had good reason. Don't be too hard on yourself when you can't pull it together. When you're broadsided by awful news, it's not easy for anyoneto recover quickly.
I get so angry grocery-shopping...
I get home and it hits me all at once - irritability, fatigue, and anger. Even at the nicest grocery stores, people are angry at the high prices, their own poverty -and it's contagious.
I can't afford a personal grocery shopper. Any ideas for cloaking myself from this nastiness?
updated by @visitor: 09/01/18 09:52:25PM
You're not "oversensitive". You're just sensitive, which means you're normal and healthy.
It sounds like people have alwaysexpected you to be a certain way, and didn't stop to ask you what you wanted out of life. If you try to live up to other people's expectations it's almost guaranteed to make you feel depressed and like afailure.
It's difficult to break away from people who try to control you, especially if it's your family. Try this book "Self-Care for the Self-Aware" by Dave Markowitz. It's helped me a lot.
Google "30 Traits of an Empath" and answer the questions. I got about 28 out of 30, so I'm a big Yes. My guess is yes, you are too.
Sometimes I read a photograph one way (for instance, all smiles = happy people). Then I will be thinking about the photo later and something doesn't feel right. I might go back and look at the photo again and see something different, like false smiles, sad body language, etc.
If you can read somebody's personality from a photo, I'd guess you're empathic and psychic both.
I don't have any answers, just a few thoughts. I just found out a few months ago that I'm an empath. It's been mostly positive because now so many things make sense.
First of all, I think most of us are empathic, just some of us far more so than others. We mostly aren't trained how to use this skill, just to hide it or "cure" it with antidepressants. It is a power, and if we learn how to channel it, we can change the whole world for the better. It's our duty to learn how to use our gift to do good and NOT to manipulate and control people (which is what bad empaths do, all too often).
I believe the world is going through an awakening period, and empathy is part of it. We have a latent power that's been hidden from us, suppressed, denied, whatever. We're all Harry Potters, waiting to conquer Voldemort.
Oh dear. I had a boyfriend like that. I tried to leave him so many times but I was afraid he'd kill himself or at least hurt himself. He's tried in the past.
It's been over 30 years since I met him, and he's still alive and I'm still alive, and I no longer speak to him anymore. Please believe me when I tell you I know exactly what you're talking about, and when I tell you that you need to put a huge distance between yourself and him.
I've had other friends I've found necessary to cut out of my life. It gets easier as time goes by, and I realize that I wasn't born to serve them. I tell them politely and firmly that I can no longer handle their baggage, and ask them not to contact me again. I've gotten some seriously negative responses, but I remain firm. I say a prayer for them, and leave them behind me for good.
Your friend needs a trained professional - I don't know if he'll choose a psychiatrist, psychologist, intuitive healer, counselor, or shaman, but he cannot choose you. You are not equipped to handle this - you need more than empathy and kindness. You need years of acquired skill, which you don't possess. You can't carry him on your shoulders any longer.
Try to tell him he needs professional help. If he can't afford it, he can look for a pro bono trained professional. I can't emphasize the word "trained" enough. There's a reason these people make so much money; they earn every penny of it.
Don't feel guilty. Just take care of yourself.
updated by @visitor: 10/21/17 01:44:09PM
Being a guy
I'm no expert, but I think the idea that empathy belongs to women is nothing but a myth.
I've met a lot of men empaths. No, I haven't interviewed them about their abilities, but I can tell they are able to read things in a way that average people can't.
I think maybe men don't talk about their sense of intuition much, because it's not considered macho. That's all changing. I think this world is about 90% empath (if not more) and we're all finding out about it now. The times are a changin'.
I'm glad you don't try to force it out of them.
Sometimes people aren't in touch with how they really feel. Or they don't want to come across as negative. When you say "how are you?", most people say "fine". If they're having a really, truly horrible day, they might say "I'm hanging in there." It's a cultural nicety to NOT dump all your problems on people.
An empath who manipulates other people is called a "toxic empath". I used to date a guy who was one. You should never manipulate someone to 1) see your side of things, 2) become like you, 3) do something for you that they don't want to do. Tell them in a straightforward way what you would like. If they don't follow your lead, that's their right and their choice.
Being empathetic: "That's happened to me before. I feel for you."
Being an empath: "I'm literally feeling what you're going through. I feel your sadness in my body. I feel your sore leg in my leg. I feel your headache and I need an aspirin. I feel your fatigue and I need a nap."
Also being an empath: "I don't know why I feel so lousy. When I go out in public, crowds make me nervous. I visited the hospital and now I feel sad and I don't know why. I go to work and feel angry for no reason. Help me? I don't know the difference between my own emotions and other people's. I don't know where these feelings are coming from or who's 'sending' them to me."
Little Kid Empath. Help?!
I've recommended this book 80 times, and here I go again: "Self-Care for the Self-Aware" by Dave Markowitz. The simple exercises can be used by children too. I've found them very helpful. If your little sister has an imagination (I'm guessing she does) she will be able to learn them quickly.
He teaches you how to let bad energy pass through you, which is healthier than blocking it out. Letting it pass through is no worse than taking a great big s***.
He also teaches you how to return bad energy to the person who gave it to you.
It all takes practice, but it's extremely helpful. You may be able to find the book online in a pdf form if you search for it.