Forum Activity for @sarah

Sarah
@sarah
09/09/15 09:30:47AM
386 posts

cluster B parents


Empath

My dad has narcissistic personality disorder, and because I'm an empath, I've born the brunt of his bad behavior and psychic abuses. I still love my dad, but I have recently begun to wake up to the damage is has caused me. I am trying to learn how to protect myself from him when I have to be around him. I don't know how yet, but I hope to get there. I guess it helps to know that no matter how much he blames me, it's not about me, it's about him.

Sarah
@sarah
09/09/15 09:27:22AM
386 posts



I'm super sensitive to medications of all kinds. I only take tiny doses of meds when I need them, like Advil, and it works really powerfully for me. If I have a normal grown up dose of anything--including alcohol--it's way too much for my system.

Sarah
@sarah
09/08/15 05:15:02PM
386 posts

Just wondering.


New Age

I used to be part of a major religion, in fact, I only left it a year ago, but I needed to because I couldn't follow god and my religion at the same time because they were telling me two different things. I just wanted to love people no matter what, not judge them and call some people righteous and some sinners.

I was hard to break free because I use oracle cards and crystals and all that, too now and I was always told it was bad. My husband hates that I use all that stuff, but that's where my spiritual gifts are and I can't help it.

You are just going to have to do what is best for you, and it will be unique to you. If that means you feel drawn to use stones and meditation, then do it. People who give you a hard time about it don't understand. It is hard to sort of break into another way of connecting to god, but when you allow yourself to do it, it is very freeing.

I am of the same opinion as you now, that I don't feel I have to attach myself to one religion to follow god. The universe is full of truth and beauty and I just don't think it could be confined to one single plan. If it works for someone to be in one region, then I'm glad they found what works best for them, but it's not for me.

Sarah
@sarah
08/15/15 12:46:56PM
386 posts

buying an abandoned house


Dreams

I'm sorry you are having to go through that. That sounds like a lot of hard things. I'm sure you will find the perfect place for you when it's the right time. Hugs!

Sarah
@sarah
08/14/15 04:20:32PM
386 posts

buying an abandoned house


Dreams

Oh wow! Thanks for that link. I think houses, along with pregnancy are my most common dream symbols. I have them all the time. That's interesting about your hotel dreams. I never thought of those being an extension of the house theme. That makes a lot of sense to me. I bookmarked the link because I'm sure I'll use it often.

Sarah
@sarah
08/12/15 08:26:36AM
386 posts

buying an abandoned house


Dreams

Interesting that you've had those dreams, too.

After your comment, I decided to do some energy work. I pictured each room of the house from that dream and the others I was having. I cleared out each space and imagined it perfect and immaculate. I even changed the ghost to a live little girl and energetically gave her everything she needs and wants. I finished when each room and the grounds and the systems of the house were all clean and perfect and cleared. I don't know if it helped me or not, but things like that take time to see results sometimes. It felt nice either way.

I hope that now when you dream of houses, they are beautiful and whole. If not, maybe you can do this healing exercise, too. :)

Sarah
@sarah
08/11/15 07:30:04PM
386 posts

buying an abandoned house


Dreams

I'm sure you're right. I hadn't even thought about the little girl ghost being a part of me that died back then either, or the fact that it will take time because it's a mansion. You are right. Thanks for this!

Sarah
@sarah
08/10/15 10:35:26PM
386 posts

White Owl crossing my path twice


Psychic and Paranormal

Okay, I just looked up Athena in a goddess book. It talks about how she was the goddess of, among other things, assertiveness and healthy defense. It talked about rituals involving Athena having to do with standing up for yourself and protecting yourself from people who don't treat you well and things like that. That kind of blew my mind because the episode of healing I mentioned in the post had to do with me standing up for myself for the first time in my life to someone who has repeatedly treated me abusively and disrespectfully and who tried to control and punish me for being myself. It involved me speaking up in a calm, rational and very firm way to this person and telling them I will not take that behavior anymore. It involved getting honest about how this person has affected my life and saying NO MORE. This sounds very much in line with the energy of Athena.

