Forum Activity for @moon

moon
@moon
12/13/16 06:59:23AM
73 posts

May I request a love reading please?


Request a Reading

Here's what I get:  I see you meeting somebody in connection with something creative that you do.  Something outside of the 9-5 work-a-day.  I feel as though this is something you do "for yourself" but you will need to get out there with it.  For instance, if you're a poet, you need to get your work out there - maybe do some readings at an open mike kind of thing.  I feel that you will meet this person in connection with finally deciding to put yourself "out there" and to stop hiding.  I feel that you need to wait for the right one because this person will absolutely change your life.  Here's the caveat:  Don't let your head get turned by someone who, deep in your heart you know is not the right one - have patience.  The right one is out there but there's a lot of timing involved.  

I also get that you are standing in your own way in many ways.  You will not this person in any of the places that you normally hang out, therefore you need to expand your horizons in a positive way.  Again, this is connected to the creative part of you.  

I get the number 8 very strongly.  I feel that this has more to do with the 8th month than the 8th of a month.  The number 8 is also a very lucky number - so keep your eye out for it.  I also get April with very positive feelings attached.  There is something in April that will bring positive things into your life - or more accurately, will allow you to bring positive things into your life.  

Blessings.

moon
@moon
12/08/16 07:09:00AM
73 posts

I needed a good laugh this morning


Empath

Just walking in the door is like a shock to the system.

moon
@moon
12/07/16 03:51:25PM
73 posts

I needed a good laugh this morning


Empath

I wonder how hard it would be to retrofit one of those Walmart scooter things ss an armed tank?

moon
@moon
12/07/16 05:14:41AM
73 posts

May I request a love reading please?


Request a Reading

What's your specific question?  A photo, dates of birth would work for me.

moon
@moon
12/07/16 05:11:41AM
73 posts

Help? Please.


Psychic and Paranormal

A lot of dimensions/worlds/frequencies allow energies to assume any form they want at will.  Don't go by what the entity looks like.  Sounds negative to me - do a good clearing and stand in your power.

moon
@moon
12/06/16 11:59:31AM
73 posts

I needed a good laugh this morning


Empath

So Funny!  This is what I've been struggling with lately.  A reminder for us:

How to build the life we want:  Attach only to those things which will enhance and nurture us and those around us.  Hang on to anything that swells our hearts with love;  for all that is around us including the delight of the natural world, the people and animals in our presence, our fellow humans and most of all ourselves.

                                                  Give as little attention as possible to all those things that will diminish and injure us and others.  Let go of anything that narrows and weakens us into a place of fear; negative people who cling to the material world as if it's the only reality, negative thoughts of insecurity and inferiority.  Let go of guilt and shame and self-recrimination.  

                                                  Forgive ourselves and others for fear-based thinking as it is a side effect of living in the illusion of the material world.  Find what we love and pursue it like a smitten puppy.  Feel the fear and do it anyway.

                                                  Start our day with a spiritual practice/spiritual reading.  This will remind us of what is real, what's important and who we really are.  What we ingest first thing will stay with us all day.  Create a warm "buzz" in the morning and maintain it all day.  

 

Watch your thoughts; for they become words. Watch your words; for they become actions. Watch your actions; for they become habits. Watch your habits; for they become character. Watch your character for it will become your destiny.


Frank Outlaw

moon
@moon
04/30/16 09:32:34AM
73 posts

Feeling Like my life is over.


Empath

I couldn't agree with you more, Halime65. They are extremely dangerous. They cannot be used on a regular basis without negative effects.

moon
@moon
04/28/16 05:35:04AM
73 posts

Feeling Like my life is over.


Empath

We usually can't grasp how much our childhood experiences have affected us until we're much older. Usually when we're done with child raising and all those things that fill our minds and days with young kids. My heart breaks for you and the little girl who is still alive and well inside you.

You cannot carry all this by yourself. This is too much for one person to deal with without support. It sounds like you are in crisis and all the events of your life are clamoring for resolution and peace. You can achieve this in therapy with a therapist that you feel connected to. Many towns and cities have low cost local mental health facilities where you can schedule an appointment with someone who works with womens issues. As a result of your childhood and marriage, it sounds like you may be dealing with PTSD.

You can also find a local ACA group (Adult Children of Alcoholics - there doesn't need to be alcohol involved). This is a twelve step program that offers support for people who grew up with family dysfunction. There are also online and phone meetings. Take a look at their website. Here's a cooy of the "Laundry List" and it's flip side.

The Laundry List 14 Traits of an Adult Child of an Alcoholic

  1. We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures.
  2. We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process.
  3. We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism.
  4. We either become alcoholics, marry them or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.
  5. We live life from the viewpoint of victims and we are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relationships.
  6. We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves; this enables us not to look too closely at our own faults, etc.
  7. We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.
  8. We became addicted to excitement.
  9. We confuse love and pity and tend to "love" people we can "pity" and "rescue."
  10. We have "stuffed" our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much (Denial).
  11. We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem.
  12. We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings, which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.
  13. Alcoholism is a family disease; and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink.
  14. Para-alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.

The Flip Side of The Laundry List

  1. We move out of isolation and are not unrealistically afraid of other people, even authorityfigures.
  2. We do not depend on others to tell us who we are.
  3. We are not automatically frightened by angry people and no longer regard personal criticism as a threat.
  4. We do not have a compulsive need to recreate abandonment.
  5. We stop living life from the standpoint of victims and are not attracted by this trait in our important relationships.
  6. We do not use enabling as a way to avoid looking at our own shortcomings.
  7. We do not feel guilty when we stand up for ourselves.
  8. We avoid emotional intoxication and choose workable relationships instead of constantupset.
  9. We are able to distinguish love from pity, and do not think rescuing people we pity is an act of love.
  10. We come out of denial about our traumatic childhoods and regain the ability to feel and express our emotions.
  11. We stop judging and condemning ourselves and discover a sense of self-worth.
  12. We grow in independence and are no longer terrified of abandonment. We have interdependent relationships with healthy people, not dependent relationships with people who are emotionally unavailable.
  13. The characteristics of alcoholism and para-alcoholism we have internalized are identified, acknowledged, and removed.
  14. We are actors, not reactors.
moon
@moon
04/27/16 04:32:32AM
73 posts

Feeling Like my life is over.


