Thank you @hermes for your words.
a word with so much
that is happening to it
misleading towards sex
yet powerful significance
enlightenment of our soul
lack of capability
is what destroys
yet unable to actually scare
yet unable to actually touched, truly
free your spirit
is not an option
- I'd love to hear your thoughts to it
lots of love to you all
I agree, I am wearing a black tourmaline as well...I wear it as a necklace and the power of this stone is really strong and wonderful. Highly recommended!
I also have a ring which is an orange calcite. it gives me positive energy and supports my mental pain.
I love these two stones... many times when I didnt know what was happening with me as I was so confused and stressed on a day, I realized I dont wear my stones....so, yeah
I am a person who is constantly analyzing whats going on around me, what I can learn from that, whatI can learn from the people around me ect ect.
For the past months I am a bit stuck with a particular situation I experienced 3 times in the past 6 months...and I am not sure what to learn from it. So today, it was an idea that popped in my mind, to post it here and maybe get some thoughts from you guys...
So, the particular situation is, that 3 very important people (two of them are also empaths...) either left me completely and one just made a huge step from texting everyday to a random 'hey, how are you' once a week... and they all did that over night.
Every single time it was like a shock situation for me. I feel a bit like I am traumatised ...I always tried to talk with them, tried to find out what happened all of a sudden...but without success.
It began with my ex-boyfriend ... every thing was normal.. we of course had some differences but we didn't argue a lot ... it was not at all any clear to me that he was thinking about breaking up. he obviously didn't share his feelings with me, what i didn't realize that time. Suddenly I got a text (!!) in the middle of the night saying it's over... and he didn't speak to me at all afterwards... can someone imagin that... I couldn't believe what was happening. it was like a dream.... honestly...surreal...
second.... one of my best friends is an empath. He is a caring, amazing person. 1 month after the break up with my ex boyfriend I was moving back from Londonto my country (Austria). So we stayed in daily contact via whats app and skype. We were in contact 24/7 and we talked about everything, shared everything, ... and all of a sudden, without any warning, the contact went as I said, down to once a week and just superficial... I asked him, I wanted to talk about what happened...but he didnt wanna say anything... he said 'everything is fine, this is just how friendship goes...'
anyway...I had to respect his desicion in a way and well, give him his space that he obiously needed.
Our contact did never break completely and is getting more and better at the moment as well...
so, and 3rd... I met this guy, an empath... countries are between us but our connection was strong and real. you know, when you meet someone and you are just purely yourself and you just connect, you talk about deep topics straight away, ...it's something so pure and beautiful. It's one of these things you always think doesnt excist and suddenly... seconds after saying hy, you feel like you have known this person ever since.
suddenly he was going through a tough time in his life and I gave him space. I do understand you need time to digest... but after some weeks without even knowing he is still alive... he started to be present on social medias again and so on...I tried to reach him ...but just a few simple sentenses and that was it.
So now..... I am wondering what life is going to teach me right now.
Why do people I trust, people I truely care for and give my sole to, dissapear over night. It breaks my trust. It breaks me.
Why do people I think they truely care about me, all of a sudden kick me out of their lifes. How is this possible to stop caring immediatly for someone...
I have no trust in people anymore... I am terrified of falling in love again so much that I am not even meeting new people. I am not attracting new people obviously with all my fear and energy I am sending...
So, again.... does anybody have some ideas...some thoughts... I know it is probably really hard to say something as of course the short stories are not enough to get an idea of my situations. You dont know me and you dont know these persons.... I know it is really difficult...
but I just thought I give it a try.
so, thanks a lot for taking your time for me
lots of love to all
Firstly I wanna say...I am not even sure why I am posting this here. I guess I just feel I would like to share my experience with people who are not judging me or who are not afraid to talk about their depression cause where I live ...talking about it is almost a no-go... so it is impossible to speak with someone who is open about what they feel or either to talk to someone who is not encouraging you to 'shake it off and move on' ..'you have to be strong and get through it'
A short summery.... I am almost 24 and from Austria. I was living in London till New Year and on 1st of January I fell into the deepest down I've ever experienced so far.