Sarah
@sarah
08/10/15 06:39:50PM
386 posts

White Owl crossing my path twice


Psychic and Paranormal

Thank you so much! I'm going to go learn about her now.

Sarah
@sarah
08/05/15 09:40:49AM
386 posts

White Owl crossing my path twice


Psychic and Paranormal

Oh wow! That's a beautiful story! Thank you for that!

Sarah
@sarah
08/04/15 05:09:48PM
386 posts

White Owl crossing my path twice


Psychic and Paranormal

At the beginning of this summer, I promised myself to have a magical time. I would heal and have fun and live life to the fullest. So far, I've done that. On my first bike ride by the river of the summer, I was all alone on the trail and it was just after twilight, but it wasn't quite all the way dark, and a huge, beautiful white owl flew in front of me. It cross the trail and soared around it for a minute or so and then flew off. I'd never seen an owl just fly in front of me before. It felt like such a gift.

I went on to have a wonderful few weeks, then things got hard as I had some healing stuff come up to be addressed. I have been really struggling since that happened, but I'm trying to keep positive and still make time for fun and enjoying even through the healing process. Well, just a couple of nights ago, I was riding my bike along the river and again I was alone. Again, it was just about all the way dark and I saw the white owl again. She crossed my path again and circled around for a minute again, then flew off like last time. It feels like a sign. Maybe it's just that there is an owl that lives there and I happen to have seen it twice, but it feels like something else because I've never seen anything like that before. Could it have been a spirit guide or something? Any thoughts?


updated by @sarah: 07/02/17 02:44:28PM
Sarah
@sarah
08/02/15 09:59:44AM
386 posts

buying an abandoned house


Dreams

For the past week or two, I keep having dreams that I buy a big fancy house that is abandoned and run down. Each dream, the house gets bigger and more overwhelming. Last night the house I dreamed we bough had so many rooms I couldn't count them. It was, like the others, a beautiful grand historic house that was abandoned and left to ruin. It was fixable, but I was overwhelmed with what needed to be done. Also the one in my dreams last night also seemed to be haunted by a little girl who had died in a fire there that she accidentally started a hundred or so years ago.

In these houses there are bats and owls and animal droppings, and spider webs everywhere. All the houses seemed to have furniture left in them all kinds of things that were lovely in their day, but were left to rot. Most of them were fixable, but at considerable time and expense.

I think it has something to do with healing childhood wounds. We went to a family reunion recently and I found out, unfortunately, that an unhealthy close family member's chronic bad treatment of me since childhood is at the root of a lot of my anxiety and a lot of my other issues I don't want to go into here. I wonder if these dreams mean I'm overwhelmed with what needs to be healed and feel like I can never be free of the baggage this person has dumped on me, because that's how I feel in real life, or is it telling me something more?

At the same time, the dreams feel hopeful. They are bigger houses and each one beautiful. I don't know exactly what it all means.


updated by @sarah: 02/23/17 01:54:26PM
Sarah
@sarah
07/25/15 03:33:22PM
386 posts



To me, I would think that dreaming of an earthquake would mean a sort of shake up somewhere in your psyche. Also, the house flying feels like it might mean that you feel ungrounded or out of control. For me, houses represent myself. If that is similar for you, then you might be feeling all shaken up and out of control. Feeling like you are going to die would go with all those hard feelings.

That sounds like a really scary dream.

Sarah
@sarah
07/04/15 08:48:48AM
386 posts



I don't have any real answer, but I'm commenting because I want to see any discussion that follows. I have dreams like this fairly often. I feel like for me they are also more than wish fulfillment because some of the men aren't even men I've been involved with or wanted to be involved with in real life. Plus, like you, I'm married and faithful, but the dreams always feel nice, like some kind of gift or good message.


updated by @sarah: 09/11/17 09:17:33AM
Sarah
@sarah
06/26/15 08:59:47AM
386 posts

Snakes eating each other and flying in a homemade hot air balloon


Dreams

Whoa, it did rather look like Ouroboros, the serpent eating it's tail. I like those interpretations. They feel big and whole to me, like the circle they created means the whole thing, if that makes sense.

Thanks again everyone! These have given me a lot to think about.