Empath

I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. I understand those feelings of desperation, lonliness and fear. Many of us have been in similar situations. I agree with Karma completely. I don't think that a new man is your answer. It sounds like it's time for you to create a loving, secure relationship with yourself.

Try and turn your thinking around. Put your focus on yourself and your needs. This is the beginning of a brand new chapter in your life. At fifty, you can now discover who you really are and what you really want in life. Now is the time to reaquaint yourself with those things that made you happy in childhood. Find the passion inside and allow it blossom.

Cut the negative energetic cords to your father and your ex and keep putting the focus back on yourself. Perhaps there's a women's group or some kind of supportive group in your area. I know you said that you've always been a loner but usually that comes from fear of being vulnerable and is probably based on your history of abuse. You don't have to trust or make yourself vulnerable to others all at once. If you do find a group, start out slowly and let your trust grow.

Your children will come around eventually. They probably don't have enough life experience yet to understand your cirumstances and it may make them fearful. Give them time.

moon
@moon
04/26/16 06:39:06AM
73 posts



Dominique, I can so relate to this. I think many of us find ourselves in this position. Speaking from the point of view of someone who has been there and is much older than you, here's my advice:

Follow your heart. In the end, nothing else will satisfy you and you will always be striving for something else. Take the time and space you need to look within for the answers. You will find that the world will always try to pull you in the opposite direction. You came here to be you - it's your gifts that the world needs. Figure out what they are and then find a way to use them. This may not be how you earn your living (at first) but over time, if you remain committed to your truth - you will find a way to make your soul and your job match.

Nothing is going to feel comfortable at first because we didn't come here to fit in, we came here to blaze trails. You will need a lot of self love, self comittment and patience. I wish you those things and more, my friend!


updated by @moon: 01/29/17 10:21:50PM
moon
@moon
04/09/16 05:04:27AM
73 posts

Fight or flight response


Empath

Jamie, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I can relate to this. I find that anxiety becomes habitual for me: I expect to be anxious in certain situations and my anxiety doesn't disappoint! I'm working on this too. I have been working on visualizing different outcomes in these situations and it does seem to help.

Here's how I would do it in your situation: When you are at home (or sitting in your car - not driving) try deep slow breaths until your body can relax deeply and your thoughts can take a backseat. Then visualize a typical situation that would trigger your anxiety. Try to involve all the senses, as if you're really there: smell the food, see the crowds, hear the voices. Try to seee only happy, pleasant customers and see yourself interacting in a calm, assertive and friendly way. This is simple but not easy because your thoughts will keep trying to rush in but with practice, it will definitely help. I think it helps to change the energy. Somehow our anxiety seems to "call in" people who will challenge it. Also, make sure you're grounded to the earth. There are lots of tips on grounding on this site or the web in general...

Working in a mall is probably one of the hardest situations for any empath - all that energy! You definitely need a calming practice of some kind to keep you balanced. Remember to breathe - our energy follows our breath. If you are not breathing deeply enough as you go through your day, that can trigger fight or flight.

Keep us posted and remember you're not alone with this. You have lots of company!

moon
@moon
04/09/16 04:43:56AM
73 posts

Getting out of Toxic Home


Empath

When I have felt like this in the past, I've come to realize that I had to work on accepting the way things were and waiting for the divine/God/Goddess/universe to create my next move at the perfect time. I have "forced" many a situation to my own detriment because I wasn't willing (because I was suffering) to wait for the perfect thing to come at the perfect time. I found everything I did just put me in my own way...

I hear your pain and I can so relate to it. Acceptance of "what is" is key and while you're waiting and praying, work on those things about yourself that you can so that you're ready for the change.

I will add my prayers...

moon
@moon
04/07/16 05:44:42AM
73 posts

Does anyone else get very agitated, upset with the change of season


Empath

Yes. Yes. ...and yes! Every year as winter falls away, I look forward to shedding the boots and coats. I imagine that I'll have renewed energy and a feel healthier and more expansive. What really happens is that I become a mess! I feel bombarded and weighed down and I catch every cold and virus within 200 miles! My anxiety reaches new heights and I just want to crawl into bed.

My theory now is that I'm being overwhelmed by the tension of all that new life getting ready to pop! All the buds and grasses that are just on the brink of exploding completely "jangles" my energy and just wears me down. Since I've begun to recognize this, it has been a little better.

You're the first person I know to experience this too! It's nice to know I'm not alone! Thanks for bringing it up!

moon
@moon
03/27/16 09:13:39AM
73 posts

Empath as a Filter


Empath

Sorry. Wasn't suggesting that you were. I believe everyone must find their own way.

The concept of not shielding came as such a revelation to me after years of frustration with white light and bubbles and visualizations of all kinds of protective devices.

I believe that decades of "fighting" the energy caused my chronic autoimmune diseases. I am paying a mighty price now for my ignorance. It is my fervent wish that other, younger people who are dealing with similar scenarios learn that there is a whole other philosophy and perhaps an energetic purpose for having these empathic gifts.

The article is very interesting and certainly points to a need for learning, understanding and sharing these concepts which I wholeheartedly agree with.

Thanks for posting the link. Blessings..

moon
@moon
03/26/16 06:21:39PM
73 posts

Empath as a Filter


Empath

Well, speaking for myself and only myself, shielding by whichever means has never worked for me.

moon
@moon
03/26/16 04:36:41AM
73 posts

Empath as a Filter


Empath

Yes, according to some, we have a purpose in transmuting and grounding the energy around us. A good book on this subject is: The Reluctant Empath by Bety Comerford and Steve Wilson. Apparently, all this shielding we've been doing only serves in keeping energy stuck to us. We should be allowing it to pass through us without judgment or adding our own energy to it. We are also supposed to stay gronded to the earth...

moon
@moon
03/18/16 07:06:09AM
73 posts

Just found out my mums cancer is terminal


Empath

How I long for that cloak too! I know it's hard to cope with those feelings - they're enormous and confusing! Remember to be kind and loving with yourself. I wish you peace!

moon
@moon
03/15/16 04:04:19PM
73 posts



It's hard but I think we need to restrict our social circles as best we can to include those we know are genuine and not game players. For many of us that even includes people that we truly love...

moon
@moon
03/15/16 06:44:06AM
73 posts

Just found out my mums cancer is terminal


Empath

Gem, I'm so sorry for this. Many of us have been there and truly understand. The best advice I can give you is the advice I wish I'd had:

Allow your mom to make her own decisions about her health.