I was not able to go to work anymore and had a really bad gastritis.
I was forced to move back home to my country as it was not possible for me to pay my bills in London anymore and in Austria we luckily have a good social system and I have family and my best friend on which sofa I am living since January.
So I was going to my psychiatrist who I am working with for the past 4 years. Now, obviously I am seeing her every week and all the money I get from benefits I spend in seeing her.
Well I got better...much better...I felt ready to get back to my life again...but nothing turned up. No place to live or job ... without money ...what can you do.
so I gave up my dream of going back to London, of living abroad as I thought it is just not meant to be and in my mental instability I am also not ready to be on my own again ....
so I started to try to settle down here in Austria again which is a big big challange for me...Austria is very very narrow minded ...there are very little places where you can find people like us (I havent found one for me so far) and there is a lot of discrimination about race, people who are different then the norm and there is almost no space to express yourself.
anyway...what I actually want to share is what happened yesterday.
In the morning I was applying at a fitness studio in the closest city to where I live now... Fitness is my passion I would love to start working in the industry. (I used to work as a massage therapist)... in the afternoon I suddenly got a call and had a small telephone interview with one of the company manager...2 hourse later another manager was calling to make a trial working day for the next day.... and then it happened....total break down. I couldn't stop crying ... I felt I am not ready to go to that trial day. I cant explain why, or what was giving me the idea of not being able to go there but I just couldnt. It felt so wrong just thinking about it. I am so angry...angry that things that feel right for me are not turning up ...and things my mind and body refuces to do are turning up for me.
Can anybody tell me why that is?
How am I ever able to move on in my life again?
I am home for 4 months now and I am still not able to go even to a trial work day. how am I ever going to be able to work 5 days a week again?
How does the recovery from a total break down come again?
Do I just need to wait for the moment where I am able to take the next possibility of a trial work day .... or do I really need to get over it one day and just do it even it I feel a thousend stones puching me away from it?
What comes next?
4 months of countinuously breaking down.... what comes next? What do i need to wait for? How am I ever going to be able to live a 'normal' -earning money kinda life again?
I am alone...no relationship...How would somebody fall in love with a person who is that mentally fucked up that I am? I know it sounds rough...but how? Am I ever going to meet a person who loves me for the emotional desaster I am?
Does anybody out there have the same problems...suffering from depression and NOT having a partner ? Cause I think the fear of staying alone...of not finding someone is like so much bigger when you realize how difficult your life is even for yourself...
Puh I guess my text has become kinda confusing ...hm however I would be happy to hear your thoughts or either your experiences about depressions or expecially total break downs....
I really appreciate it!
Thanks for your time
Lots of Love
It makes perfect sense to me.
I experience the absolut same thing.
I feel the more I am around people, the more I kinda get away from my own Attitudes.
It's like I take their way of seeing live, of judgements and I don't know how and why but most of the time it takes me quite some time to figure out that what I am thinking of life right now isn't actually my way of seeing live.
After beeing in a group of negativ and shallow people , I go home and suddenly have thoughts and feelings about things in my live that really put me down... a few days later I suddenly realize that this is not me.
Do you recognize it streight away? Or does it take you some time as well?
How do you react to this then? Is it easy for you to change you way of thinking back to your own way?
Cause I find it really hard some time...
Hello out there <3
I can not tell what a big THANK YOU I want to say!!! So, I want to share my positive experience with you!
Since I got your messages....I have read and practiced many of them.
I started yesterday morning with questioning myself how I feel today. My first thought was " actually, I am feeling good"...which surprised me as I was feeling such depressed lately. well, I took this answer and said to myself ok...when I woke up, I was feeling good. so.... let's see
Befor I got up I cleansed myself with the fist-technique. I took all my fears, my worries....and exhalted them with releasing my fist. After that I closed myself with the zip-technique and did put myself into a huge seathrough bubble. "my CLEAR energy bubble" ....