Sarah
@sarah
06/25/15 07:10:39PM
386 posts

Snakes eating each other and flying in a homemade hot air balloon


Dreams

Thank you! I just love these interpretations.

I didn't think about the peacock representing vanity, but I bet it does. I've recently bought a bunch of new clothes--I even bought a few pieces before I went to bed and had this dream yesterday. I wouldn't say I'm vain, but I've been putting more than usual attention to how I look lately, and feeling good about it. After all this struggle with leaving my church and all the crazy healing I've gone through this past year about it, I'm at a place where I feel more comfortable and happy, and even pretty. What you both are saying, makes sense to how I'm feeling.

Sarah
@sarah
06/25/15 04:49:04PM
386 posts

Snakes eating each other and flying in a homemade hot air balloon


Dreams

Oh, I hadn't thought of it in that way at all. That makes sense to me. Thanks!

Sarah
@sarah
06/25/15 11:23:07AM
386 posts

Snakes eating each other and flying in a homemade hot air balloon


Dreams

So, I had a dream this morning that I feel means something, but I don't know what. It was in two parts. The first part I was walking, and every few feet I saw two different snakes and one was eating the other. It was like they were making a snake circle somehow and one was eating the other. In one part, it was a peacock that was eating a python--somehow--dreams are weird.

For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to cook some of them and eat them. I took one bite and it was so gross, I threw it up. I woke up and thought someone was sick in my house, but we were all well. Well, actually, I am feeling under the weather today, but not in that way.

Then I went back to sleep and I dreamed I made my own hot air balloon out of brown paper grocery bags, ribbon and a plastic storage bin. I got inside the bin and curled up in fetal position and let the balloon go. It worked. There was no fire or anything, it just sort of worked magically on its own. I couldn't get myself to get up and look over the side to see how high I was flying for fear of freaking out and tipping it. I just let it go where it would and it flew beautifully, and landed in a the perfect place.

Any ideas what this might mean?


updated by @sarah: 03/12/17 05:33:15AM
Sarah
@sarah
06/18/15 07:27:53AM
386 posts

Crows in Dreams


Dreams

P.S. It's the next morning and I didn't dream about crows, but a murder of them is circling my house cawing, and one keeps flying past my bedroom window over and over cawing. So interesting!

Sarah
@sarah
06/17/15 10:41:00AM
386 posts

Crows in Dreams


Dreams

Wait, also something else! Long before my family lived there, it was a Miami indian city. There are still thousands of arrowheads and artifacts there. It must have been big. The history of the land is part of the story. I think, maybe even they are ready for me to write this.

No pressure. :D

Sarah
@sarah
06/17/15 10:32:40AM
386 posts

Crows in Dreams


Dreams

I think I just found something. I am a writer. I write middle grade novels for kids. The day before yesterday I finished a later draft of my latest book and sent it off to a friend to review, then I will fix it and send it to my agent to see if we can sell it. Well, that freed me up to get back to work on the book I've always wanted to write. I"ve started it a few times, but yesterday, it really felt like it was the time and it felt good. It's a ghost story that takes place in the house my grandparents lived in when I was little. It's going to be a scary ghost story mystery (if I can pull it off). It felt SO good to work on it yesterday.

After I posed this, I was about to go work on it, and I saw the scary image of the crows in the storm in my mind. It reminded me of the scary feeling of the book. Then I realized the crows that came to me close up and the scary crows might be giving me a sign that this is the book to do now. I asked if that was right and I got another sign. Lately, I've been finding change everywhere. I use it as a sign that guides and passed loved ones are mindful of me. As soon as I asked, I looked down and there was a penny and a dollar bill at my feet--in my kitchen, where I'd been all morning and not seen it at all. That was the first time I'd gotten paper money instead of change as a sign. I think that was a big YES.

I feel like not only I want this book written, and have since I was a little girl, but my loved ones who built the house or lived in it, or who love the town it is in want it written, too, even though many of them are passed.

Okay, now that I said all that, I better get off the internet and go work on it right now. :)

Sarah
@sarah
06/17/15 10:21:28AM
386 posts

Crows in Dreams


Dreams

Interesting about the colors. That's a lot of what I thought, too--sort of the balance of the poles of the chakras. Think the symbols of the colors and the female and male twin all represent a wholeness, or parts of a whole.