Be there as a non-judgmental shoulder for her when she's ready to talk about things.

When and if she's willing to listen, tell her about your beliefs in a comforting way and be honest about your own feelings.

Most importantly, allow yourself to feel your feelings - again, without judgment. Some of the feelings you have will feel enormous - just allow them to wash o er your body then let them go. When we resist feeling our feelings that's when we get in trouble. Sometimes you will be completely numb. That's okay, too.

Start a journal - so you have a place to "go" with your thoughts.

Gem, recognize that no one is prepared for this kind of loss and everyone copes in their own way. There is nothing about this that will make "sense" to you. You are on a journey - the effects of which will be with you for the rest of your life. Give yourself some space to absorb that. Be kind to yourself.

As a former Hospice worker, I would strongly encourage your family to consider Hospice when the time comes. The only complaint I ever heard about Hospice was: "We wish we'd called you sooner."

Blessings

moon
@moon
03/15/16 06:13:07AM
73 posts



I think most empaths have a tendency to be caretakers and rescuers. When I found myself feeling used in all my relationships, I was angry and hurt.

I learned that we can't change other people, we can only change ourselves and our behaviors. I had to take a good long look at myself and see how I was inviting certain behavior from others. Because I didn't like confrontation, I let a lot of "little" things slide again and again. These little resentments tended to pile up and over time they became mountains of hurt. Because I wasn't willing to "stand in my truth" with people - they got to decide what my truth was...

I had to take a good long look at my motivations with people too. Because I hated the thought of not being liked, I gave way too much of myself to others, then I expected the same from from them - but they never signed up for that plan. That was my agenda.

I think a lot of empaths learn at an early age how to be a chameleon - so we can fit in just about anywhere. I think the healthiest thing we can do is learn who we really are and learn how to honor ourselves.

moon
@moon
03/14/16 06:22:49PM
73 posts

Bodies In The Street


Dreams

First thing that stood out to me is the fact that you are anxious about avoiding a multitude of things - people, circumstances, scenarios that are "dead" (as in dead ends.) This is causing anxiety and interfering with your progress. I would consider what things in your life that are slowing you down and represent dead spots. You may be trying to find a way to get around these things rather than running over them...

moon
@moon
02/04/16 06:08:06AM
73 posts

I MUST get something off my chest


Empath

I'm sorry that you've had that experience. I struggled for many years before learning I was an empath. Couldn't understand why I always had panic attacks when walking into the courthouse just to deliver papers for my job, literally couldn't be around certain people or had to push down a need to run out of the mall! I eventually developed an autoimmune disease and began looking for answers. Learning I was an empath was a relief and explained so many things. For me, just understanding (finally) was a major positive point on my journey.

I think a lot of people get stuck in thinking they've been cursed with empathic qualities. I see it as a gift and I try to accept and honor it as best I can.

I completely agree that positive thoughts are key because they change our frequency. The highest frequency I've ever been in is gratitude and I strive for that every day even though I don't always get there!

Eva, welcome to the boards - you will find a great many like souls here. I'm so sorry that you had a negative experience. Don't let it affect you in any way. Keep spreading the word of "positivity". A lot of people need to hear it!

moon
@moon
02/03/16 08:17:58AM
73 posts

I MUST get something off my chest


Empath

"Nothing is outside of creation..." I like that. I truly believe that the very best we can do is to send prayer - positive energy - however one sees it. We have to "fix" things on that level and allow it to "trickle down" to the material plane. Righteous indignation and militant protest hasn't gotten us very far in terms of all of our issues. Thank you for your service in that regard!

moon
@moon
02/02/16 04:42:48PM
73 posts

I MUST get something off my chest


Empath

Eva, I wholeheartedly agree with you. It's so easy for people to become moralistic and so eager to validate that they are not one of "them". I honestly believe that we are all children of light and there's nothing I couldn't be given the right circumstances for better or worse - the same biology, chemistry, early experiences, etc.

Byron Katie (The Work) talks about speaking at prisons and thanking the prisoners for taking on that role so the rest of us don't have to. I think we all take turns with these "roles" - victim/perpertrator because this is a world of duality. It's easy to feel good about the saints among us and it's easy to have compassion for the innocent. To have true unconditional love for all of humanity is hard because we must include those who are sick and act in ways that disgust and terrify us. God (the Divine, Goddess, Higher Power) loves them too. We are not there yet but maybe we should at least understand the concept...

Do you have a link to the video you mentioned?

moon
@moon
01/19/16 07:33:07PM
73 posts



Sometimes your own head can really mess with you, right? It sounds like you're being really hard on yourself. Sometimes, when you're "spinning", it's time to just stop and regroup. Just set the weight of it all down and take a breath. We all go up and down in our energy. That's normal. It doesn't pay to push yourself beyond your limits in any given moment. Why not give yourself a week or two "off"? Just do normal, enjoyable things and try not to think yourself into knots! Watch some funny movies! In order to be able to draw from the well you need to refill it on a regular basis. I think that we all struggle with these things as empaths - especially knowing what's ours and what's theirs. The difference is we don't all "demand" so much from ourselves. I read my biorhythms at least once a week. They're usually pretty accurate. I'll realize I'm feeling frustrated or angry or just flat and I'll see that my rythmns are down and then I realize I don't control everything. I'm subject to cycles like every other living thing - I can let myself off the hook. I like the daily charts on Whitestranger Biorhthmn Calculator (free website). (Not sure I'm spelling rhythm right, lol)

moon
@moon
01/19/16 07:16:06PM
73 posts

Empathic Teachers


Empath

Aurora, bless you for doing what you do. You are making a mark on generations of people yet to come. It's a very hard and draining job - it takes every part of you. My daughter is also a teacher and an empath. She has the same issues as you. She began doing yoga acouple of times a week and it's been helping her. It's a hard job - you have to be "on" every moment of the day. You can't put your feet up on the desk or hang out at the water cooler. Although she loves it, my daughter (Dana) is making plans to start her own education-related business. I think some jobs are just not meant to be forever at least not in the same capacity forever because there's a high inherent burnout factor. Dana describes some older women she works with who have been teaching for decades and they're so burned out they just "phone it in". That can't be good.

