God bless you too
Again, it's very hard to follow your train of thought, because you seem to use semantics as an argument. Anyway, I know we all have a choice to make, and it comes down to the choice of believing in God's love for us. As far as our own freedom goes, God's word rules. If God says you are free, then you are truly free, and nothing you do changes that. Simply because of who he is, he says one word, and that words changes everything. We cannot change the rules any more than the darkness can escape the light.
The choice we make is absolute, that is why we need Him. Without Christ we are lost, and we struggle, and we are bound to fall. But when we are in Christ, everything we do is done through him and of him, even if we do nothing. That is the power of Calvary. So, if you are in Christ, then you do nothing in yourself, but by Him and through Him. It removes the ego and replaces it with grace. Because it is through grace that we live in Him, and not by our actions. And it is by grace that we live through Him, and not by our ourselves.
I hope I am making sense.
I have to admit I find it hard to follow your ideas and thoughts. But I don't see why anybody would be offended.
I think though you are attempting to define good and evil and I think everyone do that at some point or another. For me, I realize I cannot understand so much, and when I reach out into the universe and out into the infinity that is the truth, my mind boggle and my soul reel in amazement. Right now we have to live with the limits of the illusions of this world, but anyone that is a child of God, there is an anchor to hold on to, a light as a guidance, so that we don't have to be afraid or lose footing. That is why Christ is the way, the light and the life. As the bible says - we will one day have the knowledge that God has of us and we will see ourselves and the world as if 'face to face'.
For me, good is simply where God is, and evil is the absence of God. Since God is everywhere and everything, this is quite mind boggling aswell. The closest thing I can think of is a place where God has removed his presence (i.e. his Love) from. There's alot of scripture that mentions God's holiness and alot of theologians have written about it too, but I think it's good to simplify it in these terms because we cannot understand it, not in any human terms or languages anyway.
That God as removed his presence ofcourse doesn't mean that he isn't there. For lack of better understanding, God observes everything.
I think, people egos makes them complicate things, when it has been made very simple for us. There is a clear path, it is the right one, and we know this because of Christ's sacrifice and example. And we pretty much don't have to do anything, we really couldn't either, we just have to acknowledge it, receive it, and walk it. The fight has already been fought for us, everything has been given to us, and we know this because God gave us his only son to prove it.
Anyway, interesting topic, and sorry if I got a bit off topic or whatever, I get excited sometimes.
I agree with what both Nocturne and Elizabeth are saying, they are wise advice.
I just want to add that I know people that for many many years refused or was unable to listen to their bodies, either from not knowing or otherwise, and they got sick because of it. I don't know if it's possible to be completely healed or not, but I do believe that listening to yourself and changing your lifestyle can make it possible that thesymptoms will lessen or even make them almost disappear. I think it's hard to predict because it's individual. The time your life was so stressful and hard, your body and energy was 'beaten' inside and out and it went through alot. It's almost like a bruise, and for it to be able to heal, you have to change your life so that the wounds can heal. You are simply very vulnerable and sensitive in a way that you weren't before. That means that eating better, meditating or praying, stop using beauty products with strong chemicals and eating more natural foods, working out if you can, talking about how you feel...all those things will start a process in you that will make you stronger and come closer to yourself. It is good to have people in your life that can help you with the change. You know best what you need though, but the rule of thumb here is that this is the time for you to take care of yourself and put your own needs first as much as possible.
Love & Light
Just weighing in my two cents here, but...
If the doctors can't actually find anything that is the cause, medically, then I'd venture a guess that there's a chance there is no 'permanent' damage done, and that you can in fact, heal. The first step is for you to figure out how or why you have/are taking in other people's illnesses.The way I think we sometimes takes on things and subconsciously have a hard time letting it go, as if it's our job or something. You might want to delve into the reasons why are taking it on. I'd guess it's hard, but probably worth it. Maybe meditating or praying or whatever will help? You need to connect with the part of your self that is holding on to these things that aren't yours and if possible let them go.
Also, sometimes I do think things happen for a reason and we do things for good reasons, but it's a good idea to find out which.
Hope that helps a bit.
I feel like I've been going insane LOL. But I can't relate anything in particular to weather, besides feeling storms and thunder in my body. But I've been really sensitive - I just want to crawl into a dark corner and don't come out until next year or something LOL.