Neat that you've had your own crow experiences, too. I'm sure I was, if not a shaman, at least a witch or a wise woman healer in another life, as were both of my daughters. The must follow people like us.

Sarah
@sarah
06/17/15 09:51:07AM
386 posts

My daughter and crows


Psychic and Paranormal

Okay, I'm going to pull this thread back up because now me and both my daughters see crows all the time. My daughter who was originally connected to them doesn't see them when she's with her boyfriend, but when she's with me and my other daughter or by herself or with other friends, she sees them every day.

Last night, I dreamed of crows. At first, there were thousands of them in a storm. I couldn't see them except when lightning flashed, and when I did see them, they were eating dead animals. It was really creepy. Then a group of them came to me and it wasn't creepy. There was a main one and he came right up to me, almost "nose to nose." He let me touch his beak. Just typing about it, I'm having those energy feelings in my fingers like when I do Reiki. I think it is trying to tell me something, but I'm not sure how to find out what it is. Anyone have any tips for finding out what our spirit animals are trying to tell us? I am going to start by meditating and seeing if I can connect that way.

Sarah
@sarah
06/17/15 09:27:14AM
386 posts

Crows in Dreams


Dreams

Yeah, you are probably right. I'm not sure what they're telling me. I'll have to ask and see if I get an answer. Thanks!

Sarah
@sarah
06/17/15 06:44:22AM
386 posts

The Queen of England


Dreams

I often dream of the Queen of England. Probably partly because I like her and am interested in her as a person and how well she's used her power and her unusual life.

I honestly don't know if your dream means anything or if it was just a dream, but I had to chime in because she is a frequent visitor to my dreams as well. :)

Sarah
@sarah
06/17/15 06:42:01AM
386 posts

Crows in Dreams


Dreams

I just woke from a dream that felt really symbolic, like it was giving me a message. I think I understand parts of it, but one of the bigger parts. I'm not sure.

I dreamed a girl I worked with years ago at church and who is grown and married now was pregnant with twins. She went to the birthing center and then to the hospital. She had a boy and a girl. Her sister was with her to support her. This sister didnt know anything about birth, and was shocked and disturbed to learn what a c-section was. She couldnt watch the c-section, but when she was shown the stitches, she was very freaked out.

When the babies were born there were two colors, orange and blue. They kind of looked the hue of sports team colors. I dont even know what they were on, maybe balloons or banners or something, but those two colors were there, and seemed a huge symbol that wanted not to be missed.

I dreamed I was out at night. There was a far away storm. I had been getting scared by storms lately, but his didn't feel like a scary storm. In fact, I told the people I was with that this was almost a soothing storm rather than a scary one. There were crows everywhere and they were really creepy. It was like you couldnt see them until the lightning flashed, and in the flash you could see hundreds or thousands of them picking a part and pecking at animal corpses. A group of them flew right up to me. I was sitting down and one in the group came up and looked at me right in the face. We were practically nose to nose. I touched his beak and it just stood there like it wanted me to know something and had come to tell me, but there were no words.

I think the first part of the dream represents my healing from leaving my religion and the battle between the two worlds that I experience--the world of a fundamentalist religion and the world of freedom, and the battle my subconscious is still going through in healing me. I think the colors might represent wholeness because they are opposite colors one representing more body centered and creative and cheerful, and the other more spiritual and enlightened and peace.

I think the storm might mean the battle I am in right now. It was acute and scary and hard for a lot of the year I've been in this faith shift, but lately it has smoothed and I've embraced the hard parts as parts of healing, and they aren't as scary any more.

The part that has me baffled is the crows. I see them a lot in my non-dreaming life. They follow one of my daughters around, and often are around my other daughter and me as well. Not a day goes by lately when I don't see at least a few crows. I know they were trying to tell me something in my dream, but I don't know what. Especially, the one that came up to me and looked me in the eye and let me touch him.