moon
@moon
01/19/16 07:03:25PM
73 posts

Can't walk away


Empath

I understand what you're saying. It's all about boundaries. Do what you feel is right for you - some compromise that will allow you to have a clear conscious and is consistent with what you feel is right. Not what he thinks you should do for him. If he is going to make ridiculous decisions to try to force you into a corner, that's emotional blackmail and not acceptable. You should put yourself into a position to say "I'm willing to do x and y but I will not do z." After that, if he chooses to live on the street then that's the option he chooses. Somehow, with people like this, it never seems to come to that - they land on their feet because ultimately, they know how to look out for #1.

The point is, you are a person too with rights and needs and preferences His don't trump yours. He's an adult and he's shown you what he's capable of. If you offer any assistance, it's on your terms in a way that keeps you comfortable and safe.

Here's one more quote (Maya Angelou) "When someone shows you who they are - believe them."

moon
@moon
01/19/16 06:22:02PM
73 posts

Can't walk away


Empath

I completely agree Angel. We are on a journey and these people are our teachers - painful as the lessons are. Anita Morjani is a woman who had an incredible near death experience. As a result she was healed from Stage 4 Lymphoma. She had similar issues in her life. She was asked "What did you do with the life you were given?" "How did you honor that life?" She wasn't given one ounce of credit for having deferred to other people's demands. She was held accountable for not loving and honoring herself. She wrote a book: Dying to Be Me. She learned that the cancer was a result of not following her own heart and being who she was meant to be. Very powerful stuff.

Here are some quotes I came across today (don't know who to attribute them to):

"People learn how to treat you based on what you accept from them."

"I'm mature enough to forgive you, but I'm not dumb enough to trust you again."

"Close some doors. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because they no longer lead somewhere."

"Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions."

"Stop asking me to trust you when I'm still coughing up water from the last time you let me drown."

Love quotes!

moon
@moon
01/18/16 10:14:48PM
73 posts

Need help


Empath

I think it's pretty common that they don't seem to talk in dreams for some reason. I'm sure she wants you to know she's fine and is with you.

moon
@moon
01/18/16 10:11:52PM
73 posts

Need help


Empath

I love that word: "bittersweet" that exactly how i feels. I felt my mother around me for a long time after she died. One morning I got the strong feeling that it was "time for her to leave." I remeber saying "It's okay mom - I'm okay now." That was September 10th, 2001. My mother worked across the street from the World Trade Towers for years. I always thought she had to help souls get across.

I was the only one at home with my dad when he died (I was nine). He was in bed and I just thought he was sleeping. At one point, I went into the bedroom to wake him. As soon as my hand touched him, he spoke to me (from up near the ceiling). He said: "Everything will be alright." At the worst moment in my life, I was given a most precious gift - the sure and certain knowledge that there's no such thing as death. Just seperation for a short time...

moon
@moon
01/18/16 09:02:48PM
73 posts

I need your guys advice please


Empath

Try relaxing quietly and "allow" the pain to be. Just notice it, don't judge it -try to keep your head out of it. Then just "allow" it to melt away. Picture it melting away or passing through you - whatever feels right. I find this "accept/release" approach works better for me than "shielding". I do agree with grounding - I think empaths especially are often not in their bodies. We have to call ourselves back and occupy our bodies completely. I think that helps other people's stuff from getting in.

Also, consider that it could be your pain. I often have trouble telling if it's mine or theirs. Either way, the "accept/release" should give you relief. Blessings

moon
@moon
01/18/16 08:49:02PM
73 posts

Need help


Empath

I was certainly raised Christian and although I don't practice any organized religion anymore, I still very much love Jesus and the love that is his message.

One thing I do believe is that God made you and you are perfect just as you are! Emotions including anger are part of being human - part of how we are made. Bring your anger to God. God has big shoulders. You can trust him/her/it (I'm sorry, I just can't do the old man/white beard thing lol) with any and all of your emotions. They are part of the deal.

I don't think God would expect us to be saints. I think we come here to experience this life - the good/the bad - the journey. Accept and love yourself - that honors God. Honor your feelings - that honors God. You can't live in this world without getting angry (even at God). It's a tough place - unfair and incomprehensible at times.

Emotions come and go - they're like the weather. Don't fight them - just feel them. Where do you feel the anger in your body? Just feel it - without judging it. It will pass if you give it its moment on the stage.

I lost my sister when I was two and my father at nine so I know a little bit about what you're feeling - although losing your mother has to be very hard especially when you're a new mother yourself. You feel ripped off, right? Singled out? Feels like someone should "fix this", right?

I think you must be a special person to be given this burden so young. Grief breaks us open and cracks open our hearts. It makes us face the "worst that there is" early in life. Speaking as one who is much older than you, I can tell you how it has worked for me - this grief. First of all, I'm sure I don't have to tell you, grief doesn't go away. It's like a living thing, it changes and grows as you change and grow. It will be easier to handle because you will get stronger.

I found at an early age, I had much more compassion for other people and their sorrows. I had to take a spiritual view of life because nothing else made sense. Even when young, I could find perspective in things when other people got bent out of shape. Guess what? I now can see a purpose for the "purposeless" of my losses (including my mother who was broken by grief for my whole life) - I have helped others. I have been given a gift of feeling for others and that broken heart has been used as a channel for love. God works through me and (he/she/it) will work with you too. I say this with complete humility and gratitude. There was a point to my suffering after all and there will be to yours too.