I can relate very much to what you are saying, and I too am always analyzing things to bits from a 'logical' perspective, wanting reason and science. Finding out about Empathy is so much more than just understanding oneself, it's changing much of our world view, at least it is for me, and I struggle with it every day. For me it gos like this: that I've always been different and sensitive and feeling so much, and I fear that being an Empath is an irrational way of explaining (or rationalizing) myself and why I've always felt outside of things. But what I've come to realize is that irrationality goes both ways. I'm a skeptical mind, but I also can get too skeptical and never give myself credit for understanding myself. As much as I cannot deny the irrationality of certain views, I cannot deny I'm an Empath either. Even though I don't understand it, even though I look in a mirror and say to myself - it's not possible, this can't be - the truth still stares back at me with a smile. I'd say: I need to know. If this isn't true, I need to know. But I can never find anything that disputes it, besides my own fear and skepticism.
Everything starts with a choice, and this one, as always, is yours. I believe we already made all our choices, and we now have to understand them.
For some time now, I have refused fear to rule me, because I'm so incredibly tired of it. I've always felt fear, and it's of no use.
But honestly, answers regarding this isn't about finding a hidden gem, or walking a path, it's about your own choices. There's nothing certain about choices, they're just that, choices. For me, it's maddening at times, and painful.
I don't have all the answers, maybe I never will. But I'm me, at least.
Avic amare a santum
I can relate to alot of what you are saying. At times I even wish for more specificity when what I sense about someone is a 'picture' with many details and colors. I believe there are many different ways to experience someone else's inner world, but I have yet to really have any wider grasp or control of any of them.
Yeah, I too have stuff hanging over me for hours sometimes, even days if I'm unlucky. Sometimes it's just confusing, but I can definitely tell most of the time if it's good or bad. Maybe starting to categorize more what I actually sense, like you do, will help. I do get a sense from who it could be coming from, if it's people I know, otherwise its harder. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Right, so shields are extensions of ourselves, they are visualizations that we use to help our brains and bodies cope with input from around us. If a shield is not working against, say a particular person or energy, one has to ask oneself - what is making me susceptible to this particular thing and what about my attitude can I change? The more I think about it, the more I believe that shields are strongly connected to our own knowledge about ourselves and the world around us - and particularly to our own connection and/or relation to it.
For instance, me simply knowing about empathy and energy, changes the way I filter input from the outside - and that is just on an unconscious level. Controlling it is another thing entirely. One can have a seemingly perfect shielding, and suddenly become affected by something or someone, that makes one reel inside.
What I am saying is that a shield is not a magical blanket one puts on, it comes from within - thoughts, ideas, perception, will, and emotion etc. There is clearly a psychological aspect that is deeply personal.
Since shielding is an extension of us, the idea of shielding as a concept that is set apart from ourselves is deceptive, because it hides the real issue, which is our own minds and souls. I guess this is the good news, because since we have free will, we can seek out ourselves, and learn. For some of us that can mean seeking out something that is higher than ourselves - I know that many here turn to God, or something they call God, when they are overwhelmed by this life. Also I think a place like this helps - just to know we are not alone in our struggles, that we can comfort each other.
In essence, shields that come from our own minds naturally don't protect against forces that our minds are not ready for or that are beyond our understanding, consciously and subconsciously. Yes, it's easier to blame the shield than see who you yourself are, but there is no shame in ignorance of oneself, because this world hides us from ourselves. The bible incidentally say that we will one day see the truth as if in a mirror, and I believe that.
And I believe that there is powerful protection against anything out there. I have sometimes felt it as clearly as if something was trying to hit me and instead hitting an impenetrable wall. And I don't credit any of that to my shielding skills, actually none of it. My conscious shielding is, if anything, a product of my own understanding and centeredness, but it doesn't change who I am, or give me magical powers.
Anyway, this is what I have come up with, considering this today.
I hope it can help in some way.
Avic amare a santum
Wow, man, your enthusiasm makes me smile. Just what I needed right now. :D Thanks.
I've hard time finding people that I feel similar to, beside my family I guess, so I I'd have to start there. But we live in different cities so it will be a different experiment. I'll definitely consider that aspect and try to find and incorporate that thinking.