Anyone know what that might mean? I looked it up and every site had conflicting ideas about it. I'm just not sure.


updated by @sarah: 06/10/17 01:08:12AM
Sarah
@sarah
06/10/15 04:08:12PM
386 posts

Reiki:)


Healers

I've been a Reiki master since 2007 and I love it! It's what opened the whole field of energy work for me. I use it all the time. The only advice I'd give is use it often and your gifts will grow. And also, enjoy. :) Congratulations!

Sarah
@sarah
06/02/15 11:43:19AM
386 posts

Graduation


Empath

I think I'll go to the crystal shop today and see what I can find that speaks to me out of those. Thanks! I better also have a review of the tools for empaths, just in case.

Sarah
@sarah
06/01/15 07:40:43PM
386 posts

Graduation


Empath

Oh wow! That sounds like so much to deal with all at once! I think you are on to something when you say just experience the raw emotions. After I posted this, I just allowed myself to cry a lot. I didn't have work until 2 in the afternoon, so I just rested and cried. I think if I allow myself to feel and express these feelings on the days leading up to it, I might not be such a powder keg of emotion. Yes, I also got the waterproof mascara. :) I hope I can enjoy every moment and not be too overwhelmed or too deep in shielding or any of that. I know my daughter will have fun. I hope I will, too.

Sarah
@sarah
06/01/15 09:21:00AM
386 posts

Graduation


Empath

So my daughter is graduating this Friday. I'm really close with my kids and graduations are tough for me on a lot of levels.

Last year my son graduated. I was a basket case for the weeks leading up to it. I tried to hide it the best I could and be happy for him, but I'm sure I it was obvious it was really, really tough for me. His graduation itself was nice because he went to a small experimental high school and it only lasted about an hour, there were only a few hundred people, and there was an overall not too overwhelming feeling. Not going to lie, though, it was a really, hard emotional day for me, even though I was so proud of him.

I'm really dreading the ceremony this Friday. It will be the very worst kind of ceremony for me. There are 1000 kids in her graduating class. That means an arena full of people feeling intense emotions--all of which I'll be picking up on because I'm an empath. I'll be zipping up like crazy and asking for angel and guide help just to get through it. I'm proud of my daughter and I think she will enjoy graduation and I wish I could just enjoy it and celebrate with her, instead of just trying to get through it with as little xanax and panic and crying as possible. It feels like a death to me having my kids graduate and move on, and compounding that by a big, emotionally overwhelming ceremony, it makes it that much harder. Plus, you just want to be happy for them and celebrate them and not have it be about the mom.

Do any of you have advise how to get through this easier so I'm not just surviving and can be there for my daughter?


updated by @sarah: 02/04/17 05:29:28AM
Sarah
@sarah
04/30/15 06:36:13AM
386 posts



I agree with what Emmy said. It's possible that they are just dreams and your brain is taking days to break down and process situations in your life, but I would bet it is trying to tell you something. I would go to a dream interpretation site and see if you can find out what the symbols mean and feel what rings true for you.

Sarah
@sarah
03/20/15 02:23:10PM
386 posts



That's so wonderful!!! :)


updated by @sarah: 03/27/17 08:12:08PM
Sarah
@sarah
03/18/15 05:15:07PM
386 posts



That's amazing! I'm with Ecila, it sounds like it as direct from spirit and you really were shown a past life. How neat! I also don't think spirit just shows us things randomly or for no reason, so it might be good to see if you can find what it means, because it might be of help now or later. That's really cool!

Sarah
@sarah
03/15/15 04:15:17PM
386 posts



I am an author as my main job, but I am a teacher's aide at an after school program for financially disadvantaged kids and their families as my day job. I totally love both of my jobs. My problem is we really really need to make significantly more money just to meet our basic needs. I really should be working a full time day job, but I get so overwhelmed it affects my health and stamina really easily. I'm not sure what to do. School is out soon, and I'm thinking I should get a full time job in the summer and maybe carry it over to the next school year, but I also love my part time school job. I don't know. Being an empath is vital to both my jobs, but it makes it hard to have a full time job like everyone else.

Sarah
@sarah
03/14/15 04:05:42PM
386 posts

This has been incredible!