In the meantime, you must allow yourself to feel what you feel. Grief rules the day - always. We have no control over it - it comes as a wave and will knock you down. Let it - you won't be down long. In the meantime, you will live life as a young woman and mother - jobs and bills and worries and diapers all the things of this world will keep you busy - this is how it should be. Let it be. Enjoy it. Laugh. Cry. Have a meltdown. It's all okay. All part of this beautiful tapestry we call life. Somehow all the crazy threads come together and a beautiful picture becomes clear.

Lastly, just let me say as a mother of a young woman - your mother is NEVER far away. She will watch out for her baby and her grandbaby - of course she does. Talk to her. She hears you. Love never dies. God Bless you, Baby Doll!

moon
@moon
01/18/16 07:38:10PM
73 posts

Can't walk away


Empath

Oh, Renee - I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this. I know how it tears your heart in two. Even when you know the right and logical thing to do - that little voice keeps telling you that you're somehow "bad" or that you "should" be doing more... I am soooo familiar with that voice.

I always remind myself that just because I love someone, it doesn't mean they're good for me. Unfortunately for me this means a great many members of my family who are addicted to substances, drama, bad behavior - you name it. I remind myself that they are being "who they are" and although I fervently wish things were different, it's not in my power to change them and it's not my job - nor is it my right. Who am I to say what their journey in life "should" be. My responsibility is to myself and at some point (when I became physically sick) I had to stop the bleeding and get my nose out of their "stuff" and start taking responsibility for my own "stuff". I had to summon up enough love for myself to remove myself from a painfully pointless situation - the same way you would remove a child or a dog even from an unhealthy situation. Shouldn't we love ourselves at least that much?

I would watch my siblings repeatedly engaged in drama, chaos and violence and walk away without being affected in any way - they'd go back for more - they thrive on it! I'm different. I feel things - deeply - painfully - I'm an empath. I finally had to honor that and take care of myself - that's my job. Easy? No way. Time has helped and "talking myself off the ledge" (metaphorically) sometimes daily has helped. The support of people who "get it" has helped. Educating myself has helped.

I learned that "one day at a time" doesn't mean that I "white knuckle" it 'til tomorrow - it means that I remind myself every day (maybe every hour when the guilt gets bad) why I'm doing what I'm doing and I don't allow myself to slip back into unconsciousness again.

moon
@moon
01/10/16 01:47:30PM
73 posts



The best thing (and probably the only thing good) about breakups is the ability to learn more about who you really are and what you need for happiness. Learning to love yourself no matter what is an awesome epiphany - good for you!


updated by @moon: 03/29/17 10:20:06AM
moon
@moon
01/10/16 01:42:31PM
73 posts

Can't walk away


Empath

Keep us posted, Renee. We care.

moon
@moon
01/08/16 04:25:26AM
73 posts



Pete, This is just fabulous - so imaginative. I really like the juxtaposition of the outrageous creature and the understated, tonal palette. Really works!

moon
@moon
01/05/16 07:32:00PM
73 posts

Can't walk away


Empath

That's usually how it works - look good on the outside at all costs. ACA is a worldwide 12 step group. I was lucky enough to have a good group in my area. There are groups everywhere including online and phone meetings. There are lots of great books also. If you look up adult child/children, codependency or dysfunctional families you'll find lots of great books.

Most families are dysfunctional b/c most people are dysfunctional in this crazy world - it's a matter of degree. You can pm me if you want.

moon
@moon
01/05/16 04:05:34PM
73 posts



Sounds like you're in a pretty good space, John. One of the things I was left with after mine was "how could I have put myself through that for so long - what's wrong with me?" My lack of an impulse to take care of myself became really apparent to me. It is what put me on a healing path so I have no regrets...

I apologize because I hadn't read the rest of your posts where you talk about paranormal stuff happening. Turns out, I had similar stuff going on last spring and one of our dogs was being terrorized by something that neither my husband or myself could see. I felt that it was stemming from a very large mirror (so large it has to sit on the floor and lean on the wall).

I was seeing fleeting shadows and my dog was going nuts at night - tracking something around the room. I also caught a definite orb on my camera.

One night a friend and her dog slept over. She slept on the sofa nearest the mirror. In the middle of the night, her dog went ballastic - barking and growling at the mirror. Well, that just confirmed what I had been feeling.

I asked around for suggestions on what to do because the only I knew to do was to sage the H of the place. I wasn't having it. I got the following advice from Lon Strickler who does spirit rescue:

"...Instead of smudging with white sage, I recommend using lavender oil in a diffuser or lavender incense. Frankincense and myrrh resin placed on a small charcoal wafer are also very good. If you prefer long-term protection, I suggest acquiring black tourmaline crystals...placing in different parts of your home. Pendants of black tourmaline or red jasper are also very effective. Make sure to dedicate each stone (with a simple affirmation with a directive of protection) before placing."
Here's what I did, I painted the whole mirror with white Gesso (an acrylic primer), leaving a little space in the center unpainted (for the whatever to pass back through - my own theory).
Then I waited until I was in a really good, strong mood and I opened a window in each room (cracked - 'cause it was coooold), then beginning at the top floor and going all the way to the basement I walked around with the burning incense and smudged each room thoroughly. I didn't say any formal prayers but I expressed my intention for anything non-seen to leave immediately. I tried to stay in a powerful head space, yet compassionate toward any lost souls (or maybe the souls of my beloved passed over pets). I remained confident that this would work - I wouldn't allow myself any doubt at all. After I finished the "manifesto" in each room, I sprayed the lavender oil (mixed with water in a spray bottle) and I placed a Black Tourmaline somewhere in each room.
When I was done, I took my acrylic paints and painted a large angel on the mirror. I don't know if this would keep anything from passing through but I just thought it might be a good touch and I didn't want to look at that mirror anymore - plus it's way too heavy to move.
That was the spring - it's winter now and it's been good ever since - so I would recommend this or some similar ritual.
I'm not one to believe in spirits in just the traditional Spiritualist sense. I believe that the many different dimensions are teaming with life - some good, some bad, some neutral. I don't want any of them getting too comfortable here lol. I don't necessarily trust 'em. I've hear that some can take on any form they want.
I've taken away the mirrors except for the bathrooms and I keep those doors closed. I'm not sure what happened if something wandered through some portal but Max (my friend's dog) seemed to confirm it was the mirror and things are calm and peaceful now - so the proof's in the pudding. I will no longer buy or acquire antiques either.
Good luck with all you're going through. I know you'll find lots of support on these boards.
moon
@moon
01/05/16 03:06:25PM
73 posts



Rose Rosetree wrote a book called Cutting the Cords of Attachment. As I recall, it was good. Divorce (especially after such a long time) is in fact a death. Give yourself time and space to grieve and allow yourself to feel what you feel. I would be gentle with myself and try not beat myself up for whatever my perceived "sins" were. That's an easy trap to fall in to as is poisoned thoughts about your spouse. You know what they say about drinking poison and expecting the other guy to die...