I think it would be useful if you shared what kind of techniques or paths one should avoid or be careful with. I don't think you have put anyone off. Being ambiguous doesn't really help anyone though to be honest, so it would be good if you would expand on it a little.
I think the kind of posts that you just wrote can either make people not listen at all or make people scared for no reason, neither of which is good. As much as I believe you have invaluable experiences, you should make a decision to share them properly, and not be scared to say 'too much'. Hey you might even learn something helpful. We're all here to help each other out after all. Actually I get the sense that you do want help, although I ofcourse could be wrong.
Either way, I encourage you to share what could help others.
Peace be with you, Greg.
I think perhaps there are as many shields as there are people, basically, in that you can't judge all shields on one shield, so to speak. I think that you are right that knowledge and understanding oneself is so much a big part of why shield control works - just comparing with me, on a really bad day, shielding won't just work, because I don't understand myself or what is happening around me. And all that is coupled with tons of other factors. A thing like how much I've slept can really ruin my shielding technique, because I basically don't have a good understanding of how to control it - I just have faith my brain will get what I am trying to do with my visualization. Does any of this make sense?
I think shielding probably could distance us from the world, but it doesn't have to. There are different kind of shielding - for instance if one learn to filter, one can let things in that one otherwise wouldn't be able to. Also, I think we all have some sort of autonomous shielding that isn't correct and that is uncontrolled - for me, that means that my body can go from full shielding to none in seconds - and I have no control over it. Shielding is also incredibly tiring when done wrong or is uncontrolled. I suspect that it is a good thing to learn to control shielding and filtering to be able to do and be what you want and who you are. Since I've started shielding (although I'm bad at it) and wearing stones for shielding, I've come out of my shell a bit and feel much more confident and myself. Sure, some of it is getting to know myself, but I wouldn't have done it so much I don't think if I hadn't started trying to shield actively. I'm not an expert, but this is my 50 cent.
In short one doesn't have to block out everything when shielding, it's just about being in control of yourself and what you allow to impact you and how you impact others.
Temet nosce and all that.
I admit I can get a rush like feeling from watching someone really inspirational and sometimes I just need it so badly. It can be an author I like, or a singer or even someone unknown that just affects you - or it can be a moment or a piece of art, anything. We're all connected, and sometimes we have a deep need for showing respect and love for that fact. I'll add my contribution below, and you guys can add your Inspirational people or things to the thread. Celebrate our connectedness with love and respect. <3
My latest found inspiration is:
Lorine Zineb Noka Talhaoui - aka Loreen is a Swedish singer, with moroccan berber descent, that just won the eurovision song contest. Her calm energy and powerful singing combined with her loving nature inspires me very much. I feel like this woman could move mountains if she wanted to - or we all together, as she would say. Below is an interview, and two singing performances. Maybe it can help lift your day. <3
Thanks for posting, it's good to know I'm not alone in the experience of trying to understand other people, in that sense.
I think my imagination is both a good thing, but also a challenge, because it's part of why I have trouble trusting my instincts, and for good reason. But I think it's a great insight you have there.
Kari, you are right, I have been aware for a while now that I need to get in tune with what is me and my own feelings, but since I am lousy at meditating (although I probably will get better at it), and I don't really know what to look or even start looking, I think books might help me on the way tbh. Being aware of your own emotions is really hard when everything is just a confusing jumble of energy and unknown language. I need to get my bearings, just to be able to tell what is what, so I can be aware of my own emotions.
Thank you though for your post.
Deborah, my own inability to describe my inner world might be because of confusion, but I can relate to what you are saying somehow, and I feel as if these books might give me at least ideas what to do about it. Thanks for your posts, too. <3
I'm not so much like that with physical pain - but I definitely get affected when watching psychological pain and torture - I can sometimes feel like I am literally going insane myself - so I stay clear from certain thrillers and psychological horror, because it affects me so much. I think that I would probably learn to shield if I watched more of them, which I have with for instance watching violence. But it depends on how the movie is made and what the story is, as with everything, I guess.
I think you probably became very vulnerable and wasn't able to shield.