New Age

Paul, I asked the same questions and had depression, too. It's been super hard and super intense. It will still take me a long time to deprogram all the way, but I think I'm through the hardest parts now.

Sarah
@sarah
03/14/15 08:32:48AM
386 posts

This has been incredible!


New Age

Thank you, Lightworker! I'm so grateful to not be in the tormented, confused, deep pain parts of this journey anymore. This has been such a blessing--even the hard parts. Thanks so much for your comment and support.

Sarah
@sarah
03/12/15 09:36:50AM
386 posts

This has been incredible!


New Age

I am finally at a place where I'm coming out of the darker parts of my spiritual journey, and I feel amazing!

I suppose, I've been on this journey for decades really, but it hit full tilt when about a year ago now, I got a spiritual prompting that told me to step away from my church. I was VERY entrenched and couldn't listen to the prompting. Eventually a few months later, I was able to, but not without getting a huge case of religious trauma syndrome because of the circumstances surrounding it.

As soon as I left, I got another prompting that told me to not just know, but to really get to FEEL what it feels like to be outside of my church. I also wasn't able to follow that prompting yet. It took me months and months to get to that point. When I did, I started seeing my religion objectively for the first time and realized it may not be for me. It was a shocking, painful and uncomfortable feeling.

Once I got to the point where I could finish what that guidance had told me to do, I got another one. It told me to stop asking if the church is true, and instead ask if it is serving me well. Again, like with all the others, I was unable to do it right away. As I learned how, though, my idea of faith and truth shifted dramatically. I saw that it is best to look for good and what serves an individual well on their journey, rather than worry about absolute truth. I'm not even 100% sure there is an absolute truth, and if there is, we human beings could never understand it.

The last prompting I got was to step more out into the world. I'm at the place where I don't know how to follow it, but I for sure trust it, because I see how things have worked out so far.

It's so strange to me that my stepping away from my religion has brought me closer to God than anything has. I have learned to trust God and that my needs and journey count. I've also come to believe that the holy spirit that prompts us is the same thing as our guts. They will always tell us the same thing, and are pretty much the same thing in a lot of ways. I am more confident in the divine and in myself. I am beginning to look forward to where this journey will take me next, and I am glad I'm out of the dark night of the soul part. There has been so much more to this journey that I am able to really share at this point, but I'm just now being able to look back in wonder at how my life has changed this year. Thanks for letting me share it with you.


updated by @sarah: 05/11/17 06:05:35AM
Sarah
@sarah
03/11/15 07:47:43AM
386 posts

Wow!


New Age

Hugs!

Sarah
@sarah
03/10/15 06:51:21PM
386 posts

Wow!


New Age

Neat! I started doing past life work is something I started doing about a year ago. I can usually only see the parts of past lives that have to do with my healing, so I know what to heal, but sometimes I see little blips like this that help me and guide me. It has been amazing! I'm glad you have had your own awakening and have seen things in your own past lives. :)

Sarah
@sarah
03/08/15 06:22:44PM
386 posts

Living with a depressed person


Empath

My husband, too. He doesn't believe in self growth really and he complains about getting old and his body not working as well, but he won't do anything about it. He just wants and enjoys pity.

He has had low, dark energy for most of our marriage and it cost me much of my happiness and peace. He is better now, but not completely better. I've had to do lots of secret energy healing on him for my own sake because I couldn't stand living with such a low vibration person anymore. He doesn't believe in energy healing and resents that I do it, so I have to do it in secret, then give him the credit when he magically thinks he started to choose to do better.

He still is underemployed and has been our whole marriage and that causes lots of daily problems, but I can't fix everything and it's not my job anyways. It's his job. Sometimes I feel okay about it, but a lot of times it's really hard. I'd love to be married to someone who things being an empath is real and my energy work is real and who takes responsibility for themselves, or just be single. Alas, he stays just healthy enough that I stay with him. I greatly fear three years from now when our last kid moved out. I will die if I have to spend all day with that heavy energy and resentment at me for being who I am. I hope things change between now and then because I don't know how I'm going to take it.