I am doing this for the last 2 mornings now....and let me tell you what happened the rest of the day yesterday...everything was kind of unbelievable for me.
As I was starting my day I felt more energized than usual. And the most exciting thing about the whole day was, that I could see others energies when they got into my bubble. I saw them as colours. As I wanted to keep my bubble clear I just did recognize all energies as colours...but I exhaled them out of my wonderful clear bubble. and IT WORKED! I did not take them....it was overwhelming....first overwhelming thing for me was, that I was so surprised HOW MANY colours I took into my bubble during the day. Sencond, that I could tell immediatly from who the colours came from which offered me some vampires and people around where I work...that I now know, I defenitley need more protection from...
It also showed me, which people did NOT overload me with their energies. It showed me people, I was comfortable with because they kept their energies kind of by themselfs somehow. My attention was always on who is giving me the bad energy...but I did never pay attention to who is doing it NOT.
It was amazing. I could protect myself in my wonderful bubble! My mood was the whole day as it was in the morning. I felt good. I really felt good and most importantly, I felt ME!
I recognized so many energies...I took them but did let them go...and I could let go every energie from others...I stayed feeling good. It was wonderful.
It was so wonderful for me...for the first time I could tell which was mine and which was from somebody else. I am so happy!
Thank you all for giving me this experience. I know I need to practice practice and practice to put this bubble and the protection into my habit. Cause it takes me a lot of efford now to do all that. But I know the more I am doing it, the more it gets automatically.
I thank you so much that I could feel it and that I know that it is possible so select.
The universe gudied me on this side so that I can learn to accept myself.
I thought I have acceped myself quite good....apparently I didn't. Let me tell you I was in tears when I read your posts as somehow a part inside me said..."hey, we are NOT ill"...I did not know that a part in me is still thinking that...
I am so glad to be here and to get in contact with you all!
lots of love
hy to all....
I tryed to write a post so many times....I always deleted it 'cause I couldn't even sort it on a post what I wanted to say.
I read daniel's post now...and this is what brings me to this post what I will finally send.
As you all can read , my first language isn't english, so please excuse my mistakes.
I am 23 years old. I started to become aware of my "gift" 4 years ago when I started a therapie because of depressions.
I went throught the whole children things everybody is explaining... beeing different...got bullied all over... beeing alone. I don't have many friends...and if I am about to get more, I have to leave. When I am in rooms with people who's energy is to strong for me...I faint when I don't leave the room.
As daniel posted as well....I so many times feel just lost!
I don't want to be an empath! honestly...I really dont!
It's difficult, it's hard....it is just ....hard.
I am helping so so many people...but the only person I can't feel...the only person I have no clue about ...the only person I can't help with my "gift" is myself!!!
I am so overwhelmed by everything I feel. I just want to hide somewhere ...I just want once NOT to feel anything.
I know I sound very depressed right now...I am not allways like this.
Many people in my life told me....You are so wise....you are so young and so wise... you are very special and wonderful...ect ect....
I am working with energy....I am meditating...breathing... protecting myself with techniques....am wearing healing stones to protect me from others energy but still .. I switch from insane happyness to insane sadness....take others emotion just by looking into their eyes.... and I kinda have the feeling that I am just out of control even tho I am doing so many techniques to protect myself.
So please, I am asking you....all you experienced empaths out there in the world
HOW DO YOU CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS?
HOW DO YOU SELECT YOURS OUT OF OTHERS?
HOW DO YOU NOT FREAK OUT EVERY DAY?
I know everybody who is writing here in these discussions have up and down's isn't it?
Please tell me that I am not the only one who thinks so many times "wow , well done me... you have your gift under control, you can do so many good things with it: this is just wonderful "...and a little bit later the world breaks down again cause you just quickly talked to somebody with pain.
thank you for reading
and sorry for the desperate post