So yes, for me it's the psychological aspect of horror that affects me, not the violence per se, but what the intent is. Sometimes I can feel the intent of the movie maker even, and a feeling of what the intent of the script is - and it's not a nice feeling.
I also hate watching catastrophe movies - they make me very uncomfortable, and I can't enjoy that kind of suspense, it seems so...horribly wasteful and depressing, and I feel like crying and just mourning.
Yeah, but with the situation with the guy, I don't really know if I am projecting or not - I can't tell. I simply can't tell. And that freaks me out sometimes, if I really think about it. I know I am probably over analyzing, but what do you do, when everything is so confusing. I am very sensitive also, and I think I've learned to shut things down over the years. I hardly ever show any upsetting emotions to anyone else anymore. Lately I have started to do it a bit, purely out of selfishness, but I still have trouble letting things out, at least in public, even to my mom. I wonder if I'm emotionally impaired, that I'm intuitively shielding in some way that isn't helping my situation. Problem is, as with most of these things, I really can't tell, you know?
Thank you! Yes, it helps alot. I guess it's like writing a map or having some sort of point of reference. But it's hard because I don't talk about emotions with other people much - not in that way.
I think the hardest thing about thinking it's all in my head is that I do have a very active imagination, and what I imagine do seem very real, as if I am experiencing it. The same thing that makes reading a book so enjoyable, also confuses the heck out of me. Example: I was playing a game online, and this guy was trying to 'add me' and I ignored him, because I don't add random people, and I said so. I kept feeling this aggressiveness from him, and I thought it was because he was angry or something, and I even asked why he was angry, but he denied it and said he only wanted to 'add me' and soon left after that. Part of me wonders if I'm just imagining it, or even projecting my own fear of angering someone onto the situation - but why would I do that? I can't tell if it would add up or not.
I realize emotions are complicated, especially to 'read', though. Would this analogy fit: that it's like trying to read several layers of text written on transparent paper that lies on top of each other - the words are all scrambled.
Since I became aware of the concept of Empathy, I naturally have started to analyze what I feel and sense around me, and it has struck me that even though I have a keen sense of who is feeling lots of emotions around me, and I sense so much in general, my understanding of what I am sensing is limited somehow. It's hard for me to explain.
I can sense someone's energy, and I can recall the 'imprint' later and reproduce it perfectly in my mind, how they felt and what how made me feel inside. But I can't put words on it. It's frustrating because I know I need to write things down to learn about myself, and especially to get to know my feelings, but I don't know what the words are. Most of the time all I can describe what I feel is 'lots of emotions', with no specifics.
It's not very helpful, needless to say. Could my impairment mean I haven't actually learned what these emotions are? I thought I had a keen sense about what emotions are, I mean I know what sad, happy, angry etc. all are. Right? At times, everything feel like a blur, to the point where I question if I am an Empath at all. What is the point of feeling overwhelmed if I can't distinguish my own 'blur' from another's, if I can't describe it with words?
Sometimes it does seem like I have a clue what is going on, but I don't know how I do it. I think I'm a natural shielder, but I can't tell if I have any control over it or not. I feel like a 5 year old trying to drive a car.
What do you guys think, do I need to learn about emotions, or do you have any idea what is going on?
Your input is much appreciated!
I guess what part of what I am seeking is a theological standpoint that correlates better with my changed world view. It should be simple - because, as you say God wants me to love him and trust him - but to me, the theological question of what the right thing to do, actively, when learning to cope with this side I haven't acknowledged before, feels like a stumbling block. Or at least it's an obstacle. I can't get around it, I can't move it, and ignoring it gets me nowhere. In short, to go forward with my Empathy, I need to face the conflict it has aroused and try to understand what it does to me.
Because I don't think I'll be able to get at a similar place where you are now, without dealing with it. I know, this probably sounds like a very superfluous philosophical issue, but I am scaring myself to the point where I am questioning my own sanity. It's not so much about getting answers, as asking the right questions. Is 'where do I draw the line' a relevant question? I have no clue. Do I just wait for God? Do I stop all use of stones, don't shield or ground, or what? I don't know.
I guess what I am wondering is how much one should get into learning to 'control' or 'limit' Empathy. I am in many ways an 'impaired' Empath - I do shielding, but many times I get surprised and overwhelmed - and I have done a sort of grounding for years, even before I knew what Empathy was.