Sarah
@sarah
03/08/15 03:45:51PM
386 posts



I don't know if that was the case or not, but it is for sure possible. How cool if that's what happened!


updated by @sarah: 12/25/16 08:32:10AM
Sarah
@sarah
03/08/15 10:49:35AM
386 posts

Wow!


New Age

Ecila, I do think that's where I'm heading--in a direction where I can appreciate the good things of all religions. I've always found religion in general fascinating and learning more about the origins of human religion, the myths and rituals and symbols and truths together make me even more interested in it. I think this time of being an outsider is going to be very valuable to me on a lot of levels, and one of those is to help me appreciate the purpose of religion in people's lives even more. Which seems counter-intuitive, but there it is. :)

Sarah
@sarah
03/07/15 09:28:46PM
386 posts

Wow!


New Age

I had a really powerful past life or maybe pre-life experience the other day. To be honest I still feel funny sharing this stuff here because it's personal, but it's had such a big impact I want to share.

As a lot of my posts here have dealt with I'm in a time of spiritual awakening and moving away from my intensive religion. This has been an excruciating, euphoric, confusing, stressful, intense, blessed time that I am very grateful for. It feels a lot like those books and shows about people leaving the Amish faith or a polygamous compound. It's been that life changing for me.

Well, part of this process has involved a fair amount of grief and anger. I kept feeling mad especially that I didn't finish this awakening when it first started decades ago when I was a teenager. It would have been smoother and less traumatic for me to have gone through it then, then now when I've raised my kids in it and all that.

When I was once again lamenting that fact the other night, I was meditating and I suddenly saw myself before I came down to this life. I saw I was making plans with my guide about what I wanted to learn and experience this time around. I saw that before I came here this time, I had been fascinated by my particular religion. I saw that I'd learned a lot about it and studied it, but that one of the things I wanted from this life was to actually experience being a part of that faith. It sort of felt like a religious scholar who is fascinated by the Amish, and gets an opportunity to live in their community for a year. What an enriching, dream come true opportunity. Well, that's what I did with my own religion in this lifetime.

I suddenly saw the things that have been giving me pain in a new light. I saw that having a religiously addicted parent made it so I could have an especially immersive experience. I saw that even though I'm not even from this part of the country, I just happened to end up two miles from our church world wide headquarters, what a thrill that must have been to my spirit to be that close to its heart. I saw many more things like that. I also saw that it was a blessing that I didn't finish my awakening until my early 40s instead of my teens. That way I got to really be involved all the way, in a way that wouldn't have been complete if I'd left as a kid. It was all part of the plan I chose.

I feel like my time in that religion is probably at a close now. Who knows. I've been so guided through this whole process. If I feel drawn back for some reason, I'll go back, but it doesn't seem to be moving that way at all. Now, since I had that past life related experience, I feel like I can leave with great gratitude instead of confusion and anger and sadness. What a blessing!


updated by @sarah: 03/11/17 09:25:21PM
Sarah
@sarah
03/05/15 10:26:23PM
386 posts

Something nice in the air. Anyone else feel it?


Empath

Neverquitter, I'm glad you are getting some peace after two years of hard stuff. Yes, you are right that full moon really does make a big difference.

Sarah
@sarah
03/05/15 10:53:48AM
386 posts

Something nice in the air. Anyone else feel it?


Empath

After I posed about my anxiety, I had a really spiritual experience that showed me something that made me feel so loved. The good feeling is back.

Sarah
@sarah
03/05/15 10:53:09AM
386 posts

Something nice in the air. Anyone else feel it?


Empath

Emmy, I'm so glad you are feeling it, too. :)

Sarah
@sarah
03/05/15 09:29:38AM
386 posts

Something nice in the air. Anyone else feel it?


Empath

Today I'm feeling a huge rush of anxiety and unwellness. I have been comforted from the other side, but I feel a little less peace. I feel like it is still, there, though. I don't know what this anxiety is from, but hopefully it is just me and you all are continuing to feel that peace and rest energy shift.

Sarah
@sarah
03/05/15 06:20:53AM
386 posts

Something nice in the air. Anyone else feel it?


Empath

Neverquitter, that's what it feels like to me, too. I'm so glad you are feeling it as well.

 
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