As someone whose been there, I know that we tend to see divorce as a failure - that's just another way to beat ourselves up. The truth is relationships last as long as they last. Some for six months - some for fifty years. I don't think the length of tme is as important as the things we learn about ourselves.

Try and set your sights on the good things the future holds. The new life you will begin to build as a wiser, more loving man. Allow yourself to dream about what that will look like. Eventually those dreams will turn into plans and ideas and before you know it you'll find yourself on a brand new journey learning new things. This is an opportunity for change. Why not make it change in a positive and healthy direction.

moon
@moon
01/05/16 02:35:02PM
73 posts

Can't walk away


Empath

ACA (formerly ACOA - Adult Children of Alcoholics) a twelve step group for people coming from dysfunctional families (any kind of dysfunction - doesn't have to be alcohol/drugs) helped me more than anything else in my life.

You learn through this program how we are affected by growing up in chaos and dysfunction - basically we have to forego our own development in favor of survival. We develop ways of coping with the dysfunction which become our "default" coping mechanisms for life. Unfortunately, these "specialized" tools don't usually work in the real world but since they're all we've got, we keep banging our heads against the wall.

We learn how dysfunctional families are "enmeshed" and family members are not free to be individuals but rather must fulfill narrow roles within the family. Do you identify as the hero, the caretaker, the rebel, the scapegoat, the mascot or the lost child (or some combination thereof)?

We learn that dysfunctional families have three rules: Don't talk (never talk about the family's problems outside the home), Don't trust (never trust anyone outside the family), and Don't feel (I'll tell you what to feel).

Most often, we don't feel the effects of dysfunction until we're grown up and many years away from childhood -that's when the proverbial chickens come home to roost and we wonder why life is a painful struggle for us.

We learn to take responsibility for ourselves and our happiness while allowing family members to take back thier own issues. We learn that we have a right to our own lives and our own happiness. We learn to "detach with love" from family members who are a threat to that happiness. We learn to forgive ourselves and our family members who themselves are the product of dysfunction.

We learn that we are entitled to create boundaries in our lives and we get to chose what they are. Some boundaries are low and flexible, for instance: "I can only be around her one or twice a week unless something pressing comes up," or I can handle talking to him on the phone once a month. Some boundaries are high and permanent for some people especially in cases of severe abuse,as in: I'm done with the person and I'm freeing myself from the situation for good - no contact at all. The point is that WE get to decide.

Be careful of feelings that tell you "can and should" fix a relationship or "fix" someone. Most of us have spent our lives trying to do this, ending up by only hurting ourselves - you can't fix someone who doesn't think she's broken. Often misplaced guilt and and a sense of hyper-responsibility are the legacies of family dysfunction. Guilt and shame are often our automatic reactions to taking care of ourselves and not "them". I have to remind myself over and over that just because I feel guilty, doesn't mean I AM guilty.

I have counseled many people over the years who have suffered from the effects of growing up in dysfunction and pain - it is at the root of many human issues and it's very hard to work on by oneself because the remedies feel counter-intuitive at first. I know many people who are in the process of gratefully healing from this hell, myself included. I know two things for sure: you're not alone and there are changes you can make that will begin to effect this healing in you. Blessings

moon
@moon
01/05/16 07:41:26AM
73 posts

Ocean Between (written for my parents and sister)


Arts

Ocean Between

Nothing here recalls your passage.
No remnant - no leaving.

Footprints there were,trailing to this darkened shore,but as you drifted off, even these were drawn behind.

Yet I wait.

I stand.
A dubious portrait of you - poorly composed, deceptive in likeness yet all that is left of substance.

You cannot return and I cannot follow.

Instead, I keep watch at this imponderable impasse.
This windswept border place - vague boundary between sea and sky and sand - now my familiar post.

I keep dazed vigil and stand a final monument to our parting.

A distant line dividing sea and sky provides the constant.
All else is noisy contradiction.
The tide increases and hammered in by an unseen will, negates itself again, slumping back.
Ancient stars dip down and brush the mirror sea with an ever-changing counterpart of themselves.

With every liquid assault, the sand beneath my feet dissolves in frenzied recant.
I am not meant to dwell here- in between.
This thin place - a crossroads only - does not sustain.
Alone and cold and stung, I cannot linger and yet stay mortal.
You and I - of separate natures now, are each native to different elements and neither can abide this third.

So, I must turn and leave this place.
Making final mark of the moment I saw you last - face obscured -your silence, abrupt and terrible.
I set aside the riddle of your voyage and resume my own.
In my own pilgrimage I look to find you again.
I too, will leave no trace here.

Gathering my squandered farewells, I wrench my eyes from hypnotic tide.
These footprints too, will dissolve in silvery web.

I leave behind only my tears- which joined to countless others, ever refresh thisocean between.


updated by @moon: 03/04/17 08:38:32AM
moon
@moon
01/05/16 07:05:07AM
73 posts

Lets try something different: Emphatic Experiment #1


Psychic and Paranormal

I am pulled west (I live in the northeast). I see towering piles of snow being pulled toward the earth in almost tornado fashion. I see the Rockies and I hear the word "trouble". I see lines of cars and a school bus stuck on a mountain highway with snow swirling across the asphalt. I hear the crunch of snow as men traverse a tall pine forest in search of something. I can smell the clean crisp air tinged with pine. They are not too anxious about it - whatever it is... I see t.v. flashing news that has to do with a major snowfall but I can't seem to see the particulars.