I just don't know it I just should learn to live with how it is now, or try to learn about it more and get better at shielding and stuff.
For me, I don't even know what it means to 'take advantage' of my gift, or even where I end and others begin!
I am a major skeptic and I don't easily trust my own instincts, but if I were to, I'd say that I sense energy on another scale, more than just emotions, and everything is just jumbled up in a giant weight on me and around me. I've been miserable my entire life, and I didn't know why, and since I started actively shielding and grounding and using stones, I feel like another person, like I learn to know ME. If that makes sense.
So I need to know where the line is. Generally I have taken the stance that God leads me and anything that doesn't feel right isn't. But I think I am working through a phase of doubt in myself, and in my faith, and as I decide to trust God even more, I need to work things out in a more theological way.
It really helps to remind oneself that God is in control, and that he leads even where we don't notice, but my mind have trouble letting go of this issue I have.
This place is the only one where I feel I can get the support and feedback I need. Hope I am making sense.
Gah, I wrote a long reply, but then my browser failed me, and it got lost...
Thank you Rebecca, for your post, it helps alot.
Basically what I got from it is that I think I need to let go of control (that I really don't have anyway), and be patient with myself - because God is the one in control, and I am His completely. Also, it's not that I feel 'pushed' as much as I feel an urgency, like there is something I need to do or pay attention to. It kind of reminds me of when I felt I just had to mention a bible verse in youth group (have you ever felt like that?).
Can I ask you, what is your take on how one should go about learning to control Empathy? What do you think about using stones?
It's so disheartening when the big post you wrote just disappears. Now I'm tired.
Anyway, thanks again - sometimes all you need is a brother or sister in Christ with a clear perspective. One can get so wrapped up in things. I haven't figured things out, that's for sure, but I know I want to rest in God's promises.
I think I need some input on something, and this is the only place I know that can remotely understand what I am going through.
From everything I've been feeling and going through the past months, I've realized that there is an unresolved conflict going on within me that is starting to feel dangerous for my health. I am feeling increasingly depressed, conflicted and confused. I know God loves me and that I don't need to be afraid, and at a deep level this is what is keeping me, I think. God has shown me he's always with me. But I feel like I am being pulled and pushed towards something I don't know what. I hasn't really come anywhere with learning to control my Empathy this past months, I think because I don't know if I should learn to control it, if it is not God's will or not. This is the conflict that I have realized I have inside - despite other parts of me believing that God gave it to me as a gift, just like He is the greatest Empath. Maybe it's the fact that I feel, and have experienced, other gifts that I am pretty much scared witless of (and at some point am not scared of them, which scares me more?). I have just had sneak peeks, so to speak. I know that as long as I don't actively go after those 'gifts', it's in God's hands, and safely so. But the conflict in me seems to stem from the fact that I don't know where the line is, or if there even is a clear one (which is scary in itself), and I am afraid of moving in any direction at all. That would be fine I guess, with trusting God, but now I am constantly stressed and conflicted and feel like God wants me to go in faith, and I can partly recognize the pull - it's like one of those instances where you ask God if something is from him, and you can't NOT do it because of that. I hope I am making sense here.
Anyway, I am scared that it's just my flesh talking, and it's not from God. Also, I'm not even sure what the message is! Basically there is so much going on inside me, I don't even know how to explain it - I haven't even scratched the surface in this post.
Any prayers and feedback is greatly appreciated.
I dunno, I think part of it is that I felt like I could do anything, I don't remember feeling fear or anger. If I had any of those emotions, the awareness of them came afterwards. It's really hard to explain. I think it's true that it was because I HAD to act, and not just for my own safety. I think that the feeling of being able to do anything was on some level pleasant, because acting was a necessity, but I don't think 'enjoying' is the right word. I definitely did not enjoy it. Keeping in mind that I really didn't have much force behind any action. Fight was the first response, but when that didn't work, I changed tactics to a combined fight & flight response. But I think you're right that there was a feeling of lines being crossed from others that lead to me acting.
I know what you mean about happy adrenaline - I get that when I for instance is having an intellectual discussion or a meaningful conversation with someone. It's like I get high. LOL.
