I know I should probably have figured it out sooner, but it's hard when you can't think that other people don't feel what you feel. I've certainly identified with certain fictional characters, but to me they were always not real, and I didn't take it further. Hey, I'm still trying to figure out what is me being an Empath and what is my own imagination.
I do remember watching Heroes and relating to Peter Petrelli lots and lots, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I think they mentioned him being an 'Empath' once in that show, and it resonated with me, but I still couldn't think it had actually anything to do with me.
It was actually years later when I had some traumatic events happen in my family that I had to face what I was feeling, because everything was so intense. I don't remember a particular moment, other than that it was a thought that grew and finally I had to figure out what was happening, because I thought I was literally going insane. I still feel like that sometimes. I had just moved to an apartment building and started a new job and everything went nuts. Then I started to search for Empath on google, and one thing after another went 'click' 'click 'click' inside me.
I still don't have much control nor understanding of what the heck is going on with me, and maybe, because I found out when I was relatively old, it might be too late for me. But just knowing something, having at least an explanation why I get so tired after being around people that I want to sleep for 100 days in a row, why I feel sick when people around me are upset, why I have this need to help people, it helps.
So yeah, I'm not even sure I know now. I just know there is something I can't deny, what it is, that is for me to find out, I guess. I can't really skip ahead and see the end result.
What I am, I've always been, I can remember things from when I was a child that suddenly makes sense, that never before did. Maybe awareness is a powerful thing, but I can't know, because I can't know what it is like to not be like this. Also, I grew up in a home where my mother always was an unaware Empath - yes, even that makes sense now - and she still doesn't know - but I ofcourse never really thought I was that different because of that, so I guess that was both a good and a bad thing.
I'm not sure I'm making sense,
Oh for crying out loud guys, now you've made me cry. Not in a bad way though.