I guess this is a prediction of sorts? I just get these disjointed images. I hope this snow storm doesn't come to pass because apparently, it's a doozy!

moon
@moon
11/11/15 12:41:55PM
73 posts

Freaking out!!


Empath

The ancients saw this time of year as the time when the veil is thinnest. Maybe that's why you're having these experiences now. I believe that prayer is the highest good we can do for these souls. Don't forget that we used to think thunder was the anger of the gods. Just because we don't understand something doesn't mean it's bad or scary... It's just our first reaction ( thank you Hollywood) to things we don't understand - but we don't have to "go" with it, right?

moon
@moon
11/11/15 05:48:48AM
73 posts

Freaking out!!


Empath

Where do they come from and where do they go? They pop in and out of existence... Same with UFOs and cryptids. It seems like we interact briefly at spots where our dimension and others touch and then move apart again.

It's so fascinating! Do you recollect what she was wearing? That might be a clue to time period. Since it was on the road, maybe she was an accident victim. Maybe there are places where strong emotions create an imprint on the environment and events happen over and over - tape loop theory. If that's the case, then others have probably seen her along that stretch of road too. Also she would be more like a video image playing over and over with no consciousness attached.

Many years ago, when I used to deliver the paper, I had a similar experience. I was pulling up to a driveway to put a paper in the tube and there was an elderly woman walking slowly down the driveway foward me. I figured she was waiting for the paper as a lot of elderly people did (it was like 4 AM). I looked away briefly as I rolled the paper up in my right hand so I could hand it to her. When I looked up, she was gone! She had only been a couple of feet from my car and there was absolutely no where should could have gone that quickly.

As I thought about it, I began to realize she was only wearing a thin housecoat and this was winter and cold. She also had a blank expression on her face and I couldn't recall her looking in my direction at all. I realized I had seen a ghost...

These stories are so fascinating - especially the phantom bus riders! There is so much we don't know about how reality actually works. Once in a while we get a little tantalizing peek that reminds us that there is more...

moon
@moon
11/02/15 03:32:48PM
73 posts

Being such a sensitive empath, leading to addiction


Empath

Hey Visitor, so sorry that you are feeling so bad. It seems that the drugs were masking your feelings (they're really good for that). When you get sober they are there again - big, nasty and dripping. Only now they have company. They have a whole new set of friends that they accumulated while you were using - and now you're supposed to be "just fine", right? If you were able to deal with this crap, you wouldn't have gotten addicted, right?

I don't know what you were using, for how long or how long you've been sober. I know that it is a really messed up rocky road in the beginning and most people can't do it alone. I don't know how much support you have but it sounds like you need some.

Have you been to a meeting? What are your feelings on that score? I don't believe that the 12 steps is for everybody but I truly believe that everybody should try it. The usual deal is to try at least six meetings to see if it's for you or not. If you've never been, I can promise you - it's not what you think. Nobody's gonna tell you what to do and you don't have to say a word if you don't want to. Just listening to other people share about what's going on with them helps in some crazy way.

I worked with an artist years ago who was a recovering alcoholic. I asked her if all artists were sensitive and empathic. She said "no" but all alcoholics and addicts are." I think that's true.

I can tell you that many, many people have sat across from me and after all was said and done, they were grateful not only for their recovery but for their addiction. The journey that addiction and recovery can take you on is like none other. You can truly become the person you were meant to be before this world beat you down. You can finally find and BE yourself - no apologies - you can find the strength within that you didn't know was there. You can define yourself by a whole new set of rules. You can wake up in the morning happy. Actually happy and eager to face whatever the day brings. In the program we call it serenity and it beats money, sex, drugs and power by a long shot... Much luck to you, Visitor

moon
@moon
11/02/15 03:15:17PM
73 posts

Being such a sensitive empath, leading to addiction


Empath

Yes, yes and yes - lol! We humans will do whatever works. We have a system that is composed of several brain structures. They make up the Reward System. Drugs (alcohol is a drug - so is sugar) will hijack this system over time so that you begin to experience your need for the drug on a survival level. Have you ever been a smoker who couldn't smoke? You truly feel like you'll die without a cigarette - that's the reward system. This is the danger with drugs because it happens relatively quickly.

The reason you use alcohol is that it works. It does what you want it to do. The problem is that it promises a whole 'nother set of problems you don't need.

Working with addicts for many years, I can tell you that the answer is to stop using it (with help if you need it) and start identifying and solving the problems that are plaguing you. Do not. I repeat. Do not - beat yourself up for this. This is a human thing and you're a human. It's just a matter of dealing with it, right?

I can promise you that if you follow this simple plan (simple - not easy) put the alcohol down and get help if you need it to deal with the pain - it will work and it can be the best thing that ever happened to you.

All of us (100%) are wounded in our families of origin. This is to different degrees, of course. This is nobody's fault, really, it's the human condition. What I'm trying to say is that most of us have to "unlearn" coping skills we learned in the very specific arena of our early families. They worked then but often they don't work now only we don't know what else to do so we keep trying to use them.

We can unlearn these negative coping skills and learn new ones. Twelve step groups are great for this!

Much luck. Please know that you're not alone.

Word of caution. If you're drinking to the point of blacking out and/or get the shakes when you don't have alcohol, please know that these are signs that you may need help in becoming sober. Alcohol is a dangerous drug to detox from if you are physically addicted. Worse than heroin. Worse than coke. Please get help if you need it. Lots of people are out there to help.

moon
@moon
11/02/15 01:37:58PM
73 posts

Searching for explanation


Empath

Just want to add for ellicent: I remember hearing or reading somewhere that psychic impressions ALWAYS begin as negative ONLY precognitions but that if the individual works on their abilities, they eventually broaden to include positive and neutral information.

Many, many people had visions of 911 before it happened. I remember hearing about one woman who dreamed about running in panic with hundreds of people while ash and debris fell all around them. She was sure there was going to be a volcano eruption the next day - it was September 11th.

There are people who dream or have visions of catastrophic plane crashes that they know are going to happen. Which airline? Where? Who do you call? You'd certainly risk being visited by Homeland Security if you started calling all the airlines...