The bad side of course, is when I get a reaction from high noises or people yelling. Especially, because I can sense people's emotions in my own body, drama can be very traumatic for me. I can feel adrenaline rush through my body in those situations.
On a more serious note - I do have been in a real fight/flight situation, and it can't really be explained so that someone that haven't would understand, if you know what I mean. I am actually happy that I hadn't any training when it happened, because of what I might have done in that case. I know of my own strength, and I guess I am in a way grateful for it, but I never want to experience it again, because I don't like the person I became. Not sure if I am making sense - guess we're both rambling.
I can feel like that at times, even when I'm not touched! It's like the energy of some people just leave me feeling horrible. I think it's because I take on some of their energy, or emphatically copy it or something. What has worked for me is stopping, breathing, and do a shielding exercise - letting all the negativity just drain off you and then shield with positive thoughts. It requires some practice to make perfect, but you will feel better. Carrying stones are good too. Figure out what works best for you.
I've always felt drawn to martial arts myself, but I've never had the money to actually go learn it - also I've had some issues with self esteem that has stopped me. But I think I'm partly drawn to it because I at some level feel I would benefit from the required discipline. I guess when the world feels like it is literally weighing you down into the ground, and you're constantly distracted - especially if one is an unbalanced Empath - that kind of discipline and physical ability seems helpful. Learning about yourself here, is like redefining your view on reality. It takes some work, for sure.
Personally I am still learning to accept myself - I almost feel like a split personality at times, because I both intellectually and emotionally am struggling with the concept - am I an Empath or not? Funnily enough I don't have a problem with accepting that there is such a thing as Empaths - and the reason for this is my own experience of other peoples emotions. But the concept of me being an Empath is not as easy to accept, and it's partly because people around me wouldn't accept it that as a concept. I know, it doesn't make sense. LOL.
Anyway, now I am just rambling, welcome to EC! :D
Personally I like to wear stones - I have this obsidian bracelet that I use almost all the time - partly because it works better then when I am actively shielding (I get really tired if I shield too much), and partly because stones filter energy in a natural way that isn't too intrusive. But I do realize that stones are just crutches in a way. One do has to learn to 'face' all the information that is thrown ones way without having to use stones all the time. I think there is a big difference how you shield - you can shut down all outside input or you can filter it, just like the stones are doing, but more effective.
I think learning to find yourself and following your instinct is a big part of it. I read some 'expert' that advocated that you shut everything off and then learn to 'read', but that sounds so wrong somehow, like you're shutting down who you are, plus I'm not sure the person really understands what Empathy is all about. But hey, who knows.
Point being though, ones own instincts tells alot what and how you should do something, and I think what we need to do is learn what our thing is. Kind of because I am sort of lazy, I don't put alot of work into shielding, and I've noticed that even though I have to learn more about it, and how to shield more effective, I instinctively are lightly shielding myself, kind of like I'm filtering. Sometimes I do need to put some more work into it - especially at work where there are thousands of people in the vicinity. I can sometimes feel strong 'jolts' of energy from someone going past where I sit, and I turn around, like 'what was that?'.
I think it depends what you are doing, what kind of shielding you need to do - I think you can learn to shield intuitively, or filter, whatever is most comfortable. I think it's good to learn different techniques that you can pull out - some situations you'd want to completely shield, because of the strong negativity coming at you. But most times though, just lightly shielding or filtering would be enough. I see it as your minds way of coping with the input from the world around you - shielding is visualization tool and it changes from individual to individual.
As for shielding too much - there is something that happens to me when I spend too much time in a certain group of people or for instance in a mall or midtown - I become fatigued and 'numb', like when you hit your thumb and it feels overwhelming, you know? That's how I feel on an emotional level, and into my body, when I have spent an afternoon shopping. Needless to say - I'd need to learn to filter or shield in order not to become a flailing heap of numbness in that situation.
I do get 'over charged' in big crowds, which I think is why I get numb. All energy, good and bad, are just poured into me, and in the end I sort of either shut down or just feel like everything is crushing me. Longer bus trips can make me tired to the point where I'm on the verge of crying - especially if something is added into the mix that I am sensitive emotionally about. Hmm. Now I'm just rambling, sorry.