You can't beat yourself up for anything. If I had a premonition that someone was going to commit suicide, I'm wouldn't really believe it enough to actually say something. I think the only people who would are those who have years and years of working with their premonitions seriously and probably professionally. The way I see it, if someone has decided to commit suicide for real, they are going to see that it happens. At best they will delay it. People who are determined to do it usually do or they reach out for help. Either way, they're in control. I'm saying this as a therapist.

So why get these premonitions then? Maybe it's personal. Maybe it's information about yourself - that you have an ability that everyone has to one degree or another. Most people (myself included) have it to a much lesser degree than you but there are some who have it to a high degree - like you. Maybe you're getting a nudge that it's time to acknowledge it.

I don't think it means you need to believe in crystals or unicorns. If you study bona fide psychics, they run the gamut from those who are very grounded and approach their ability scientifically to those who wear long purple robes and call themselves Starchild Princess or some such thing. That's just different belief systems and personalities. Mark Anthony (a psychic and lawyer) is one who always struck me as pretty grounded.

One theory about these abilities involves our concept of time. We experience time as linear but that doesn't mean that it IS linear. What if the past, present and future are all happening now? Perhaps some people can just tap into that ball of events spontaneously. The truth is just because we don't understand the mechanics (yet) doesn't make it woo-woo. That's a popular notion based on the superstitions of our ancestors.

Jung discussed the collective unconscious who some have compared to the notion of the Akashic records that contain all knowledge and experiences that have ever or will ever happen.

Why not educate yourself about these experiences and see what feels true for you? Find a mentor that you can trust and respect and polish your gift so that you will see it as an asset and not a source of anxiety. You are so not alone. There is a great deal of support on this forum. Much love.

moon
@moon
11/02/15 12:54:24PM
73 posts

Searching for explanation


Empath

I suspect that if I hadn't begun having anomalous experiences beginning in infancy and continuing throughout my life, I too would be very skeptical about these things. I think it's part of my nature (maybe part of everyone's?) to apply logic first and rely on the things we've been taught that could and couldn't be when presented with experiences that don't fit with the accepted world view.

While I still don't think there's a problem with this approach in general, I've come to apply my skepticism within a larger context. That context is one that: accepts that reality is much greater (and much different) than we've heretofor suspected - that there are things about our own reality that defy measurement or quantification - our science is limited to what we know and there is much we don't know (perhaps the greater part of this ratio.) - we cannot measure these things against our "knowledge to date" but instead see these experiences as pointing up our need to learn more.

I think we need to understand that the scientific method simply fails us when it comes to anomalous experiences. I don't think it's about having to "comply" with this method in order for something to be understood as real but rather, allow for more fluidity in the method itself in order to understand the experience. I think it's at this point, science can become just another belief system that rejects anything outside its own dogma.

Real freedom of thought for me is in finally being "okay" with uncertainty. I have come to accept that there are things that don't fit my basic worldview but that they exist nontheless. For this reason I am able to maintain a level of (healthy) skepticism AND accept that these kinds of things do happen in actuality. I can hold these experiences (mine and others) at this point of balance because I have nothing to prove either way.

Anyway, this has worked for me and although it sounds impossible or at the very least really frustrating, I have found it freeing somehow. I am still endlessly fascinated by the so-called paranormal and I am passionately spiritual in my own way. I am still in deep love with this planet and nature and how it works. I guess it's like Einstein said: "You can either see it all as a miracle or you can see none of it as a miracle" I probably butchered that, but you know the quote!

Someone in this discussion (can't find it now) used the word "resonate". I agree with that word as a way of knowing one's personal truth. I think we all have that little antenna that helps to guide us. Of course, that begs the question: Is what's true for me also true for you lol?

moon
@moon
11/02/15 11:28:26AM
73 posts

Quantum Physics and Empaths


Empath

Thanks for posting this, Trevor. Quantum Physics/Mechanics is so interesting. Newton and so many others helped us learn about the natural laws of this world and we thought we "had it". Then we start looking at things smaller than atoms and lo' and behold - none of the laws of physics seem to apply! What does this tell us about the nature of reality? Are there layers and layers - each with its own set of natural laws? Do we call those layers dimensions? Can we move between these dimensions? Are portals and vortexes real? are black holes another name for them? It's truly fascinating and just goes to show that science is not the "end all - be all" after all. Science is just a set of tools for learning. I am beginning to lean toward the theory that consciousness is really the basis of reality and matter is simply information riding on the energy of consciousness...I will look for that show on NPR's website - they usually have everything in their archives.

Anthony Peake has interesting theories about consciousness and the nature of reality. He takes great pains to research the known science about these theories. He has a lot posted on Youtube. Great stuff! Thanks again.

moon
@moon
11/02/15 09:53:18AM
73 posts



I work very hard to make sure clutter doesn't accumulate because when it does, I find that I get into a confused and very ungrounded state. In Feng Shui, we learn that the Chi (Qi) or energy will get trapped in dark and cluttered places and cause illness and a lack of positive progress in life. If we don't make room for the energy to flow, nothing new can come into our lives and we stagnate.

I am a "piler". I tend to put things in neat piles that appear organized at first glace but in reality are a random stack of things that have no "home".

What has been working for me is to start my day out by scanning every room (except my husband's horror of an office), throwing out what needs to go or spending a few minutes finding a home for what needs to stay.

This works now but was preceded by a "big" clean out. We actually found a person who was willing to haul our basement and garage full of junk away for just the dump fees provided there were some "goodies" in there for him to keep. Weighing the practicality of even selling the "good" stuff and still being left with the junk to haul on our own, this worked out well. Every once in a while, we look for something that has gone but six months later, I couldn't tell you what 99% of that stuff was.

In the past, clutter has brought me to my knees in terms of stagnation and depression and we're not talking about clutter that rose to the level of "Hoarders" - just normal American "too much crap". I find that I am very sensitive to it. I also find that the major reason for clutter for me has been my reluctance to make a decision about things - "Do I need/want/have a use for it?" "If so, where will its home be?" "If not, do I give it away, sell it or thow it out?" These kind of decisions used to stymie me. Now I make them with the precision and swiftness of a surgeons blade - lol.

This has made a vast and positive change in my life - more than I would have thought...

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